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Don't Blame It on Rio: The Real Deal Behind Why Men Go to Brazil for Sex
There is a not-so-new, not-so-secret destination where a growing number of American black men are traveling for the kind of sex and freedom they say they can't find with black women. Thousands of unsuspecting women are kissing their men good-bye while they go on "business" trips to Rio where they meet up with some of their friends and have sex every way they can imagine-no strings, no hassles, and no conscience.
This social worker is a Ph.D. student at the Mandel School of Applied Social Science at Case Western Reserve University in Ohio. He is the founder of The Renaissance Male Project Inc. and a New Voices Fellow 2005. He has made appearances on both national and regional television and radio shows, and print publications such as Essence magazine, The Toledo Blade, and the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
This social worker is a Ph.D. student at the Mandel School of Applied Social Science at Case Western Reserve University in Ohio. He is the founder of The Renaissance Male Project Inc. and a New Voices Fellow 2005. He has made appearances on both national and regional television and radio shows, and print publications such as Essence magazine, The Toledo Blade, and the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
320 pages, Hardcover
First published April 24, 2008
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30 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
February 11, 2025
I started reading Don't Blame It on Rio intrigued by its title, expecting mostly anecdotal accounts of Black men at play in Brazil, but what I found was a deep sociological study of Black relationships—specifically African-American men’s perspectives on romance, race, and identity in the context of Brazil. Jewel Woods examines the growing phenomenon of middle-class Black men traveling to Brazil in search of relationships, disillusioned with their intraracial dating experiences in the United States. He delves into their frustrations, perceptions of how they are treated by Black women at home, and what they believe they find abroad.
A Study of the Invisible Middle-Class Black Man
Woods focuses on a demographic often overlooked in discussions about race and relationships—the middle-class Black man. He highlights how this group has long felt invisible, even asexualized, by their own women. Through interviews and research, Woods uncovers a pervasive sentiment among these men: that they are neither seen nor appreciated in the same way as men in other racial groups. Instead of being viewed as desirable partners, many feel reduced to financial providers or judged by rigid social expectations.
Marriage, Declining Rates, and Interracial Relationships
Woods contrasts personal anecdotes with hard data, noting a steady decline in African-American marriage rates. In 1980, over 60% of African-American men were married, but by 2000, that number had fallen to approximately 41% (p. 291). He challenges the assumption that this decline is solely due to economic instability, pointing out that even employed Black men have experienced decreasing marriage rates (p. 4). Meanwhile, interracial marriages have risen, reflecting a shift in dating patterns that cannot be ignored.
Power vs. Empowerment: The Allure of Brazil
One of the book’s most compelling themes is the distinction between power and empowerment (p. 219). Woods argues that many men who travel to Brazil are not merely seeking romance but a sense of dominance they feel has been stripped from them in the U.S. However, he cautions against this mindset, suggesting that true fulfillment lies in overcoming these insecurities rather than indulging them.
The book also challenges the assumption that liberal sexuality leads to liberal attitudes (p. 248), emphasizing that the relationships formed in Brazil often reflect deep-seated power dynamics rather than progressive ideals. Woods critiques the idea that financial status should dictate romantic desirability, highlighting a telling quote: “With men feeling objectified, they figure if women are going to want them because they have money, they may as well have the ‘best’ women” (p. 260). This exposes the transactional nature of some of these relationships and the complex motivations behind them.
Romanticization and Social Expectations
Woods also explores the inherent idealization in relationships—how people project their desires and expectations onto their partners. He points out that Black men, in particular, struggle to reconcile conflicting expectations: the pressure to embody a respectable, blue-collar work ethic while also maintaining a certain level of toughness or “thug” appeal (p. 265). This internal conflict shapes their dating experiences and contributes to their frustration.
Privilege, Education, and Consciousness
In his analysis, Woods broadens the conversation to include privilege and social consciousness. He argues that privilege alone does not condemn an individual, but a lack of awareness and introspection does (p. 302). Similarly, he critiques the assumption that education automatically leads to progress, suggesting instead that it can be used to justify discrimination in more sophisticated ways (p. 303).
Final Thoughts
Don't Blame It on Rio raises thought-provoking questions about relationships, race, and gender dynamics. By presenting perspectives from both African-American men and women, the book strives for balance, encouraging readers to approach the topic with empathy rather than rigid biases. Woods does not advocate for one perspective over the other but instead urges self-reflection and open-mindedness. While some of the arguments may be contentious, the book serves as an important contribution to the ongoing discourse on Black relationships, masculinity, and identity in a globalized world.
