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How Women Help Men Find God
Help for women to understand men's spiritual needs, why today's church doesn't meet them, and how to successfully point them to God. Women don't understand men's spiritual needs but they want to and desperately need to know what they can do (and should not do) to keep their men engaged at church. In the follow-up to his bestselling Why Men Hate Going to Church , author David Murrow speaks directly to women to help them understand the real reasons men resist Christianity. He offers a way of talking about faith that intrigues men instead of repels them and then challenges them to bring more risk and adventure to their own walk with the Lord.
245 pages, Paperback
First published May 6, 2008
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
March 22, 2022
This book is very insightful. More specifically, this book is not only directed towards women who would like to help men, but about how to get a men's ministry started at your church. Only 10% of churches had men's ministries at the time this book was published in 2008.
There are ways that women can help men, but mostly it's by connecting men with a men's group, because discussions between men/women and men/other men are different in any case. I enjoyed this book and found it very informative.
There are ways that women can help men, but mostly it's by connecting men with a men's group, because discussions between men/women and men/other men are different in any case. I enjoyed this book and found it very informative.
April 1, 2014
There are some good ideas in here, but the author confuses is/ought distinction, in my view. Just because men *are* a certain way, doesn't mean they *should* be that way and we should fashion the church community around that way.
I see the church community (particularly conservative ones) as still led primarily by men. The author argues otherwise. He thinks churches are too feminine, and I can concur with some of those points. We need more balance. However, the research is clear. Men in American culture struggle big-time. They are heavily involved in pornography and the sex trade. Violence against women, together with rape and sexuality portrayals, are becoming much more prevalent/accepted in advertising and media in general. Women do most of the housework and take most of the responsibility for the children while still working 1 or more jobs outside the home.
I don't think it's the women who need to bend over backwards to change things, totally catering to men's preferences to the degree that the author is recommending. To do so is to ask more of them than is fair. I like the parts where the author teaches women how to pray for men, and I think that was the most valuable part of this book. The other valuable piece was the author argues for men to disciple one another. This is desperately needed, and women truly cannot fill that role.
One of the best things Christian women can do, in my view, is to simply refuse marry men who are not making efforts toward spiritual maturity--even if that means decades of singleness. Certainly, they shouldn't sleep with them, either. These are things women can do that may actually make a difference. The problem is that women are the ones with the ticking biological clock, not men; so there is plenty of incentive not to hold out for too long. This clip illustrates the systemic nature of the problem quite effectively: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cO1if...
One more thing. The author argues men cannot multitask. The complexity of video games that men play and the efficiency that men demonstrate while playing them both suggest otherwise. This evidence suggests that if men are sufficiently motivated, they can indeed multitask.
In sum, the real issues involved far extend the author's treatment. That said, there were some helpful lessons to be gleaned, also.
I see the church community (particularly conservative ones) as still led primarily by men. The author argues otherwise. He thinks churches are too feminine, and I can concur with some of those points. We need more balance. However, the research is clear. Men in American culture struggle big-time. They are heavily involved in pornography and the sex trade. Violence against women, together with rape and sexuality portrayals, are becoming much more prevalent/accepted in advertising and media in general. Women do most of the housework and take most of the responsibility for the children while still working 1 or more jobs outside the home.
I don't think it's the women who need to bend over backwards to change things, totally catering to men's preferences to the degree that the author is recommending. To do so is to ask more of them than is fair. I like the parts where the author teaches women how to pray for men, and I think that was the most valuable part of this book. The other valuable piece was the author argues for men to disciple one another. This is desperately needed, and women truly cannot fill that role.
One of the best things Christian women can do, in my view, is to simply refuse marry men who are not making efforts toward spiritual maturity--even if that means decades of singleness. Certainly, they shouldn't sleep with them, either. These are things women can do that may actually make a difference. The problem is that women are the ones with the ticking biological clock, not men; so there is plenty of incentive not to hold out for too long. This clip illustrates the systemic nature of the problem quite effectively: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cO1if...
One more thing. The author argues men cannot multitask. The complexity of video games that men play and the efficiency that men demonstrate while playing them both suggest otherwise. This evidence suggests that if men are sufficiently motivated, they can indeed multitask.
In sum, the real issues involved far extend the author's treatment. That said, there were some helpful lessons to be gleaned, also.
March 15, 2010
I loved this book. This was yet another book on the New Book Shelf at the library that I picked out on a whim. Once I started reading it, I couldn't put it down. I ended up reading most of the book aloud to my husband, both of us often exclaiming "that is so true!" This book tackles why most men don't attend church, how to make church more "man-friendly," and how to discuss God with men.
