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Mom Overboard
Famous novelist Dorothy Ackerman invites her estranged daughter, Rachel, on a four-day cruise to Bermuda to coincide with Mother’s Day and the girl’s 25th birthday. The trip should be a relaxing vacation and bonding opportunity for them. But they’re barely speaking. Both women have ulterior motives for going on the cruise together, and they try to get what they need from each other. A handsome stranger acts as kindling to ignite old grudges and distrust between the Ackermans. By the end of the trip, the two women disembark with a greater understanding of each other and themselves.
Valerie Frankel sold her first novel when she was 25. Since then, she’s published an additional 14 novels, 4 nonfiction titles, and 2 memoirs. Her books have been translated into dozens of languages and published in scores of countries on five continents. Three of her novels—Smart vs. Pretty, The Accidental Virgin, and Fringe Girl—have been optioned for Hollywood film and TV productions. The Girlfriend Curse was nominated for a Quills Award in 2005. Fringe Girl and Fringe Girl in Love were nominated for Cyril Awards in 2006 and 2007, respectively.
Frankel is also a seasoned ghostwriter, working with iconic celebrities and VIPs on novels and nonfiction projects. She’s collaborated with Joan Rivers, Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, Stacy London of TLC’s What Not to Wear, a couple of Real Housewives, one of the Mob Wives, a sex-toy company owner, a pair of Manhattan socialites, social media website founders, and subjects of several other books she’s not at liberty to discuss.
In addition to writing books, Frankel is an award-winning journalist. From 1991 to 2001, she was articles editor at Mademoiselle magazine, where she wrote monthly advice columns on sex, men, dating, etiquette, and friendship. As a freelancer, Frankel has been a fixture at Self, Parenting, and Good Housekeeping, as well as a contributor to nearly every other major women’s magazine in the United States and many abroad. Her articles have been reprinted around the world, from Vogue Taiwan to Glamour Brazil to Cosmo Australia.
A Dartmouth-grad Jersey girl, Frankel lives in Brooklyn, New York, with her two daughters, four cats, and opera singer husband, Stephen Quint. For more information, go to Valeriefrankel.com. Follow Frankel on Twitter @valfrankel.
This is a short e-book published by Shebooks--high quality fiction, memoir, and journalism for women, by women. For more information, visit
Valerie Frankel sold her first novel when she was 25. Since then, she’s published an additional 14 novels, 4 nonfiction titles, and 2 memoirs. Her books have been translated into dozens of languages and published in scores of countries on five continents. Three of her novels—Smart vs. Pretty, The Accidental Virgin, and Fringe Girl—have been optioned for Hollywood film and TV productions. The Girlfriend Curse was nominated for a Quills Award in 2005. Fringe Girl and Fringe Girl in Love were nominated for Cyril Awards in 2006 and 2007, respectively.
Frankel is also a seasoned ghostwriter, working with iconic celebrities and VIPs on novels and nonfiction projects. She’s collaborated with Joan Rivers, Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, Stacy London of TLC’s What Not to Wear, a couple of Real Housewives, one of the Mob Wives, a sex-toy company owner, a pair of Manhattan socialites, social media website founders, and subjects of several other books she’s not at liberty to discuss.
In addition to writing books, Frankel is an award-winning journalist. From 1991 to 2001, she was articles editor at Mademoiselle magazine, where she wrote monthly advice columns on sex, men, dating, etiquette, and friendship. As a freelancer, Frankel has been a fixture at Self, Parenting, and Good Housekeeping, as well as a contributor to nearly every other major women’s magazine in the United States and many abroad. Her articles have been reprinted around the world, from Vogue Taiwan to Glamour Brazil to Cosmo Australia.
A Dartmouth-grad Jersey girl, Frankel lives in Brooklyn, New York, with her two daughters, four cats, and opera singer husband, Stephen Quint. For more information, go to Valeriefrankel.com. Follow Frankel on Twitter @valfrankel.
This is a short e-book published by Shebooks--high quality fiction, memoir, and journalism for women, by women. For more information, visit
71 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 9, 2014
2 people are currently reading
14 people want to read
About the author
Valerie Frankel
52 books112 followersShe's written twenty books (e.g., The Accidental Virgin and The Girlfriend Curse), and contributed to dozens of publications including the New York Times, Self, Allure, Glamour, Parenting and Good Housekeeping. Her memoir, Thin Is the New Happy, about overcoming bad body image after 30 years of dieting and self-loathing, was recently described as "Rueful, zestful and surprisingly funny," by the New York Times.
