How to Talk to Yourself

by Ro Mitchell

'We cannot be everything, always, all of the time. And that is a beautiful thing. We are humans, we have limits, we have flaws and we are worthy of love and respect just by existing.'

In How to Talk to Yourself, Ro Mitchell offers a comforting and empowering guiding hand for exploring how to find self-acceptance, be kinder to ourselves, and to approach discipline and success from a new, healthier angle.

After sharing her own recovery story online, Ro discovered that her vulnerability and advice really resonated with her audience, and was a huge eye-opener to the sheer number of people battling self-esteem issues with nobody to listen, to understand, or to help them in proactively making changes.

From unfriending your inner critic to learning to forgive yourself, stopping comparisons to others and navigating a modern world full of unattainable standards, Ro takes you on a journey through her story and offers practical advice and guidance along the way. How to Talk to Yourself is the gentle, nurturing and interactive guide that Ro needed but never had. But now, you do.

217 pages, Kindle Edition

Published July 1, 2025

Reviews

[Esther · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would love to read this in its physical copy vs. its audiobook form, as I could read it at my own pace. An encouraging read! Also, I love the cover design. :)

[Ava · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so special, it’s the reminder everyone needs. I am normally awful at getting through non-fiction books, but I read this in a couple of days, which I think is testament to Ro’s writing style. This book is warm- it feels personal and authentic, and the journal prompts and self-reflexive tasks are a lovely touch. I think my history with an eating disorder made this book particularly touch me, but I think anyone and everyone can find a relatability in it, as it covers so many topics.

[svea xu almerheim · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book arrived in early July, a day lukewarm with hot wind. I started reading immediately. There is something perpetually comforting, genuinely compelling about Ro’s words that I find myself trying to rein myself in while tumbling through storms of emotions arriving with the waves of her words: of awe, of gratitude, of joy, of grief, of love. I hear you, Ro, when you say that years ago you were at the same beach, “sand but no sky” as you kept your sight to the ground, only to find that years later you not only see sand, but also the skylight of pink and purple. The world widens as we recover and un-shrink, literally. Challenges that once seemed impossible “become mountains that you can comfortably climb”: such a powerful mental image—the challenges would be hard no matter what, yet we will have so much more mental space and capacity to process them and overcome them to an extent unfathomable by our previous selves.
I loved particularly chapter 2, where Ro points out that we have deeply engrained desire to constantly improve ourselves, find out flaws and extinguish them. We become this hypervigilant sensor that picks ourselves apart. But really, it’s so limiting to define ourselves as a self-improvement project, as it feeds into our constant fault-sensing behaviour and as Ro puts it, leads to “baseless guilt” (15). This has helped me immensely because as lots of people out there, I’ve been a deep believer in glow-up culture and strived for becoming a “better version of me” throughout my life, throughout childhood and teenage years. And only in the past two years have I been able to let go a little of that prestation, some days just saying eff-it and spark joy by simply existing. Why fix something that’s never broken? (41) I should do it more often. Ro made me reflect on what I love about myself. Why haven’t I ever thought about it? Ever? Until Ro’s gentle reminder strikes a string in my heart.

My favourite part of the book is Part 3, about forgiving yourself. Recovery had meant so much bottled up anger, grief, and deep fury for me, especially when it comes to interactions with loved ones who’s words and comments had triggered me in early teenage years. I did sometimes lash out. “Why would you say something about my body like that now? fully knowing what I’ve been through”, or “why are you telling me to eat when you don’t show me an example”, or perhaps “why are you telling your friends all about my issues as if it’s entertainment?” Sometimes I lash out simply when the family isn’t gathered around at mealtimes and the disordered part of me can’t relax, or when meal plans change and I need to be flexible. But I do need to forgive myself, despite all the guilt and mounting feeling as if I’m a horrible human. I need to forgive myself for learning, for being unable to manage the overwhelming emotions, and inadvertently letting them out in unkind or aggressive ways (156). It’s okay now. I’ve apologized to them for hurting them with my words. And this part of the book has genuinely made me feel less alone in my anger and guilt, though knowing that lashing out is wrong. There’s good and bad in everyone of us, and yet we get to choose what to act on.

All in all, Ro’s book has been a wonder, I look forward to rereading it over and over to again feel the company of a human who’s words truly resonated with me on a deep, deep level.

[catarina ✿ · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book felt like a warm hug 🫂