Lorraine Ray writes novels and short stories. Born into an old and extremely dull Tucson family, she has maintained a futile attraction to creative writing. Her great grandfather was a civilian packer with Gen. George Crook's army and late in life became a familiar pest at the Arizona Historical Society where his autobiographies My Life in the West and Reminiscences as Told to Mrs. Kitt are now kept far, far away from the uninterested public. The author of Trombones Can Laugh and A Phantom Herd married an Englishman and has spent several summer vacations with her husband and daughter tramping across the South Downs and avoiding sheep droppings. Besides writing, one of her favorite jobs was a two-year stint as a crazy lunch lady. Although she has more than 13,000 downloads of her free books, they have frequently been rated too quirky and too awful for further consumption. You have been warned!