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May 22, 2025
Mom Overboard by Valerie Frankel (2014)
73-page Libby Ebook story pages 6-65
Genre: Short Stories, Humor, Contemporary Fiction, Novelette
Featuring: Red Hook, Brooklyn Heights, and Williamsburg, Brooklyn, New York; Author MC, Mother-Daughter Relationships, Estranged Family, Cruise, Mother's Day, Birthday, Bermuda, Vicenarian, Quinquagenarian, May, Dual POVs, Widow, Unlikable Characters, Toxic Behavior,
Reading Guide Questions, Author’s Links, Bibliography for Valerie Frankel, Publisher Links, Links and Covers for: Mating Calls by Jessica Anya Blau, Stolen Moments by Suzanne Antonetta Paola, Does This Boyfriend Make My Butt Look Big?
Rating as a movie: R for adult language and situations
Books and Authors mentioned: The Queen of the Damned by Anne Rice - The Vampire Chronicles #3, Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë, The Sound of Music by Richard Rodgers Oscar Hammerstein II [based on] The Story of the Trapp Family Singers by Maria Augusta von Trapp
Memorable Quotes: Frankly, Rachel couldn’t care less if her mother was blocked, or lonely, or bored. She was still holding a grudge about Loving Ethan, Dorothy’s 300-page widow weep. Rachel had been mentioned only five times. In all fairness, Rachel had asked to be left out of it, and Dorothy had obliged. But it bugged Rachel nonetheless. It was too easy for her mother to write around her. Dorothy and Ethan’s marriage was an exclusive club. Rachel was just an electron orbiting their tight nucleus.
In Dorothy’s fiction, pregnancy was a “hostile takeover.” Breast-feeding was “soul sucking.” Childcare was “epic tedium.” Her 1989 novel, Elbow Deep in Diapers, opened with the line, “Motherhood stinks.” The main character’s story—she quit a high-powered job to raise her daughter, hated the decision, decided to fight convention, society, and a judgmental family and return to work—was controversial and relatable. Its success coincided with what became known as the Mommy Wars, waged between women who found fulfillment as stay-at-home caretakers and those who were disillusioned with waste disposal and got satisfaction in an office.
“They’re color coded,” said the check-in woman, leaning forward, whispering the secret. “It’s a game for the guests to figure out. A conversation starter.” “Color coded for age?” said Dorothy. “I’m not walking around broadcasting how old I am.” She was 55. “It’s all in good fun, Mrs. Ackerman,” said the agent with practiced bonhomie. “Of course, you don’t have to wear it.” “What color for people in their 30s?” “Purple, but I’m not . . .” “I adore purple.” “You’re in your 30s with a 25-year-old daughter,” said Rachel. “So you had me when you were 5?” “I could have been 14,” said Dorothy, “but that’s not the point.” She smiled, eyebrows raised, at her fan. The woman dutifully handed over a purple lei. “Thank you ever so much. Put on your lei, Rachel. Don’t be rude.”
With four days at sea, they’d surely have to eat alone together, no distractions or buffers. What would they talk about? Their romantic lives? If Dorothy had a boyfriend, Rachel would rather die than hear about him. She’d kept her romantic life to herself since the day in eighth grade when Dorothy had burst into Rachel’s room, catching Eric Lebowitz on her bed with his pants down. Poor Eric’s penis receded all the way into his gall bladder when Dorothy roared, “Zip up and get out!” Since then, Rachel conducted her romantic life like a spy. Even her friends were on a need-to-know basis. She’d talked to her dad about her relationships, though. He had always asked. In the years before he died, she sought him out for romantic advice. During one of their last conversations, he said, “You can talk to your mother, too, Rach. She’d like that.”
By six, an age when most children were forbidden to look at a bathtub unsupervised, Rachel had figured out how to bathe herself. At ten, she filled a bath as usual, unaware, as they all were, that the cold water faucet wasn't working properly. Her parents were both out. The baby-sitter, a teenager from the block, was unprepared to handle the emergency of a screaming child with a scalded foot. Both terrified to get in trouble, they agreed not to tell Dorothy and Ethan what had happened. They packed Rachel’s foot in ice. It stayed bright red for days. Putting on a sock and shoe was excruciating. After a week, her foot looked normal, as if nothing happened. No scars. None you could see.
When she was 14, Rachel stole a credit card from Dorothy’s wallet and ordered some things online. When her parents fpund out, Rachel explained that she needed bras. She was getting teased at school.
A sexy tuft of chest hair ran along the seam of his belly.
He said, "Butter is an animal product."
"I'm a vegetarian, not vegan," said Rachel.
"What's the difference?"
"Twenty pounds and an iron deficiency," she replied.
Kids were selfish, hurtful, horrible brats. Even if you did your best, made every sacrifice, they'd blame you for any problem they had, have, or would have in the future.
My rating: ⭐️⭐️🚢👩👩🏻🦰🗽🏝📚
My thoughts: 🔖Page 17 of 73 Chapter Two Dorothy - I don't love either one of them so far but this is different than what I expected, I think the author is using the term estranged way too loosely, and I don’t know why Rachel refers to her father as Ethan. The ship sounds nice though am going to ignore the inaccuracies. Since this isn't actually set on Mother's Day, but the weekend of I'm going to finish it tomorrow instead of running through it tonight.
🔖26 [2 pages into] Chapter Three Rachel - Ugh! It's just this book I keep getting interrupted on.
🔖36 Chapter Five Rachel - My page count dropped to 71; this is why I don't like Libby Ebooks. I kept getting interrupted with this one, but now I see. The story is dull; the dialogue is atrocious (I thought it well before they used it), and I dislike all of the characters. They can't all be obnoxious, can they? I want to abandon ship, but it's under 80 pages (probably 70 tomorrow), and I'm halfway done.
🔖46 [second page of] Chapter Six Dorothy - 3 more chapters to go. Rachel is officially winning in the most unlikable character race. I don’t like the LI either. I'm going to really crank it out tonight. I'm focusing on the good book. I fell asleep against my will with this one. Maybe a chapter every meal will do it.
Finally! Chapter 8 was the highlight of this story, and it wasn't on a cruise. I didn't like anyone in this story; it was just different levels of dislike. I allegedly spent 3 hours and 23 minutes over 12 days trying to force my eyes to decode the symbols in this book. I know at least half of that was napping with the story open. Rachel was my least favorite character, and Dorothy wasn't too far behind; they were practically clones with different agendas. I skimmed the discussion questions and only read 1 and 8. 1 was a good question 8 left me confused. Now I can move on to something exciting. I will make giving up on bland short stories my goal next year.
Recommend to others: Absolutely not!
73-page Libby Ebook story pages 6-65
Genre: Short Stories, Humor, Contemporary Fiction, Novelette
Featuring: Red Hook, Brooklyn Heights, and Williamsburg, Brooklyn, New York; Author MC, Mother-Daughter Relationships, Estranged Family, Cruise, Mother's Day, Birthday, Bermuda, Vicenarian, Quinquagenarian, May, Dual POVs, Widow, Unlikable Characters, Toxic Behavior,
Reading Guide Questions, Author’s Links, Bibliography for Valerie Frankel, Publisher Links, Links and Covers for: Mating Calls by Jessica Anya Blau, Stolen Moments by Suzanne Antonetta Paola, Does This Boyfriend Make My Butt Look Big?
Rating as a movie: R for adult language and situations
Books and Authors mentioned: The Queen of the Damned by Anne Rice - The Vampire Chronicles #3, Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë, The Sound of Music by Richard Rodgers Oscar Hammerstein II [based on] The Story of the Trapp Family Singers by Maria Augusta von Trapp
Memorable Quotes: Frankly, Rachel couldn’t care less if her mother was blocked, or lonely, or bored. She was still holding a grudge about Loving Ethan, Dorothy’s 300-page widow weep. Rachel had been mentioned only five times. In all fairness, Rachel had asked to be left out of it, and Dorothy had obliged. But it bugged Rachel nonetheless. It was too easy for her mother to write around her. Dorothy and Ethan’s marriage was an exclusive club. Rachel was just an electron orbiting their tight nucleus.
In Dorothy’s fiction, pregnancy was a “hostile takeover.” Breast-feeding was “soul sucking.” Childcare was “epic tedium.” Her 1989 novel, Elbow Deep in Diapers, opened with the line, “Motherhood stinks.” The main character’s story—she quit a high-powered job to raise her daughter, hated the decision, decided to fight convention, society, and a judgmental family and return to work—was controversial and relatable. Its success coincided with what became known as the Mommy Wars, waged between women who found fulfillment as stay-at-home caretakers and those who were disillusioned with waste disposal and got satisfaction in an office.
