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The Dead Girl's Guide to Terminal Cancer: A True Tale of Anxiety, Horror, & Hope
"This darkly humorous and poignant memoir chronicles her defiant journey through misdiagnosis, medical apathy, and the
harrowing realities of end-stage cancer care.... A book that will show you to never doubt your intuition and hand your power over to others. A book I couldn't put down. Gina's story will inspire you to fight for yourself, even when all seems lost."
- Taryn Gray, Centred Magazine (Australia)
This is not a normal cancer story. It has some sad parts. It has some moments of joy in random and odd places. It has terror. It has an abundance of anger, ego and self determination. I suppose I could name all the adjectives and they’d fit somewhere that year.
I spent a lot of 2019 with my heart in the wrong place. Not metaphorically, but physically. My tumors created their own black hole, and it was moving my organs across my chest. I lived most of the year with my lung either partially or fully crushed. I was a list of medical problems too long to fix.
If we were to meet in January of 2019, and not again until January 2020, you wouldn’t know I had survived eight different death sentences. In fact, you might think I took the year off, or had just returned from an extended vacation.
But I went to hell. It was a trip—not sure I’d call it a vacation. Which begs the How did I not only cheat death, but come out of cancer healthier than I went in?
Honestly, it’s not all that complicated. Anytime someone asks me what saved my life, I answer truthfully.
Pudding.
harrowing realities of end-stage cancer care.... A book that will show you to never doubt your intuition and hand your power over to others. A book I couldn't put down. Gina's story will inspire you to fight for yourself, even when all seems lost."
- Taryn Gray, Centred Magazine (Australia)
This is not a normal cancer story. It has some sad parts. It has some moments of joy in random and odd places. It has terror. It has an abundance of anger, ego and self determination. I suppose I could name all the adjectives and they’d fit somewhere that year.
I spent a lot of 2019 with my heart in the wrong place. Not metaphorically, but physically. My tumors created their own black hole, and it was moving my organs across my chest. I lived most of the year with my lung either partially or fully crushed. I was a list of medical problems too long to fix.
If we were to meet in January of 2019, and not again until January 2020, you wouldn’t know I had survived eight different death sentences. In fact, you might think I took the year off, or had just returned from an extended vacation.
But I went to hell. It was a trip—not sure I’d call it a vacation. Which begs the How did I not only cheat death, but come out of cancer healthier than I went in?
Honestly, it’s not all that complicated. Anytime someone asks me what saved my life, I answer truthfully.
Pudding.
411 pages, Kindle Edition
Published December 10, 2024
42 people are currently reading
1177 people want to read
About the author
Eugenia Mancini Horan
1 book14 followersEugenia Mancini Horan is an artist, lifelong anxiety sufferer and an early patient of humor and laughter as her medicine. She spent 2019 finding, then fighting stage 4 lung cancer and defeating it by 2020, most likely one of the coolest things she’s done. That year in the medical system as an end-stage cancer patient with a doctor sworn promise of 0% odds of living through August 2019 gave her a unique perspective about illness and survival. She proudly mothers two questionably behaved dogs and is married to the man who carried her everywhere that year she couldn’t walk
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
April 28, 2025
So Much To Say
First, I have to say that aside from the lung cancer which is horrible and scary enough, I don't think I would have been strong enough to go through all that Eugenia "Gina" Mancini Horan did with the abusive doctor and CNA's/techs that she encountered. But I would for CERTAIN (and would definitely recommend) put in a formal complaint with the licensing board against these individuals because they should NOT under ANY circumstances be doing one on one care for vulnerable populations!!
That being said, one point I must make about this book is that because the author mentioned time in the I.C.U when she was experiencing hallucinations, delusions, high fevers, "sundown psychosis" and extreme anxiety history and panic attacks, I had a hard time discerning in the situation mentioned above, "Did she REALLY encounter that many cruel and incompetent caregivers OR, was that part of the hallucinations and probably exacerbated by the benzodiazepines she was on?" I STILL don't know the answer to this but I wish I did. In addition and on a related note, the ongoing throughout the book, clinging and "conversations" between the author and "Pooh" (Winnie the Pooh) really does make one question what is real in that I at one point questioned if the cancer had spread to her brain and "Hopefully Gina knows the bear can't really talk to her!?"
