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Master/slave Mastery: Updated handbook of concepts, approaches, and practices
About this book:
A servant serves Master’s needs or is fired;
A slave serves Master’s wants or is released.
However, Master’s wants must not trump slave’s needs,
Even when playing by RACK standards.
slave is in service to Master;
However, Master is in service to the relationship.
Welcome to the complex and elegant
World of Master/slave relations.
This is a revised and substantially expanded version of my prior book, Master/slave Relations: Handbook of theory and practice. Even if you’ve read that one, this is substantially different. This is a book both for people starting out in M/s and also for people who have been involved for a few years.
The second book in this series, Master/slave Mastery: Refining the Fire – ideas that matter is intended for those who have been involved with the Master/slave world for 5+ years. Together, these books are core readings for anyone interested in living in a structured, authority-imbalanced relationship.
A servant serves Master’s needs or is fired;
A slave serves Master’s wants or is released.
However, Master’s wants must not trump slave’s needs,
Even when playing by RACK standards.
slave is in service to Master;
However, Master is in service to the relationship.
Welcome to the complex and elegant
World of Master/slave relations.
This is a revised and substantially expanded version of my prior book, Master/slave Relations: Handbook of theory and practice. Even if you’ve read that one, this is substantially different. This is a book both for people starting out in M/s and also for people who have been involved for a few years.
The second book in this series, Master/slave Mastery: Refining the Fire – ideas that matter is intended for those who have been involved with the Master/slave world for 5+ years. Together, these books are core readings for anyone interested in living in a structured, authority-imbalanced relationship.
- GenresBDSM
219 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 24, 2014
169 people are currently reading
101 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
October 7, 2018
The book explains the Master/Slave dynamic well.
Unfortunately, the author gets tangled in his own ego.
He apparently thinks that BDSM relationships are above "vanilla" relationships, and writes they are special, a calling, have more meaning and a better structure than non-BDSM relationships.
At the same time he explains a lot of things an ordinary couple therapist would advise (open communication, empathy, self-reflection, etc.).
It boils down to a "I'm a special snowflake because I don't get therapy for my control issues and instead incorporate it into my daily life with willing, equally-misguided people" handbook.
He's also gendering a lot, considering women the standard submissives and even recommends the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" (for better understanding each other!), which enforces harmful gender stereotypes and is incredibly sexist.
The author mentions a couple of times he's 70, so it's pretty clear due to his generation, and their limits in gender politics, he has a very narrow view about the different roles (and equality) in a relatonship.
This book is the result of an old man writing about his comfort zone.
Unfortunately, the author gets tangled in his own ego.
He apparently thinks that BDSM relationships are above "vanilla" relationships, and writes they are special, a calling, have more meaning and a better structure than non-BDSM relationships.
At the same time he explains a lot of things an ordinary couple therapist would advise (open communication, empathy, self-reflection, etc.).
It boils down to a "I'm a special snowflake because I don't get therapy for my control issues and instead incorporate it into my daily life with willing, equally-misguided people" handbook.
He's also gendering a lot, considering women the standard submissives and even recommends the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" (for better understanding each other!), which enforces harmful gender stereotypes and is incredibly sexist.
The author mentions a couple of times he's 70, so it's pretty clear due to his generation, and their limits in gender politics, he has a very narrow view about the different roles (and equality) in a relatonship.
This book is the result of an old man writing about his comfort zone.
January 22, 2024
good
A little dry, a little academic, but I don’t know that those are bad things. I do wish the book would delve a little more into specific topics, issues in M/s but it’s pretty broad and shallow but when it does get deep it gets academic. Particularly about personality types. Very little on approaches or practices . Seems mostly about making sure two people are compatible for M/s.
It’s good but wasn’t the food I was looking for.
A little dry, a little academic, but I don’t know that those are bad things. I do wish the book would delve a little more into specific topics, issues in M/s but it’s pretty broad and shallow but when it does get deep it gets academic. Particularly about personality types. Very little on approaches or practices . Seems mostly about making sure two people are compatible for M/s.
It’s good but wasn’t the food I was looking for.
May 23, 2019
Did not finish this book. Not that it's a bad book, just that I read enough to determine that a M/s relationship is not something that *I* am interested in. I think there's nothing wrong with M/s relationships, I am simply not interested in one for myself. But the time spent reading the parts that I did read was not wasted time. The author spent a great deal of effort defining what he considers the differences between a Dominant/submissive (D/s) and a Master/slave (M/s) relationship. So, I learned 2 things:
1. I really liked the author's description of what he considers characteristics of a D/s relationship. I am interested in being a part of a D/s relationship (as a submissive), and comfortable with giving up power as described.
2. I am not interested in being a part of a M/s relationship; not that there's anything wrong with them, just involves giving up more conrol that I am comfortable in doing.
1. I really liked the author's description of what he considers characteristics of a D/s relationship. I am interested in being a part of a D/s relationship (as a submissive), and comfortable with giving up power as described.
2. I am not interested in being a part of a M/s relationship; not that there's anything wrong with them, just involves giving up more conrol that I am comfortable in doing.
December 23, 2022
Great book, lot of information
Not only review the dinamics of TPE or M/s relationship by concept and guide it goles deeper in fundamentals to make it work, as well it present other book that will help the knowledge-learning process
Not only review the dinamics of TPE or M/s relationship by concept and guide it goles deeper in fundamentals to make it work, as well it present other book that will help the knowledge-learning process
April 28, 2024
Incredible information
I found myself highlighting constantly. Thought provoking and insightful, even for someone not exploring the M/s dynamic.
It was not a book that could be consumed in a single sitting or even two despite its relatively low page count.
I found myself highlighting constantly. Thought provoking and insightful, even for someone not exploring the M/s dynamic.
It was not a book that could be consumed in a single sitting or even two despite its relatively low page count.
October 19, 2018
Informative
This was a good and informative read. Well defined and explained, filled with great examples and ideas. Thought provoking for a beginner.
This was a good and informative read. Well defined and explained, filled with great examples and ideas. Thought provoking for a beginner.
November 18, 2025
Probably one of my favorite kink books. Great explanations and a deep dive into submissive vs slave.
November 1, 2016
This book is very well written and easy to read. You feel like you are sitting in one of his classes absorbing a wealth of information. Dr. Bob has spent years collecting information from well respected presenters in the Master/slave community. With that he has used his wisdom and personal experiences to create one of the best books I have seen.
This is definitely not a book for those new to the BDSM lifestyle. But for those that have considered or are engaging in a M/s relationship. As Dr. Bob would say, I also consider myself a "relationship knowledge geek." Even those with experience can gleam a few tidbits of information. Probably my favorite part of the book was the list of books throughout for further reading. Ranging from changing personal beliefs and self confidence to reading body language and dealing with relationships in general. I have probably added 15 different books to read or reread since reading this book.
So be a geek with me and check out this book!
This is definitely not a book for those new to the BDSM lifestyle. But for those that have considered or are engaging in a M/s relationship. As Dr. Bob would say, I also consider myself a "relationship knowledge geek." Even those with experience can gleam a few tidbits of information. Probably my favorite part of the book was the list of books throughout for further reading. Ranging from changing personal beliefs and self confidence to reading body language and dealing with relationships in general. I have probably added 15 different books to read or reread since reading this book.
So be a geek with me and check out this book!
August 23, 2016
Some solid chapters worth going back to, and mostly concepts I agree with and that build on my values around power dynamics. I appreciate the word nerdery in it, too.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews