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Sex and Spirit: Merging Heart and Soul in Love
Drawing on revealing case studies, this frank, groundbreaking guide examines the nature of both male and female orgasm, shows that changes in your self-image can evoke positive changes in your sex life, and teaches how true sexual intimacy can become a transcendent and life-fulfilling experience.
276 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1999
About the author
John Selby
151 books19 followersI was lucky enough to grow up on a cattle ranch in Ojai California, and I still feel deeply grounded in country life. Then at 16 I spent a remarkable exchange-student year living in the bustling city of Durban, South Africa. Ever since, I've felt an integral part of the world community.
Then I went off to Princeton , mostly to satisfy my mother and grandparents. I received a great education, especially in English literature and history - but majored in Psychology, and ended up doing early EEG brain research for NIH studying the cognitive dynamics of meditation and psychedelics. I was my eating club's token cowboy, and fenced on Princeton's varsity team.
Rather than going to Vietnam, an unjust war which I opposed strongly, I went to the San Francisco Theological Seminary and became a Presbyterian minister (my family's faith) and a spiritual therapist. But my driving interest in Buddhist meditation, and my budding friendship with the philosopher Alan Watts, led me away from church work.
Instead I went to L.A. and participated in the American Film Institute's early internship program, studying screenwriting for several years, getting a film agent (Reese Halsey) and working in Hollywood. But there was little interest in my spiritually-grounded screenplays, so I attended the Radix Institute for Integral Therapy, finished my grad work and then worked as a therapist in San Luis Obispo.
All along, I was also developing a cowboy/jazz band with my brother, and working on my fiction and song-writing, A bit bored with the life of a therapist, I headed way down to Guatemala to spend a year at Lago Atitlan, writing songs, researching shamanic practices, and writing my first published book, Powerpoint (Warner). Barely escaping death in Guatemala, I spent almost a year up on my parents' new ranch in Idaho. On a whim I accepted a lecture/seminar tour in Europe - I went for 3 weeks and stayed for 7 remarkable years.
They loved me in West Berlin in the mid-eighties, and I set up a thriving therapy practice, wrote 2 dozen self-help books for the German market - and met my wife Birgitta, who I've been together with ever since. Moving to Switzerland, Birgitta and I developed a new idea (for then) called the self-help cassettebook (100 pages of text leading to an embedded cassette with audio guidance). We sold the concept to a major publisher there, and spent the next 4 years producing 24 cassettebooks. During that time we moved to Santa Fe, New Mexico, then Santa Barbara, then over to Kauai - where we raised our two sons. After the hurricane, we hand-built a sugar shack and lived a quiet country life, writing more books, producing self-help audio and video content, and briefly heading an early online therapy company called BrightMind.
But Kauai was a hard place to advance a writing career, even though we made lots of breakthroughs guiding people in meditation and emotional growth via audio/video support.
In 2010 we moved to our current home in Santa Cruz, where we attempted to interject short-form mindfulness meditation into the Microsoft community, then shifted to Plantronics where we co-produced several at-work mindfulness apps. Realizing the need for professional guidance in the rapidly-expanding cannabis community, we then raised capital and developed the Mindfully High program which includes the Cannabis For Couples book and audiobook, and the High Together App.
I've spent most of my adult life developing a fiction style and genre that's only now matured into serious English literature - it's just taken me that long to realize my deeper vision in fiction. I'm blessed with a great film agent who's shopping the miniseries in Hollywood, so I seem to have come full circle. Right now I' m also helping authors to manifest and publish their books, while continuing to develop new audio and video programs to expand the High Together App. I look forward to your perspective on both my fiction and nonfiction writing!
Then I went off to Princeton , mostly to satisfy my mother and grandparents. I received a great education, especially in English literature and history - but majored in Psychology, and ended up doing early EEG brain research for NIH studying the cognitive dynamics of meditation and psychedelics. I was my eating club's token cowboy, and fenced on Princeton's varsity team.
Rather than going to Vietnam, an unjust war which I opposed strongly, I went to the San Francisco Theological Seminary and became a Presbyterian minister (my family's faith) and a spiritual therapist. But my driving interest in Buddhist meditation, and my budding friendship with the philosopher Alan Watts, led me away from church work.
Instead I went to L.A. and participated in the American Film Institute's early internship program, studying screenwriting for several years, getting a film agent (Reese Halsey) and working in Hollywood. But there was little interest in my spiritually-grounded screenplays, so I attended the Radix Institute for Integral Therapy, finished my grad work and then worked as a therapist in San Luis Obispo.
All along, I was also developing a cowboy/jazz band with my brother, and working on my fiction and song-writing, A bit bored with the life of a therapist, I headed way down to Guatemala to spend a year at Lago Atitlan, writing songs, researching shamanic practices, and writing my first published book, Powerpoint (Warner). Barely escaping death in Guatemala, I spent almost a year up on my parents' new ranch in Idaho. On a whim I accepted a lecture/seminar tour in Europe - I went for 3 weeks and stayed for 7 remarkable years.
