Out of Control

by Erika Tamar

Johnny, lead singer of a popular high school band, has a history of intense, short-lived involvements with drugs, drinking and girls. Jessica, the band's guitarist, is his latest--and most serious--infatuation. While the boy's lavish attentions are initially thrilling, Jessica soon feels stifled and restless.

202 pages, Library Binding

First published October 1, 1991

About the author

Erika Tamar is the award-winning author of nineteen books for children, including The Junkyard Dog, winner of the California Young Reader Medal and the Virginia Young Readers Award, and The Midnight Train Home, winner of the Western Writers of America Spur Award for best juvenile fiction.

She was born in Vienna, Austria. In 1939, after witnessing Kristallnacht and suffering under Jewish exclusionary laws, her parents sent her and her brother Henry, ages 4 and 9, away to strangers to save their lives.
They traveled to the U.S. in June 1939 as two of fifty children personally rescued by Jewish Philadelphians Gilbert and Eleanor Kraus, a rescue effort featured in the HBO documentary film and book, 50 Children, by Steven Pressman, and supported by documents housed in the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington, D.C.
By late August, they were adopted by a foster family and traveled to Houston, Texas, until her parents, Dr. Julius and Pauline Tamar, arrived in New York in November 1939, at which point they were reunited.
Erika tells this story herself in an oral history on video housed at the USHMM.

A lifelong New Yorker, Erika grew up in Washington Heights in Manhattan as the daughter of the neighborhood physician and graduated from the Bronx High School of Science.

Reviews

[Rants and Bants · Rating 1 out of 5]

Oh my fucking GOD.

This book fucking drove me insane.

Has asshole boyfriends and abusive relationships ALWAYS been a thing in YA?

None of the characters in here are remotely likeable. Except maybe Mike (though he chose to do nothing when he blatantly saw Johnny abusing Jessica at the bar, or wherever they were at), and Barbara. Poor Barbara, yeah she’s the only one I ever had any sympathy for. I’m glad she dumped that piece of shit who treated her like nothing. Jesus Christ.

So we’ve got Darren who thinks girls shouldn’t be playing music (“what are you, a girl?” literally those were his first words when he heard Jessica on the phone. Asshole.) and wants Jessica to basically take her clothes off while on stage to attract more views. He also annoyingly keeps saying, “I’ll have to tell the guys this, I’ll have to tell the guys that” JESSICA’S A PART OF THE BAND TOO, STOP SAYING JUST ‘GUYS’. We’ve got Jessica who doesn’t seem to have a problem with him treating her this way. She also doesn’t seem to have much of a problem with Johnny, who is basically the Travis Maddox of 90s YA—possessive, controlling, doesn’t let her talk to or hang around anyone, thinks it’s okay to toy around with girls yet it’s wrong if one of them beats him at his own game. And NO ONE ever fucking criticizes him. They just let him be, because poor Johnny…POOR JOHNNY? POOR BLOODY JOHNNY?! What about all the poor girls he’s used and abused and scared half to death??? There was EVEN a part in here where he said, “You can’t have a guy best friend.” EXCUSE ME?! Fucking EXCUSE ME ??? Who the hell are YOU to tell someone who they can and can’t be friends with? And why does it matter what gender her best friend is when at the end of the day, you don’t even want her hanging out with her GIRLfriends either? You want her to always be with you, every waking second of the fucking day, no matter what? She’s not even allowed to do her HOMEWORK! Fuck, if I had to deal with a guy like that, I’d dump him immediately and punch him the moment he tries to follow me or grab me. It was so sickening reading this sick self-absorbed piece of shit’s POV. He even had the nerve to act like the victim. Ugh.

Then she finally gets enough of a backbone to break up with the fucker, and he fucking calls her during the night, gets her parents mad at her, yells at her on the phone, calls her names, and blames EVERYONE except himself. He never thinks it might actually be him . Jessica seriously needed to get a restraining order against him.

Then he fucking still controls her life—he demands her to call him and know where she is all the time and what time she’s leaving. OMFG I could not. It is never-ending with this douchebag. I just about threw the book across the room.

