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Becoming My Own F-ing Soulmate: A Novel About Surviving Yourself
“Smart, raw, and irresistibly candid.”
—Emily Giffin, New York Times Best-Selling Author of Something Borrowed
A darkly hilarious novel about toxic relationship recovery, emotional sobriety, and becoming your own soulmate.
Roxie thought hitting bottom was the worst day of her life.
Turns out, the real nightmare starts when the chaos stops—because now she has to deal with the one person she’s been avoiding for herself.
She survived the chaos. Now she has to survive herself.
In Becoming My Own F-ing Soulmate, Roxie is learning to live without the toxic relationships that once functioned like emotional caffeine. No more disaster men. No more intensity disguised as chemistry. Now it’s just her, the quiet, and her recovery CoolGirl fighting charm addiction, GlamGirl rebuilding a life she torched twice, TattooGirl hanging on by a thread, Alice insisting she’s “fine,” and Dr. Kath dismantling denial one uncomfortable truth at a time.
With no drama left to hide behind, every unresolved wound comes roaring to the surface. Dating turns into a full-contact sport of ghosters, love-bombers, self-proclaimed spiritual gurus, and one man who brings his emotional support tarot deck. And when “Mr. Handsome” arrives—stable, grounded, and emotionally available—Roxie spirals into the most uncomfortable territory of real intimacy.
She’s the one she keeps abandoning.
Darkly hilarious, brutally honest, and painfully real, Becoming My Own F-ing Soulmate is a novel about surviving your own patterns, letting people see you as you are, and choosing yourself—even when it feels wildly unfamiliar.
—Emily Giffin, New York Times Best-Selling Author of Something Borrowed
A darkly hilarious novel about toxic relationship recovery, emotional sobriety, and becoming your own soulmate.
Roxie thought hitting bottom was the worst day of her life.
Turns out, the real nightmare starts when the chaos stops—because now she has to deal with the one person she’s been avoiding for herself.
She survived the chaos. Now she has to survive herself.
In Becoming My Own F-ing Soulmate, Roxie is learning to live without the toxic relationships that once functioned like emotional caffeine. No more disaster men. No more intensity disguised as chemistry. Now it’s just her, the quiet, and her recovery CoolGirl fighting charm addiction, GlamGirl rebuilding a life she torched twice, TattooGirl hanging on by a thread, Alice insisting she’s “fine,” and Dr. Kath dismantling denial one uncomfortable truth at a time.
With no drama left to hide behind, every unresolved wound comes roaring to the surface. Dating turns into a full-contact sport of ghosters, love-bombers, self-proclaimed spiritual gurus, and one man who brings his emotional support tarot deck. And when “Mr. Handsome” arrives—stable, grounded, and emotionally available—Roxie spirals into the most uncomfortable territory of real intimacy.
She’s the one she keeps abandoning.
Darkly hilarious, brutally honest, and painfully real, Becoming My Own F-ing Soulmate is a novel about surviving your own patterns, letting people see you as you are, and choosing yourself—even when it feels wildly unfamiliar.
340 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 13, 2026
6 people are currently reading
974 people want to read
About the author
Brianne Davis
3 books67 followersBrianne Davis is a relationship and trauma specialist, author, speaker, podcast host, wife, mom—and unapologetic truth-teller. With over sixteen years of recovery from sex and love addiction, she is known for her work on breaking toxic cycles, healing attachment wounds, and dismantling the shame that blocks real intimacy.
She hosts the top-rated Secret Life Podcast, featuring raw conversations about addiction, relationships, mental health, and transformation. Her debut book, Secret Life of a Hollywood Sex & Love Addict, resonated widely for its fierce honesty and dark humor. Brianne also has a career in film and television, appearing in Jarhead, Prom Night, Lucifer, and Six. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband Mark, their son Davis, and her dog Stella.
She hosts the top-rated Secret Life Podcast, featuring raw conversations about addiction, relationships, mental health, and transformation. Her debut book, Secret Life of a Hollywood Sex & Love Addict, resonated widely for its fierce honesty and dark humor. Brianne also has a career in film and television, appearing in Jarhead, Prom Night, Lucifer, and Six. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband Mark, their son Davis, and her dog Stella.