They loved me in West Berlin in the mid-eighties, and I set up a thriving therapy practice, wrote 2 dozen self-help books for the German market - and met my wife Birgitta, who I've been together with ever since. Moving to Switzerland, Birgitta and I developed a new idea (for then) called the self-help cassettebook (100 pages of text leading to an embedded cassette with audio guidance). We sold the concept to a major publisher there, and spent the next 4 years producing 24 cassettebooks. During that time we moved to Santa Fe, New Mexico, then Santa Barbara, then over to Kauai - where we raised our two sons. After the hurricane, we hand-built a sugar shack and lived a quiet country life, writing more books, producing self-help audio and video content, and briefly heading an early online therapy company called BrightMind.
But Kauai was a hard place to advance a writing career, even though we made lots of breakthroughs guiding people in meditation and emotional growth via audio/video support.
In 2010 we moved to our current home in Santa Cruz, where we attempted to interject short-form mindfulness meditation into the Microsoft community, then shifted to Plantronics where we co-produced several at-work mindfulness apps. Realizing the need for professional guidance in the rapidly-expanding cannabis community, we then raised capital and developed the Mindfully High program which includes the Cannabis For Couples book and audiobook, and the High Together App.
I've spent most of my adult life developing a fiction style and genre that's only now matured into serious English literature - it's just taken me that long to realize my deeper vision in fiction. I'm blessed with a great film agent who's shopping the miniseries in Hollywood, so I seem to have come full circle. Right now I' m also helping authors to manifest and publish their books, while continuing to develop new audio and video programs to expand the High Together App. I look forward to your perspective on both my fiction and nonfiction writing!
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Displaying 1 - 1 of 1 review
February 26, 2012
This review is focused on both the book and audiobook. Surprisingly, “Sex and Spirit” by John Gray and John Selby proves to be a much better audiobook than “Mars and Venus in the Bedroom.” If Gray had used this book as the basis for his “Mars and Venus” book, it would have been an entirely different and much more fulfilling audiobook. This very introspective audiobook allows the listener to deeply contemplate their sexual actions and experiences in the bedroom.
Preempted by a gently voiced introduction from John Gray, the audiobook consists of four guided meditations accompanied with an addition CD of music to help listeners meditate without spoken-word guidance. Each meditation deals with a separate issue, but serves as a great prelude to the next mediation. The four mediations include “Transcending Sexual Worries,” “Healing Old Heartbreaks,” “Surrending to Passion,” and “Embracing Sexual Union.” These meditations allow the listener to discover or rediscover many answers to their hang-ups about sex without consulting a therapist. The authors encourage listeners to take a long deep look at one’s sexual past, about prior relationships, fears, and insecurities.
Gray and Selby’s method of exploring your own sexual identity will vastly improve the quality of one’s sex life whether in a monogamous relationship or even just dating. Rather than passing the buck or just not understanding that our psyche creates inhibitions in regards to sex, Gray and Selby allow the listener to break down some of those barriers and find ways of better appreciating their own sexual vitality, thereby increasing the quality of their sex lives.
John Gray does the introduction and discussions on the themes of each meditation. He reads these with a gentle ease that warms listeners up to meditation. John Selby runs the guided meditation with a soft musical background allowing the listener to fully relax and follow the guide’s instructions. Selby’s voice is fantastically soothing and manages to loosen up listeners almost immediately.
Ultimately, this audiobook advocates stopping the sex race, appreciating the present and enjoying the individual moments within sex. This lesson can make a world of difference in your sexual experience. This audiobook is highly recommended for anyone who participates in any kind of sexual activity—but particularly those who clearly have inhibitions and mixed emotions when it comes to taking part in the act.
Preempted by a gently voiced introduction from John Gray, the audiobook consists of four guided meditations accompanied with an addition CD of music to help listeners meditate without spoken-word guidance. Each meditation deals with a separate issue, but serves as a great prelude to the next mediation. The four mediations include “Transcending Sexual Worries,” “Healing Old Heartbreaks,” “Surrending to Passion,” and “Embracing Sexual Union.” These meditations allow the listener to discover or rediscover many answers to their hang-ups about sex without consulting a therapist. The authors encourage listeners to take a long deep look at one’s sexual past, about prior relationships, fears, and insecurities.
Gray and Selby’s method of exploring your own sexual identity will vastly improve the quality of one’s sex life whether in a monogamous relationship or even just dating. Rather than passing the buck or just not understanding that our psyche creates inhibitions in regards to sex, Gray and Selby allow the listener to break down some of those barriers and find ways of better appreciating their own sexual vitality, thereby increasing the quality of their sex lives.
John Gray does the introduction and discussions on the themes of each meditation. He reads these with a gentle ease that warms listeners up to meditation. John Selby runs the guided meditation with a soft musical background allowing the listener to fully relax and follow the guide’s instructions. Selby’s voice is fantastically soothing and manages to loosen up listeners almost immediately.
Ultimately, this audiobook advocates stopping the sex race, appreciating the present and enjoying the individual moments within sex. This lesson can make a world of difference in your sexual experience. This audiobook is highly recommended for anyone who participates in any kind of sexual activity—but particularly those who clearly have inhibitions and mixed emotions when it comes to taking part in the act.
Displaying 1 - 1 of 1 review