Transforming The Difficult Child Workbook: An Interactive Guide to the Nurtured Heart Approach

by Howard Glasser, Howard Glasser, Joann Bowdidge

This long-awaited Nurtured Heart Approach Workbook brings to life the approach that has helped hundreds of thousands of parents, educators, therapists and other caregivers to help intense children to go from negativity to highly positive outcomes. So many children simply experience the truth of how people respond to them and innocently form an impression that there is so much more available relationship and response when things are going wrong. By way of normal and traditional approaches to parenting adults are typically so much more present for children when problems are occurring. When everything is going smoothly adults normally say little or nothing and even when we approve of something we at most seem to say variations of thank you or good job. Compared to how we wax poetically when issues arise, our ways of reflecting success are relatively skimpy. Parents are simply trying as hard as they can, with the best of intentions, with the methods they have at their disposal. Some children who are a bit more intense, sensitive or needy, simply fall into the allure of how much greater the payoffs for negativity seems to be and from there so easily can spin a life of an addiction to strife and failures. No one does this on purpose. It s just that conventional approaches to parenting and teaching inadvertently are like giving the child energetic $100 bills in response to the child s acting-out - by way of long discussions, greater urging to do the right thing, more emotion, and stronger involvement. The timing is simply upside down. Greater presence, response, energy and relationship need to happen when things are going right. The great news is that it s not only simple to turn this around, while still holding the child fully accountable, it can be done in a way that brings the child to use that very same intensity in successful ways. We contend that parents don t really want improvements via the standard recommendation of medications at the price of essentially diminishing a child s life force and risk or myriad side effects more extensive than parents are ever told. Children, like adults need every bit of their life force intact to live a fruitful life. We believe that what parents really want is for the child to be intensely wonderful. The same life force that can run amuck in the realm of negativity can be as exponential when applied to success, and then you have the best kid on the block. The best news is that this same approach that is the basis of the top selling book on ADHD, Transforming the Diificult Child (1999) by Howard Glasser and Jennifer Easley, has now evolved and is now not only easier and more powerful than ever, but it has been recreated to help parents and teachers take it to a new level of instilling greatness in the child. This workbook format provides an interactive guide to get the Nurtured Heart Approach underway. It will walk you through the process of fully understanding the approach, then it will introduce the strategies and will encourage you and support you every step of the way. It is enormously gratifying to experience the turn around to having your child be thoughtful, considerate, respectful and responsible. We hope you enjoy the journey.

Genres: Parenting

214 pages, Paperback

First published January 12, 2008

Reviews

[Laura Montane Bailey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Of all the Nurtured Heart Approach books, this is the one I recommend the most often. Most parents can take this book one chapter at a time and learn to apply the approach with even the most difficult children. Even parents who are not into reading can benefit and change the atmosphere of their homes - from chaotic and stressful, to peaceful and loving. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND!

[Grace Lynch · Rating 3 out of 5]

Honestly this book felt extremely repetitive to me and I found myself feeling like I accidentally reread things. I also don’t feel like the Nurtured Heart Approach really addresses everything I want it to. There were some example scenarios given and I think they needed more. The responses were so focused on everything that the child did right (which is good) but I believe there is importance to pointing out and talking through what needs to be fixed for next time. Otherwise, the child either assumes they handled things perfectly or they are playing a guessing game on what was wrong in the first place.
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Overall, there were good points made, just not very thought provoking to me as I’ve heard all these points many times before when learning how to work with kids. I already use some of the approaches, I just take it a step further and actually address the bad behavior in form yet kind way so that they know I believe in them to be better.
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I don’t think there is anything wrong with talking to a child in a more serious way as long as it is handled correctly. Children deserve more credit than what they are given in terms of how they can be talked to. And honestly, I think most of the examples given would have made me feel completely babied if someone spoke to me in that way as a kid.

[Kahikina Reyes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Easy to read workbook with concepts that I often recommend to clients. As a therapist, this would be a book I would recommend.

[Shana · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the new, clearer and better edited version of Glasser & Easely's last book by the same name. Although their "Nurtured Heart Approach" was started as a means of helping challenging children adjust to life with the rest of us, the methods work like a charm with children at all levels of intensity.
I thought this version was truly outstanding. The message is simple, but still profound enough to make changes throughout the family.
Without spilling all the beans, I will say that the tactic these therapists take is the following: by focusing on the daily 10 minutes of negative behavior, we forget about the other 23hrs.50 min. of the day. To reset our thinking is to reprogram our children's self concept.
We give meaning to their successful moments by pointing them out in "snapshot moments" and create success where ever possible. We refuse to get sucked into the negativity and focus fearlessly on the positive moments. By creating feelings of success and continuously giving them real experiences of the qualities we want them to embrace, challenging kids learn to channel their energy in ways that truly benefit them.
There are a few more key elements like the quick, neutral time-outs and the credit system which cinch the whole deal. We have seem dramatic improvements in behavior in the beginning weeks of the program.
The other day, my intense child gave me a snapshot moment. He said "Hey mommy, I see you there, drawing with your green crayon. You look like you are having fun. You are successfully being peaceful and responsible." Even though we still get some resistance (we're not perfected yet) The positive messages are sinking in.

I think that this book should be a required reading for all adults who live or work with children.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Intuitive and sensible, but something I needed to hear again. Nit-picking the positive rather than the negative; Noticing the good; energizing the desired behavior: whatever you call it, the idea is to shape behavior in a positive and supportive way rather than a domineering and punitive way. Two weeks into this, our 6 year old is reborn. He's brighter, lighter, happier. Funny enough, so am I. Yelling and "correcting" and pointing out mistakes just wears EVERYONE down. We're all more optimistic, happy, and peaceful.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am taking this class right now and will go through the workbook on my own. I have seen dramatic changes with my 4 year-old when I remember to implement the principles taught. It's not specific for "difficult children" because, let's be honest, every child is intense in some way and this is a great parenting approach.

[D'artagnan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have a 1-year old and 4-year old, and this book is helping. it also seems to work on adult 4-year olds that present themselves to me daily for experimentation. Glasser has a somewhat preachy & annoying style, but smart and effective content.

[Stormy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is quite posibly the best ever way to help a difficult kid. It not only transforms the child it transforms the entire family, friends and family who begin to use it.

I read the book in two days then took the course. Outstanding.

[Maryellen]

A great reference for parents. Practical, step-by-step and with awesome metaphors. Psychoeducational must.