From A. K. Herman, shortlisted for the 2025 OMC Bocas Prize for Caribbean Literature, a collection of insightful, sensual and unsettling stories that explore longing, the peculiar human ache.
In “Keepsake,” a waitress and a sailor form an erotic bond out of survival and maybe a little help from the supernatural. In “The Rules” a daughter follows her mother’s twelve strict rules to secure a husband. In “Dance,” a young woman uses seduction to create rules of her own. In “Speedo,” a necklace heals a man’s mind, and reveals truths he wants to forget. In “Up Down,” indigenous people revolt against the Capuchin forced labor system with deadly and disturbing results. A devoted husband in “The Both,” searches for a way to keep both his wives, and himself, happy. In “Small Castles,” a live-in nanny is caught between fraying bonds with her host-family and powerful external forces. And in the title story, a lover’s sudden death forces an old man to return to the past and confront the roots of his own painful longing.
A mesmerizing, and, at times, surreal collection, How to Lose at Longing, reveals an author in command of the written word with emotionally resonant prose and characters, you’ll be thinking about long after the last word.
A. K. Herman is a poet and fiction author, born in Scarborough, Tobago. A. K.’s story collection, How to Lose at Longing, is forthcoming in October 2026. She has been shortlisted for the Commonwealth Short Story Prize, and her debut collection, The Believers, was shortlisted for the 2025 OCM BOCAS Prize in Caribbean Literature, Fiction. A. K.’s writing appears in various print and online journals, including Doek! Literary Journal, the Waterstone Review, Lolwe, Shenandoah Literary Journal, and others. A. K. lives in Brooklyn.
I seem to be in the minority here, but I loved this collection! Maybe because I'm a working class person of color who immigrated from a third world country to a first world country in the hopes of a better life, so most of the story themes resonated with me. And for those experiences I've been lucky enough not to be in the position to relate to, the stories did an excellent job of showing me what they could've been like, and some of those stories stayed with me after I finished.
I think the stumbling block for many readers is the second story, Small Castles, because it's in 1st POV and the English (not just in the dialogue but in the narration) might be perceived as "broken" when it is, in fact, just how English developed in a certain part of the world. I did pause there myself, but when I returned to the book with the intent of really reading (and not just skimming while there's something streaming on the TV in the background, for example), I couldn't put it down.
The variety of the stories was great. I especially enjoyed Small Castles, Speedo, and The Rules + Dance. And I loved how there were speculative elements in some of them, too.
Thank you A. R. Phillips Press LLC and NetGalley for this ARC.
This was my first book by this author.
Collection of stories of different types of grief and longing. The writer does have very poetic language and there is nothing wrong with the stories, they are sad, touching and well written.
I received How to Lose at Longing as an ARC from NetGalley, and this was my first read by A.K. Herman. What surprised me most was how quickly these eight stories settled under my skin. The author writes longing not as a single emotion, but as a whole ecosystem being grief, desire, rebellion, memory, and the quiet ache of wanting more than the world is willing to give. The blend of Trinidadian and diasporic textures gives the collection a grounded, lived‑in feel, even when the stories lean into the uncanny. Here are a few stories resonated with me: Keepsake - This one hooked me immediately. A waitress and a sailor form a bond that’s part survival, part seduction, part something otherworldly. The author threads the supernatural so lightly that you almost miss it, but it deepens the emotional stakes rather than distracting from them at least for me! What stayed with me was the way both characters cling to each other, not out of romance, but out of a need to feel seen in a world that keeps trying to swallow them whole. It’s tender, eerie, and quietly devastating! Dance - This story is all about power and how seduction becomes a tool, a language, and sometimes a shield. The protagonist’s movements feel like a negotiation between who she is and who she refuses to be. The author captures that moment when desire becomes agency, when a woman decides she will no longer be acted upon but will act. The Rules - This is my favorite one of the collection. A daughter grows up under her mother’s twelve strict rules for securing a husband, and the story unfolds like a generational tug‑of‑war. What I loved most was how the author shows the daughter slowly rewriting those rules using seduction, yes, but also using self‑knowledge and defiance. It’s a story about inheritance, expectation, and the courage to break free from the scripts handed to us. The ending lands with a satisfying mix of rebellion and reclamation. The rest of the stories are just as layered, Indigenous resistance in Up Down, magical healing in Speedo, complicated domestic loyalty in The Both, and the aching grief of the title story, How to Lose at Longing, where an old man confronts the roots of his longing after a lover’s sudden death. To be honest, the stories were good, but I know that they won't stick with me like other anthologies that I have read. #netgalley #Howtoloseatlonging
=> Short story collection => Caribbean influence => Themes of grief, longing & identity => Literary / speculative elements
📖 I really wanted to connect with this collection more than I ultimately did. The title itself carries such a strong emotional pull, and there were definitely moments throughout the stories that felt raw, intimate, and quietly powerful. A.K. Herman explores themes like grief, longing, religion, immigration, relationships, and fear in ways that often felt vulnerable and deeply human. There’s also a distinct Caribbean influence woven through many of the stories, which gave the collection a unique atmosphere and perspective I appreciated a lot.
