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This Isn't Working for Me: A Practical Guide for Making Every Relationship in Your Life More Fulfilling, Authentic, and Intentional
It’s me. No, it’s you. Maybe it’s both of us?
We all want to avoid drama and pain in our relationships, yet we remain stuck in never-ending cycles of misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and triggering interactions. Sometimes it just seems easier to decide we are “done” with people rather than continue trying over and over again. Even our best and closest relationships―with our partners, friends, family, and colleagues―can feel unduly challenging.
In this straightforward guide, expert relationship therapists Edrica Richardson and Ilene Cohen get to the heart of what it means to really be in fulfilling relationships and why connecting with the ones you love can feel so hard. You’ll learn how “doing the work” encourages healing and growth within yourself and within your relationships.
Filled with activities, quizzes, and prompts that offer support in every step of the process, This Isn’t Working for Me will help you go deeper in your relationships by exploring:
• Six steps to creating the relationships you want―Discover the foundational elements that will help you build (or build back) strong, sustainable connections.
• Self-empowerment―Learn how a willingness to focus on yourself helps cultivate resilience, trust, and a stronger sense of self.
• The science of relationships―Understand what happens in the brain and body when you are upset and angry, and learn the benefits of turning impulsive reactions into responses that you choose.
Creating and maintaining strong, fulfilling relationships doesn’t mean disregarding your own boundaries or letting go of what you want for the sake of “keeping the peace” in your home, family, friend group, or workplace. Instead, it means being more yourself! By moving into the fullness of who you are, you can claim freedom and agency in your own life, learn how to release blame, and cultivate happier and healthier relationships with those you love.
We all want to avoid drama and pain in our relationships, yet we remain stuck in never-ending cycles of misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and triggering interactions. Sometimes it just seems easier to decide we are “done” with people rather than continue trying over and over again. Even our best and closest relationships―with our partners, friends, family, and colleagues―can feel unduly challenging.
In this straightforward guide, expert relationship therapists Edrica Richardson and Ilene Cohen get to the heart of what it means to really be in fulfilling relationships and why connecting with the ones you love can feel so hard. You’ll learn how “doing the work” encourages healing and growth within yourself and within your relationships.
Filled with activities, quizzes, and prompts that offer support in every step of the process, This Isn’t Working for Me will help you go deeper in your relationships by exploring:
• Six steps to creating the relationships you want―Discover the foundational elements that will help you build (or build back) strong, sustainable connections.
• Self-empowerment―Learn how a willingness to focus on yourself helps cultivate resilience, trust, and a stronger sense of self.
• The science of relationships―Understand what happens in the brain and body when you are upset and angry, and learn the benefits of turning impulsive reactions into responses that you choose.
Creating and maintaining strong, fulfilling relationships doesn’t mean disregarding your own boundaries or letting go of what you want for the sake of “keeping the peace” in your home, family, friend group, or workplace. Instead, it means being more yourself! By moving into the fullness of who you are, you can claim freedom and agency in your own life, learn how to release blame, and cultivate happier and healthier relationships with those you love.
220 pages, Paperback
Published March 26, 2024
5 people are currently reading
2390 people want to read
About the author
Ilene S. Cohen
11 books69 followersDr. Ilene S. Cohen, PhD, is a licensed marriage and family therapist, author, and mother of two young girls. She is one of the most respected voices in the psychology of people-pleasing and navigating the difficulty of living an intentional life while trying to maintain fulfilling relationships. She is the author of 5 books, all of which have received awards and 5-star ratings from her readers. These include her most famous book, When It's Never About You, and her latest book, Anxious for Answers.
She's a regular contributor to Psychology Today, with dedicated readers in the millions. Her books and therapy practice are fueled by a passion for helping people achieve their goals, build a strong sense of self, and lead fulfilling and meaningful lives. As president of her family's foundation, Dr. Ilene oversees various initiatives geared toward creating better opportunities for those in need.
Link to Indiereader.com book reviews:
https://indiereader.com/2018/01/when-...
https://indiereader.com/book_review/a...
https://indiereader.com/book_review/i...
She's a regular contributor to Psychology Today, with dedicated readers in the millions. Her books and therapy practice are fueled by a passion for helping people achieve their goals, build a strong sense of self, and lead fulfilling and meaningful lives. As president of her family's foundation, Dr. Ilene oversees various initiatives geared toward creating better opportunities for those in need.
Link to Indiereader.com book reviews:
https://indiereader.com/2018/01/when-...
https://indiereader.com/book_review/a...
https://indiereader.com/book_review/i...
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
February 19, 2025
Book Review: This Isn't Working for Me by Ilene S. Cohen & Edrica D. Richardson
Navigating relationships—whether romantic, familial, or professional—can often feel like an uphill battle. In This Isn't Working for Me, expert relationship therapists Ilene S. Cohen and Edrica D. Richardson offer a refreshing and practical guide to breaking unhealthy cycles, fostering self-awareness, and building stronger, more fulfilling connections.
What sets this book apart is its interactive approach. Through quizzes, activities, and insightful prompts, readers are encouraged to reflect on their own behaviors, reactions, and emotional triggers. The book doesn’t just focus on fixing relationships—it emphasizes the importance of personal growth as the foundation for meaningful connections.
The authors break down complex relationship dynamics into six actionable steps, helping readers understand how self-empowerment, emotional regulation, and setting healthy boundaries contribute to long-lasting bonds. They also delve into the science of relationships, explaining how our brain and body react to conflict and how we can shift from impulsive reactions to mindful responses.
Rather than advocating for people-pleasing or avoiding conflict, This Isn't Working for Me encourages readers to embrace their authentic selves while fostering deeper understanding and trust with others. It’s an invaluable resource for anyone seeking to improve their relationships and create lasting, positive change. Highly recommended for individuals, couples, and professionals looking to strengthen their connections in a healthy, sustainable way.
Navigating relationships—whether romantic, familial, or professional—can often feel like an uphill battle. In This Isn't Working for Me, expert relationship therapists Ilene S. Cohen and Edrica D. Richardson offer a refreshing and practical guide to breaking unhealthy cycles, fostering self-awareness, and building stronger, more fulfilling connections.
What sets this book apart is its interactive approach. Through quizzes, activities, and insightful prompts, readers are encouraged to reflect on their own behaviors, reactions, and emotional triggers. The book doesn’t just focus on fixing relationships—it emphasizes the importance of personal growth as the foundation for meaningful connections.
The authors break down complex relationship dynamics into six actionable steps, helping readers understand how self-empowerment, emotional regulation, and setting healthy boundaries contribute to long-lasting bonds. They also delve into the science of relationships, explaining how our brain and body react to conflict and how we can shift from impulsive reactions to mindful responses.
Rather than advocating for people-pleasing or avoiding conflict, This Isn't Working for Me encourages readers to embrace their authentic selves while fostering deeper understanding and trust with others. It’s an invaluable resource for anyone seeking to improve their relationships and create lasting, positive change. Highly recommended for individuals, couples, and professionals looking to strengthen their connections in a healthy, sustainable way.
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April 3, 2025This book was recommended to me by a friend who is a relationship counsellor. Because of its relatively higher price I bought the Kindle version, and I regret that, as the hard copy would be more useful. It’s basically a workbook that you can refer to again and again, with quizzes and spaces to write down insights/feelings.
September 12, 2024
The word "practical" is in the title for a reason. I found it be very practical, not difficult to understand, and I wouldn't hesitate to recommend this book to couples that I work with.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews