"...a love letter to a friend, a community, a youthfulness gone, a sweet song to relationship in all its joy and heartbreak."—Eleanor Anstruther, author of In Judgement of Others
"Lamb struck me as only rare books I found myself haunted equally by its joyous celebrations of identity, and the elusive nature of loss we all carry with us."—Kathleen Clare Waller, author of An Interpreter in Vienna
"This is a book that beats with a heart for the growth and joy that comes with loving someone imperfect or strange, someone not everyone can appreciate but who is uniquely worthy nonetheless." —Abra McAndrew, "The Booktender" and Executive Director, Tucson Festival of Books
D is shaken when his mercurial friend Lamb vanishes just before they're set to move in together. The news of his death three years later shadows him like a ghost.
Sifting through Lamb's journals decades later, D uncovers a raw, intimate portrait of a sensitive misfit navigating a world that never understood him.
From their first meeting at an elite all-boys school to the chaos of 1990s San Francisco, Lamb's story unfolds in a tangle of tenderness and rebellion, anguish and adventure. Through journal entries, letters, poetry, and stories, Lamb is a coming-of-age in snapshots that captures the dazed spirit of young men searching for belonging in the aftermath of the AIDS crisis.
A Tales of the City for Generation X—a dark afterparty of gay awakening both aching and unforgettable.
It was good but not quite what I expected based on the blurb, I guess I just expected more of the "mixed media" (snapshot) aspect but in the end it was mostly about the coming of age part with a heavy focus on the before and the pain of being a bullied teen.
Lamb was definitely a little autistic coded (maybe not entirely intentionally), his coming across as both quite intelligent but socially a little inept/unable to accurately read social cues from other people and unable to connect emotionally on the level he needed made him quite the tragic figure. I liked how Ford conveyed that without making it feel like it was the people who loved him's fault, it's easy to forget the gulf between intentions and perception and a large part of this book lives solidly in that gulf.
You really get a sense of what it was like at the time and how much of a different world it was, the anxieties of the time but also that sense that things were somehow fleeting and that while the world was big yours was so very small. This book is quite the unique vibe, I don't think I've read many (or any) books that capture the feeling of the era in such a raw, honest and somehow homesick way, it's well worth the read just for that part.
To make a long story short, it was a bleak, quick and sometimes heartbreakingly beautiful read.
I received an eARC of this book for review consideration, many thanks to Book Whisperer | Sweet Flag Books and Netgalley for the opportunity to read this book.
D.’s friend Lamb drops off his things at their new shared apartment…and then he disappears. Now as is looking through Lamb’s belongings some time later and has found his journals which remind him of his enigmatic friend.
This is a debut novel and it shows, but there is real promise here. Your heart will break a little for Lamb, over and over again.
Let me preface this by saying I was not okay by the end of this book and was crying through my third cup of coffee.
Lamb is a coming-of-age story about a boy who simply wanted to love and be loved for who he was. Told from the perspective of his highschool best friend, D, who lost contact with after Lamb's disappearance, we get an account on what happened throughout Lamb's life; from his high school years at an all-boys boarding school where he met D, when he explored the queer scene after graduating, navigating his sexuality and his continuous attempts at finding a lover, up until his disappearance. This book is told through snapshots of moments D and lamb spent together in their school and university days as D uncovers lamb's journals and writings that he left behind.
I just wanted to say that I care so much for Lamb, and finishing this book felt like letting out a sigh of relief.
Lamb as a character is extremely lovable and a realistic depiction of how one can go through so much and still remain meek and kind to others. It doesnt help that his appearance doesn't match his personality; what with a mohawk and a shaved head, piercings and punk and all; and I so badly wanted him to settle down and find someone who he can truly love and be loved by. Romantic, yes, but that is simply just the nature of Lamb.
It has to be remembered that this book took place in the 80s-90s where the AIDS crisis was an ongoing concern for the gay community. It also showed the reality of being queer in those days. The harassment Lamb faced by the boys and the teachers are a system that was allowed to be set up and incredibly disappointing and infuriating to look at. Why should it be Lamb to take action towards it when it shouldn't have been happening in the first place? In his adult years, Lamb went in and fell out of love so many times that I continued to hope for a decent relationship and cheer him on; but in reality it is so difficult to find people who are decently gay (it was only unfortunate that he kept ending up with...freaks). And because the scene is so heavily tied to drugs, it cannot be helped that Lamb only fell further into this space he was continuously trying to navigate by himself. Even then, it was he himself who asked for help, and I wished I could tell him that he should be proud of himself for doing so.
Initially I was cool with D as our narrator. But then I realized that with Lamb's journals recording his own accounts of things being revealed to us, I Did squint my eyes at D and felt this strong urge to accuse him that he was in the wrong too. But it was also him that knew Lamb best, and it was also him for a lot of the times when Lamb needed someone, so how could I be mad at him? But I definitely felt a simmering resentment for him at the back of my mind based on the fact that I wished he did More. But in the end there are limits to what you can do, and I guess it's only realistic for things to turn out the way it did. Some people you simply cannot save no matter how much or how litte you've done.