🌊 Since short story collections are already a hit-or-miss format for me, I think part of my struggle came from not fully connecting with every story emotionally. Some stood out far more than others, especially Keepsake, Small Castles, Speedo, and the titular How to Lose at Longing. Those stories felt the most immersive and memorable to me, with characters and emotions that lingered after finishing.
✍️ At times, though, I found the pacing and shifts in style a little difficult to follow, which made it harder for me to stay fully engaged throughout the collection. A few stories felt more abstract or abrupt than I expected, especially toward the end, and I occasionally struggled to grasp what the stories were trying to say beneath the symbolism. Still, I appreciated how fearless the collection was in addressing difficult topics like discrimination, displacement, uncertainty, and emotional isolation without softening them for comfort.
⭐ Overall, this was a distinctive and thoughtful collection that simply worked unevenly for me personally. Even though not every story landed, I can absolutely see this resonating with readers who enjoy literary short fiction with emotional and experimental elements. It gave me quite a lot to think about, and I’ll definitely remember certain stories long after finishing.
Thank you to NetGalley, A.R. Phillips Press LLC, and A.K. Herman for the ARC.
Thank you to NetGalley, A. R. Phillips Press LLC, and A. K. Herman for the ARC “How to Lose at Longing”.
I really really wanted to like this book more than I did. This is in no way a bad book, there were elements I loved and I do enjoy the concept of the book in general. The stories all touched on vulnerable emotions that are often not publicly spoken about, i.e. grief, uncertainty, fear, and of course longing. Each story was unique in its own way, but they all had a certain rawness to them.
However, at times I had a lot of trouble following along and staying interested. There were some minor inconsistencies in the writing style that contributed to the difficulties I sometimes faced in regards to the flow of the story.
Despite not being a fan of this book, I highly appreciate the awareness it brings to certain things such as discrimination.
As a final note, the title of this book was my favorite part.
The first thing that piqued my interest in this book was the title and cover. 'How to lose at longing' is a collection of short stories mainly focusing on different types of loss.
Personally, I did struggle slightly when first getting into some of the different stories mainly because some of the dialect and references used were unfamiliar to me (more of a me problem than the author)
My favourite story within the collection were the two about Jackie (The Rules and Dance). The two stories showcase how familial relationships can have such a lasting impact on not only a persons life, but also in how they form relationships, whether romantic or platonic, with others while navigating a life of so many new experiences.
Thank you to A.K. Herman, A. R. Phillips Press LLC and NetGalley for this free copy in exchange for an honest review.
How to Lose at Longing is a book of short stories containing ten stories:
How to Lose at Longing — 4/5 Small Castles — 4.5/5 Keepsakes — 4.5/5 Speedo — 5/5 The Rules — 5/5 Dance — 4/5 Rules, Ordinances and Understandings — 5/5 The Both — 4.5/5 Up, Down — 4/5 Afterword — 4.5/5
Overall, it was a very quick and lovely read. This is my first NetGalley ARC, so I read it right the way through. It took me three hours to read it. I normally don’t read short stories, but I wanted to explore different genres. I would recommend this to anyone who wants to start reading short stories. They are easy, fast-paced, and full of depth. They explore longing, human ache, and real-life situations.
I also really liked the changes between second- and first-person narration throughout the stories, as it kept things interesting. However, I feel this is important for readers to take into account, as some people don’t like first-person narration, while others don’t like second-person narration.
This was a collection of short stories where the author tries to convey the head versus heart debate within different forms of longing, grief and tragedy, Overall I did take this book slow and chip away story but story, so I wasn't overwhelmed with what may or may not come.
Some stories hit me hard, some didn't hit me at all. I think this would have been more interesting as a non-fiction with small story examples of the different types of longing/grief/trauma.
I couldn't fully get behind the writing style for some of the stories - I do see the why behind it and can understand why it was chosen. It felt like (in these stories) that there was a disconnect between the reader and the author as we try to pick through.
I don't have anything negative to say about the book, but I don't think it'll be one that will stick out down the road. While it's fresh in my mind I'm definitely mention it in passing to my book group, but I don't know if it'll be there as a long term recommendation.
