20 Life-Transforming Choices Adoptees Need to Make

by Sherrie Eldridge

As an adoptee, do you have mixed feelings about your adoption? If you do, you are not alone - adoptees often experience complex feelings of grief, anger, and questions about their identity. Sherrie Eldridge is an adoptee and adoption expert, and in this book she draws on her personal experiences and feelings relating to adoption as well as interviews with over 70 adoptees. Sherrie reveals how you can discover your own unique life purpose and worth, and sets out 20 life-transforming choices which you have the power to make. The choices will help you discover answers about issues such Why do I feel guilty when I think about my birth parents? Why can't I talk about the painful aspects of adoption? Where can I gain an unshakable sense of self-esteem? Sherrie also addresses the problem of depression among adoptees and common dilemmas such as if, when and how to contact a birth mother or father. This fully updated second edition includes new material on finding support online, contacting family through social media, and features three new chapters, including Sherrie's story of reuniting with her birth brother, Jon, in adulthood.

Genres: Adoption

297 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 21, 2015

About the author

For well over two decades, Sherrie Eldridge has offered her unique voice within the adoption community, as an established author and international speaker. An adoptee herself, Eldridge has the ability to see life through the eyes of an adopted child. In her seven published titles, she has shared her passion for validating adoptees’ life experiences and her desire to help adoptive parents better understand and meet their adopted children’s emotional needs.

Reviews

[Cynthia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am not an adoptee but I am 70+ years old and have met many adoptees in my life. This book is written by a adoptee who went on a search for her birth mother and from that experience grew her desire to help other adoptees made life-changing decisions in their lives.

I will definitely recommend this book for adoptees I come across to read BEFORE plunginging into a search. Each chapters deals with an issue televangelist to adoptees, lots of examples of how other adoptees have experienced this issue, and choices around addressing it.

The book has a large resources base including books and web references.

[Bonnie · Rating 5 out of 5]

As part of an adoptive family- I thought that I read - and tried to understand, adoption from every angle. As a birthparent. As an adoptive parent - of a baby, a child, a teen an adult. I never suspectedthat adoption to an adoptee can be so psychologically impactful - and so normal. There is a hole in the adoptee's life :where did I come from? Their identity is in constant question - even if subconsciously. There is a lingering victim mindset. They were "given" away.

Eldridge's book is for the adoptee. How to recognize the normal feelings? How to find identity?
But, it should be required reading for any member of an adoptive family.

[Rae · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5, rounded up. More later.

[June Wright · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book and keep it next to my computer so I can just remind myself every day of the choices I can make that day.

[Lana · Rating 1 out of 5]

A more in-depth review to come because I have a lot of thoughts/ feelings about this book.

[Kimberly LaRoche · Rating 1 out of 5]

Didn’t even read all of it. As an adoptee, I felt insulted by the elementary language of this book and did not relate at all.