The book itself is a strong one in that the author writes well, is VERY open and honest about things some wouldn't discuss, she is down to earth and has a sense of humor. On the other hand, sometimes to be equally real, I felt she was behaving like a brat. For example, when you are given a diagnosis of lung cancer and you acknowledge that it is the "deadliest cancer" out there yet you tell your doctor you are refusing chemo, or are admitted to the hospital and throw a fit because they have to put in an I.V., or you are asked to get into a hospital gown, it DOES cause one to ask themselves "HOW old is this person again? Why is she acting like a spoiled brat? Doesn't she WANT the best chance at life? If so, throw everything you can at it because if you are freaking out over a simple i.v., how in the heck do you expect to survive cancer treatments?" BUT, that's just me and everyone has their own ways of dealing with life altering news and the stress that comes with it. One person might choose chemo, another radiation, still another may choose both, a fourth person may decline any treatment because of the advanced stage and other factors.
Gina felt led to ask for a very specific medication that came to her while still hospitalized. I personally feel that had to be God because it turned out to be exactly what her cancer responded to. I wish with everything in me, I'd have read this book in early 2023 so that by July 2023 when my dear mom was diagnosed a second time with lung cancer, I'd have known to at least explore that same medication AND radiation with her doctors. But she was much older and had already lost a large part of one lung in 2011 so maybe it wouldn't have helped but the hospital she was in didn't try ANY treatment. What a helpless feeling.
I would recommend this book. Once I started reading I was definitely hooked!
First, I have to say that aside from the lung cancer which is horrible and scary enough, I don't think I would have been strong enough to go through all that Eugenia "Gina" Mancini Horan did with the abusive doctor and CNA's/techs that she encountered. But I would for CERTAIN (and would definitely recommend) put in a formal complaint with the licensing board against these individuals because they should NOT under ANY circumstances be doing one on one care for vulnerable populations!!
That being said, one point I must make about this book is that because the author mentioned time in the I.C.U when she was experiencing hallucinations, delusions, high fevers, "sundown psychosis" and extreme anxiety history and panic attacks, I had a hard time discerning in the situation mentioned above, "Did she REALLY encounter that many cruel and incompetent caregivers OR, was that part of the hallucinations and probably exacerbated by the benzodiazepines she was on?" I STILL don't know the answer to this but I wish I did. In addition and on a related note, the ongoing throughout the book, clinging and "conversations" between the author and "Pooh" (Winnie the Pooh) really does make one question what is real in that I at one point questioned if the cancer had spread to her brain and "Hopefully Gina knows the bear can't really talk to her!?"
The book itself is a strong one in that the author writes well, is VERY open and honest about things some wouldn't discuss, she is down to earth and has a sense of humor. On the other hand, sometimes to be equally real, I felt she was behaving like a brat. For example, when you are given a diagnosis of lung cancer and you acknowledge that it is the "deadliest cancer" out there yet you tell your doctor you are refusing chemo, or are admitted to the hospital and throw a fit because they have to put in an I.V., or you are asked to get into a hospital gown, it DOES cause one to ask themselves "HOW old is this person again? Why is she acting like a spoiled brat? Doesn't she WANT the best chance at life? If so, throw everything you can at it because if you are freaking out over a simple i.v., how in the heck do you expect to survive cancer treatments?" BUT, that's just me and everyone has their own ways of dealing with life altering news and the stress that comes with it. One person might choose chemo, another radiation, still another may choose both, a fourth person may decline any treatment because of the advanced stage and other factors.
Gina felt led to ask for a very specific medication that came to her while still hospitalized. I personally feel that had to be God because it turned out to be exactly what her cancer responded to. I wish with everything in me, I'd have read this book in early 2023 so that by July 2023 when my dear mom was diagnosed a second time with lung cancer, I'd have known to at least explore that same medication AND radiation with her doctors. But she was much older and had already lost a large part of one lung in 2011 so maybe it wouldn't have helped but the hospital she was in didn't try ANY treatment. What a helpless feeling.
I would recommend this book. Once I started reading I was definitely hooked!