An interesting collection of short stories covering some really important themes around love, identity, migration and cultural expectations.
I particularly liked the themes explored in Small Castles, The Rules and Up, Down. The experiences of migration and starting over in a new country are always important stories to tell. I also think The Rules raises a really good point about how much emphasis society places on getting married, rather than whether the marriage itself is actually a happy one.
I found the historical aspect of Up, Down particularly interesting and educational. We tend to learn more about British colonialism, so reading about Spanish colonial oppression and the experiences of Indigenous Caribbean people offered a different perspective.
I did struggle with the writing style at times, particularly the lack of quotation marks around dialogue, which made some parts difficult to follow.
Overall, an interesting collection with some important themes.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
How To Lose At Longing by A K Herman, these stories all had to do with relationships my two favorite stories were the one about the guy who had a shrine to his lover who had to go back home and care for his wife but I also liked the one where The army officer started seeing a girl from one of the local bars and he starts to forget everything including reporting for duty. All the stories were very entertaining I really can’t say I didn’t enjoy one of them because I really enjoyed all of them I find the author has a great knack For creating interesting characters as well as different personality types not all authors are good at that but I find Mr. Herman or Miss Herman is. This was a great book and one I definitely recommend it is full of short stories mainly written about Caribbean people some live in the states some live in Trinidad, it Ghana But what they all have in common is their humanity and I loved it. #NetGalley, #TheBlindReviewer, #MyHonestReview,
This collection didn’t quite work for me overall, although there were some moments that resonated. I’m not usually drawn to short stories, but the title caught my attention and felt full of promise. The themes are wide ranging; longing, relationships, love, religion, the supernatural, law elements, and there’s a distinct Caribbean influence running through the collection. Some of the stories are loosely connected, which added an interesting layer.
However, I found it difficult to fully connect with many of the stories. A few stood out more than others, particularly Keepsake and Small Castles. As a whole, though, the collection didn’t quite come together for me.
That said, it’s certainly a distinctive and unusual collection, and not what I was expecting, and may appeal to readers looking for something different, just not for me. Thank you to NetGalley for the free ARC.
This was a really poignant collection of short stories. The central themes of loss were explored in really thought provoking ways even though all the stories didn't hit for me. My favorite stories were definitely the titular 'How to Lose at Longing', and 'Speedo'. Along with the central theme of longing, there's a caribbean aspect to most of these stories. A lot of stories dealt with immigration, and didn't shy away from difficult topics. The characters in most of the stories felt real, and i empathized with the impossible positions many of them were put in. I do feel like I didn't fully understand some of the stories, particularly the last story was a pretty unexpected shift that I still don't fully get. Overall, this collection gave me a lot to think about.
Thanks to Netgalley and A. R. Phillips Press for the advanced copy!
This is my first time reading Herman’s work and I truly enjoy her writing style. This is also my first time reading stories with Caribbean influences and references in them, so it was a fun experience that made me want to learn more. Personally, I always liked reading short story collections, so this book works very well for me.
Some stories stood out for me, especially Small Castles, Keepsake, and Jackie’s story (The Rules and Dance). Even with my lack of knowledge about the culture and references (I’m not from the US, nor the Caribbean), I can still feel connected to the stories and the characters, which I think speaks a lot about this book. While I do find it harder to immerse myself in the last story in this work (Up, Down), I still had a great time reading How to Lose at Longing.
Thank you NetGalley and A.R Phillips Press LLC for the ARC!
This was an intriguing collection of short stories about longing, loss, desire, love, and the complicated ways people deal with the things they cannot—or perhaps should not—have.
My favourites were definitely Small Castles, Speedo, The Rules, Dance, and The Both. I enjoyed how different each story felt while still connecting back to the central theme of longing. Some of the stories also incorporated Caribbean influences and speculative elements, which gave the collection an interesting and distinctive atmosphere.
Not every story worked equally well for me, and there were a couple that left me wanting a little more clarity, but the stronger stories really stayed with me.
Overall, a thought-provoking collection with some beautifully written and memorable moments. 4 stars! ⭐⭐⭐⭐
Thank you to NetGalley and A.R. Phillips Press for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Interesting short stories, based mainly in New York City, featuring immigrants and their lives.
I just found most of the stories wanting but I did appreciate the awareness the stories brought of the issues they faced.
The one that resonated most was the first story though; of Euni and her role as a nanny. Her employers were wealthy white people with brats for children, the woman of the pair was horrible and snobby, paying low wages, reluctant to support Euni’s labour card that she needed. I’d recently seen ‘The Help’ and I could just see what it was like.
Thanks to NetGalley and A.R Phillips Press LLC for this ARC.