Why most men don't attend church - My husband had to agree with almost every single reason given. I never thought of church as more "feminine" than "masculine," but when the author pointed out examples, I had to admit that he was correct. From the decor, to the style of worship, to the lyrics of most songs, many modern churches are more attractive to women than men. I didn't believe it until I read this book.
How to make church more "man-friendly" - While I agreed that churches need to work on being more appealing to men, I didn't feel confident in the author's advice. Ideally, the advice would work perfectly and changes could be made to the church structure to attract men. However, I'm not confident that one woman can make a difference even if she found several other women who also want to make changes. At least in my local church, tradition is too deeply ingrained for a woman (especially one who is younger than 50) to be able to successfully suggest and see changes implemented.
How to discuss God with men - The advice was spot-on. I can see that traditional discussion topics will not work to convince my brother that he needs God. The suggestions included in this book may open doors to at least discuss God with athiests or agnostics.
My favorite quote in this book is actually a quote from another author. "Are you living the kind of Christian life your [man:] would see as a trade up? If your Christian life is strangled by legalism, parched by gloom, pinched by a desire to control, smothered by somberness, or numbed by boredom, nobody in his right mind would want that kind of life for himself" (Lee Strobel). Well said.
Why most men don't attend church - My husband had to agree with almost every single reason given. I never thought of church as more "feminine" than "masculine," but when the author pointed out examples, I had to admit that he was correct. From the decor, to the style of worship, to the lyrics of most songs, many modern churches are more attractive to women than men. I didn't believe it until I read this book.
How to make church more "man-friendly" - While I agreed that churches need to work on being more appealing to men, I didn't feel confident in the author's advice. Ideally, the advice would work perfectly and changes could be made to the church structure to attract men. However, I'm not confident that one woman can make a difference even if she found several other women who also want to make changes. At least in my local church, tradition is too deeply ingrained for a woman (especially one who is younger than 50) to be able to successfully suggest and see changes implemented.
How to discuss God with men - The advice was spot-on. I can see that traditional discussion topics will not work to convince my brother that he needs God. The suggestions included in this book may open doors to at least discuss God with athiests or agnostics.
My favorite quote in this book is actually a quote from another author. "Are you living the kind of Christian life your [man:] would see as a trade up? If your Christian life is strangled by legalism, parched by gloom, pinched by a desire to control, smothered by somberness, or numbed by boredom, nobody in his right mind would want that kind of life for himself" (Lee Strobel). Well said.
September 26, 2014
This book could change the church and the world! Yeah! It's THAT good!A Must Read for every Christian woman and Pastor!! David Murrow hits the bulls-eye as to why so many men avoid church and even Christianity itself. He graciously but directly points out how many women, often ignorantly, push their male family members and friends away from church and participating in the spiritual aspect of their (desired) relationship.
It's not a "beat up on women" book by any means but more of a "This is why your guy doesn't want anything to do with God or church. Here are some of the common mistakes women (and some men) make in their attempts to win the men in their lives to Christ and Christian living. And here's a better, more effective way to go about it."
If many churches would embrace the things Mr. Murrow puts forth in this book, not only would we see record breaking church growth among males I do believe revival would break out across this nation and the world. Yeah, it's that profound!
I found myself stirred and inspired as I read through this wonderful book. I don't know how many times I exclaimed, "That's so true! That's it!!"
Easily a Five Star! Get it! You won't regret it!
It's not a "beat up on women" book by any means but more of a "This is why your guy doesn't want anything to do with God or church. Here are some of the common mistakes women (and some men) make in their attempts to win the men in their lives to Christ and Christian living. And here's a better, more effective way to go about it."
If many churches would embrace the things Mr. Murrow puts forth in this book, not only would we see record breaking church growth among males I do believe revival would break out across this nation and the world. Yeah, it's that profound!
I found myself stirred and inspired as I read through this wonderful book. I don't know how many times I exclaimed, "That's so true! That's it!!"
Easily a Five Star! Get it! You won't regret it!
March 24, 2017
I read this book with a small group of women, and it was thought-changing for every one of us. We learned so much about how our husbands, sons, and the other men around us think and process information in the church world. Even when the author stomped on our toes to tell us what we've done that chased our men out of church, he lovingly shared with us the words and actions we needed to change to encourage our men back toward God. This is one of those books that I think every Christian woman should read.
December 28, 2014
Enlightening, hilarious, true.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews