What a sad story this is: a first person narrator with literary aspirations who finds himself endlessly “held back” by he knows not what engages in relentless self-excoriation and reaches for increasingly far-fetched poetic expressions to convey his sense of creative and personal frustration.
As it happens, I can personally identify with many aspects of what the narrator describes, in the novel’s opening sentence, as his “blight”, and I found much of this work engaging. I was particularly interested in hints the narrator drops on how his own creative manifesto has evolved over time, culminating, presumably, in the writing of the book that is in our hands. I did, though, find the last part of the novel, where we see more of the life of the narrator in his fifties or sixties, a bit of a grind, as it becomes increasingly clear the narrator is unlikely ever to free himself from all that mentally ails him, and that all the fragments of his experience to which we have been introduced are likely to remain… well, just fragments.
The work forms an interesting contrast to the oeuvre of Gerald Murnane. Both this work and much of Murnane’s seem to invite the description “autofiction”, yet the two writers’ approaches to this genre could not be more different, with Murnane preferring to tease and tease away at the significance some image in his memory, working outwards from that image to other associations, while Gerke appears to have adopted an approach more like “if I throw enough mud from my past at this wall, perhaps eventually some of it will stick, and I will be free at last from what troubles me”.
Personally I’m not convinced that Gerke’s approach creates a more satisfying work of art. However, I do think this is a damn brave try.