Memoirs Collection

by Marni Mann

Memoirs Aren't Fairytales - Book 1

"I could feel my chin falling towards my chest, my back hunching forward. My body was acting on its own, and my mind was empty, like all my memories had been erased. There was scenery behind my lids. Aqua colored water and powdery sand that extended for miles. I was never going back to coke. I wanted more heroin. And I wanted it now."

Leaving behind a nightmarish college experience, nineteen-year-old Nicole and her best friend Eric escape their home of Bangor, Maine to start a new life in Boston. Fragile and scared, Nicole desperately seeks a new beginning to help erase her past. But there is something besides freedom waiting for her in the shadows--a drug that will make every day a nightmare.

Heroin.

With one taste, the love that once flowed through Nicole's veins turns into cravings. Tracks mark the passing of time, and heroin's grip gets tighter. It holds her hand through deaths and prostitution, but her addiction keeps her in the darkness. When her family tries to strike a match to help light her way, Nicole must choose between a life she can hardly remember, or a love for heroin she'll never forget.

Scars from a Memoir - Book 2

“I could make up a story to cover the last eight years, but the scars on my arms told the truth. So did my ankles, the skin between my toes, even the veins that had burst on my breasts. Did my battle wounds really prove I was a survivor? Or was I too damaged to be glued back together?”

Nicole had only one skyline to remind her of the freedom she’d lost—a tattoo of inked buildings dotting the skies of Boston, crisscrossed by scars. Heroin had owned her, replaced everyone and everything she’d once loved. The past was supposed to be behind her. It wasn’t, but that was the price of addiction.

Two men love her; one fills a void, and the other gives her hope of a future. Will love find a way to help her sing a lullaby to addiction, or will her scars be her final good-bye?

564 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 19, 2014

About the author

USA Today Bestselling author Marni Mann knew she was going to be a writer since middle school. While other girls her age were daydreaming about teenage pop stars, Marni was fantasizing about penning her first novel. She crafts sexy, titillating stories that weave together her love of darkness, mystery, passion, and human emotions. A New Englander at heart, she now lives in Sarasota, Florida, with her husband and their Yellow Lab. When she’s not nose deep in her laptop, working on her next novel, she’s scouring for chocolate, sipping wine, traveling, or devouring fabulous books.

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WEBSITE: www.MarniSMann.com
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Reviews

[Donna ~ The Romance Cover · Rating 5 out of 5]

Memoirs Aren’t Fairytales: A Story of Addiction (The Memoir #1)
Scars from a Memoir (The Memoirs #2) by Marni Mann
5 stars!!!!

“Am I a runaway train, or am I the track?”

This was a duet that I needed to review straightaway, I just feel that if I get my thoughts and emotions down while I am still coming to terms with what I have just read it will have more of an emotional impact. These books seriously touched me, having never been around drugs or even having an inclination to try any I have never fully understood the novelty or the pull that these chemicals have on the addicts that so easily become consumed by them. But the thing about these two books is that it not only draws attention to the addict, but also the effects that addiction has on family, friends and strangers. This is definitely no fairy tale, this is the story of a woman’s desperate decline into the pits of hell and I lived and breathed it, warts and all.

“I was chasing something. And damn it felt so fucking good.”

What starts out as the recreational use of weed soon turns into other more “heavy” drugs, like coke and ultimately heroin. What initially is perceived as a “pick me up” soon becomes a dependency and so the spiral begins. But what I loved about this book is that you were inside the head of Nicole, what Marni Mann delivered was an addicts reasoning’s and thought processes and for someone like me who was totally oblivious to anything surrounding this lifestyle it gave me an insight into why people tragically descend down this route. While I don’t condone in any shape or form what Nicole did, I finally appreciated the effects that drugs have on your ability to think straight, to make rational decisions and to actually see what was presented in front of the mirror. An addict didn’t see an addict. An addict only saw their next high, that short burst of relief from the troubles they carried. A temporary blindfold on their misery all the while it only being a smokescreen for the ingrained issues they had and ultimately, only making those issues increase tenfold by adding more issues on top of issues that were already there.

“Today I was sober, but tomorrow wasn’t here yet.”

Drug addiction is like a vortex, a force so powerful that you are forever caught up in its vicious cycle, a vortex that is desperately difficult to break out of. But the first step is recognising the addiction and more often than not it takes hitting rock bottom to see it. Some people get that rock bottom, others die before they get there, but it takes incredible strength and courage to fight and the fight is never over, this is made painfully clear throughout this duet.

“But heroin was my air. It had a hold of me like we were chained together. And those shackles weren’t just around my wrists, they were tied around my brain too.”

Nicole aka Cole, was a girl that had a great life ahead of her, she was a fantastic student, had a loving family and was living the teenage dream, until one night...one night that forever changed her and one night that ultimately led to her decline down the darkest routes of addiction. It is this one event that ultimately decimated her life and that of her family. Nicole was a victim, but the effects of that one night made her a victim for the next ten years. That one night made her friends and family victims in more ways than one. Her relocation to Boston was supposed to be a new start, a way to exorcise her demons, but Boston had demons of its own, only these demons had far more destructive consequences. This is the harrowing story of Nicole and I defy anyone not to be touched and totally consumed by her story.