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
February 9, 2026
Becoming My Own F-ing Soulmate by Brianne Davis. Thanks to the author for the gifted copy ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Roxie is fixing herself after surviving her love and sex addiction by starting to date. Dating these days is a drama though, especially with unresolved wounds.
I enjoyed this one just as much as Brianne’s first book; maybe even more! We have the same character, Roxie, so of course we get the same wry humor and no holding back personality. It is funny and you’ll laugh your way through, while also taking away some key emotional points and character growth as well. If you haven’t read Secret Life of a Hollywood Sex & Love Addict, that’s okay! This can definitely be read as a standalone. It’s first person narration and she fills you in on the important parts of the past as you go.
“Either you meet yourself in the mirror or the mirror will break you - it’s dealer’s choice. Choose wisely, my friend.”
Read this if you like:
-First person narration
-Contemporary and online dating tropes
-Self-help as fiction
-Funny and sarcastic humor
Becoming My Own F-ing Soulmate comes out 2/13.
Roxie is fixing herself after surviving her love and sex addiction by starting to date. Dating these days is a drama though, especially with unresolved wounds.
I enjoyed this one just as much as Brianne’s first book; maybe even more! We have the same character, Roxie, so of course we get the same wry humor and no holding back personality. It is funny and you’ll laugh your way through, while also taking away some key emotional points and character growth as well. If you haven’t read Secret Life of a Hollywood Sex & Love Addict, that’s okay! This can definitely be read as a standalone. It’s first person narration and she fills you in on the important parts of the past as you go.
“Either you meet yourself in the mirror or the mirror will break you - it’s dealer’s choice. Choose wisely, my friend.”
Read this if you like:
-First person narration
-Contemporary and online dating tropes
-Self-help as fiction
-Funny and sarcastic humor
Becoming My Own F-ing Soulmate comes out 2/13.
Review of advance copy received from Author
The one thing I absolutely love about Brianne's books is how she does the storytelling. She somehow manages to make a self-help book read like if it was a fiction, all while exposing all the hard truths behind recovery in a raw and vulnerable way.
This is a follow-up novel to Brianne's Secret Life of a Hollywood Sex and Love Addict. Roxie has been in recovery from her sex and love addiction. Roxie tries to put herself back out there, learning that dating in the Hollywood scene is hard, and making mistakes along the way. Throughout her journey, she uses her recovery to not only help out others suffering from this same addiction, but also to help herself by learning how to love and show up for ourselves first before being able to love others.
While this is technically a follow-up to the first novel, you do not have to read it first, as she does provide a quick summary of what happened in the first book throughout the book. Roxie shows incredible character growth throughout the book, as she tries to figure out how to move through the world with intention and opening herself up to real love and care from those who genuinely want what's best for her while cutting out those who only brought drama and toxicity into her life. Roxie talks directly to the reader while she narrates all her frustrations with staying sober and being vulnerable while exposing when she made mistakes. This story was truly one of learning how to choose yourself first, it reads like you're having an honest conversation with a close friend, and it shows the incredible strength and hard word it takes to overcome some of our demons and not being so harsh on ourselves when we stumble along the way. Thank you so much to the author for providing me with a copy of this eARC.
This is a follow-up novel to Brianne's Secret Life of a Hollywood Sex and Love Addict. Roxie has been in recovery from her sex and love addiction. Roxie tries to put herself back out there, learning that dating in the Hollywood scene is hard, and making mistakes along the way. Throughout her journey, she uses her recovery to not only help out others suffering from this same addiction, but also to help herself by learning how to love and show up for ourselves first before being able to love others.
While this is technically a follow-up to the first novel, you do not have to read it first, as she does provide a quick summary of what happened in the first book throughout the book. Roxie shows incredible character growth throughout the book, as she tries to figure out how to move through the world with intention and opening herself up to real love and care from those who genuinely want what's best for her while cutting out those who only brought drama and toxicity into her life. Roxie talks directly to the reader while she narrates all her frustrations with staying sober and being vulnerable while exposing when she made mistakes. This story was truly one of learning how to choose yourself first, it reads like you're having an honest conversation with a close friend, and it shows the incredible strength and hard word it takes to overcome some of our demons and not being so harsh on ourselves when we stumble along the way. Thank you so much to the author for providing me with a copy of this eARC.
