The academic 1% consists of people who have completed a research doctoral degree. Anyone is welcome to apply to the club. There are no quotas. No limit on the number of members. However, the entrance requirements are daunting. You’ll need to complete doctoral course work, perhaps pass a comprehensive exam, and, finally, complete a dissertation. It is this last requirement that prevents more than half who start to fail. They succumb to the lure of writing a brilliant dissertation. This path inevitably leads to failure. What club members know is that the best dissertation is a done dissertation. Contained in this concise handbook is confidential information on how to get to a done dissertation. Use the wisdom discretely for some club members prefer secrecy. A rogue group of club members joined together to share their secrets in hopes of helping inductees navigate what at times may feel like academic hazing. Getting to done, even with a great topic, is a humbling experience. Here you will discover secrets that will help you get to a done dissertation. There is no guarantee you will get in—but you will be prepared.