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Watching Porn With Leatherface
A collection of bizarre & erotic stories, including 'Semen Demon', 'Greg's Pecker Must Be Destroyed' and 'Sex, Booze & Power Tools.'
488 pages, ebook
First published May 13, 2014
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
October 17, 2018
So much to say...
First, lets start with the book's appearance. Nice cover, huh? That's right, people, I lack the technical skills to get this book with its info on Goodreads! Imagine my surprise when I discovered another book with this brilliant title (by a different author) on this site - and that one is probably exactly what you think it is.
What attracted me to this book? It's a damn brilliant title, you have to admit. And did you read that description? Of course you haven't! Hello...what I lack in technical skills I try to make up for in sarcasm.
So, this book consists of two parts. The first 48% is articles about movies - the best of the worse and the worse of the best - with headings like:
20 _____________ movies you should see before you die.
20 _____________ movies you should die before you see.
This is what originally attracted me to this book.
The second part consists of a few bizarro stories. I will admit that I couldn't get through them - this was my third attempt at bizarro fiction and I'm ready to admit that it is not my genre.
So, this review is about the first half of the book only. Here goes:
Okay, I get it. I used to be a movie buff -
This is an explanation of that statement, it is in italics so you can skip it if you want.
Since I can remember I've loved movies. It was something special I shared with my grandmother. We were happiest when we were allowed to go to the cinema while the rest of the family had something else to do. For both of us, once the lights go out, we were transported, and even the idea of talking to each other during that time was sacrilege.
When I was in school, I had a contact who worked at the cinema. If I couldn't sneak in, I paid pensioner price (it was something they had when I was young, about a fourth of a normal ticket price.)
After school, I had two friends who worked at video stores (The younger readers will have to Google that, I'm sure.)
In 2006, I bought THE VIDEO / DVD GUIDE 2006, highlighted the movies I had seen and counted them. I came in at just below 4000.
Does that make me a movie buff? Well, I'm not so sure by today's standards, where everything is so easily accessible, but where I grew up, I was ahead of everybody else I knew. I used to kick ass with Six degrees of...
As I get older, my taste has changed a lot. Gone are the days where I could enjoy the blood and gore simply because it is blood and gore, where a guy with a six-shooter can shoot eight bullets, where I can watch slapstick comedy or any stupid old thing and enjoy it. These days, I want a brilliant story with a brilliant twist.
On average, I see about one or two movies a month.
So, yes, I get that some movies are so bad that you actually enjoy them more than a supposedly "good" movie. In fact, when I used to go into the video store - many moons ago - I always went to the horror rack first, because I felt that if you get a bad horror, you at least get a fairly decent comedy. Every now and then, there was a surprisingly good movie hidden between the obscure titles - the movie IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS comes to mind.
I get it. I understand exactly what the author was trying to say. I can appreciate that he thinks Michael Bay is Satan himself, I understand the frustration of the "More is more" approach at the expense of the story. Hell, I was a fan of MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATRE 3000 myself.
And sarcasm gets my respect, most of the time.
But, fuck me, I hope I never come off as annoying and pretentious as this guy.
Here's the thing:
I don't agree with EVERYTHING he had to say, but I did find it amusing. However, in small doses, it should be manageable, but to read through everything like a normal book, it's just too much.
First, lets start with the book's appearance. Nice cover, huh? That's right, people, I lack the technical skills to get this book with its info on Goodreads! Imagine my surprise when I discovered another book with this brilliant title (by a different author) on this site - and that one is probably exactly what you think it is.
What attracted me to this book? It's a damn brilliant title, you have to admit. And did you read that description? Of course you haven't! Hello...what I lack in technical skills I try to make up for in sarcasm.
So, this book consists of two parts. The first 48% is articles about movies - the best of the worse and the worse of the best - with headings like:
20 _____________ movies you should see before you die.
20 _____________ movies you should die before you see.
This is what originally attracted me to this book.
The second part consists of a few bizarro stories. I will admit that I couldn't get through them - this was my third attempt at bizarro fiction and I'm ready to admit that it is not my genre.
So, this review is about the first half of the book only. Here goes:
Okay, I get it. I used to be a movie buff -
This is an explanation of that statement, it is in italics so you can skip it if you want.
Since I can remember I've loved movies. It was something special I shared with my grandmother. We were happiest when we were allowed to go to the cinema while the rest of the family had something else to do. For both of us, once the lights go out, we were transported, and even the idea of talking to each other during that time was sacrilege.
When I was in school, I had a contact who worked at the cinema. If I couldn't sneak in, I paid pensioner price (it was something they had when I was young, about a fourth of a normal ticket price.)
After school, I had two friends who worked at video stores (The younger readers will have to Google that, I'm sure.)
In 2006, I bought THE VIDEO / DVD GUIDE 2006, highlighted the movies I had seen and counted them. I came in at just below 4000.
Does that make me a movie buff? Well, I'm not so sure by today's standards, where everything is so easily accessible, but where I grew up, I was ahead of everybody else I knew. I used to kick ass with Six degrees of...
As I get older, my taste has changed a lot. Gone are the days where I could enjoy the blood and gore simply because it is blood and gore, where a guy with a six-shooter can shoot eight bullets, where I can watch slapstick comedy or any stupid old thing and enjoy it. These days, I want a brilliant story with a brilliant twist.
On average, I see about one or two movies a month.