May 3, 2025
As someone who has walked the harrowing path of watching a loved one battle illness—and ultimately lose that battle—A Dead Girl’s Guide to Terminal Cancer hit me in places I didn’t realize were still bleeding. Gina didn’t just write about dying; she wrote about living while dying, and there’s a raw, unapologetic beauty in her truth that cracked open spaces in me I thought I’d sealed shut after losing Steve.
What makes this book so powerful isn’t just the candor with which Gina faces her diagnosis, but the way she invites the reader into her laughter, her rage, her exhaustion, her fleeting moments of joy. As a spouse, I recognized the silences, the awkward jokes, the days of fighting to keep it together while everything feels like it’s falling apart. Through her story, I felt seen—not just as someone who has grieved, but as someone who loved deeply through the mess of illness and loss.
Gina’s voice is uniquely hers—witty, irreverent, painfully honest—and it reminded me so much of the kind of resilience Steve had. Reading her words helped me give myself permission to laugh at the absurd, cry without shame, and—perhaps most importantly—begin to forgive myself for the moments I couldn’t fix or control.
There’s a sacredness in this book, not because it’s polished and pretty, but because it’s real. For anyone who has loved and lost, who has stood at the edge of the unknown and whispered goodbye too soon, A Dead Girl’s Guide to Terminal Cancer offers more than a story—it offers a lifeline. For me, it helped close wounds I didn’t even have the courage to face until now.
Thank you, Gina, for helping me heal in the spaces grief forgot.
What makes this book so powerful isn’t just the candor with which Gina faces her diagnosis, but the way she invites the reader into her laughter, her rage, her exhaustion, her fleeting moments of joy. As a spouse, I recognized the silences, the awkward jokes, the days of fighting to keep it together while everything feels like it’s falling apart. Through her story, I felt seen—not just as someone who has grieved, but as someone who loved deeply through the mess of illness and loss.
Gina’s voice is uniquely hers—witty, irreverent, painfully honest—and it reminded me so much of the kind of resilience Steve had. Reading her words helped me give myself permission to laugh at the absurd, cry without shame, and—perhaps most importantly—begin to forgive myself for the moments I couldn’t fix or control.
There’s a sacredness in this book, not because it’s polished and pretty, but because it’s real. For anyone who has loved and lost, who has stood at the edge of the unknown and whispered goodbye too soon, A Dead Girl’s Guide to Terminal Cancer offers more than a story—it offers a lifeline. For me, it helped close wounds I didn’t even have the courage to face until now.
Thank you, Gina, for helping me heal in the spaces grief forgot.
April 16, 2025
This is not the kind of book I usually pick up but the cover just called to me so I downloaded a sample on kindle and got so involved that I could not put it down. Who would think that a book about a stage 4 terminally ill lung cancer patient riddled with anxiety would be such an uplifting fun read and have you rooting for the good guy (the patient) in her fight of her life against unimaginative, blasé, and arrogant medical teams (aka the bad guys). To be honest, Gina, the author and patient is a bit of an anomaly. Extremely verbal and expressive she is not to be forced into any treatment but needed to be gently led. Past trauma has caused her to develop the flight part of the fight or flight response and medical personnel didn’t know how to understand her noncompliance.
Through mishaps, forgotten appointments, and a whole variety of mixed signals, she ended up at 60 pounds at her lowest, starving, unable to speak due to a trach tube and given 3 days to live. Still mentally sharp, she and her husband decide to leave the hospital because she by golly is not going to die!
Her story is poignant, hilarious, and for a person who can’t speak, she sure gets people told!
Spoiler alert! She makes it and writes this book and now advocates for patients everywhere.
Excellent!
Through mishaps, forgotten appointments, and a whole variety of mixed signals, she ended up at 60 pounds at her lowest, starving, unable to speak due to a trach tube and given 3 days to live. Still mentally sharp, she and her husband decide to leave the hospital because she by golly is not going to die!
Her story is poignant, hilarious, and for a person who can’t speak, she sure gets people told!
Spoiler alert! She makes it and writes this book and now advocates for patients everywhere.
Excellent!
October 3, 2025
I’d like to start off by saying that I don’t usually read non-fiction as I usually use reading to escape reality. That mixed with starting this right before a move across the country, and thus taking a few weeks off from reading, it took me a while to finish this book. I don’t know why I feel the need to explain myself here but there it is.