"How to Lose at Longing" by A. K. Herman is a touching collection of short stories about loss, longing, immigration, and identity. The Caribbean background adds something special to the stories, and many of the characters feel real and easy to connect with. While a few stories were difficult to understand and did not connect with me as much, the collection still gave me a lot to think about. Overall, it is a thoughtful and emotional book that stays with you after you finish reading. This happens to be my first book from Carribean writer and culture.
Thanks to Netgalley and A. R. Phillips Press for the advanced copy!
I was lucky enough to find an advanced copy of this collection on Netgalley. Thanks to A. K. Herman and for making it available. This collection of slice of life short stories all capturing various vignette' of the Caribbean experience in America.
The characters are written beautifully with brilliant symbolism. Nary a happy ending between them so be prepared to shed a tear. I did find it difficult to parse some of the dialect but it was fitting to the story and the more complex words were provided in a glossary.
This is my second collection by Herman and I enjoyed the stories for the most part as they explored themes and experiences that are very familiar to me being for the Caribbean.
The ways in which she wrote the relationships whether queer or not is very representative of a lot of relationships in the Caribbean.
The perceptions of manhood, how to get and keep a man, imbalance in romantic relationships, and the historical call back to the indigenous peoples of the region were all found within these stories.
Thank you to A.R Phillips Press and Netgalley for the e-arc!
This let me down. After enjoying her first collection I thought this would go the same way but it didn't have the magic that the first one did. The stories were too long, there wasn't much diversity in content even though the characters and setting changed and all of them were sad, I would have appreciated a reprieve every now and then but I know it was the intention from reading the author note. I just didn't like the process of reading this much. A collection that should have taken me a week took a month to finish.
It's an incredibly thought provoking read, emotive and powerful with the exploration of a wide range of impactful topics. The approach and style of writing isn't quite there for me though, and I think that just stems from me perhaps not being the 'right' audience.
How to Lose at Longing ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Small Castles ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Keepsake ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Speedo ⭐️⭐️⭐️ The Rules ⭐️⭐️ Dance ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Rules, Ordinances and Understandings ⭐️⭐️ The Both ⭐️⭐️ Up, Down ⭐️⭐️
3.5/5 I really wanted to love this book, and in many ways I did. A few of the stories were harder for me to follow, and I found it difficult to connect with them personally. That said, I truly believe books like this give us a chance to experience and understand other cultures, and that alone made it worth reading. The stories that stayed with me most were Small Castles, The Rules, and The Keepsake. Overall, a wonderful collection, even if not every story landed for me.
I love to read books that have anthology feel to it so this was right up my alley. Each chapter told a story of an immigrant and their experiences. I felt nostalgic for most of the book since a lot of the stories took place in New York City. The stories were easy to follow as well.
How to Lose at Longing by AK Herman is a collection of short but mostly forgettable stories. I think the only story that stood out for me was the first one, which just so happened to be the book title too.
Many thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for the eARC.
This is an interesting collection of short stories. I always appreciate the opportunity to read books that give me new insights into other people's lives, cultures and experiences which this book did. Thanks #NetGalley
A collection of stories exploring the raw emotion of longing, across many different scenarios. Beautifully written to encourage the reader to think this through.
this book was very much different from ones i typically read, and i enjoyed it fully! it is composed of a series of stories following various individuals as they navigate grief, love, and emotional yearning. reading each story allowed to learn more about those who are not from the same background as me, and seeing how lives such as theirs are like.
there is a lot of carribean influence, which gave more perspective to the experiences of the characters in the book which i appreciated a lot, as someone who wants to read more books of different cultures :) it gave context in the ways the characters carried themselves, the actions they took, along with how language is developed within an individual’s upbringing. i felt the emotion the characters went through, which gave me a lot to think about after each story.
i recommend to anyone who wants to get into short stories and read about situations that happen in real life!
Thanks to Netgalley for this arc :) Personally, I think this book took a huge leap into diversity. Every story was unique in it's own special way, whether good or bad. The author wasn't afraid to explore many different situations and cultures in this book. This might be a bit controversial, but I didn't like how the different dialects were phrased in the story. The detached words and phrases gave me a tough time reading. I know it was supposed to represent the accents and speech that the characters have, but it made the story hard to understand at times. Just this kinda dropped one star for me. There is a central theme of strong emotions, in any shape or form, in all of the short stories. Because of this, I found all of them very moving and raw. These emotions were expressed in a thoughtful way, and made you really think about different things. How to Lose at Longing really ventured across the plains of opinions, and each story held a memorable message. My favourite stores were Keepsake and The Rules. I'd recommend to people who love a new take on things, or if you just want to experience something new on pages.