February 22, 2026
📜Becoming My Own F-ing Soulmate
✍️Brianne Davis
📚Women’s Fiction
🗓️Pub date: February 13, 2026 (out now)
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Thank you @thebriannedavis for providing me with a signed Advanced Reader Copy of this #gifted book. All opinions are mine alone.
From the publisher:
In Becoming My Own F-ing Soulmate, Roxie is learning to live without the toxic relationships that once functioned like emotional caffeine. No more disaster men. No more intensity disguised as chemistry. Now it’s just her, the quiet, and her recovery tribe: CoolGirl fighting charm addiction, GlamGirl rebuilding a life she torched twice, TattooGirl hanging on by a thread, Alice insisting she’s “fine,” and Dr. Kath dismantling denial one uncomfortable truth at a time.
With no drama left to hide behind, every unresolved wound comes roaring to the surface. Dating turns into a full-contact sport of ghosters, love-bombers, self-proclaimed spiritual gurus, and one man who brings his emotional support tarot deck. And when “Mr. Handsome” arrives—stable, grounded, and emotionally available—Roxie spirals into the most uncomfortable territory of all: real intimacy.
Thoughts:
This is such a raw and real outlook of self-destruction, dating, love, and relationships, particularly the one you have with yourself.
Anyone who has tried modern-day dating, especially in their 30s and beyond, the dating pool gets smaller and smaller and definitely has pee in it. And if you’ve ever tried online dating, it only gets worse.
There is a daring amount of self-reflection in a lot of this, points that really makes you stop and think, and will have you nodding along. Chapter 2 heading clarifies it perfectly: “Believe people when they show you who they are.” Truer words have never been written.
Told with a fun, hysterical narrative, I applaud Brianne for the clever way she brought this to life, and dissects the psychology of addiction and toxicity.
A powerful message that all comes down to loving yourself first.
Thank you @thebriannedavis for reaching out and sharing your new book with me!
✍️Brianne Davis
📚Women’s Fiction
🗓️Pub date: February 13, 2026 (out now)
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Thank you @thebriannedavis for providing me with a signed Advanced Reader Copy of this #gifted book. All opinions are mine alone.
From the publisher:
In Becoming My Own F-ing Soulmate, Roxie is learning to live without the toxic relationships that once functioned like emotional caffeine. No more disaster men. No more intensity disguised as chemistry. Now it’s just her, the quiet, and her recovery tribe: CoolGirl fighting charm addiction, GlamGirl rebuilding a life she torched twice, TattooGirl hanging on by a thread, Alice insisting she’s “fine,” and Dr. Kath dismantling denial one uncomfortable truth at a time.
With no drama left to hide behind, every unresolved wound comes roaring to the surface. Dating turns into a full-contact sport of ghosters, love-bombers, self-proclaimed spiritual gurus, and one man who brings his emotional support tarot deck. And when “Mr. Handsome” arrives—stable, grounded, and emotionally available—Roxie spirals into the most uncomfortable territory of all: real intimacy.
Thoughts:
This is such a raw and real outlook of self-destruction, dating, love, and relationships, particularly the one you have with yourself.
Anyone who has tried modern-day dating, especially in their 30s and beyond, the dating pool gets smaller and smaller and definitely has pee in it. And if you’ve ever tried online dating, it only gets worse.
There is a daring amount of self-reflection in a lot of this, points that really makes you stop and think, and will have you nodding along. Chapter 2 heading clarifies it perfectly: “Believe people when they show you who they are.” Truer words have never been written.
Told with a fun, hysterical narrative, I applaud Brianne for the clever way she brought this to life, and dissects the psychology of addiction and toxicity.
A powerful message that all comes down to loving yourself first.
Thank you @thebriannedavis for reaching out and sharing your new book with me!
