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It's only Embarrassing if you're Embarrassed: God is good even when life isn't.
This book is about my recovery from anxiety, depression, addiction, and suicidal thoughts. It encapsulates the evolution of my hardest years to date, when I experienced the death of my father, my messy divorce, mental health struggles so severe I thought the only way out was taking my own life, and recovery from addiction of all kinds. Through the mercy of God, the help of my therapist, psychiatrist, Alcoholics Anonymous home group, family, friends, and my love, I was able to come out on the other side into a life where I could finally stop the anxiety and depression long enough to enjoy my days to come rather than wishing or drinking them away.
After many years of running from pain, I realized I had never really escaped it, because it had remained with me the whole time. It followed me to the Bahamas, Florida, Texas, the beach, and the mountains; no matter where I went, the pain was with me. I soon realized the only way to actually escape the pain was to feel it and heal through it. I couldn’t run anymore. The pain was too deep to escape without feeling it and moving through it, one day at a time.
This story unpacks my messy years, the chapters I don’t want to read out loud, much less share. But I want to share because this is life—messy, unfiltered life—and we all experience pain that we wish didn’t exist, like the guilt and stigma I felt in every challenge I went through. These days felt like years, and the years felt like a lifetime that would never end. This is a story of raw hope, authenticity, faith, and facing pain, even though it would have been so much easier to run and hide from it.
Each chapter of this book unpacks a “spiral” I went through during a span of two and a half years. I share what I experienced during those times, what I learned from each spiral, and the advice I would have given myself then if I knew what I know now.
As you’re reading these struggles, I want you know that I am okay now and that you too can overcome these challenges if you are experiencing them yourself. I no longer experience these spirals or think these thoughts. I am (mostly) healed, mentally and emotionally stable, and finally exactly who I needed to be this whole time. It took a few years and a lotta breakdowns, faith, and breakthroughs, but I love who I am now.
This book is for anyone looking for peace. For anyone looking to escape the anxiety, depression, guilt, or pain that grips each of us at some point in our life. For anyone who needs a story about hope, about recovery and about moving through the pain to the other side. This book is for anyone in need of a story about hope and love, because let’s be real. Hope and love can get you through anything.
I hope this book teaches you to love who you are, even the parts of you that carry shame; those parts are just as in need of love as the rest of you, if not more. I hope this book gives you hope during your dark times. I hope it normalizes mental health struggles, divorce, grief, pain, and loss. I hope you find that your Higher Power is always there to help you and guide you, no matter the circumstance, and most importantly, I hope you find the strength to keep going.
This book is dedicated in thanks to my mom. Without her unconditional love and support over these past few years, I would have taken my own life. So, this book is for her and for all the mothers that keep us alive, one way or another.
After many years of running from pain, I realized I had never really escaped it, because it had remained with me the whole time. It followed me to the Bahamas, Florida, Texas, the beach, and the mountains; no matter where I went, the pain was with me. I soon realized the only way to actually escape the pain was to feel it and heal through it. I couldn’t run anymore. The pain was too deep to escape without feeling it and moving through it, one day at a time.
This story unpacks my messy years, the chapters I don’t want to read out loud, much less share. But I want to share because this is life—messy, unfiltered life—and we all experience pain that we wish didn’t exist, like the guilt and stigma I felt in every challenge I went through. These days felt like years, and the years felt like a lifetime that would never end. This is a story of raw hope, authenticity, faith, and facing pain, even though it would have been so much easier to run and hide from it.
Each chapter of this book unpacks a “spiral” I went through during a span of two and a half years. I share what I experienced during those times, what I learned from each spiral, and the advice I would have given myself then if I knew what I know now.
As you’re reading these struggles, I want you know that I am okay now and that you too can overcome these challenges if you are experiencing them yourself. I no longer experience these spirals or think these thoughts. I am (mostly) healed, mentally and emotionally stable, and finally exactly who I needed to be this whole time. It took a few years and a lotta breakdowns, faith, and breakthroughs, but I love who I am now.
This book is for anyone looking for peace. For anyone looking to escape the anxiety, depression, guilt, or pain that grips each of us at some point in our life. For anyone who needs a story about hope, about recovery and about moving through the pain to the other side. This book is for anyone in need of a story about hope and love, because let’s be real. Hope and love can get you through anything.
I hope this book teaches you to love who you are, even the parts of you that carry shame; those parts are just as in need of love as the rest of you, if not more. I hope this book gives you hope during your dark times. I hope it normalizes mental health struggles, divorce, grief, pain, and loss. I hope you find that your Higher Power is always there to help you and guide you, no matter the circumstance, and most importantly, I hope you find the strength to keep going.
This book is dedicated in thanks to my mom. Without her unconditional love and support over these past few years, I would have taken my own life. So, this book is for her and for all the mothers that keep us alive, one way or another.
129 pages, Kindle Edition
Published December 15, 2023
1 person want to read
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