“I could make up a story to cover the last eight years, but the scars on my arms told the truth. So did my ankles, the skin between my toes, even the veins that had burst on my breasts. I was like that board my dad used to tack papers to in his office. Eventually, the cork fell apart because it had too many holes, and my Dad got a new one. Did my battle wounds really prove I was a survivor? Or was I too damaged to be glued back together?”

Nicole’s voice rang true, Marni Mann brought Nicole to life and I was soon consumed by her distressing, disturbing and horrifying experiences at the hands of heroin. A drug so powerful and all-consuming that life became a trick to get that next trip. The degrading situations she finds herself in are just one of the side effects together with demeaning herself daily just to get what she always perceived she needed more than food, clothes on her back and a roof over her head. The lengths to which friends and family will go to, to help, and then their desperate and heart breaking realisation that tough love is the only love. I can’t explain how touching and heart breaking this story was. I cried a river, not only for Nicole, but her brother, her mum and dad and her friends.

“It’s not a mess, Cole. It’s a beautiful mess.”

Every possible emotion is evoked painfully word by word, situation by situation as Marni Mann viscerally portrays life as an addict. Even though I have no experience, I felt as if I was living in the drug havens of Boston. Every character was so real, I could see them, I could hear them and I could smell them. I was totally transported to the pits of hell and for someone as naïve as me it was a world that I never knew existed. It was eye opening, so realistic.

Nicole does hit rock bottom and she is one of the ones that are lucky enough to survive the fall, but the climb back out is equally as painful. Book two concentrates on that climb, the pitfalls and the past that never leaves you alone. The consequences, both physical and mental and the after affects and devastation that addiction leaves behind. Nicole does find love, so there is an uplifting element, but a love that will always have the past in the background, a love filled with understanding and protective measures to avoid relapse. Nothing about this duet is pretty, it is raw, it is gritty it is so realistic. It just hurt so bad. I understand there is a YA version of this duet, I implore all parents to make their kids read it, it is enough to put them off for life. If one life is saved, then the research and experiences that this author penned onto paper would be worth it.

“I’ll always be a recovering heroin addict, but heroin no longer owns me.”

These two books now complete my Marni Mann collection; I can now say I have read all her books. These two books were her first and as a debut I cannot relay how impressive and how well put together this duet was. The attention to details, the realism and the no holds barred ugliness really cements this as an unforgettable story.

“My memoir is no damn fairytale. But my story isn’t over yet.”

I am still distraught, I thought this review would be cathartic, but that pain shows no sign of abating. This story moved me, it touched me on so many levels, I will never forget Nicole, and when my kids are old enough to understand they will be reading this series too. I am so emotional right now.

“Good-bye, Boston.”

www.theromancecover.com

[Christie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was given a copy of "Memoirs Collection" by Marni Mann to read in exchange for an honest review. Also, this is part of the promotional virtual book tour by www.myaddictionisreading.com. (I find this ironic due to the subject matter of this book.)

*****

Memoirs Aren't Fairytales--Book 1

Nicole Brown and her best friend Eric are packing up and leaving their troubles behind them in Bangor, Maine. They have decided that they need to escape the nightmares that are haunting them and the troubled pasts that are holding them back.

With a car full of their belongings, a little money in their pockets and the down payment for their apartment, the seek to find a new adventure in Boston. They intend to make something of themselves an create new friendships.

While starting their new life, the two start smoking large amounts of pot just to help pass the time. They find that a bowl here an a blunt there puts them in a relaxed state of mind that helps them deal with the financial struggles they are encountering.

While Eric is out working at a bar, he befriends a bartender, Renee who introduces the two to her own personal Jesus. After not getting what they need from the highs of pills and pot, Renee walks them through the door and shows them the bright world of cocaine.

When Nicole an Eric get that first taste of what cocaine can give, they are on a quest to keep that high. They find that the are doing more and more each time. It's also taking up every dime they have just to keep them high. After being evicted from their apartment, they know of only one other person they can turn to for help. Renee.

With the three living together, they are able to work at the club, split the living expenses and continue with their ever-growing coke habit. It's when they find that they aren't even able to make enough money to cover their expenses, Nicole and Eric seek the help of Jesus to discover a new option.

With the world of drugs, there is one that is always the dark horse. When they find that all they can afford is what is on the bottom shelf of Jesus' safe, they take what they can get. It's got to be better than the withdrawals they are suffering from the coke.

Heroine becomes their new obsession. All it took was one hit from the smoke and they were hooked. It wasn't long and all three roommates are now "chasing the dragon." When they find that the high from smoking isn't getting them where they need, Renee brings home three needles and from that point on their life changes.

Nicole's family is starting to see the signs of her addiction, but are too afraid to confront her. She and Eric are doing up to 3 bags at a time just to get their high. She's lost weight, acne has taken over her face. She has track marks all over her arms and legs. However, it's nothing to them...it's all about getting that next high.