[the following is stuff I wrote as I was reading the book. Had to keep putting it down to update my review for this]

THEN he goes and abuses ANOTHER girl by bringing her in his house and calling her names and scaring her off. After he invited her in. The poor thing must’ve been traumatized as shit. FUCKING. HELL. NO.

THEN HE FUCKING GOES TO HER HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND WAKES HER UP. Literally I’m writing some of this as I read it, I should probably use the reading progress updates thing for that, but sometimes I’m too embarrassed to admit I’m reading certain things.

I literally had to put the book down just now. Instead of freaking out like a normal person, staying in the house, and threatening to call the police, she goes outside and decides to get in the car with him WHILE HE’S DRUNK!!!?!?! WHAT? Fucking WHAT?!

Now he’s bitching about “don’t push me” and “it’ll be all your fault if I kill myself.” I fucking hate guys like this so much.

Aaaand he’s threatening to kill her, by driving both of them into a post. NO GIRL, and no guy for that matter, should have to put up with this amount of abusive shit. Nobody. Girl, if you care about your life, you need to GET out of there NOW and not look back.

“It’s not my fault. I’m sixteen years old. I’m allowed to break up with someone.” Thank god, thank the lord, you are starting to see reason, girlie.

She fucking stayed awake and sat there with this big baby until MORNING, sacrificing HER OWN SLEEP, and even when she escapes, she’s still more worried about HIM than HERSELF and what he did to her. UGHHHHHHHHHH.

Oh god. And now we’re back to Johnny’s perspective. Here we go.

“Everybody gets drunk sometimes.” Uh, no we don’t.

“I’m not going to baby-sit” SCORE!! Score for Jessica, finally standing up to this douchebag.

“When we get back together” WTF? You’re just deciding that without asking if she WANTS to or not? IDIOT? How the fuck do you know that’s going to happen when she fucking broke up with you for a REASON? She doesn’t want you, you’re a wacko, it takes two to be fucking together, you’re done. GET OVER IT. You can’t make her do anything she doesn’t want to!!!!!

“No one’s ever gonna love you the way I love you” Translation: I’m an abusive bastard with problems and I don’t respect women at all.

Back to Jessica’s perspective. She’s kind of unlikeable too, to be honest. “All of the beautiful people don’t hang at the public pool” Really shallow much? She also was saying at the beginning how she must be the only virgin left in the world at her age. Seriously…

Jessica cannot go ANYWHERE without this psychopathic fucktard stalking her!!!

Alright, I’m glad he’s dead. He is a danger to the world. God. And I’m glad Jessica knows damn well it isn’t her fault. At the beginning of the book you know someone’s going to die. I honest-to-god thought it would be Jessica, and I’m glad it wasn’t. Of course now I predict people are going to blame her, and so help me I will freak the fuck out if they do.

Honestly the whole thing could be a good commentary on abusive relationships, but it’s kind of ruined by how no one in the book even remotely criticizes Johnny. Even in the end when she talks about textbook terms, not a one says “abusive” or “psychotic”. Jessica even lies about what actually happened, so that he doesn’t sound like the maniac that he was, because she wants to protect him. Because she doesn’t want people “talking” about the truth. I guess we’re supposed to find it sweet or something, but it’s not. The truth should be out there. And if people are going to talk, let ‘em talk!

They’re toasting to Johnny. Joy.

Jessica don’t apologize to him, for the love of everything in the universe, DON’T.

Yes, that’s right Jessica. He made you the victim, he made his own choices, you are not to blame. Well, at least you have more of a backbone than most girls in YA. I just wish you had told him that to his face, though I can see why you were scared shitless. Here’s to having a good life with NO ONE like Johnny in it.

[back to editing this]

And then Tom, who for the most part was okay, but I didn’t like the way he talked about the girls who flirted or slept with or hung around Johnny. Jessica is not “better” than them, why is it so wrong for teenage girls to have hormones just like guys do? The slut-shaming and double standards in here…well, we’ve seen them all before. I did feel really sad though when he was starting to become successful with his diet and then it all fell through.

Even her MOM supports his behavior! Granted she doesn’t know about everything that’s going on, but you’d think she’d start to suspect SOMETHING when this guy is calling your daughter every damn night at ONE IN THE MORNING…I mean really? What is wrong with these people, what is wrong with these characters…it’s no wonder the kids are fucked up, as the parents don’t seem to know what the hell they’re doing EITHER.

This book is so stupid and infuriating. Misogynistic piece of crap, that’s what it is. I wasn’t even going to DO a review for this, but I couldn’t help it. I just had to eventually rage and let go.

And for the record, some of the descriptions for the characters’ physical appearances don’t match the cover at all. You have to look REALLY closely to see those “rebellious” green streaks in Jessica’s hair, and Johnny is supposed to be skinny. He’s not skinny, he’s average.

It was also so goddamn BORING. Like I literally could not even concentrate on what was going on, it was so boring. Which is why it’s a good thing the plot is so simple and stuck on stupid anyway—boy meets girl, falls in love, becomes an asshole, gets into a reckless driving accident and dies. The end.

Lastly, as someone who actually listens to rock music, different kinds of rock music, the lyrics in some of the songs they were writing were just…>.> they weren’t that spectacular. I’m no expert in music writing AT ALL, but I just can’t see anyone in real life actually singing those songs. Just saying.

At least the title got it right. “Out of Control” DEFINITELY is what this thing is. NO girl in the world would go for a guy like this, who stalks her, humiliates her in public, blames her for other guys so much as LOOKING AT HER, and orders her around like he’s in charge of her or something. That’s why it’s a RELATIONSHIP—you two are EQUALS, one is not the boss of the other. WHY are girls attracted to these kind of guys? And all the self-degrading , self-deprecating bullshit spewing from Jesscia’s POV about how “ungrateful” she was being to Johnny…you have got to be kidding me. You have got to be. HE should be grateful toward HER for putting up with his behavior for so long. Girls want MEN, not stupid little boys who wet their pants every single time they don’t get their way. We shouldn’t feel guilty about that. At all. Jesus fuck. I can’t deal with warped sexist shit like this.

Just NO .

[Kaitlyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Have you ever wondered what it’s like being in a high school band and in love ?? Jessica is the main person in this book and in the begining of the book shes secretly in love with Jhonny. Jessica is the guitar who puts green streaks in her hair to be more outrageous then her polite suburban background allows. Jhonny is the rich kid who is said to go through cars, drugs, liquor and girls as fast as they can be supplied.


The other members of the band are Darren,Mike, Tom. Derren is the keyborards the creative supertalented leader and composer, whose songs are full of meaning and who is sure his ver life depends on out of control success. Mike is the drums with the mohawk haorcut and the safety pin in his ear, bright, mercurial, erratic, political he may be the worlds greatest side kick. Tom is the bass boy he is a reliable friend, caring and a good listener, he's every girls favorite big brother, extremely big brother, he's been food addicted and grossly obese all his life.


My book is called “Out of Control” by Erika Tamar in 1991. This book is different it is like a old love book, she don’t know how to confess her love to one of her friend band members so its a awkward stage at first then she gets use to the feeling.


“Im only a puppet
populating your dream
Your pulling the strings
But im not what i seem
Its your own illusion
Making your cream
Cause im not what you need
Oh lady
No, im not what you need”

In this passage, Jessica shares one of her song lyrics with us. I found this interesting because she is sharing her talents with the reader but ironically the rest of the band does not know, she thinks its not her place to write the songs and thinks if she shares this with them they will laugh at her.

My perspecitive on this book it is a good book i like that the book looked like old love from the cover thats what grabbed my attention. I dont think this book is challenging
Ive learned in this book that back in the old days was way better then now. Everything is more face to face. If you’re interested in how people interacted in the 90’s and before, before the age of cell phones, then you can read this book to find out how that was.

[MK · Rating 1 out of 5]

Pretty unlikeable characters.