Overall, Don't Blame It on Rio is an engaging and well-researched exploration of a complex issue. Coupling the female’s perspective of Karen Hunter was an additional resource that aimed for a balanced take on the social issue at hand and will definitely spark critical discussions on the factors influencing modern Black relationships and the broader social forces at play.
A Study of the Invisible Middle-Class Black Man
Woods focuses on a demographic often overlooked in discussions about race and relationships—the middle-class Black man. He highlights how this group has long felt invisible, even asexualized, by their own women. Through interviews and research, Woods uncovers a pervasive sentiment among these men: that they are neither seen nor appreciated in the same way as men in other racial groups. Instead of being viewed as desirable partners, many feel reduced to financial providers or judged by rigid social expectations.
Marriage, Declining Rates, and Interracial Relationships
Woods contrasts personal anecdotes with hard data, noting a steady decline in African-American marriage rates. In 1980, over 60% of African-American men were married, but by 2000, that number had fallen to approximately 41% (p. 291). He challenges the assumption that this decline is solely due to economic instability, pointing out that even employed Black men have experienced decreasing marriage rates (p. 4). Meanwhile, interracial marriages have risen, reflecting a shift in dating patterns that cannot be ignored.
Power vs. Empowerment: The Allure of Brazil
One of the book’s most compelling themes is the distinction between power and empowerment (p. 219). Woods argues that many men who travel to Brazil are not merely seeking romance but a sense of dominance they feel has been stripped from them in the U.S. However, he cautions against this mindset, suggesting that true fulfillment lies in overcoming these insecurities rather than indulging them.
The book also challenges the assumption that liberal sexuality leads to liberal attitudes (p. 248), emphasizing that the relationships formed in Brazil often reflect deep-seated power dynamics rather than progressive ideals. Woods critiques the idea that financial status should dictate romantic desirability, highlighting a telling quote: “With men feeling objectified, they figure if women are going to want them because they have money, they may as well have the ‘best’ women” (p. 260). This exposes the transactional nature of some of these relationships and the complex motivations behind them.
Romanticization and Social Expectations
Woods also explores the inherent idealization in relationships—how people project their desires and expectations onto their partners. He points out that Black men, in particular, struggle to reconcile conflicting expectations: the pressure to embody a respectable, blue-collar work ethic while also maintaining a certain level of toughness or “thug” appeal (p. 265). This internal conflict shapes their dating experiences and contributes to their frustration.
Privilege, Education, and Consciousness
In his analysis, Woods broadens the conversation to include privilege and social consciousness. He argues that privilege alone does not condemn an individual, but a lack of awareness and introspection does (p. 302). Similarly, he critiques the assumption that education automatically leads to progress, suggesting instead that it can be used to justify discrimination in more sophisticated ways (p. 303).
Final Thoughts
Don't Blame It on Rio raises thought-provoking questions about relationships, race, and gender dynamics. By presenting perspectives from both African-American men and women, the book strives for balance, encouraging readers to approach the topic with empathy rather than rigid biases. Woods does not advocate for one perspective over the other but instead urges self-reflection and open-mindedness. While some of the arguments may be contentious, the book serves as an important contribution to the ongoing discourse on Black relationships, masculinity, and identity in a globalized world.
Overall, Don't Blame It on Rio is an engaging and well-researched exploration of a complex issue. Coupling the female’s perspective of Karen Hunter was an additional resource that aimed for a balanced take on the social issue at hand and will definitely spark critical discussions on the factors influencing modern Black relationships and the broader social forces at play.
May 30, 2008
So far, this book is full of generalizations and sterotypes. There are virtually no sources to back up the authors point of view except for a bunch of men who run thousands of miles to Rio for a roll in the hay. The fact that the author tries to position this book as a legitimate potrait of the relationship between black men and women is laughable. Even my own fiance told me to run back to Barnes and Nobles and get a refund. He told me to take store credit if I had to. But I continue reading this book -- in part, because demanding refunds is not really my style. Also, this book is like a car accident. As horrible as they are, it's human nature to pause on the road when you see a car with a dent on its side and its tires in the air. Every page turn for me is like watching an SUV turn over and over -- I just want to know when it will stop.
July 19, 2010
chapter by chapter this book points out a number of motives and leaves the reader thinking on the individual and shared responsibilities neccessary to address the problem.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews