As summer break drew to a close, Jonas grew desperate for something exciting to fill his final days. Soon he would regret those same feelings as he embarked on the most dangerous adventure of his life. Thrust into an unbelievable world of dwarves, goblins and an evil more terrifying than anything he had ever encountered, Jonas would soon find himself yearning for his boring, normal life and struggle to escape Through the Oak Tree Rift.
This is going to be difficult for me to write because, as a writer myself, I like to encourage other new writers. I also appreciate the value of an honest review if that review comes from an objective POV.
So first, the good things about Through the Oak Tree Rift:
1. Bushman is clearly an imaginative author. The story that he tells about a middle school boy who accidentally finds a portal to a Tolkien-esque world is creative and worth telling.
2. The progression of the story is rarely confusing. Bushman has a well thought plot mapped out.
3. The characters are well drawn and distinct from one another. Evil villains are nicely despicable. The main character Jonas is innocent and relatable.
Now comes the criticism.
1. In a word, it’s overwritten. Painstakingly overwritten. Overwritten to the point of being skim-worthy. This brings me to point two...
2. The draft is in need of a good editor. Because all writers have been there with the need to feel like they’re a real author, but that the title doesn’t ring true unless there’s an abundance of creative ways to say something that’s simple. Heavy handed descriptives are not what makes a writer a writer.
But that’s not the only reason that this is in need of a good editor. I know there’s that adage that goes “when in doubt, leave it out,” but the narrative here would be well served by a more frequent use of commas.
I don’t think I caught a single word that was misspelled, but I did find plenty of words that were overlooked by a limited spell checker. A “fell word” instead of a “spell word,” or “the” instead of “then.” A good editor would have caught most of those errors, and I can forgive an occasional mistake in the books I read, but not when it’s often.
After reading this, I checked out the author’s Goodreads page where he notes that he is doing some tweaking on this story. So, maybe my criticisms will be outdated by the time other readers come to read it. But as of this reading I can only rate the story with a 2. But it’s a 2 with potential.