Anyway, I found this book written extremely well and I couldn’t help but fall in love with the author’s literary voice. She has such a way with words that captures the struggles she went through. That being said, the events and situations she experienced were terrifying. I personally also have an anxiety disorder and I understand the feeling of helplessness because I generally can’t speak for myself. The fact that so many medical professionals feel that they can treat a patient any which way because they’re “dying” is disgusting to say the least.
I noticed a few comments that said they have a hard time believing the author because the events sound exaggerated or too extreme. There have been a number of patients that have come forward saying that they were mistreated by doctors, nurses, etc. and many of those people weren’t given a terminal diagnosis. There is also plenty of media that shows the disturbing things people are capable of doing. I have been lucky enough to never have to stay overnight in a hospital (for myself anyway), and so I couldn’t say for myself if I’ve ever been mistreated by medical personnel, but nothing really surprises me much these days.
I am very happy that the author wrote this and shared with the world her experiences to showcase the atrocities happening in the medical field today. I’m glad she escaped with her life and is with us still. Also, bless nurse Seth for his role in that as well :)
Anyway, I found this book written extremely well and I couldn’t help but fall in love with the author’s literary voice. She has such a way with words that captures the struggles she went through. That being said, the events and situations she experienced were terrifying. I personally also have an anxiety disorder and I understand the feeling of helplessness because I generally can’t speak for myself. The fact that so many medical professionals feel that they can treat a patient any which way because they’re “dying” is disgusting to say the least.
I noticed a few comments that said they have a hard time believing the author because the events sound exaggerated or too extreme. There have been a number of patients that have come forward saying that they were mistreated by doctors, nurses, etc. and many of those people weren’t given a terminal diagnosis. There is also plenty of media that shows the disturbing things people are capable of doing. I have been lucky enough to never have to stay overnight in a hospital (for myself anyway), and so I couldn’t say for myself if I’ve ever been mistreated by medical personnel, but nothing really surprises me much these days.
I am very happy that the author wrote this and shared with the world her experiences to showcase the atrocities happening in the medical field today. I’m glad she escaped with her life and is with us still. Also, bless nurse Seth for his role in that as well :)
February 22, 2025
This memoir is an amazing testament to love! It is also a scathing (but necessary) rebuke to the medical professionals who- through neglect, misdiagnosis, and/or downright lack of care and meanness, made Gina’s life a living (dying) Hell.
Gina refused to take their word that she had no chance to survive and ended up taking matters into her own hands. Thankfully she did survive to tell her tale!
It is a wild one.
Gina has a stinging wit that cuts through the worst parts to make this a truly engrossing, fast and all-consuming read. How she can take her worst fears and pain and rework them into something that makes you laugh out loud is truly amazing! I highly recommend this incredible book - a MUST read!
Gina refused to take their word that she had no chance to survive and ended up taking matters into her own hands. Thankfully she did survive to tell her tale!
It is a wild one.
Gina has a stinging wit that cuts through the worst parts to make this a truly engrossing, fast and all-consuming read. How she can take her worst fears and pain and rework them into something that makes you laugh out loud is truly amazing! I highly recommend this incredible book - a MUST read!
January 21, 2026
As someone recently diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, and having a warped sense of humor at times, I loved this book! Cancer can be a dark subject but Gina brought light, hope and laughter into that darkness. She showed the fight of a true cancer warrior and demonstrated how important it is to advocate for ourselves. She inspired me to not give up the fight! The perspective of both cancer patient and caregiver were well defined and having her husband’s input in writing this story was so beneficial. Great read for patients and caregivers.
March 31, 2025
This book was the most riveting, unputdownable book I've read in a long time! It took me on an emotional roller-coaster. It was relatable yet, at the same time, taught me so much. I am telling all my bookworm friends about this! I am so proud of you for sticking up for yourself and speaking out for others ❤️
This is a definite MUST READ!
This is a definite MUST READ!
April 30, 2025
This book had me in all my feels while reading it. Mostly depression because I have long feared cancer. This book absolutely opened my eyes to what happens in the medical industry and why it is essential to be your own advocate. Everyone in the medical industry should read this book and then try to do BETTER. This story is devastating and terrifying but needs to be in the world. Hearts out to the author because she has lived it not once, but in every memory. ❤️
May 26, 2025
Incredble memoir, a must read!
This woman was given a death sentence, and through her self advocating and stubbornness defeated cancer and silenced every medical professional who cruelly advised she had no hope. Eye opening account of the cruel treatment a human being at their lowest received simply for having cancer.
A freaking triumph .
This woman was given a death sentence, and through her self advocating and stubbornness defeated cancer and silenced every medical professional who cruelly advised she had no hope. Eye opening account of the cruel treatment a human being at their lowest received simply for having cancer.
A freaking triumph .
November 27, 2025
I believe every word of this book.
There is something about the medical field that seems to attract narcissists. Is it arrogance, the money, wanting to play God? Whatever it is, this author has put into words what so many of us feel when we have to interact with the medical world.
There is something about the medical field that seems to attract narcissists. Is it arrogance, the money, wanting to play God? Whatever it is, this author has put into words what so many of us feel when we have to interact with the medical world.
December 28, 2025
Synopsis: This is a darkly humorous memoir about Gina’s fight with terminal cancer in 2019.
Review: Some people have interesting life stories to tell. Some people are talented storytellers. The problem with memoirs is that those two groups of people aren’t always the same people. Luckily, the author here is a great writer with a harrowing story to tell. But something to keep in mind - this is not an easy story to read.
Late in the book, the author says “The are no heroes in this story” and, boy, is that accurate. It’s brutal and honest, even when regarding the author’s own thoughts and behavior. This is not an uplifting story of overcoming adversity. This is a horror story where the boogie man is at times the illness, sometimes the disjointed health care system, and sometimes the author herself, especially when overcome by her own anxiety.
The story is told through a combination of the author’s recollections, notes, and Facebook posts, her husband’s comments, and occasional medical reports. There are occasional moments of ‘unreliable narrator’ as the author admits that she’s less than lucid while trapped in the ICU for months on end. (She has full conversations with a fictional character as a coping mechanism.)
In all, it’s a harsh and sometimes difficult story to read, but one with an emotional punch that will stay with you long after you close the book.
January 6, 2025
Nothing will prepare you for what you're about to read.
Gina was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer with no chance or hope (from the doctors) of survival. In her own words, Gina tells her story of how she embarks on a journey for treatment, seeking direction and help from who we all would. The "medical professionals. "
What she receives instead will send chills down your spine.
This book is intense. At times I felt like I was driving in the wrong lane or looking over a cliff. The senseless suffering Gina endures will make you mad. It will make you cry. But most importantly, it will make you question WHY?
At certain times I had to stop and reread what I had just read because the impact on your emotions is beyond anything you can imagine. Yes I cried, but there are times you will smile and chuckle at the bits and pieces of humor and wit found throughout the story.
Gina's captivating writing will grab you from the first page and not let go. This book kept me reading well into the early morning hours.
I will be recommending this book to everyone I know- and to those I don't. It will touch the hearts of all that read it, and will stay with you long after you finish.
I hope this book gets in the hands of a million readers. The medical negligence (putting it lightly), is unbearable and an eye opener for us all.
An empowering soul- stirring read that will leave you speechless and heartbroken, yet more educated about navigating the treacherous world of doctors and hospitals.
To Gina,
Thank you for sharing your story with me. And the world.
Gina was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer with no chance or hope (from the doctors) of survival. In her own words, Gina tells her story of how she embarks on a journey for treatment, seeking direction and help from who we all would. The "medical professionals. "
What she receives instead will send chills down your spine.
This book is intense. At times I felt like I was driving in the wrong lane or looking over a cliff. The senseless suffering Gina endures will make you mad. It will make you cry. But most importantly, it will make you question WHY?
At certain times I had to stop and reread what I had just read because the impact on your emotions is beyond anything you can imagine. Yes I cried, but there are times you will smile and chuckle at the bits and pieces of humor and wit found throughout the story.
Gina's captivating writing will grab you from the first page and not let go. This book kept me reading well into the early morning hours.
I will be recommending this book to everyone I know- and to those I don't. It will touch the hearts of all that read it, and will stay with you long after you finish.
I hope this book gets in the hands of a million readers. The medical negligence (putting it lightly), is unbearable and an eye opener for us all.
An empowering soul- stirring read that will leave you speechless and heartbroken, yet more educated about navigating the treacherous world of doctors and hospitals.
To Gina,
Thank you for sharing your story with me. And the world.
May 5, 2025
Reading A Dead Girl's Guide to Terminal Cancer was, quite frankly, exhausting. I went into the book hoping for a raw, emotional, and honest look at living with a terminal diagnosis particularly as a nurse myself wanting to see things from the patient perspective, but what I got instead was a grating account of someone constantly playing the victim, refusing to take any form of accountability for her actions.
Throughout the book, the author paints herself as a perpetual martyr, surrounded by people who somehow always misunderstand her, fail her, or simply don’t meet her impossibly high expectations. Every relationship, every professional encounter, every interaction seemed to be skewed to frame her as the wronged party. It quickly became repetitive and emotionally draining to read.
Worse, there were several moments, especially in her descriptions of events in the hospital, that raised serious red flags. At times, her narratives about medical professionals and her own care seemed exaggerated or outright fabricated. Details simply didn’t add up, and her version of events often strained credibility. Rather than drawing sympathy, these inconsistencies made it hard to trust anything she was saying, and made the entire memoir feel disingenuous.
Instead of feeling inspired or even empathetic, I ended the book feeling skeptical, frustrated, and exhausted. There is an important story to tell about facing terminal illness — but unfortunately, this was not it.
Throughout the book, the author paints herself as a perpetual martyr, surrounded by people who somehow always misunderstand her, fail her, or simply don’t meet her impossibly high expectations. Every relationship, every professional encounter, every interaction seemed to be skewed to frame her as the wronged party. It quickly became repetitive and emotionally draining to read.
Worse, there were several moments, especially in her descriptions of events in the hospital, that raised serious red flags. At times, her narratives about medical professionals and her own care seemed exaggerated or outright fabricated. Details simply didn’t add up, and her version of events often strained credibility. Rather than drawing sympathy, these inconsistencies made it hard to trust anything she was saying, and made the entire memoir feel disingenuous.
Instead of feeling inspired or even empathetic, I ended the book feeling skeptical, frustrated, and exhausted. There is an important story to tell about facing terminal illness — but unfortunately, this was not it.
January 12, 2026
Review from the editor of Centred Magazine, Australia: "Given three days to live, Gina, a self-proclaimed 'anxiety-riddled artist,' refused to accept her fate. This darkly humorous and poignant memoir chronicles her defiant journey through misdiagnosis, medical apathy, and the harrowing realities of end-stage cancer care. Discover how Gina, armed with pudding, unwavering cynicism, and a healthy dose of rage, outsmarted a system that had given up on her and reclaimed her life against all odds. A book that will show you to never doubt your intuition and hand your power over to others. A book I couldn't put down. Gina's story will inspire you to fight for yourself, even when all seems lost. - Taryn Gray"
March 24, 2025
Why have I read this book twice?? Because it's dang good!
Eugenia's panic spoke to me.
Her cancer while insanely serious was secondary to the life she's led, though led her to a life she could never have imagined.
Eugenia endured, persevered, loved, and was loved within a world colored with deep fear and anxiety, and all this before cancer.
Many of us who suffer from panic disorders/attacks are, like me, not heard.
Sadly, people don't want to hear the "ugly", for the most part, the ones that cover their ears think they are living on the sunny side of the street - hence the panicked people (us) having to yell, in creative ways to be heard - no we are not manipulating "you"!
Eugenia, you are funny, and your book is extremely relatable. From the perspective of "Seth here" and the unwavering presence of your mom, the wonderous breakfasts your dad prepared for you! I learned that during your need LOVE came in colors.
With a great sense of humor, Eugenia shared how challenging it is for our loved ones when we are resolute with our "nope", "I can't", "not today" and, "YES! ...but you all know I mean NO".
I hope I can write a review that will grace and embody Eugenia's "You." (who is "Me" and yeah some more of "You's")
I guess what I got from the book, (cancer aside), is that panic uses its outdoor voice, sometimes we are made to shut it up, but other times? that outdoor voice knows exactly what it's talking about and if we don't listen to it, then who will?
With so much love, I thank you for giving a voice to the voiceless,
Alyssa
*as Eugenia will know I already wrote part of this review as a response to watching a video she did with "The Patient Story"
I feel so privileged to have gotten to know her via two mediums, I highly recommend both her book and the interview.
*Shout out to Pickle, Purple, and Pooh
Eugenia's panic spoke to me.
Her cancer while insanely serious was secondary to the life she's led, though led her to a life she could never have imagined.
Eugenia endured, persevered, loved, and was loved within a world colored with deep fear and anxiety, and all this before cancer.
Many of us who suffer from panic disorders/attacks are, like me, not heard.
Sadly, people don't want to hear the "ugly", for the most part, the ones that cover their ears think they are living on the sunny side of the street - hence the panicked people (us) having to yell, in creative ways to be heard - no we are not manipulating "you"!
Eugenia, you are funny, and your book is extremely relatable. From the perspective of "Seth here" and the unwavering presence of your mom, the wonderous breakfasts your dad prepared for you! I learned that during your need LOVE came in colors.
With a great sense of humor, Eugenia shared how challenging it is for our loved ones when we are resolute with our "nope", "I can't", "not today" and, "YES! ...but you all know I mean NO".
I hope I can write a review that will grace and embody Eugenia's "You." (who is "Me" and yeah some more of "You's")
I guess what I got from the book, (cancer aside), is that panic uses its outdoor voice, sometimes we are made to shut it up, but other times? that outdoor voice knows exactly what it's talking about and if we don't listen to it, then who will?
With so much love, I thank you for giving a voice to the voiceless,
Alyssa
*as Eugenia will know I already wrote part of this review as a response to watching a video she did with "The Patient Story"
I feel so privileged to have gotten to know her via two mediums, I highly recommend both her book and the interview.
*Shout out to Pickle, Purple, and Pooh
April 13, 2025
EVERY SINGLE medical professional (and anyone who receives medical care) should read this book. Period.
This is not an easy book to read ~ whether or not you've experienced cancer yourself or with a loved one. I think that's even written in the description! This book, this author, and her kickass husband and family will open your eyes to the vulnerable and authentic inner feelings of someone not only dealing with the (often useless and even abusive) medical system and doctors. It also shines a bright and much needed light on the sensations of terror and trauma navigating life with anxiety, depression, and the horrific injustices from those who were supposed to be professional and caring.
To the 1 star reviewers: Yes, there are some editing issues. So effing what?! Hopefully you're smart enough to figure them out via context clues. And, I'm guessing this is your privilege speaking because CLEARLY you've never experienced poor medical treatment or any kind of trauma.
To everyone else: buy this book, friend. Share it with your family, your primary care people, etc etc.
To Gina and Seth: THANK YOU for letting us in, for sharing this terrible experience, and for fighting to live...
This is not an easy book to read ~ whether or not you've experienced cancer yourself or with a loved one. I think that's even written in the description! This book, this author, and her kickass husband and family will open your eyes to the vulnerable and authentic inner feelings of someone not only dealing with the (often useless and even abusive) medical system and doctors. It also shines a bright and much needed light on the sensations of terror and trauma navigating life with anxiety, depression, and the horrific injustices from those who were supposed to be professional and caring.
To the 1 star reviewers: Yes, there are some editing issues. So effing what?! Hopefully you're smart enough to figure them out via context clues. And, I'm guessing this is your privilege speaking because CLEARLY you've never experienced poor medical treatment or any kind of trauma.
To everyone else: buy this book, friend. Share it with your family, your primary care people, etc etc.
To Gina and Seth: THANK YOU for letting us in, for sharing this terrible experience, and for fighting to live...
July 11, 2025
The story was interesting and I liked the voice, but after a while it felt whiny and repetitive. It got a little too inside her head, where her vices and anxiety were just on repeat. Granted, that is probably how she lived her life (with the anxiety ever present), but it just became too exhausting to read. It was an interesting window into the medical world and terminal cancer, I just couldn't get through it.
It also needed some editing. That might have helped with the repetition (and typos for sure).
It also needed some editing. That might have helped with the repetition (and typos for sure).
July 3, 2025
Spoiler***
I found this book quite upsetting. Eugenia suffered abuse by incompetent/burnt-out medical staff. What she went through felt violating to me.
Thankfully, the book ends on a positive note!
I found this book quite upsetting. Eugenia suffered abuse by incompetent/burnt-out medical staff. What she went through felt violating to me.
Thankfully, the book ends on a positive note!
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