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George Barr McCutcheon was an American popular novelist and playwright. His best known works include the series of novels set in Graustark, a fictional East European country, and the novel Brewster's Millions, which was adapted into a play and several films.
An ostensibly socialist allegory that devolved into a benevolent dictatorship as the means to a truly functioning society. It was goofy from chapter one, but I read it so you don’t have to. I assume the author has some modicum of intelligence (he wrote the book), but after finishing, I’m not so sure.
A stow away that should have been locked in chains immediately (but that would have been the end of the story), hoodwinks a milquetoast captain into letting him work his way as payment for the cruise. The befuddled old man allows it, despite the ship escorting an array of socially prominent characters, and precious cargo, including munitions to be used in the World War 1 effort. Despite the fact that Germans were prowling the waters looking for just that kind of ship, this unknown freeloader has things his way with almost no opposition.
Well, guess what? The Germans blast the ship, and they’re a floating wreck on the ocean. Not to fear though. They literally bump into a deserted island, and are saved from a watery grave. Never mind that the U.S. Navy expended tremendous resources to find them, and they were in well established sea lanes, and almost certainly broadcasting their position to allies, but not only were they not found, the navy couldn’t find the Gilligan’s Island right in front of them.
Well stow away has a plan before they even exit the ship. He’s going to build a town (since they’ll probably never be rescued) and has it all mapped out. Milquetoast captain hands the reins of power over to him and the rest is history. Well, not quite. Not everybody is on board with this guys goofy plan, but stow away has the guns and threatens to kill half the passengers if they don’t want to play along. Apparently, that was good enough for the stupid passengers (a necessary attribute for a functioning society), and they soon come to love this bilge rat that has declared himself God.
The women certainly loved him. They swooned for the brute, because women just like being abused. It’s true, one of the female characters made a compelling case. Well, she got her man. And so did everyone else. But there was still dissent from a few educated passengers, but a few more death threats straightened them out. They came to love this guy as well.
There is no such thing as capital. Socialism is forced upon us, the purest kind of socialism, for even the socialist can’t get rich at the expense of his neighbour.
But that wasn’t quite true for stow away guy. He didn’t seem to do much work and had the most desirable quarters. How did he get quarters you say? He made the people work! From each according to his abilities don’t you know. Oh yes, they built a fine little town, with a government and everything. Of course, as luck would have it, the guys with the guns just happened to end up as leaders of their fine commie community. And boy, did those passengers love to work. Nothing like busting your ass all day just to have it all turned over as community property. The author concedes production was limited because there is no payoff in going the extra mile, but if the most base needs of community is met, what the hell.
The story continued along this ridiculous line, with some “romance” thrown in. Basically women swooning over the stow away piece of trash that bullied and threatened his way to power. Chicks just love that stuff.
“You see, there was no other way to handle you. I was obliged to resort to punitive measures. That’s always the case when you are dealing with sensible, intelligent, educated men. It is impossible to reason with an intelligent, educated man. He invariably has opinions, ideas, viewpoints of his own. He is mentally equipped to resist any kind of an argument.
So the only way this goofy dictatorship was going to work is if the people were dull-witted sheep, incapable of thought. The purest form of socialism. Yes, pure, because the guy forcing this (unrealistically) on everybody else made sure he was immune to his own dictates. Fortunately, the ship was full of strong, skilled men that chopped wood, built houses, paved roads and even build a new boat for later! What a talented group of passengers. Did I mention they loved every minute of it? They adored stow away guy, despite him threatening to kill them if they didn’t pull their weight.
A town, a government, laws-oh yeah, and the passengers went along with everything. At the point of gun that is. But that wasn’t necessary for long. They came to love this jackass and eventually groveled for his attention. You can’t make this up. Well, apparently you can; this author did. Just a whack job socialist from the 1920’s penning a story with so many plot holes you could drive a truck through it. No bathrooms though. Apparently the island did not have bathrooms.