My Daughter He: Transitioning With Our Transgender Children

by Candace Waldron

My Daughter He: Transitioning With Our Transgender Children is both a story and a resource. Written by a mother reflecting on her own difficult journey to accept that her beloved daughter longed to be a boy, My Daughter He explores the labyrinthine path many parents travel: supporting their child’s authentic self-expression while experiencing deep-seated emotions of their own. Topics include:
• Finding the right team of professionals to guide your decisions
• Reversible and irreversible treatment options and if and when to begin them
• Self-care strategies and support for siblings
• Networking with other parents to create supportive schools and communities
With younger children exhibiting gender nonconformity or disclosing transgender feelings, and medical options for preteens that have positive lifelong benefits, parent decision-making has never been more urgent. My Daughter He is a valuable handbook to guide you.

306 pages, Paperback

First published October 16, 2014

Reviews

[Lea]

I did a quick read of this to understand more about transgender

[Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very incredible inside look at a parent unlearning cisnormativity and learning how to love their son. If you are a parent with a transgender child, I highly recommend this book!

[Gavin · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this ground breaking and very readable work, author Candace Waldron recounts the story of her first born, gender non-conforming child, and the struggle involved for both child and parents in growing into full acceptance and person-hood. The journey that her daughter Kendra undergoes throughout her childhood and adolescence in dealing with her true gender identity and need to conform to that identity, coupled with the authors own struggle to accept and support a child whom she loves dearly, is compelling material. The author brings her skill as a story teller and researcher, as well as an advocate for those who exist outside of the narrowly drawn mainstream of life, to render a work that is informative, engaging and brutally honest.

This is not a dry, academic thesis, nor is it a self-centered, sensationalized memoir. My Daughter He is a thoughtful, honest, sensitive work that engages the reader both emotionally and intellectually. Like any parent, the author speaks of wanting only for her child to be happy and successful in life, and bleeds pain and longing as she recounts Kendra's, now Kai’s difficulties in seeking his own identity in a world that little understands nor accepts the idea of gender non-conformity. The author writes movingly and honestly of her and her families own challenges to accept, embrace and ultimately champion and support their child’s transition. The author’s integrity and strength fill the page as she recounts the difficulties and trauma she witnessed in her child’s life; the heart breaking sadness and hopelessness, the approaches tried and failed, and ultimately, Kai’s transition and triumph.Kai's triumph is ours as well, and the author

The book follows Kai’s life from birth to the present day. Each chapter is organized into the recollections of the author, current research on the issues pertaining to transgender children and then reflections from the author which provide resources, steps and guidance for parents of transgender children. And although this book is intended for these parents; teachers, guidance counselors, and others looking for a realistic understanding of transgender issues will benefit as well. I will end with a quote from the final chapter – Trans people are bilingual in gender, bi-gender, able to bridge one of humanities greatest rifts at a time when we need expand awareness, understanding and compassion. They have walked in another’s shoes and have rare and valuable knowledge as a result. We would do well to listen and learn.

[Becky · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked up this book out of curiosity, since coming in contact with several transgender people and wanting to understand them. This book is part memoir, part helpful advice, and part resources for parents of children who don't fit the expectations of their gender.