This was such a great read. I will go cry in a corner. At this point if this isn't considered a review that's completely fine, I'm just rambling through my tears so do have mercy on me. Finishing this book felt like parting with Lamb as if he was my friend too, and I miss him dearly.
Thank you Netgalley for providing me an ARC copy of this beautiful book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Troy Ford's "Lamb" really got under my skin in the best way possible. What I love most is how complete Lamb is as a character, despite or perhaps because he is pieced together like a messy, beautiful, and tragic mosaic from the fragments of his life using the narrator, D's memories, Lamb’s own raw journal entries, old letters, and even short fiction. This skillful, layered structure renders Lamb through so many different lenses, building a portrait that is deeply human and often heartbreaking.
The book captures the grit, angst, and vulnerability of a gay coming-of-age story in the post-punk 80s. You feel the stark contrast between the forced conformity of places like Wolcott Academy and the desperate search for belonging, whether it's in a smoky club or in confessional conversations about desperately wanting to belong. Seeing Lamb navigate the shyness, the brutal bullying, the confusing first relationships, and later, the descent into substance abuse – all through these fragmented viewpoints creates an unflinching and authentic story that feels intimate.
When a writer with the sensitivity and skills Mr. Ford possesses are brought to bear on such an intricate and well-paced story, the result is a book that will stay with you long after you’ve put it down.
Troy Ford’s Lamb is not merely a novel—it’s a hymn for the soft-hearted, a refuge for the overlooked, and a quiet rebellion against the rigid scaffolding of masculinity. It’s tender and understated, but it packs an emotional punch that stays with you long after you’ve finished. Told through letters, journal entries, and poems, the story slowly builds a portrait of a sensitive soul trying to find his place in a world that often doesn’t know what to do with his own gentleness.
What I loved most about Lamb is how honest and unguarded it feels. The characters aren’t trying to be anything other than who they are—messy, kind, complicated, human. There’s no forced resolution or overly neat ending. Just real people feeling real things. And that’s what makes it so beautiful.
Ford has a way of writing that makes you feel like you’re being let in on a secret—like you’ve found a quiet little corner of the world where things slow down and make sense for a while. It’s a book about queerness and grief, yes, but also about softness, creativity, and what it means to belong.
This story broke my heart a little, but in the best way. I’m so glad it’s in the world.
Lamb is a period piece that spans more than one, but I admire it for its focus on the titular gentle giant Lamb, a man who never fits in and struggles to find where all 6’6” of him belongs. Making Lamb moving is Ford’s decision to tell the story from the outside, letting readers piece together the man after his death from the narrator’s recollections and a box of old journals.
At turns funny, mesmerizing, and terrifying, Lamb depicts a world hostile from all sides during the historical era he was born into. There’s sadness forged in the story simply by the character’s expiration, but my hurt for Lamb knows that he might have felt misplaced in every era.
For a novel that announces the death of its central character on the back cover, Lamb kept me guessing and apprehensive throughout. Like American Horror Story’s NYC-focused eleventh season, I learned about the AIDS crisis, but the narrow lens on one Mohawked misfit made it resonate.
After finishing Lamb, I felt as though I had driven cross-country with my favorite cool gay uncle as he shared precious anecdotes from his boarding school days. The two main characters in the book, D and Lamb, are both unique and utterly believable, and their friendship and individual paths are heartbreakingly lovely. The various sketches that comprise the narrative take on different forms, keeping things lively and engaging, and I particularly appreciated the ones in the form of Lamb's writing. Thematically, the author's treatment of toxic masculinity was particularly potent, and several scenes have stayed with me weeks after finishing the book. This novel is an important addition to the queer canon, providing readers with an achingly tangible experience of what it meant to be a young gay man in America in the 80s and 90s.
"A novel in snapshots" really captures what this is. Through each entry we find out more and more about Lamb and the narrator, D. Captivating, shocking, heartbreaking ("Death and the Bird" chapter, I'm looking at you), beautiful, Troy's writing leaves you with each scene placed vividly in your mind. I found myself devouring each entry, desperate to know more about Lamb and D.
Ford's book is engrossing from start to finish. It's one of the fastest reads I've experienced in a while. The characters and situations are interesting, relatable, and surprising.
A lyrical and deeply moving tribute to friendship, identity, and love, Lamb captures the ache of loss and the raw beauty of self-discovery with unforgettable emotional depth.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
While I expected Lamb to break my heart, I didn't quite expect it to turn it inside out and scoop out its contents in the visceral way it did. This book is brutal yet tender, just like the titular Lamb, and as the narrator, D, sifts through Lamb's belongings to understand him, I think he's also trying to know himself. The fragmentary, non-linear storytelling works well for the story, as D looks through the past.
We're left without an easy answer or resolution. In that way, it's a reflection of life and the illusory nature of memory - how uncertain it is.
The book vaguely reminded me of Hua Hsu's memoir, Stay True, which is also a reflection on a close friend's death (not a spoiler; it's the premise of both books). While the two books are wildly different in style, the hearts behind them are what made me think of it: growing up in a world that doesn't accept you, searching for belonging in the face of loss.
The Publisher Says: D is shaken when his mercurial friend Lamb vanishes just before they're set to move in together. The news of his death three years later shadows him like a ghost.
Sifting through Lamb's journals decades later, D uncovers a raw, intimate portrait of a sensitive misfit navigating a world that never understood him.
From their first meeting at an elite all-boys school to the chaos of 1990s San Francisco, Lamb's story unfolds in a tangle of tenderness and rebellion, anguish and adventure. Through journal entries, letters, poetry, and stories, Lamb is a coming-of-age in snapshots that captures the dazed spirit of young men searching for belonging in the aftermath of the AIDS crisis.
A Tales of the City for Generation X—a dark afterparty of gay awakening both aching and unforgettable.
I RECEIVED A DRC FROM THE PUBLISHER VIA NETGALLEY. THANK YOU.
My Review: A very sweetly remembered lover from the first years of knowing you're queer will always call your heart home. It's this book that tells you why it did for Author Ford.
We all grow older with this kind of memory of our coming of age, if not always coming out. It's the nature of being adolescent in the modern world...finding one's tribe, feeling one's first romantic love (for most anyway) are very deep experiences. Bound up with our particular time and place, they're all a stew of heady, intense, immediate sensations and thoughts and things learned.
It felt very *right* to be in D and in Lamb's heads from the time just that crucial bit ahead of them.
You can't go home again; but you can remember it, you can summon the sensations thoughts feelings to your older self. There are times that is what you need and should seek out. This book will likely do that for boys born in about 1959 through 1966. It felt good to be young then, even if you weren't *happy* you felt you *could* be.
To all y'all born after 1980: I'm so sorry my generation fucked up so very badly. We did you out of this glorious sadness, and we're only ever going to pay for it.
Just finished "LAMB" by Troy Ford. Its subtitle is "A Novel in Snapshots" and that is just what it does. Bit by bit, little by little, it lets you get to know Lamb and his friend "D". You live with them through their journals, letters, poetry, and stories. It lets you discover the depth of their personalities, the depth of their experiences, the depth of their gayness, the depth of their souls.
Presented in bite size chapters, it allowed me to read one or several per night, digest, and then look forward to revisiting them during the next night (or two): their adventures and mis adventures, their joys and their sorrows, their life and death. They spoke to me in very personal ways as I reflected on many of the same escapades which I have experienced, in my case over the last 80 years, but also for anyone at any point in their "growing up".
Normally, I do not like "coming of age" stories but this one was much more. It was captivating, intriguing, and demanding of my nightly attention. I highly recommend "LAMB" to anyone who has grown up gay (male or female), who currently is growing up gay, anyone who has a gay child, anyone who knows someone gay!
Lamb is that rare gem of a book that hits like a bolt out of the blue and breaks your heart wide open. I felt like I was transported to my youth, to my own struggles coming out as a gay man, and introduced to young men who could have been my peers, my friends, my first loves... Troy Ford has created an atmosphere that is part mystery, part love story, and deeply compelling. For men of my generation, this book is like time travel, where Ford recreates moments so real and fresh feeling it is as if you can smell and touch them. No matter your age, gender, or orientation, Lamb is a novel worth reading for an exploration of the depths of human emotion and a study of what it means to be connected to another person.
Lamb is an interesting character study, as much of our narrator as of Lamb himself. I especially appreciated the contrast of making Lamb a 6 foot 6 submissive bottom, constantly struggling to find his place in the world. The variety of vignettes was nice too, tho overall Ford could have pushed them further in terms of genre, the content itself was rather interesting. The 3 part short story especially worked well and had me interested in reading further.
I'm not sure Lamb (the novel) is most people's cup of tea, but there is certainly a subset who will find within it their own people, their own voices, and a connection that more mainstream gay lit may not usually approach.
I received a free copy from netgalley in exchange for an honest review
Lamb is something extraordinary. It’s one of those books that puts down roots. It did for me, anyway, because reading Lamb did something strange. The strength of Ford’s character work is such that I became genuinely convinced I knew the protagonist—truly believed that he and I had been friends, and that my feelings of compassion and concern for him were grounded in our shared history. I’ve never experienced anything like it in literature before. This is what I mean by roots. They grew out from the story, from the character, and into me. On Ford’s part, an absolute triumph.
Look I wasn't expecting this one to be happiness and rainbows but I wasn't expecting it to be so sad either lol. Beautiful but sad.
The nostalgia vibes with this one hit hard, the good and the bad. It gives me the same feel as watching the tv shows on like MTV that I use to watch. You enjoy it but you're a bit depressed over it.
We know it isn't going to end well right from the beginning and even still by the end when you know what to expect comes, it hurts. Lamb I thought was a character you just wanted good things for and life just wasn't kind. Especially for someone so soft (and big). This is a story of coming of age, of self discovery. Unfortunately it's told from another source through found material as Lamb disappeared years ago. And I think because we don't get the stories now directly from Lamb, and therefore there's a lot of things you have to fill in yourself or simply not know, it really adds to the melancholy of it all.
Was an absolutely soul smashing beautiful read. Highly suggest.
The cover though. Wow. Love it.
Thank you Netgalley/Book Whisperer/Sweet Flag Books for the earc.