Flakka Ferret Frenzy!: An Extreme Horror Novella

by Jerry Blaze

In a dying Missouri town, a drug addict on the run gets rid of his flakka in a ferret enclosure at the local pet store.

However, the ferrets break open the baggy and consume the drugs, effectively turning them into paranoid bloodthirsty zombified creatures. Breaking free, the ferrets go on a epic gory rampage through the area, killing and eating anyone that can't outrun them.

Don't look back, don't call for help and whatever you do, don't stop running!

This splatterpunk novella is filled with intense and graphic depictions of gore, violence, sex and nightmare fuel. Reader discretion advised!

100 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 17, 2024

Reviews

[Peter Topside · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ferrets banged up on drugs. Now I’ve heard of everything. No real main character to follow and just a series of incidents involving these destructive, drug-induced, killer pets. A decent amount of blood and gore, with a conclusion that was decent, but not great. A lot of this felt rushed and missed out on tons of opportunities to expand on such a fun idea. Didn’t hate it, but didn’t love it. Wanted to like it so much more than I did.

[Stitching Ghost · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was good goofy fun, I would have liked a little bit more plot but that's not what the author was going for here. The characters' descriptions were pretty fun oddly enough. Would recommend if you're looking for a story where you don't really need to think.

[Sophie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received this book for an honest review, which is here:

This is the story of ferrets frenzying on flakka. The title said it all, really. This book was freaking wild, yo! I had so much fun reading this book, It was super brutal, violent, and really over the top entertaining!! I can not recommend this book enough if you like crazy, violent books!! Solid 5/5 from me!

[Phrique · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ok so first things first, I’m not old. Let’s get that out of the way right now. That being said, I didn’t realize til about halfway through this novella that I had no idea what the hell a flakka was. It didn’t ruin the story for me tho, but just know it’s like bath salts or one of those nasty lil street drugs that makes Florida men eat each other’s faces. It’s definitely one of the many things in life that you definitely don’t want a ferret to get into. That’s for sure. Because if you do…basically…everything in this book would happen. So now you know, cuz I didn’t. Enjoy new words. (We are doomed, as a people.)

Quick Synopsis:
Don’t die in a pet store and don’t leave your drugs in a ferret enclosure, because those musky lil adorable bastards will dive in that shit headfirst. Then what would ensue? A (wait for it) Flakka Ferret Frenzy(!!) of blood, gore, and depravity. No one is safe when drugged-out furry lil polecats go full zombie-mode on helpless victims. Does Florida deserve this? Maybe. Does some small town in Missouri? Probably not.

Jerry Blaze is known in the Splatterpunk genre as being one of the purveyors of class and sophistication. With such titles as Arachnicunt & the Honkening, you know what you are getting into when you pick up one of his books. High class boobs and blood galore, and apparently a goose at some point? All great things that I expected when I saw the title and cover of this fun little novella. Now that I know what he is capable of, I will have to hop on the other works of his I have on my stack. Definitely recommend this one and the rest if you enjoy some lighthearted chuckles that don’t require you to think too hard between the brutality, the blood, and the implosions. Plus you learn new words too!

[Eve Moss · Rating 5 out of 5]

The gore in this book was amazing, I had ferrets growing up so this book was wild ferrets already act like their on crack normally so I could see some shit like this happening if those furry little cat snakes ever got ahold of the real deal😂. A quick read that kept me extremely entertained.

[Paige Ray · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think the last line of the story sums up my thoughts very accurately, "What in the actual fuck?"

Going into this story, I knew that I would be scared because I'm terrified of Ferrets to begin with. Jerry conjured up this story of drug induced ferrets and it sent me spiraling. I kept feeling phantom ferrets in my bed after I finished this story. LOL.

When a drug dealer's stash makes its way into the ferrets enclosure at a pet supply store things go completely rogue from there. These little bastards are out for the kill. NIGHTMARE FUEL.

Go read this if you haven't! If you're extra brave or stupid like me, read it before bed.

[Alex · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a story about ferrets on flakka causing as much chaos as possible! If you didn't guess by the title, haha.

This was an extremely fun novella with all of the gore you would expect! I had a great time with this one from beginning to end

4/5

[Buck Carr · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gross, audacious, and out of control. I loved it! This was a quick, fun read. Shakespeare it is not, but if you are like me and love to indulge in cheesy 80s horror movies, creatures features (I’m looking at you Ghoulies 3) and exploitation cinema and literature, then you’ll get a kick out of this. I’m looking forward to checking out more books by Blaze. It read like a low budget shot on video horror flick from the late 80s. Blaze definitely has fun writing these stories and it shows. Keep ‘em coming!

[JD · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a fun read, that pays homage to the B horror movie creature feature style. Instead of zombeavers attacking campers or giant spiders chasing around David Arquette, we have an array of characters within this dying town in Missouri, that are being terrorized by a bunch of drug-fueled ferrets on a rampage.

When the ferrets come with the attack, how are you gonna fight back?

[Mico Jenkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Drug-addled ferrets on a killing spree - what’s not to like? The story moved quickly and kept my attention throughout the ride. This was my first foray into the world of Jerry Blaze and I’m looking forward to what else he has in store.

[Sara Lawrence · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such a unique and equally entertaining story to read. I actually have 8 ferrets so I absolutely jumped to get this to read as soon as I saw it and it did not disappoint. Blood thirsty little furry slinkies, no one is safe!

[Leslie Kurt · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you’ve ever had a ferret as a pet or have been around them in a pet store, this story will be terrifying for you. Ferrets can be mean and aggressive if they aren’t handled regularly, so this story isn’t too far-fetched. Give the ferrets drugs, and you have a “business” of homicidal sausages bouncing around town (a group of ferrets is called a business). It is splatterpunk, so the story moved fast and kept my attention. There is plenty of action and gore. I loved it. The story resembles “Cocaine Bear” but with an animal that has a much more volatile temperament.

[Emelie L · Rating 4 out of 5]

I recieved a copy of this book for an honest review and this was such a fun read! It's a quick read, only about 40 pages and it is packed with a lot of gore. Loved the writing and the fact that the book kept my interest throughout. Definitely check this out if you're looking for a short, fun and bloody read. I mean it's ferrets on drugs, you already know it's gonna be wild!

[Caribou · Rating 5 out of 5]

Totally brutal. I wanted to own a Ferret one day, perhaps not after this… I was NOT expecting the insanity that ensued in this quick extreme horror. Had me laughing AND cringing at the bloodbath. Be warned: Blaze don’t F around. Bought this on digital AND physical.

[AMANDA · Rating 5 out of 5]

AHAHAHAHA *deep breaths*

[Zach Powell · Rating 5 out of 5]

You live in a small American midwestern town. What would happen if you were to, say, let some of nature's cutest little animals have some zombifying drugs? This book is that answer. Prepare yourself to enter a world where the cute quickly becomes life's most horrifying reality. It's absolutely incredible how, in a short novella, Mr. Blaze was able to create a very immersive world where you feel like you're right there with the characters in the story!

This book has sex, romance, horror, and a whole lot of gore! Page after page is full of action. You won't be able to put this book down. If you don't like extreme horror or have a sensitive stomach to gore, I'd look elsewhere because this masterpiece has it all!

[Michelle Von · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the best horror books I've read. It's short, fast and full of gore! Definitely recommend for splatter lovers like myself.