To Cause A Death: The Aftermath Of An Accidental Killing

by Kelly Connor

Thirty-three years ago, Kelly Connor was a carefree seventeen-year-old with her life ahead of her. One sunny morning in Perth, Australia, she borrowed her father’s car to go to work, having recently passed her driving test. Her very ordinary trip, however, was soon marred by horror. Driving on a clear road, Kelly knocked down and killed an elderly pedestrian. Although she avoided convictions of manslaughter and reckless driving, the incident was to have a profound impact on her life. Kelly quickly discovered that her family and friends avoided all talk about what had happened, while she, in contrast, began to be haunted by the event. So began a cycle of deep inner experiences, visions, and outer life changes. To Cause a The Aftermath of an Accidental Killing, was written from the perspective of the one who caused the accident. It traces Kelly’s life from the depths of despair, sojourns into mental hospitals, and a failed suicide attempt, and eventually to a path of personal and spiritual development. It shows how the passage of her the author’s allowed her to reach some comprehension of the tragic accident of her youth. following a tragic accident of her youth. Whereas the relatives and friends of victims have written much on the subject, little exists on how such incidents affect the perpetrators. This book is essential reading for those concerned with the challenge of inner growth and the challenges of traumatic events.

187 pages, Paperback

First published October 30, 2004

Reviews

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was kind of a bizarre memoir. The writing itself isn't great, but the question asked compelled me to keep reading: "Do I have the right to continue living if I have caused the death of another person?" Following Connor through her decades of grappling with this question was sad and frustrating for me, mostly because she lacks any consistent support and is left to fumble around alone. She ends up piecing together a spiritual solution that seems satisfying to her, but I found woefully inadequate (she follows the teachings of Rudolf Steiner, the Waldorf guy, who has his own unique thoughts about most things, including what I'd describe as a secular purgatory). Her conclusions were unsatisfying to me, but I was thankful that Connor seemed to find a peaceful resolution within herself.