Mother, I'm Not an Android

by Vincenzo Bilof

Invalids. Androids. Robots. Humans. What’s the difference? Brian Demesne knows, because he’s very human; emotionless and unsympathetic. The streets of Los Angeles are crawling with over-emotional androids, biologically-damaged invalids, and mechanized robots, and Brian can’t stand it. Better to kill the invalids, although it’s not a good idea to accidentally create a cockroach that has decided to get revenge on humans by killing them. But Brian has been accused of killing a human, which he would never do. Even worse, a prostitute named Cindy may have stolen his bike. As long as Brian can avoid the acid-baths that are publically broadcast over the city, life is just fine the way it is, or might be.

Genres: Bizarro Fiction

95 pages, Paperback

First published April 1, 2014

About the author

"We already have Brautigan, Vonnegut, and Russ Meyer but who can claim to be Vincenzo Bilof?"
--The Novel Pursuit

From Detroit, Michigan, Vincenzo Bilof has been called “The Metallica of Poetry” and “The Shakespeare of Gore”. With a body of work that includes gritty, apocalyptic horror (The Zombie Ascension Series), surrealist prose (The Horror Show), and visceral genre satire (Vampire Strippers from Saturn), Bilof’s fiction remains as divisive and controversial as it is original. He likes to think Ezra Pound, T.S. Eliot, and Charles Baudelaire would be proud of his work. More likely, Ed Wood would have been his biggest fan.

During the day, Bilof repairs arcade machines in semi-operational billiards clubs, or he chases his children around the house in between episodes of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
You can check out his blog here: http://vincenzobilof.blogspot.com/

Gonzo is his favorite Muppet.

Reviews

[Janie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brian Demesne is indignant.  The police have accused him of killing a man in the next building.  Of course Brian didn't kill him.  He killed his neighbor across the hall.  Can't anyone get their facts straight?  Now Brian has to go to the police station before showering or washing his apartment doorknob.  Brian know the rules.  It is ok to kill an invalid, or a person of little worth.  It is not acceptable to kill normal humans, robots or androids.  Brian can tell the difference, and he is on a mission to rid the city of filth.  Most of the prostitutes are human, but what of butterfly man?  And how does one judge a giant cockroach that loves human meat?  While pursuing the girl who stole his bicycle, Brian learns the facts about his best friend and uses for pasta.  It seems that Brian is getting emotional, an android trait.  The last thing he needs is a public acid bath.  This short novel takes the reader on a hallucinatory trip through an unfamiliar Los Angeles, where prostitutes stroll nude and children play in sunlight domes.  Feelings of paranoia and victimization prevail, and the ending is a revelation.  Highly recommended.  

[Jeremy Maddux · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is quite possibly my favorite Dynatox Ministries release to date. It follows the story and exploits of a robot factory worker who spends his time with a guy named Greg interrogating prostitutes to determine if they're robots, androids or 'invalids' (which is basically everyone in town as the criteria becomes looser and looser). This is a world where acid baths are televised due to popular demand, where Batman slippers can unravel a detective's entire case, where mothers can be cruel and cockroaches can be nourished until they become giant cigar chomping vermin and forcing angel hair pasta into the vaginal cavities of sex workers is done without batting an eye.

What I like best about Vincenzo is how he managed to keep the plot threads pseudo-elusive while not allowing the characters and plot to look skeletal or disembodied, as I've had a major problem with as far as esoteric works in the past. Vincenzo dispenses just enough information to keep you invested while still playing keep away with the major reveals, almost like a trail of bread crumbs.

If you haven't read it, I highly recommend his Severed Press offering 'Japanese Werewolf Apocalypse', which deals with all sorts of social issues such as gender politics, the philosophy of war and time travel. It's gritty, brutal, thought provoking and visceral.

[Rodney · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had been meaning to review this sooner, but failed miserably, especially considering how well done this book is. The scenes, the dialogue, and the pacing are perfect. Brian seems to slowly unravel more and more as we get further in the book. While deeming himself the one who must rid the earth of the lower beings, chronologically he seems more confused when identifying them. The lasting image of Kafka the cockroach and the mystery of his true identity really added to the sense of paranoia that often dominates Brian's day to day activities. When all was said and done, I have to say that I really enjoyed this. The author certainly deserves more of my time.
Hand numbered copy 20 of 50.

[Teresa · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOWZA!!! I recommend you buy this book ASAP. It starts of with one hell of a bang, and continues on throughout the entire book at breakneck speed. I promise you- you won't be able to put this book down. You know how you get a book and you kinda browse through it before putting it on the 'to-read' shelf? Well, I started flipping through, and before I knew it, it was time work, and despite the fact that I was already in the middle of a book, this became my new NOW READING book. It just sucks you in faster than you could have thought possible.
The storyline revolves around one Brian, who is definitely human. Like, he's NOT an android or a robot. Not even close. Or is he? His perils, problems, and penis lead us through one hell of a crazy day for our protagonist (antagonist?). Giant talking cockroaches named Kafka, android prostitutes with shaven vaginas, acid baths for invalids, and a best buddy that likes to shove spaghetti in girls' *ahem* 'hoo-ha' all show up in this book. And, of course it wouldn't be complete without head-popping action. So, what I wanna know is is Brian an android or not? Its an answer you can only find one way- READ THE BOOK!!!!

[Jamie Grefe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bilof has made something really special here, a fast-paced, strange and paranoia-infused sci-fi novel(la) that blends character and action in an effective way. I read this book in one day. This book follows our protagonist through a bleak city filled with androids, invalids, cockroaches, televised acid baths, prostitution, stolen bikes, and Christmas cards. Bilof does such a good job drawing us into each scene and balances the strangeness of this story with unexpected turns and odd character choices that all make sense in the context of the piece. I'm not sure if set out to alter my view of the uses of spaghetti, but he did. He really did.

Furthermore, Bilof has such a satisfying way of drawing us into this world and making it believable. He achieves this through a mixture of effective dialogue, staging, and character development. Our list-obsessed protagonist is just as confused as we would probably be, but he knows the terrain--this world is his home and Bilof makes that easy for us to digest and believe.

Perhaps this book could be seen as some kind of PKD, Takashi Miike, and David Cronenberg mash-up that wins without falling into any kind of cliche territory. He's got his own thing going here. It's worth your time.