“They’re color coded,” said the check-in woman, leaning forward, whispering the secret. “It’s a game for the guests to figure out. A conversation starter.” “Color coded for age?” said Dorothy. “I’m not walking around broadcasting how old I am.” She was 55. “It’s all in good fun, Mrs. Ackerman,” said the agent with practiced bonhomie. “Of course, you don’t have to wear it.” “What color for people in their 30s?” “Purple, but I’m not . . .” “I adore purple.” “You’re in your 30s with a 25-year-old daughter,” said Rachel. “So you had me when you were 5?” “I could have been 14,” said Dorothy, “but that’s not the point.” She smiled, eyebrows raised, at her fan. The woman dutifully handed over a purple lei. “Thank you ever so much. Put on your lei, Rachel. Don’t be rude.”
With four days at sea, they’d surely have to eat alone together, no distractions or buffers. What would they talk about? Their romantic lives? If Dorothy had a boyfriend, Rachel would rather die than hear about him. She’d kept her romantic life to herself since the day in eighth grade when Dorothy had burst into Rachel’s room, catching Eric Lebowitz on her bed with his pants down. Poor Eric’s penis receded all the way into his gall bladder when Dorothy roared, “Zip up and get out!” Since then, Rachel conducted her romantic life like a spy. Even her friends were on a need-to-know basis. She’d talked to her dad about her relationships, though. He had always asked. In the years before he died, she sought him out for romantic advice. During one of their last conversations, he said, “You can talk to your mother, too, Rach. She’d like that.”
By six, an age when most children were forbidden to look at a bathtub unsupervised, Rachel had figured out how to bathe herself. At ten, she filled a bath as usual, unaware, as they all were, that the cold water faucet wasn't working properly. Her parents were both out. The baby-sitter, a teenager from the block, was unprepared to handle the emergency of a screaming child with a scalded foot. Both terrified to get in trouble, they agreed not to tell Dorothy and Ethan what had happened. They packed Rachel’s foot in ice. It stayed bright red for days. Putting on a sock and shoe was excruciating. After a week, her foot looked normal, as if nothing happened. No scars. None you could see.
When she was 14, Rachel stole a credit card from Dorothy’s wallet and ordered some things online. When her parents fpund out, Rachel explained that she needed bras. She was getting teased at school.
A sexy tuft of chest hair ran along the seam of his belly.
He said, "Butter is an animal product."
"I'm a vegetarian, not vegan," said Rachel.
"What's the difference?"
"Twenty pounds and an iron deficiency," she replied.
Kids were selfish, hurtful, horrible brats. Even if you did your best, made every sacrifice, they'd blame you for any problem they had, have, or would have in the future.
My rating: ⭐️⭐️🚢👩👩🏻🦰🗽🏝📚
My thoughts: 🔖Page 17 of 73 Chapter Two Dorothy - I don't love either one of them so far but this is different than what I expected, I think the author is using the term estranged way too loosely, and I don’t know why Rachel refers to her father as Ethan. The ship sounds nice though am going to ignore the inaccuracies. Since this isn't actually set on Mother's Day, but the weekend of I'm going to finish it tomorrow instead of running through it tonight.
🔖26 [2 pages into] Chapter Three Rachel - Ugh! It's just this book I keep getting interrupted on.
🔖36 Chapter Five Rachel - My page count dropped to 71; this is why I don't like Libby Ebooks. I kept getting interrupted with this one, but now I see. The story is dull; the dialogue is atrocious (I thought it well before they used it), and I dislike all of the characters. They can't all be obnoxious, can they? I want to abandon ship, but it's under 80 pages (probably 70 tomorrow), and I'm halfway done.
🔖46 [second page of] Chapter Six Dorothy - 3 more chapters to go. Rachel is officially winning in the most unlikable character race. I don’t like the LI either. I'm going to really crank it out tonight. I'm focusing on the good book. I fell asleep against my will with this one. Maybe a chapter every meal will do it.
Finally! Chapter 8 was the highlight of this story, and it wasn't on a cruise. I didn't like anyone in this story; it was just different levels of dislike. I allegedly spent 3 hours and 23 minutes over 12 days trying to force my eyes to decode the symbols in this book. I know at least half of that was napping with the story open. Rachel was my least favorite character, and Dorothy wasn't too far behind; they were practically clones with different agendas. I skimmed the discussion questions and only read 1 and 8. 1 was a good question 8 left me confused. Now I can move on to something exciting. I will make giving up on bland short stories my goal next year.
Recommend to others: Absolutely not!
Displaying 1 of 1 review