With her family in town to visit, Nicole leaves Eric and Renee in their flea-bitten hotel room to party on. Struggling to keep her focus and make it through her visit, she gets the news that sends her spiraling out of control. Eric has died from an OD!

Doing the only thing she knows to do, she an Renee can't live in the apartment now due to the death of Eric. They seek refuge on the streets and sleeping in the park. It's when Renee finds them a place to live with some "friends" that Nicole learns that her life is no longer at her will...its all about getting her next high.

Scars from a Memoir--Book 2

In this second installment of the collection, Nicole has met up with a hooker Sunshine. Sunshine takes Nicole in an gives her a place to sleep. With the same passion for heroine, the two become drug buddies and Nicole enters the world of prostitution and pan handling.

As her addiction takes over, Nicole doesn't see that she has a problem. In her mind, she blames the world for what is going on with her. If she wasn't raped while in college, she wouldn't be in this place. If it wasn't for Renee getting her hooked on cocaine, she shouldn't be in this place. If it wasn't for Eric dying, she wouldn't be hooking and pan handling to survive an wouldn't be in this place. It's everyone's fault, but hers.

As her life is spiraling out of control, it's a little old lady that becomes her salvation. With meeting her, she isn't judged for her addiction. She finds unconditional love. It's through her friend that she also seeks to find sobriety.

It's when Nicole gets sober that she learns the meaning of life. She finds she is a stronger woman that she ever believed was possible. She discovers that her family needs her in order to overcome the loss they all have suffered due to her drug use. But most importantly, she finds that her past issues don't prevent you from discovering love.

*****

I want to first say that I don't cry easily. However with this story, I was crying too darn much. When she took that first hit of heroine, I put my hand over my mouth an started saying, "oh please don't do it...please don't do it!" I was crying and my heart broke when she did.

The author said that this was all fiction, but by the way the story is written with such detail, you would swear it is biographical. I have known people who had drug addictions and seen them spiral out of control. This was just such a vivid story, I couldn't put it down. By the time I finished the story, I couldn't read another book for at least a day.

If you ever have known someone who has went down the road of drug addiction, then you will be familiar with much of this story. If you have never been a witness to what horrors drugs can do to a person, then this is a must read. I realize that this book is not going to be meant for younger audiences, but I believe that this should be a must read for all teens. If this doesn't scare the crap out of them to stay away from drugs, then I don't know what will.

[Kathy Horsman · Rating 3 out of 5]

Review: Memoirs Collection by Marni Mann I actually finished reading this book about 3 weeks ago and chose to sit on the review for a while to get my thoughts together. If there was ever going to be a story called gritty, raw and real it's this collection of memoirs. This is Nicole's journey through emotional turmoil, drug use, grief and recovery. I went through a roller coaster of emotion while reading about her story and I have to say I am very conflicted about the book after finishing both stories. Memoirs Aren't Fairytales is the gem in this collection for me. We meet Nicole at the end of her drive to start a new life in Boston with her best friend Eric. Trying to escape a horrible experience in college that has left her with more scars than she will admit, we watch the two of them struggle with paying rent, finding jobs and falling head first into the drug world of Boston. Reading two teenagers struggling this hard and then sliding into what you as a reader know is going to be a horrific road ahead is hard to handle but it was beautifully written. You can almost feel all the emotions that Nicole is going through and her slow decent into hell. Other than the fact that the end seemed really rushed, it gave you a huge range of events that Nicole experiences without feeling scatted. I felt like this first book was as detailed as you could possibly get without losing that character depth that makes up a great book and it succeeded in showing the aspects of a drug world that aren't rosy without being blatantly lewd. The second book, Scars of a Memoir, however really didn't do it for me. Coming out of jail and into the real world again, you'd expect Nicole to stumble and fail at points, and that was totally fine with me, however what transpires doesn't seem real to me. Take for example, Mark, her once boss turned savior in the form of love. Is it realistic that someone so tied to her past would be able to keep her straight when it turned to drugs? I doubt this. That and the fact he didn't really do anything to help her with her problem even though he has his own brother that struggled with substance abuse and he should have known better just felt wrong to me. In fact, the way she ran into all these people that had some connection to her previous version of life just seemed force not organic and it turned me off. Add the ending in and I was completely befuddled when I finished. The only thing that seemed to flow correctly was Nicole's transition from drug addicted to helping the addicted. I could see that in her heart that's the kind of person she was and was the only consistent story line from the first book to the second that made any sense. I struggled to rate this book because of how polarizing I felt from one book to the next. I loved the first, thought it was great story telling mixed with character development and raw actions that held my attention from beginning to end. I would give the first story a 5 if I could rate them separately. The second book disappointed me thoroughly. It didn't create new characters with staying power, and fell into a hole with the past invading but not influencing the present. Too many things just felt wrong to me that I would only give it a 2. In the end I gave it a 3 because I would recommend the first book to everyone but the second I just can't get over
 
 
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