The Truth about Stepfamilies: Real American Stepfamilies Speak Out

by Anne O'Connor

As divorce and remarriage rates soar, stepfamilies are quickly becoming the rule rather than the exception. In The Truth about Stepfamilies, professional journalist and longtime stepmom Anne O'Connor shares personal stories of parents and children from across the country about their struggle to create their own family and traditions amidst the history that each person brings to the new household. She answers all the tough questions that this new family unit must face. Where does the new stepparent fit in? Who disciplines the kids? How do you manage the ex? Who pays for what? How are the kids affected? And—most importantly—does it ever get easier? O'Connor offers solid, practical advice bolstered by real-life examples to give readers the tools they need to create a happy, healthy family. The Truth about Stepfamilies shows that with knowledge, support, and hard work, life in stepfamilies can move from bitter resentment and anxiety to respect, tolerance, and love between family members.

288 pages, Paperback

First published May 1, 2003

Reviews

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've always tried to read parenting books for my baby/now toddler. Especially now I'm reading a bunch because she's getting to a tricky stage. Then dingding, I felt like, Why the heck have I never read a stepparenting book? You guys, being a stepparent is tough, and I've honestly never considered finding a book about it, or getting any sort of support except to sometimes vent to my spouse, family, or friends.

I think that was because I stupidly thought, There isn't any situation like ours. I even said those exact words to my husband when I got this book from the library. How dumb am I? We're not that special. People do have situation like ours (and worse)!

The great thing about this book is that you get great advice, but you also get a peek into a bunch of different families. The author interviewed the husbands/dads, wives/stepmothers, ex-wives/mothers, husbands/stepfathers, the kids, etc., and she really got a big mix of situations--some where the exes got along great but mostly where they didn't, some where money was the issue, some where there was only one child and some where there were five, etc.

I felt like I learned a lot, but also felt reassured that I am usually doing the right thing (yay). There are some things that I knew I needed to work on, and this book gave great advice on just how to do those things I've been concerned about. Also, I appreciated so much often getting the kids' perspectives on these matters (b/c mine is either staying silent or defending her mom, etc.)--it made me think differently. I truly feel like I'm going to be a better parent because of this book.

[Elaine · Rating 5 out of 5]

I liked this book even better than the Stepcoupling book because it covered all sorts of different versions of stepfamilies. And reading about the problems in other families from all perspectives (the children, the parents, the step-parents) really brought home the effects of the adults interactions with each other. Because of this book I am trying harder to be more than just civil to my ex and his girlfriend, because I know the nicer we are to each other the better off my son will be in the future. Definitely an eye-opener.