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The Terrifying Wind: Seeking Shelter Following the Death of a Child
It took only one phone call to change a family’s life forever. When twenty-five-year-old Melissa Sullivan arrived at the hospital, she was already in a coma. Several days went by as Judith Sullivan, her husband, and her son and his wife held vigil in the hospital waiting room. Holding on to hope, the family clung to each other and to the friends that stopped by to offer support. But Melissa would not survive the cardiac arrest. Judith and her family then went on a journey. They struggled to understand how Melissa could have died. They realized that their family would have to be redefined. And they learned the value of good friends—life supporters—who walked with them on their journey. The Terrifying Seeking Shelter Following the Death of a Child is a haunting and honest account of how one family survived such a horrible assault to its psyche. Anyone who has lost a child or a loved one will find hope at the end of the storm. Anyone who has felt helpless watching a friend struggle to cope with such a loss will find a practical guide on how to become a life supporter to someone whose life has been turned upside down. And in the end, Judith Sullivan gives the reader hope that there is a way to go on. There is a way to find shelter.
"This is a powerful book about the senseless, devastating loss caused by eating disorders. It is a compelling story about a family’s pain and how their grief has reformed their lives and their community. Through the support of family, friends, and therapy, they rebuild their forever-changed lives. It is a must read for people dealing with eating disorders and anyone who has lost someone close." —Dirk Miller, Ph.D., Founder and Executive Director of The Emily Program "This moving account of the sudden cardiac arrest death of a beloved daughter—young, lovely and accomplished—is a study of the harrowing disorientation of loss. Judith Sullivan’s fearless documentary of her family’s experience is remarkable, gripping and immediate. Part memoir, part medical investigation and—unique to the literature of grief—a gallery of clear-eyed portraits of friends who steadfastly supported her in the spiral of unspeakable grief. Too often accounts of loss make it seem that healing happens alone, in the secrecy of the heart. Maybe. But this book makes the more profound—and infinitely more useful— it may take a village to raise a child, but it takes an even more loving one to sustain a mother’s loss of that beloved child." —Patricia Hampl, Ph.D., recipient of the prestigious MacArthur Fellowship, author of numerous award-winning books, most recently The Florist’s Daughter "What a profound, searing, and beautifully written book. If you’ve lost a child, you will sense that Judith Sullivan is a trustworthy guide who waited just enough years to write her story. If your loved one has lost a child, you will learn about offering sensitive and steadfast support. I was riveted and inspired from beginning to end." —William J. Doherty, Ph.D., Professor of Family Social Science at the University of Minnesota and author of Take Back Your Sticking Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart
"This is a powerful book about the senseless, devastating loss caused by eating disorders. It is a compelling story about a family’s pain and how their grief has reformed their lives and their community. Through the support of family, friends, and therapy, they rebuild their forever-changed lives. It is a must read for people dealing with eating disorders and anyone who has lost someone close." —Dirk Miller, Ph.D., Founder and Executive Director of The Emily Program "This moving account of the sudden cardiac arrest death of a beloved daughter—young, lovely and accomplished—is a study of the harrowing disorientation of loss. Judith Sullivan’s fearless documentary of her family’s experience is remarkable, gripping and immediate. Part memoir, part medical investigation and—unique to the literature of grief—a gallery of clear-eyed portraits of friends who steadfastly supported her in the spiral of unspeakable grief. Too often accounts of loss make it seem that healing happens alone, in the secrecy of the heart. Maybe. But this book makes the more profound—and infinitely more useful— it may take a village to raise a child, but it takes an even more loving one to sustain a mother’s loss of that beloved child." —Patricia Hampl, Ph.D., recipient of the prestigious MacArthur Fellowship, author of numerous award-winning books, most recently The Florist’s Daughter "What a profound, searing, and beautifully written book. If you’ve lost a child, you will sense that Judith Sullivan is a trustworthy guide who waited just enough years to write her story. If your loved one has lost a child, you will learn about offering sensitive and steadfast support. I was riveted and inspired from beginning to end." —William J. Doherty, Ph.D., Professor of Family Social Science at the University of Minnesota and author of Take Back Your Sticking Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart
210 pages, Paperback
First published January 24, 2014
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Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
March 3, 2014
This recently published, somber book is absolutely beautifully written by a mother aching with grief at the sudden death of her 25-year-old daughter. I was stunned how deep and long (12 years and counting) the grief to the mother and father lasted, and the steps they took to keep themselves going and to keep the spirit of their daughter alive.
Judy Sullivan (the author) is a psychologist with a major hospital. Her husband is a Poly Sci professor at the University of Minnesota. What is not revealed in the book is their daughter was a Carleton College graduate. Just this past week 3 young men from Carleton died in a car accident, and I now have a sense of the pain their parents will be going through.
The Sullivan’s live across the street from me, yet I barely know them. I knew of their loss, but it didn’t hit me until I read the book. I feel embarrassed I did not participate in helping pull and maintain the lifeline they needed (and did receive from others).
One lesson I felt I learned from their book is it is ok to send their book to other parents who also lost a child. I did this for a colleague right after reading it. Another is if you are a good friend who really wants to help, you should do it consistently and make the arrangements. The grief stricken can decline or go. They didn’t have to do the work. For example, one couple friend took them to an ethnic restaurant every Sunday night for at least the 1st year.
Judy Sullivan (the author) is a psychologist with a major hospital. Her husband is a Poly Sci professor at the University of Minnesota. What is not revealed in the book is their daughter was a Carleton College graduate. Just this past week 3 young men from Carleton died in a car accident, and I now have a sense of the pain their parents will be going through.
The Sullivan’s live across the street from me, yet I barely know them. I knew of their loss, but it didn’t hit me until I read the book. I feel embarrassed I did not participate in helping pull and maintain the lifeline they needed (and did receive from others).
One lesson I felt I learned from their book is it is ok to send their book to other parents who also lost a child. I did this for a colleague right after reading it. Another is if you are a good friend who really wants to help, you should do it consistently and make the arrangements. The grief stricken can decline or go. They didn’t have to do the work. For example, one couple friend took them to an ethnic restaurant every Sunday night for at least the 1st year.
May 3, 2014
Not really sure what to say.... The book is beautifully written and insightful for multiple types of grief. I know Judy through her husband John so the personal connection to the book definitely interested me.
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews