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A Wrinkle in the Long Gray Line: When Conscience and Convention Collided
On August 6, 1970, a New York Times front page headline "West Pointer Seeks Discharge as a Conscientious Objector." A Wrinkle in the Long Gray Line is the story of that West Pointer, Cary E. Donham, who after three successful years at the military academy, chose to follow his religious and moral beliefs despite the overwhelming odds against him from the military establishment. This memoir is well sourced from a range of materials including news articles, numerous contemporaneous letters to his parents, data obtained through Freedom of Information requests and of course his own experiences,
Growing up in a small town in Southern Illinos, Mr. Donham excelled in sports, academics and had strong religious roots. Influenced by his father who was an officer during WWII and knowing that all young men faced military service during the Vietnam War, he eyed West Point as a way to serve the country as an officer, like his father, to the best of his abilities.
He eyed West Point, but admission required a Congressional appointment. Mr. Donham was named as an alternate much to his disappointment. But as West Point was expanding its student body during the Vietnam War, in April 1967, based on his overall stellar qualifications, he was selected to attend the academy as a "qualified alternate.". He accepted.
And so began the academic, spiritual and moral journey of Mr. Donham. Beginning with his first year – often referred to as Plebe year - Mr. Donham describes, with humor and irony, the constant pressure, hazing, as well as the military training new cadets undergo during their first eight week summer aptly named "Beast Barracks. Simply surviving was the goal of most new cadets. And he did indeed survive, and excelled during his second year, called Yearling, with military training at Camp Buckner, and the brutal schedule of academics that included calculus, physics, chemistry, history, French, and military tactics.
The end of Yearling year was a decision point for cadets with two possible paths to stay or go. And for Mr. Donham, his inner voice started to grow louder making that decision all the more critical.
Once junior year started, a cadet who left the academy did not return to the draft pool as in the first two years. Rather, a cadet who resigned or was expelled went directly into the Army for three years as an enlisted person rather than an officer. Mr. Donham was in the top 10 percent of his class in academics. It seemed a waste of his academic success and opportunities ahead so stayed and prepared for his next round of summer military training. He would be a squad leader for the second half of Beast Barracks, helping shape new cadets so they could succeed during Plebe year and thereafter.
Part of a squad leader's duties included teaching new cadets how to use a bayonet, physical drill with a a call and response during the "What is the spirit of the bayonet?" "To kill, sir." Leading this drill stirred something deep in Mr. Donham. A casual call and response about killing repeated over and over. He felt conflicted with not just the casual nature of it but with his religious upbringing to love your neighbor and turn the other cheek. But he was there to do his job as squad leader and put aside his doubts to complete his squad leader duties.
Despite lingering moral questions, Mr. Donham saw a path to finishing at West Point. His academic standing gave him options upon graduation, even a possible path to graduate school. And then the realities of the Vietnam War hit close to home. One of his high school classmates had been killed in Vietnam and then on October 11, 1969, the Vietnam War protest intruded on West Point. Students from Vassar and other nearby colleges marched at the academy and did not stand during the National Anthem. Then he, like the rest of the country, learned about the indiscriminate murder of civilians at My Lai in Vietnam, including the involvement of the then West Point Superintende
Growing up in a small town in Southern Illinos, Mr. Donham excelled in sports, academics and had strong religious roots. Influenced by his father who was an officer during WWII and knowing that all young men faced military service during the Vietnam War, he eyed West Point as a way to serve the country as an officer, like his father, to the best of his abilities.
He eyed West Point, but admission required a Congressional appointment. Mr. Donham was named as an alternate much to his disappointment. But as West Point was expanding its student body during the Vietnam War, in April 1967, based on his overall stellar qualifications, he was selected to attend the academy as a "qualified alternate.". He accepted.
And so began the academic, spiritual and moral journey of Mr. Donham. Beginning with his first year – often referred to as Plebe year - Mr. Donham describes, with humor and irony, the constant pressure, hazing, as well as the military training new cadets undergo during their first eight week summer aptly named "Beast Barracks. Simply surviving was the goal of most new cadets. And he did indeed survive, and excelled during his second year, called Yearling, with military training at Camp Buckner, and the brutal schedule of academics that included calculus, physics, chemistry, history, French, and military tactics.
The end of Yearling year was a decision point for cadets with two possible paths to stay or go. And for Mr. Donham, his inner voice started to grow louder making that decision all the more critical.
Once junior year started, a cadet who left the academy did not return to the draft pool as in the first two years. Rather, a cadet who resigned or was expelled went directly into the Army for three years as an enlisted person rather than an officer. Mr. Donham was in the top 10 percent of his class in academics. It seemed a waste of his academic success and opportunities ahead so stayed and prepared for his next round of summer military training. He would be a squad leader for the second half of Beast Barracks, helping shape new cadets so they could succeed during Plebe year and thereafter.
Part of a squad leader's duties included teaching new cadets how to use a bayonet, physical drill with a a call and response during the "What is the spirit of the bayonet?" "To kill, sir." Leading this drill stirred something deep in Mr. Donham. A casual call and response about killing repeated over and over. He felt conflicted with not just the casual nature of it but with his religious upbringing to love your neighbor and turn the other cheek. But he was there to do his job as squad leader and put aside his doubts to complete his squad leader duties.
Despite lingering moral questions, Mr. Donham saw a path to finishing at West Point. His academic standing gave him options upon graduation, even a possible path to graduate school. And then the realities of the Vietnam War hit close to home. One of his high school classmates had been killed in Vietnam and then on October 11, 1969, the Vietnam War protest intruded on West Point. Students from Vassar and other nearby colleges marched at the academy and did not stand during the National Anthem. Then he, like the rest of the country, learned about the indiscriminate murder of civilians at My Lai in Vietnam, including the involvement of the then West Point Superintende
250 pages, Paperback
Published May 1, 2025
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
March 9, 2023
Cary Donham made quiet history in his struggle to achieve his morally and ethically motivated desire to leave West Point Academy as a Conscientious Objector with an honorable discharge in his third year as an exemplary cadet. Donham brings the reader into the West Point campus and culture with clear descriptions of the both physical landscape and chronological events of his cadet experience as a Midwestern young man with musical talent, who had lived his prior eighteen years as a leader and achiever. He was one who committed himself to his academics, his athletics, and his service to American and Christian groups. This is a person with admirable traits of dignity, integrity, and humility. His story reveals the bold hypocrisy of the military in the late 60s and early 70s. The tale is suffused with historical and cultural touchpoints that place it in context. Particularly delightful for me were his recountings of the musicians he saw in New York, and later Chicago, as he rises from his trials with the military to embrace his musical interests. Dunham's story is very carefully supported by extensive documentation he acquired through the FOA. It is a tale well told, with mounting tension as he fights for his cause amidst stubborn, illogical resistance that reaches the height of the military and political hierarchy. I most highly recommend this remarkable read.
March 28, 2023
An enjoyable read – a complex subject – Conscientious Objector
Cary Donham grew up in a small Midwestern town that seemed like most any other small Midwestern town in the 1950s and 1960s except his childhood home was near Scott Air Force base so he had a lot of exposure to military life. His father was a WWII veteran and his mother had applied to volunteer in the WAVES so his family history included military service. And like it was for most people living in small Midwestern towns in that era, going to church was a normal part of life for the Donham family. Since Cary had above average academic, athletic and musical skills, West Point seemed like an obvious choice of post-secondary education for him at age 17.
Then it was in bayonet training that an existential dilemma began to stir within him. In his mind and heart, he was caught between the commandment given him by the God that he loved – thou shalt not kill and the commandment given him by the country that he loved – to kill. As Cary matured from age 17 to 20, he wrestled with this dilemma until he felt he had to make a choice and neither of his options was going to be easy. So for Cary, ultimately, God came ahead of country. In his very readable memoir, Cary Donham gives the reader a clear understanding of how he was influenced to go to West Point, how the existential dilemma arose within him, how he wrestled with it over time as he matured, and his resolution – ultimately he applied for conscientious objector status and won in court on appeal despite the Army’s various efforts to deny him this right. I am not a student of law, philosophy, theology, the military, or history but the author made his story very understandable and enjoyable.
Cary Donham grew up in a small Midwestern town that seemed like most any other small Midwestern town in the 1950s and 1960s except his childhood home was near Scott Air Force base so he had a lot of exposure to military life. His father was a WWII veteran and his mother had applied to volunteer in the WAVES so his family history included military service. And like it was for most people living in small Midwestern towns in that era, going to church was a normal part of life for the Donham family. Since Cary had above average academic, athletic and musical skills, West Point seemed like an obvious choice of post-secondary education for him at age 17.
Then it was in bayonet training that an existential dilemma began to stir within him. In his mind and heart, he was caught between the commandment given him by the God that he loved – thou shalt not kill and the commandment given him by the country that he loved – to kill. As Cary matured from age 17 to 20, he wrestled with this dilemma until he felt he had to make a choice and neither of his options was going to be easy. So for Cary, ultimately, God came ahead of country. In his very readable memoir, Cary Donham gives the reader a clear understanding of how he was influenced to go to West Point, how the existential dilemma arose within him, how he wrestled with it over time as he matured, and his resolution – ultimately he applied for conscientious objector status and won in court on appeal despite the Army’s various efforts to deny him this right. I am not a student of law, philosophy, theology, the military, or history but the author made his story very understandable and enjoyable.
June 10, 2023
Full disclosure: Cary is a friend of mine, whom I greatly respect and admire. I met him in the workplace almost 30 years ago. Our talks over coffee were either lighthearted or about legal cases we reviewed in our workplace or about politics. He never spoke of his West Point experience. Over all the years I worked with Cary, however superficial our conversations, I would never doubt his integrity and I was always in awe of his intellect.
That said, it made reading about Cary's evolving beliefs about war and killing all the more wrenching because I know this man to be sensitive and sincere.
Cary's memoir of his time spent at West Point and the personal, spiritual quandary he struggled with, makes for a fascinating read. He chose a rocky and risky road when he ultimately decided to become a Conscientious Objector. He also gave up a full academic scholarship.
It probably wasn't easy reliving this difficult time as Cary wrote his memoir, but it makes for a great read for a civilian, like myself, and it serves as a record of some less-than-ideal processes at the highest level of our military.
That said, it made reading about Cary's evolving beliefs about war and killing all the more wrenching because I know this man to be sensitive and sincere.
Cary's memoir of his time spent at West Point and the personal, spiritual quandary he struggled with, makes for a fascinating read. He chose a rocky and risky road when he ultimately decided to become a Conscientious Objector. He also gave up a full academic scholarship.
It probably wasn't easy reliving this difficult time as Cary wrote his memoir, but it makes for a great read for a civilian, like myself, and it serves as a record of some less-than-ideal processes at the highest level of our military.
December 21, 2023
The book delves into Donham's experiences and the moral conflict he faced as he questioned the purpose of joining West Point when he fundamentally opposed the war. The memoir is a well-crafted narrative, drawing on various sources such as news articles, letters to his parents, and Freedom of Information requests. Donham's meticulous approach to storytelling provides readers with a comprehensive understanding of his struggle against the prevailing military establishment.
One of the central questions the memoir tackles is, "Why join West Point if you didn't believe in war?" Donham's journey is a poignant exploration of his personal convictions and the clash between conscience and convention. While I may not fully comprehend Donham's perspective, I deeply appreciate living in a country where diverse viewpoints can coexist without fear of persecution.
The narrative not only provides insight into the author's individual experience but also serves as a valuable addition to the broader discourse surrounding the Vietnam War. The historical context and Donham's introspective examination of his beliefs offer a different perspective for high school students learning about this tumultuous period in our nation's history.
Donham's website peaceandpolitcs.com, created in conjunction with the memoir, promises a deeper dive into his time at West Point, complete with photographs and Army records. His commitment to sharing his story extends beyond the book, as he explores war and moral issues through regular blog posts on the website titled "Peace and Politics." This connection between his memoir and ongoing reflections adds a dynamic element to the reading experience.
"A Wrinkle in the Long Grey Line" is a thought-provoking memoir that resonates with readers curious about the intersection of personal conviction and military service. Donham's courage to challenge the status quo and his commitment to sharing his journey makes this book not only an enlightening read but also a relevant contribution to the ongoing conversations about war, morality, and the choices we make in the pursuit of our beliefs.
Thank you to the author for the book and my honest review. Find more reviews on my blog: https://www.kimsbookreviewsandwriting...
One of the central questions the memoir tackles is, "Why join West Point if you didn't believe in war?" Donham's journey is a poignant exploration of his personal convictions and the clash between conscience and convention. While I may not fully comprehend Donham's perspective, I deeply appreciate living in a country where diverse viewpoints can coexist without fear of persecution.
The narrative not only provides insight into the author's individual experience but also serves as a valuable addition to the broader discourse surrounding the Vietnam War. The historical context and Donham's introspective examination of his beliefs offer a different perspective for high school students learning about this tumultuous period in our nation's history.
Donham's website peaceandpolitcs.com, created in conjunction with the memoir, promises a deeper dive into his time at West Point, complete with photographs and Army records. His commitment to sharing his story extends beyond the book, as he explores war and moral issues through regular blog posts on the website titled "Peace and Politics." This connection between his memoir and ongoing reflections adds a dynamic element to the reading experience.
"A Wrinkle in the Long Grey Line" is a thought-provoking memoir that resonates with readers curious about the intersection of personal conviction and military service. Donham's courage to challenge the status quo and his commitment to sharing his journey makes this book not only an enlightening read but also a relevant contribution to the ongoing conversations about war, morality, and the choices we make in the pursuit of our beliefs.
Thank you to the author for the book and my honest review. Find more reviews on my blog: https://www.kimsbookreviewsandwriting...
September 6, 2026
A Wrinkle in the Long Gray Line: When Conscience and Convention Collided is a remarkable memoir about conscience, conviction, institutional authority, and the courage required to stand by one's beliefs when doing so carries a profound personal cost. What I appreciated most is Cary Donham's willingness to examine his journey with both honesty and self-reflection. His experience at West Point during the Vietnam War becomes far more than a story about military training; it becomes an intimate exploration of the moment when an institution's expectations collide with an individual's moral and religious convictions. The extensive documentation—including personal letters, contemporary reporting, and Freedom of Information material—also gives the memoir an unusually strong historical foundation.
What makes the book especially memorable is that Donham does not present conscientious objection as an abstract political position. He shows the personal uncertainty, spiritual questioning, institutional pressure, and consequences involved in following conscience to its logical conclusion. His story, including the extraordinary distinction of being the first and only West Point cadet to leave the Academy as a conscientious objector, gives the memoir significance far beyond one historical episode. A compelling and thought-provoking read for anyone interested in military history, the Vietnam era, peace and nonviolence, religious ethics, or the difficult but essential question of what we owe to conscience when convention demands otherwise.
What makes the book especially memorable is that Donham does not present conscientious objection as an abstract political position. He shows the personal uncertainty, spiritual questioning, institutional pressure, and consequences involved in following conscience to its logical conclusion. His story, including the extraordinary distinction of being the first and only West Point cadet to leave the Academy as a conscientious objector, gives the memoir significance far beyond one historical episode. A compelling and thought-provoking read for anyone interested in military history, the Vietnam era, peace and nonviolence, religious ethics, or the difficult but essential question of what we owe to conscience when convention demands otherwise.
September 23, 2023
Carey,
Thank you for sharing your personal journey replete with exposed vulnerabilities and personal insights into your maturation and development as a young adult. You well captured the Vietnam draft era. I was always curious about the experience at a military academy and now I know. Your description of your legal saga was well captured and easy to understand. Congratulations on beating the system and earning an Honorable Discharge!
Graham Grady
Thank you for sharing your personal journey replete with exposed vulnerabilities and personal insights into your maturation and development as a young adult. You well captured the Vietnam draft era. I was always curious about the experience at a military academy and now I know. Your description of your legal saga was well captured and easy to understand. Congratulations on beating the system and earning an Honorable Discharge!
Graham Grady
January 30, 2024
This is a MUST read! It’s a true story that opens your eyes to the anxiety-inducing daily, even hourly incidents for the cadets who entered West Point back in the late 1960s.
This man writes so you don’t want to put the book down! You are enraged at times. You are touched at times. You are inside his head and learn how he comes to decide he is a conscientious objector— and how he has to fight the whole of the U.S. Army to be seen as who he is to the core. You will love it!
This man writes so you don’t want to put the book down! You are enraged at times. You are touched at times. You are inside his head and learn how he comes to decide he is a conscientious objector— and how he has to fight the whole of the U.S. Army to be seen as who he is to the core. You will love it!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews