Destiny Is Debatable: A Memoir of Meningitis, Losing Sight, and the Love I Didn’t See Coming

by John B. Grimes

“Survival isn’t the end of the journey—it's just the beginning.”

Nineteen-year-old John B. Grimes went to bed with what felt like the flu and woke up in a world he could no longer see. After eight days in a coma, he came back to a body altered by bacterial profound vision loss, neurological damage, and a future that no longer matched the script he had in mind.
Destiny Is Debatable follows John from that hospital room through the long, unglamorous work of rebuilding a life in the dark. Along the way are white-knuckle returns to college, catheter mishaps, awkward first dates, and the slow realization that disability is both visible and invisible, reshaping everything from masculinity to friendship to faith. What begins as a near-death survival story widens into something a family epic and a love story, as John meets Erin, marries, and steps into a fatherhood he was told might never be possible.
Told with disarming honesty, dry humor, and a steady undercurrent of hope, this memoir does not offer miracle cures or tidy inspiration. Instead, it offers something harder and more a candid look at illness and recovery, and what it means to keep showing up when the big miracle is over and the small, daily choices are all that remain.
If Between Two Kingdoms and There I Am asked what comes after survival, Destiny Is Debatable explores what it takes to keep choosing life when the story is no longer simple.

388 pages, Paperback

Published February 7, 2026

About the author

John B. Grimes is an author, speaker, meningitis survivor, advocate, and nonprofit leader whose work explores what happens after life refuses to follow the plan. At nineteen, he survived bacterial meningitis after eight days in a coma and woke to profound vision loss and neurological complications. Rebuilding his life became the foundation for his memoir, Destiny Is Debatable, and for his work exploring resilience, disability, purpose, and reinvention. John is host and producer of the Destiny Is Debatable Podcast and Executive Director & Co-Founder of Shots 4 Meningitis. Across his writing, speaking, podcasting, and advocacy, he explores what happens after life refuses to follow the plan—and what we choose to do next.

Reviews

[Julie Vaughan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was lucky enough to get an advanced reader copy and didn't want to put it down. John shares his story of surviving meningitis and learning to live with the challenges it left behind. As someone who lives with a chronic illness, I am always interested in learning how others approach the changes in their life. I especially appreciate when someone shares the good and the bad - there is grief to be had in life and it can be ignored, or recognized for the role it can play in making us who we are today.

[Nicole Barron · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honest, deeply vulnerable…appreciate his openness. Great memoir.

[Paige Young · Rating 5 out of 5]

Refreshingly honest

I really enjoyed reading this book. John brought so much emotion and honesty and vulnerability to writing about his experience with bacterial meningitis. This book is written in a manner which is very easy to read and quite fast-paced. His words and experience remind us that when something bad happens, it's our opportunity to overcome and truly embrace life again.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Uplifting!

Love your spirit, John!