Everything Your Coach Never Told You Because You're a Girl:

by Dan Blank

This is what your coaches would have said to you if you were a boy, told through the story of a small-college team that won more games than it ever had a right to win. It’s an inspiring and straightforward look at the qualities that define the most competitive females, and what separates the ones who get it from the ones who don't.

Genres: Soccer, Sports

187 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 20, 2014

Reviews

[Taylor · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dances a thin line between the "All In" Mentality, hard work, 100% max effort, controlling your destiny and glorifying bullying and making your opponents cry, win at all costs mentality. The book doesn't come out and say "play dirty" but absolutely advocates for pushing that boundary as far as you can. Take the first punch, be the aggressor, etc. This book seems to be geared towards college level athletes who have the ability to parse these ideals into a collegiate level gameplay/team dynamic but have concerns about what the takeaway might for younger readers who might misconstrue the messages in the book to be "play dirty" "foul-to-win" "be a bully" "sportsmanship doesn't matter" (this was given to my 11 y/o competitive soccer playing daughter) Overall, in an adult perspective I agree with a lot of the ideas and mentality this book offers, but feel its necessary to provide oversight and discussion with younger readers/athletes to ensure the right message is relayed and the tactics are employed in a way the author meant them to be. "Be Nasty" the author advocates, and sure on a collegiate playing field there's room for that in a competitive/leave it on the field sense, but I don't condone tearing other girls down and being a "mean girl" at 11, in the youth sports arena and would want to ensure my daughter understands the difference between the two .

[Elle LaFave · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have never learned so much from a book as I have from this one. It’s easy to say I wasn't planning on enjoying it this much but some things don’t work as we plan. 49.6% of the people in this world aren’t being taught to their full potential and this book has everything I need to know about winning that my coach never told me because I’m not a boy.

This book is about one guy with a passion to coach and one college soccer team with a passion to make jaw dropping records. The girls, starting with a record of (2,7,1) were safe to say awful. They didn't have the skills, technicality, or mindset of winners. “Winners win, and winners win.” The one and only phrase that was said to the girls every time they were down on themselves. Dan who was determined to find a leader for his team went around looking for girls with the drive of winning that would possibly join his team. After many rejections he found the one. One girl who would change the team forever. Joelle. “She totally refuses to lose. You tell her to win, she goes out and wins.” He describes her as a total monster and she did everything she could to carry that team.

The team was many things. Good was not one of them. They were totally going to lose every game if they didn't step it up. Joelle Zucali didn't have the technicality to win. She wasn't supposed to be amazing, but her attitude made her beyond amazing. Dan blank, the coach spent so much time transferring her drive to the rest of the team by naming her the lone caption. “Anyone can say I hate to lose,” he says, but only the people like Joelle did something about it. The team could not accept defeat.

This book transformed the way I think about soccer and more importantly, life. I highly suggest this book to people who want to win. Throughout the story the girls go through a wild journey of pain, learning, confusion, and defeat. After reading this book, all I have to say is no pain, no gain.

[Joelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good information on what it takes to be a winner, no matter what gender you are or what you're competing in. It focuses on a win at all costs mentality, which I have trouble with (I tend to look for skill and sportsmanship first) but as the kids I coach grow older I see how this could be important at the higher levels. Even in parts 4 & 5, which I probably could relate to the least, I found great, helpful information. Passed it on to my almost 14 year old daughter to discuss later.

Part 1 - Getting It - About competition, being a competitor, choosing to be a winner. Good stuff.
Part 2 - It Starts With You - How do you choose to be a winner? Here's where you start.
Part 3 - Controlling Your Destiny - Ready to take control and be a winner? Be responsible for yourself and stop the blame game. Here's your blueprint.
Part 4 - The Dirty Work - The toughest section for me (even with the boys I coach) and what causes problems for others (if you read Amazon reviews). Can you handle the emotional toll this will take? Then step up and go for it. I can't, but reading it helps me understand those that can and I won't hold them back. Also remember that this is aimed at competitive college athletes.
Part 5 - A Team Less Ordinary - How to create a team culture that values winning over all. (He also wrote In My Tribe about creating this culture as a coach.)
Part 6 - Name Your Price - What does it really take to be a winner? Break down the commitment winners make every game, every training, every day.
Part 7 - For the Girls - A little on what you'll face as a girl who wants to be a winner and what it means in the bigger picture. Hard to swallow, but realistic.

[Emily Goodson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a great read! As an American collegiate player who is now playing overseas, I thought this book gave really incredible points on what it means to have a competitive edge. I also love the points made about femenitity and how current athletes had heroes who came before us to give us the opportunities that we have today. Thanks for making me more consciously aware of the competitive edges, coach!

[Hana Uhlikova · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book is full of useful and practical strategies how to succeed in your sports career as well as your life. Definitely recommended!

[Criss · Rating 5 out of 5]

Definitely good nuggets in here, especially as a girls coach. Enjoyed it!

[Danny · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting read. Some things to think about, I liked the antidotes used. Wouldn't really recommend this unless you are intert on the competition of sports politics.

[Peter · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5

[Will Gould · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every athlete should read this book regardless of gender. The title is very misleading, has little to do with being a girl and more to do with the traits and mindset of being a winner. Dan Blank is a must read author for my young players with his “soccer IQ” book and he hits a major home run in with this one. If every played played with the heart and mindset his short stories describes your team would never lose another game again!

[Joseph Ulm · Rating 5 out of 5]

As much about life as it is about soccer.

This book is not just for women. It's a must read for everyone. Want to know what 100% really means? Read this book.

[Chad Shryock · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a high school girls’ soccer coach, Everything Your Coach Never Told You Because You’re a Girl by Dan Blank has completely transformed how I coach. I loved the book so much that I organized a team book study, and the impact was profound.

The book addresses the unique challenges female athletes face, from perfectionism to fear of failure, and empowers them to redefine success on their own terms. My players deeply connected with the message about embracing risks and failure as part of growth. It sparked honest discussions about how fear of mistakes sometimes holds them back, both on and off the field.

The book also pushed me to reflect on my coaching approach. Its insights on communication, leadership, and mindset challenged me to better support my players in becoming confident and resilient individuals. These lessons reinforced our team philosophy: “100% focus, 100% effort.” It’s a standard they can always meet and a reminder to give their all, regardless of the outcome.

The book study strengthened our team culture, building trust and camaraderie among the players. I’ve seen them grow not only as athletes but as leaders. This book is a must-read for any coach, parent, or athlete who wants to truly empower young women. It’s not just about soccer—it’s about life.

[Brian Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great motivation. I'd like to buy a copy for every girl I've coached over the years. Boys would benefit from it as well. Especially coaches! (tread lightly in the consumption and implementation of ideas in this book. Many are for college level consumption) That said, 95% of the content in this book is immediately practicable for any pre-teen or teen player!

[Kari Mccrory · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book and wish I had read it as a young athlete. Dan Blank captures many of the feelings and thoughts I have had over the years as a female athlete. If I could buy a copy for all young female athletes I know, I would do so.

[D'lynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great coaching book

I thought this was a great book for coaches and players. I highlighted many many sections to share with other coaches and players.

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Spells out what it means to be a competitive

This book doesn't dance around the reality of competition and gets down to what it takes to win. Great read.