February 15, 2026
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
This book is brilliant. It is another masterpiece by Brianne Davis that immediately captivates the reader, grabbing them along for a wild, wild ride! As a continuation to the first novel, “Secret Life of a Hollywood Sex and Love Addict,” jumping right in is like reuniting with an old friend who has an abundance of juicy, spicy, salty stories to tell. Our lead, Roxanne, speaks to the reader in a totally relatable and shoulder shaking way. Every page is a wake up call to live life to the fullest and best of your ability. She brings the reader to dive right into the details of the nitty gritty with her and never once leaves us hanging.
“Becoming My Own F-ing Soulmate” is soul stirring. The deeply truthful and candid nature of the events are painted in such dazzling color and light. It brings the reader to really think about all varieties of love and relationships. The stories within are not only real and raw, but they bring along a much needed sense of humor and lighter way of viewing the darkness, giving the readers HOPE, not only for the characters within the pages, but for ourselves and the other humans around us on this planet.
Reading this novel is an adventure through a theme park of exuberant rollercoasters, in and out of vibrant flashing lights, with thrilling twists and turns. Read it. You won’t be disappointed. And make sure you read the first novel as well; the good thing is, you can backtrack and read the first novel second to catch up. Either way, you’re getting an excellent story. And maybe even some pertinent life lessons! Thank you, Brianne Davis! Looking forward to the next! 💗
This book is brilliant. It is another masterpiece by Brianne Davis that immediately captivates the reader, grabbing them along for a wild, wild ride! As a continuation to the first novel, “Secret Life of a Hollywood Sex and Love Addict,” jumping right in is like reuniting with an old friend who has an abundance of juicy, spicy, salty stories to tell. Our lead, Roxanne, speaks to the reader in a totally relatable and shoulder shaking way. Every page is a wake up call to live life to the fullest and best of your ability. She brings the reader to dive right into the details of the nitty gritty with her and never once leaves us hanging.
“Becoming My Own F-ing Soulmate” is soul stirring. The deeply truthful and candid nature of the events are painted in such dazzling color and light. It brings the reader to really think about all varieties of love and relationships. The stories within are not only real and raw, but they bring along a much needed sense of humor and lighter way of viewing the darkness, giving the readers HOPE, not only for the characters within the pages, but for ourselves and the other humans around us on this planet.
Reading this novel is an adventure through a theme park of exuberant rollercoasters, in and out of vibrant flashing lights, with thrilling twists and turns. Read it. You won’t be disappointed. And make sure you read the first novel as well; the good thing is, you can backtrack and read the first novel second to catch up. Either way, you’re getting an excellent story. And maybe even some pertinent life lessons! Thank you, Brianne Davis! Looking forward to the next! 💗
Review of advance copy received from Author
Some books feel like stories and some feel like someone sitting across from you sharing their life. Becoming My Own F‑ing Soulmate falls into that second category. I read Davis’s first novel Secret Life of a Hollywood Sex and Love Addict back in 2021 and was surprised by how engrossed I became in a world far outside my own experience. The second book continues Roxanne’s journey, but this time the focus is on sober dating and what it means to rebuild your life with intention.
What stands out most is how directly Roxanne speaks to the reader. It feels personal, almost like she is talking only to you as she works through her frustrations, her victories, and the daily effort of staying grounded. She shares her thoughts with such vulnerability that it becomes easy to root for her as she continues to build a healthier life, and that brutal honesty is what gives the book its power.
I am not a mental health professional, but I can see how this story could offer comfort or guidance to anyone navigating their own struggles. The themes of self-awareness, honesty, respect, and letting go of negativity are woven through every chapter and truly feel universally helpful.
This really does read like a therapy session in novel form, and I enjoyed following Roxanne as she continues to grow and control her addiction. I genuinely recommend this one, especially if you like stories about healing and self-discovery. With a third book in development, I’m eager to see how Roxanne’s journey continues to unfold.
Huge thanks to Brianne Davis for the eARC, which I have reviewed honestly and voluntarily.
What stands out most is how directly Roxanne speaks to the reader. It feels personal, almost like she is talking only to you as she works through her frustrations, her victories, and the daily effort of staying grounded. She shares her thoughts with such vulnerability that it becomes easy to root for her as she continues to build a healthier life, and that brutal honesty is what gives the book its power.
I am not a mental health professional, but I can see how this story could offer comfort or guidance to anyone navigating their own struggles. The themes of self-awareness, honesty, respect, and letting go of negativity are woven through every chapter and truly feel universally helpful.
This really does read like a therapy session in novel form, and I enjoyed following Roxanne as she continues to grow and control her addiction. I genuinely recommend this one, especially if you like stories about healing and self-discovery. With a third book in development, I’m eager to see how Roxanne’s journey continues to unfold.
Huge thanks to Brianne Davis for the eARC, which I have reviewed honestly and voluntarily.
March 10, 2026
Becoming My Own F-ing Soulmate is the companion novel to Secret Life of a Hollywood Sex & Love Addict. They can be read as standalones, but I suggest reading them both in order. Like the first book, this novel reads like a memoir because it's heavily based on the author's personal experiences. The audiobook is read by the author in the same first-person narrative style, which gives it a non-fiction feel.
Roxie's year in recovery was transformative, and she soon begins considering the daunting task of sober dating in Hollywood. While continuing to work the steps outlined in SLAA, sponsoring other sex and love addicts, and continuing her career, she's forced to confront herself in a way she never has before. Recovery isn't linear, and while she's been sober for over a year, she learns the hard way how delicate her sobriety is.
We're introduced to several other characters in this story who have their own journey with sex and love addiction. I thought it was a great way to emphasize how unique everyone's journey is and that true healing and recovery can only happen when you're ready to do the work.
Through raw vulnerability, humiliation, and unimaginable tragedy, Roxie proves that putting in the work to heal can completely change your life. Blunt, honest, and full of humor, this hopeful story proves that recovery is possible and can result in a life better than you could have imagined.
Big thank you to Brianne Davis for providing me with an audio copy of this book!
Roxie's year in recovery was transformative, and she soon begins considering the daunting task of sober dating in Hollywood. While continuing to work the steps outlined in SLAA, sponsoring other sex and love addicts, and continuing her career, she's forced to confront herself in a way she never has before. Recovery isn't linear, and while she's been sober for over a year, she learns the hard way how delicate her sobriety is.
We're introduced to several other characters in this story who have their own journey with sex and love addiction. I thought it was a great way to emphasize how unique everyone's journey is and that true healing and recovery can only happen when you're ready to do the work.
Through raw vulnerability, humiliation, and unimaginable tragedy, Roxie proves that putting in the work to heal can completely change your life. Blunt, honest, and full of humor, this hopeful story proves that recovery is possible and can result in a life better than you could have imagined.
Big thank you to Brianne Davis for providing me with an audio copy of this book!
Review of advance copy received from Author
Becoming My Own F-ing Soulmate: Surviving Yourself by Brianne Davis
I read the author first book Secret Life of a Hollywood Sex & Love Addict: A Seductively Wild Ride to Self-Love
And really was drawn into Roxie’s world. In this book we watch Roxie as she continues to go through life but now is sober this Is a raw, honest, and surprisingly funny look at what happens when you stop chasing toxic love and start facing yourself.
Through Roxie’s journey of recovery and self-discovery, Davis explores addiction, emotional sobriety, and learning how to be your own friend. Davis has a way of writing her books so that you feel like you’re sitting down and talking with each other. In this book I feel like Roxie is all about choosing yourself first and I feel so grateful to have been able to share that journey with her. I wish Roxie the best in life. I highly recommend reading Secret Life of a Hollywood Sex & Love Addict
First if you can
I read the author first book Secret Life of a Hollywood Sex & Love Addict: A Seductively Wild Ride to Self-Love
And really was drawn into Roxie’s world. In this book we watch Roxie as she continues to go through life but now is sober this Is a raw, honest, and surprisingly funny look at what happens when you stop chasing toxic love and start facing yourself.
Through Roxie’s journey of recovery and self-discovery, Davis explores addiction, emotional sobriety, and learning how to be your own friend. Davis has a way of writing her books so that you feel like you’re sitting down and talking with each other. In this book I feel like Roxie is all about choosing yourself first and I feel so grateful to have been able to share that journey with her. I wish Roxie the best in life. I highly recommend reading Secret Life of a Hollywood Sex & Love Addict
First if you can
Review of advance copy received from Author
From the author of The Secret Life Of A Sex & Love Addict comes the next step in navigating healthy dating.
The author rips off the band-aid in this raw, emotional, funny read, keeping us entertained while shedding light on an addiction that isn't discussed enough.
The whole time I was reading the book, I was completely captivated and sucked into this world. I felt like I was having a lunch date with a close friend. Roxanne takes us on a journey of self-discovery and does not shy away from any details.
This book completely blew my mind, challenging my self-discovery and helping me let go of negative thoughts! I absolutely love it when a book pushes my thinking to new heights.
As I always stated, a person is an addict who is an addict; it's the journey of self-awareness, the causes and healing, while being brutally honest. This is a must-read book.
Thank you to Brianne Davis for gifting me this amazing arc.
The author rips off the band-aid in this raw, emotional, funny read, keeping us entertained while shedding light on an addiction that isn't discussed enough.
The whole time I was reading the book, I was completely captivated and sucked into this world. I felt like I was having a lunch date with a close friend. Roxanne takes us on a journey of self-discovery and does not shy away from any details.
This book completely blew my mind, challenging my self-discovery and helping me let go of negative thoughts! I absolutely love it when a book pushes my thinking to new heights.
As I always stated, a person is an addict who is an addict; it's the journey of self-awareness, the causes and healing, while being brutally honest. This is a must-read book.
Thank you to Brianne Davis for gifting me this amazing arc.
Read
March 8, 2026Thank you to the author for a copy of this audiobook!
It's self-help cleverly disguised as fiction. Self-help isn't usually for me, so I liked it being fed to you via a character. It explores the spectrum of addiction through its cast of characters and the benefits of self-love. Throughout it has an almost sarcastic humour, and I did really like the honesty of the main character.
This is the second in the series, and although it works standalone as there are little summaries now and again, I think I would have got more from it and connected more with the main character if I'd read book one first.
I found it a little repetitive at times, and would have liked a bit more story. But I enjoyed the development of the central characters and really rooted for them. It's an interesting insight into the world of acting too!
It's self-help cleverly disguised as fiction. Self-help isn't usually for me, so I liked it being fed to you via a character. It explores the spectrum of addiction through its cast of characters and the benefits of self-love. Throughout it has an almost sarcastic humour, and I did really like the honesty of the main character.
This is the second in the series, and although it works standalone as there are little summaries now and again, I think I would have got more from it and connected more with the main character if I'd read book one first.
I found it a little repetitive at times, and would have liked a bit more story. But I enjoyed the development of the central characters and really rooted for them. It's an interesting insight into the world of acting too!
Review of advance copy received from Author
This book was really good. I received it as an ARC, and it is a follow up to Brianne’s book titled “Secret Life of a Hollywood Sex & Love Addict: A Novel.” I don’t think it’s completely necessary to read that one first, but there are a couple of things that are referred back to that novel. Anyways, this book was really good. It was funny, and quite a few WTF moments just like I had in the first book. I am also going through a journey to sobriety - although it’s about alcohol use, and not $ex or love, so it was timely in my own journey. Pre-orders for this book are live now, and it will be available on February 13, 2026.
February 14, 2026
This book has been a brilliantly delicious roller coaster ride alla carte!
Intoxicatingly addictive and truly entertaining with every page you turn. “Becoming my own fucking Soulmate” is the book our generation needs right now! We’ve been craving it without knowing. Brianne draws us in an entertaining world full of sincerity and pure freedom to explore what it really means to love yourself and find your passion, and follow it unapologetically. It takes a lot of courage, determination and love to write a book like this and I’d recommend it to anyone who’s excited to learn more about themselves while empowering the shit out of yourself.
Intoxicatingly addictive and truly entertaining with every page you turn. “Becoming my own fucking Soulmate” is the book our generation needs right now! We’ve been craving it without knowing. Brianne draws us in an entertaining world full of sincerity and pure freedom to explore what it really means to love yourself and find your passion, and follow it unapologetically. It takes a lot of courage, determination and love to write a book like this and I’d recommend it to anyone who’s excited to learn more about themselves while empowering the shit out of yourself.
Review of advance copy received from Author
Very grateful for all the amazing love and kind words. Hope you all enjoy the wild ride!
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews