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GORBASH: Being a Mostly Accurate Account of the Life, Times, and Deeply Regrettable Career Choices of Gorbash the Orc, Accounts Manager
The world has seen many heroes. It has seen knights in shining armour, wizards of improbable wisdom, elves of extraordinary cheekbones, and at least one halfling who found a magic ring in a cave and spent the next sixty years making everyone's life considerably worse as a result.
It has not, until now, seen an orc accountant.
This is, in retrospect, a gap in the market.
Gorbash son of Grombash son of Grungash (the naming conventions of orcs being somewhat limited by a cultural suspicion of the letters D through F) was not born to greatness. He was born in a cave in the Broken Spine Mountains, which is exactly as comfortable as it sounds, to parents who had very specific ideas about what an orc's future should contain, most of which involved sharp implements and the colour red.
What his future actually contained was a calculating mind, an interest in double-entry bookkeeping, and a catastrophic misunderstanding involving a recruitment pamphlet.
What follows is, to the best of anyone's knowledge, true. Some names have been changed to protect the innocent. Most names have been changed because the original owners threatened legal action. Two names were changed because the author couldn't spell them.
It has not, until now, seen an orc accountant.
This is, in retrospect, a gap in the market.
Gorbash son of Grombash son of Grungash (the naming conventions of orcs being somewhat limited by a cultural suspicion of the letters D through F) was not born to greatness. He was born in a cave in the Broken Spine Mountains, which is exactly as comfortable as it sounds, to parents who had very specific ideas about what an orc's future should contain, most of which involved sharp implements and the colour red.
What his future actually contained was a calculating mind, an interest in double-entry bookkeeping, and a catastrophic misunderstanding involving a recruitment pamphlet.
What follows is, to the best of anyone's knowledge, true. Some names have been changed to protect the innocent. Most names have been changed because the original owners threatened legal action. Two names were changed because the author couldn't spell them.
59 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 21, 2026
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