30 Days of Sex Talks for Ages 8-11: Empowering Your Child with Knowledge of Sexual Intimacy

by Dina Alexander

Talking to your kids about healthy sexuality (the birds and the bees, sex education, “the talk,” etc.) doesn’t have to be awkward! It can be very empowering for you and your kids. Written by parents and professionals, 30 Days of Sex Talks makes it so easy for parents to talk to their children about intimacy and healthy sexuality, as well as address dangerous and misleading messages from media and various online sources (such as pornography). To help you, we’ve broken down the “the talk” into 30 simple lessons for discussion puberty, curiosity, self-worth, gender roles, body image, media literacy, instincts that keep you safe, sexual identification, and intimate relationships, and much more. These topics can be used to start important dialogue with your child while allowing you to interject your feelings, thoughts, and cultural beliefs. And more importantly, you and your child can talk about sex in the context in which it belongs; as part of a healthy relationship that also includes joy, laughter and the full range of emotion that defines human intimacy. This book also contains handy, downloadable, bonus content! Included with this book is a code that will allow you to download topic cards which can be printed and placed in strategic locations, such as a mirror, refrigerator or in your pocket, to remind you and your child to start talking! Remember that having these talks with your child will establish a pattern of healthy conversations for the future. As you move through the discussions, you will feel your confidence grow and these interactions will gain depth and your relationship will strengthen. Your goal is that your child will feel comfortable talking to you about anything as he or she grows into the healthy, knowledgeable person he or she will become. Try out the “Look Inside” section to see how simple and effective these talks can be for you and your family. And be sure to check out the other guides from Educate and Empower Kids, How to Talk to Your Kids About Pornography and 30 Days of Sex Talks for Ages 3-7 and 12+ . Find free lessons and downloadable ebooks on our website educateempowerkids.org

Genres: Parenting

104 pages, Paperback

First published January 20, 2015

About the author

Dina Alexander is the founder of Educate and Empower Kids (educateempowerkids.org), an organization determined to strengthen families by teaching digital citizenship, media literacy, and healthy sexuality education—including education about the dangers of online porn.

She is the creator of How to Talk to Your Kids About Pornography and the 30 Days of Sex Talks and 30 Days to a Stronger Child programs. She is also the author of Noah’s New Phone: A Story About Using Technology for Good and Petra’s Power to See: A Media Literacy Adventure. Dina also co-wrote Messages about Me, Sydney's Story: A Journey to Healthy Body Image and Messages about Me, Wade's Story

Most recently she has published Chloe has a Question, a Very Important Question and This is the Spirit of Revelation for Latter-day Saint children and their families and Conversations with My Kids, 30 Essential Family Discussions for the Digital Age.

She received her master’s degree in recreation therapy from the University of Utah and her bachelors from Brigham Young University. She loves being a mom and spending time with her husband and three kids. Together, they live in New Mexico.

Reviews

[A · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really wanted to love this book. But there are a couple troubling spots, such as the chapter on monogamy (relationship diversity is a part of sexuality) and the mention of addiction under their masturbation chapter 🤯 I checked and it appears the authors are NOT AASECT certified sexuality educators/counselors/therapists and it shows a bit. Overall good attempt but this won’t be the book I recommend to clients & friends for sex-positive parenting and sexuality education.

[Make Your Move! Missoula · Rating 4 out of 5]

Both editions of this book (ages 3-7 and 8-11) are easy to read and provide good jumping off points for parents looking to talk to their kids about sexual intimacy. They demonstrate that caregivers can have important conversations with their children in an age appropriate way that does not rid kids of their innocence. The authors highlight important values that are useful for creating healthy relationships of all types: respect, understanding different types of love and affection, and gender roles.

However, there are a few limitations. These two editions do not address being transgender or intersex. The mechanics of sex is defined as penis-in-vagina intercourse, rather than a wide variety of intimate and sexual touch that allows for various expression. This is surprisingly limited, given that one "talk" discusses differences in sexual orientation. When discussing pornography, the authors are decidedly anti-use. Though an appropriate response for this age group, we worry that the prescriptive nature of this conversation may limit more nuanced ones in the future.

Finally, behaviors are focused on resisting harm rather than not harming others. It is certainly important to learn how to firmly say "no," and how to ask for help from a trusted adult. There are even moments in these books where parents are meant to remind their child that just as their response should be respected, they need to accept the boundaries of their peers and friends. But there is no conversation about not being coercive (not bullying), not asking peers for sexually explicit photos, etc. If parents had conversations about not harming others - in addition to these conversations about what to do once harm has occurred - society would make huge waves in preventing sexual violence.

[Ashlynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVE this book because it makes being a parent & tackling the tougher subjects so much easier. It doesn't put fear or religious backing into sexual integrity. It explains all areas of healthy sexuality, relationships, emotional intelligence & more. We actually didn't do it in 30 days - we found that if we kept the book in our car (girls are 11 & 9) we could have open conversations anytime we were driving. No eye contact & moving in the car helped them feel safe enough to respond to the question prompts & continue the conversations. We now have the next book to keep that discussion open & on-going.

[Haley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has some wonderful and informative information regarding ways to approach your child when it comes to difficult subjects like sex and pornography. The terms are simple, the lessons are easy to follow and the books are solidly based in research! Also the illustrations are awesome!

One of the best parts of these books are the resources that it gives you. If you just need a little bit of a polishing up on your anatomy terms or really aren't sure how or when to talk to your kids about pornography, (or anything, really) give these books a go. Excellent resource.

[Sanz · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is a guide for parents with children ages 8-11. I think this book definitely has useful information, however, I don't see our family addressing some of these topics till the 11+ age range. I can't see talking to my 9 year old about a lot of this content, but it did give me things to consider for later on.

Book #42 of 52 in 2015

[Berthony Theodor · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is important for parents to raise their kids. I read it. It is easy to read. The principles therein are easy to teach to and be understood by children. Parents will make the greatest choice using this tool.

[Torey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great bullet point for conversation starters!

[Rachel Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book. Jake and I have been working through it with Eli. We’ve been working through the one for 3-7 year olds with Ezra. Both are great.