Love. Loss. Life.: And All That Stuff in Between

by Monica Nicolson Oosterbroek Hilton-Barber Zwolsman

In just a decade, journalist Monica Nicolson Oosterbroek Hilton-Barber Zwolsman married and lost both her beloved husbands, award-winning photographers Ken Oosterbroek and Steven Hilton-Barber, as well as her precious 16-month-old son, Benjamin. Most people would have collapsed under the weight of such tragic devastation. But Monica, a survivor of note, now finally tells the story of her roller-coaster ride of a life, in Love. Loss. Life. In 2004, within weeks of losing her precious baby boy, and with the loss of her two husbands barely behind her, Monica finally ends up in Australia, desperate to obliterate the pain of death and start a new life. This poignantly honest tale is a story of deep passion, crushing letdowns, new beginnings, huge humor, and the renewal of hope. It is also a book filled with penetrating insights into a South Africa in the 1990s, in political transition. It sees Monica hurtling through war zones of Africa with the men in her life—Mozambique, Zimbabwe, Uganda, and Egypt—to Britain, Europe, and America, delightfully written in a travelogue style.

200 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2014

Reviews

[Sheridan · Rating 3 out of 5]

In the beginning I disliked this girl more than I have disliked any character ever. She was self obsessed, selfish, over-dramatic, spoiled, and just the most offensive person. As she went through substance abuse problems, being widowed twice, losing a child, and getting divorced, and seemed to give herself a bit of time to breathe, and think, I started identifying with lots of what she was saying - about Australia and Australians, about being away from SA, and damn it if I didn't soften up to her a little. Ultimately this is just a biography, and I'm not sure that there is much of a deep message in it, but it IS quite encouraging to see how someone can come through so many changes and traumas, and still be alive and mostly sane. I'm not at all sure that I could, and that makes me respect her - grudgingly.

[Jude · Rating 3 out of 5]

A story about how one woman copes with multiple tragedies in her life, and emerges stronger and wiser (but no less heartbroken). I found this book fascinating. Monica Nicolson writes about herself with an honesty and openness that makes her story even more poignant. It's especially interesting if you know something about the background or lived through the 1990s in Johannesburg. I liked, too, how the story intersects with that of her sister-in-law, Bridget Hilton-Barber, who has written about her own life in South Africa.

[Caroline Hurry · Rating 5 out of 5]

The way author Monica Nicolson Oosterbroek Hilton-Barber Zwolsman (quite a name!) did not spare herself in the retelling of the tragedies that helped shape her life felt quite gut-wrenching to me. Loved the honesty of the writing and I found I could relate to so much. Ironically I bought this book way back in around 2015. It sat on my shelf for some years and I only got around to reading it in the last week. I am so glad I did!

[Lynn · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you think you have problems, read this book. Written with such honesty and tenderness, Monica really bares her soul. I think anyone who's had any kind of low in their life could connect with her. Once again, I am amazed at what us humans can get through. Great read.

[Alison Smith · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dramatic story of ex- South African journo's tragedy-haunted life. See http://thebooksmithblog.wordpress.com for more.