So, yes, I get that some movies are so bad that you actually enjoy them more than a supposedly "good" movie. In fact, when I used to go into the video store - many moons ago - I always went to the horror rack first, because I felt that if you get a bad horror, you at least get a fairly decent comedy. Every now and then, there was a surprisingly good movie hidden between the obscure titles - the movie IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS comes to mind.
I get it. I understand exactly what the author was trying to say. I can appreciate that he thinks Michael Bay is Satan himself, I understand the frustration of the "More is more" approach at the expense of the story. Hell, I was a fan of MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATRE 3000 myself.
And sarcasm gets my respect, most of the time.
But, fuck me, I hope I never come off as annoying and pretentious as this guy.
Here's the thing:
I don't agree with EVERYTHING he had to say, but I did find it amusing. However, in small doses, it should be manageable, but to read through everything like a normal book, it's just too much.
December 16, 2023
Great title but boring.
October 16, 2015
The frustrating thing about being a fan of Ian Watson is that he is rarely content to publish anything only once, and often publishes variant versions of the same story. It’s deja vu all over again.
This evocatively titled book brings together two stories - Semen Demon (which has appeared also as a stand alone ebook - Semen Demon, though I can’t confirm whether that is the same version, and Greg’s Pecker Must Be Destroyed (which is a variation on a story which has previously appeared as Nymphomaniac Cop, Nymphomaniac Cop : Rise of the Monster and Satyromaniac Cop and as Nymphomaniac Cop in the collection Deeply Odd.)
What you get here are sleazy, gory, action-packed stories about killer genitals which reflect Watson’s obsessions with Frank Henenlotter movies, the Scooby Doo television show, Lucio Fulci and dissing Michael Bay.
I wasn’t so keen on the first part of Semen Demon because it deals with a whole bunch of soldiers whose identities I had trouble keeping straight. When the action introduces about ten characters at once who are all soldiers, more care needs to be put into establishing their personalities or giving them distinguishing characteristics, otherwise it is just a bunch of names and keeping track of who is doing what requires more effort than it should. Still, it has some funny moments and effective scenes of horror, and I took a liking to the heroine.
The Smashwords edition I read didn’t contain Sex, Booze & Power Tools, unfortunately. Perhaps that was exclusive to the Kindle edition.
As I've indicated Greg’s Pecker Must Be Destroyed wasn’t entirely new to me, since I’ve read at least two previous versions of the same story, and I think there may be two more I haven't got to yet. This did have a bunch of action that was new to me, however, and a more developed relationship between hero and heroine. So it was worth the read, even with the familiar passages.
Has Watson finished with this story? Perhaps, given the variations he has worked in the plot in previous versions, he could weave them all together and create an R. L. Stine-style Choose-Your-Own-Adventure book.
One minor detail I couldn’t help but notice. There is a sentence which begins “Seymour crashed at the statue’s base and lay a while…” This scene is set in the porn production area of Los Angeles. So what statue is being referred to? The answer may lie in the fact that, in previous versions of the story this same scene took place at the base of the Statue of Liberty in New York.
Have I whetted your appetite to read this book? Tough luck. It appears to be no longer available. The lesson? If you are an Ian Watson completist, be sure to grab his books soon after publication. (And note that he is also writing as Duane Bradley.)
This evocatively titled book brings together two stories - Semen Demon (which has appeared also as a stand alone ebook - Semen Demon, though I can’t confirm whether that is the same version, and Greg’s Pecker Must Be Destroyed (which is a variation on a story which has previously appeared as Nymphomaniac Cop, Nymphomaniac Cop : Rise of the Monster and Satyromaniac Cop and as Nymphomaniac Cop in the collection Deeply Odd.)
What you get here are sleazy, gory, action-packed stories about killer genitals which reflect Watson’s obsessions with Frank Henenlotter movies, the Scooby Doo television show, Lucio Fulci and dissing Michael Bay.
I wasn’t so keen on the first part of Semen Demon because it deals with a whole bunch of soldiers whose identities I had trouble keeping straight. When the action introduces about ten characters at once who are all soldiers, more care needs to be put into establishing their personalities or giving them distinguishing characteristics, otherwise it is just a bunch of names and keeping track of who is doing what requires more effort than it should. Still, it has some funny moments and effective scenes of horror, and I took a liking to the heroine.
The Smashwords edition I read didn’t contain Sex, Booze & Power Tools, unfortunately. Perhaps that was exclusive to the Kindle edition.
As I've indicated Greg’s Pecker Must Be Destroyed wasn’t entirely new to me, since I’ve read at least two previous versions of the same story, and I think there may be two more I haven't got to yet. This did have a bunch of action that was new to me, however, and a more developed relationship between hero and heroine. So it was worth the read, even with the familiar passages.
Has Watson finished with this story? Perhaps, given the variations he has worked in the plot in previous versions, he could weave them all together and create an R. L. Stine-style Choose-Your-Own-Adventure book.
One minor detail I couldn’t help but notice. There is a sentence which begins “Seymour crashed at the statue’s base and lay a while…” This scene is set in the porn production area of Los Angeles. So what statue is being referred to? The answer may lie in the fact that, in previous versions of the story this same scene took place at the base of the Statue of Liberty in New York.
Have I whetted your appetite to read this book? Tough luck. It appears to be no longer available. The lesson? If you are an Ian Watson completist, be sure to grab his books soon after publication. (And note that he is also writing as Duane Bradley.)
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