We'd Have a Great Relationship if it Weren't for You

by Bruce Derman, Michael Hauge (Editor)

All intimate relationships that are painful, chaotic or stuck have one thing in common: the partners involved focus on their differences to prove that "one of us is better than the other." To protect themselves from the fear and vulnerability of greater intimacy, they sacrifice their love, passion and closeness in order to validate their images of superiority or inferiority.
Finally there is a book which helps couples move beneath their surface differences in order to recognize this basic truth: in any committed relationship, both partners are the same - absolutely equal in their capacity for love and intimacy.
With clarity, wit and vivid examples, "We'd Have a Great Relationship If It Weren't For You" shows how this innovative process of mutuality can replace drama and distance with lightness and joining, can greatly reduce the possibility of divorce, and can transform restrictive sex lives into ones that are expansive and free. By challenging couples to see themselves in a whole new way, this dynamic book can lead relationships out of the divisive, judgmental thinking of the difference game and into greater acceptance, passion, satisfaction and fulfillment.

367 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 1, 1994

Reviews

[Carrie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this book was very helpful in learning how to connect with people (in all aspects of life) and find the "sameness" in each of you - despite how different the differences seem. I'd give the book a higher rating but the writing style sometimes was tiresome and tedious. The information and premise is one that I'm going to try and incorporate more in my own interactions.