We Only Played Home Games: Wacky, Raunchy, Humorous Stories of Sports and Other Events in Michigan's Maximum Security Prison

by Leonard Brumm

Until now, there has never been a book in the entire world ever written about prison sports and recreation. "We Only Played Home Games" is full of wacky, hilarious, bizarre, and even deadly true stories that will rivet the reader to the book. The stories are about four years the author spent organizing, installing and administrating a very controversial, but highly effective sports and recreation program in Michigan's maximum security prison at Marquette. This prison is considered one of the toughest in the country not only because all of the inmates are hardened, repeat offenders - but because Michigan does not have the death penalty. In states with capital punishment, condemned convicts on death row are not allowed any of the recreation privileges available to the general prison population until they are executed. The warden realized he had a human carbuncle on his hands with "600 of the worst bastards" in Michigan housed inside the walls. Downstate, the Jackson prison (largest walled prison in the world - 6,000 inmates) was just recovering from a huge riot. All of the ringleaders (plus some of their subordinates) had been sent to Marquette, the Siberia of Michigan! The warden could not find enough work for these dangerous "malcontents" and he could not keep them locked in their cells all day. To allow them to roam around the exercise yard with nothing to do guaranteed a future disaster in a very big way! The "joint" could be torn down, people killed, careers ruined. To circumvent this, the warden decided on a very intensive sports and recreation program to keep this select group of human bombs from exploding. He hired the author, Leonard "Oakie" Brumm to implement it. During the four years described, the author did what he was paid to do, and then some! Any convict (who behaved himself) was offered the opportunity to participate (either actively - or as a spectator) in practically every sport and game known to the civilized world (including some that were invented in the prison). The effect was astonishing! Previously, all these convicts had to think about was getting out, one way or another. Now their minds were shifted, consciously or unconsciously, to their next round of miniature golf, their next shuffleboard contest, or worried if rain would stop their upcoming bocci ball game. Could the visiting "outside" softball team hit the "joint’s" star pitcher today, or was the weather going to be OK for the big football game on Sunday? The inmates even got to see the World Championship Detroit Red Wings face off against the Marquette Prison Pirates in the most unusual hockey game ever played. Now, there were lots of things to think about other than getting out or raising hell! The public and the guards had a hard time accepting this program, but knowledgeable penologists in Michigan gave it credit for "keeping the lid on the joint" during these very delicate times. This is a fascinating account of life in a totally different world. Readers will come away with their eyes’ opened, and their heads spinning.

228 pages, Paperback

First published January 15, 2002

Reviews

[Patrick Hodges · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. TLDR: A solidly interesting and entertaining collection, if at times a bit repetitive in content.

Bought this book thinking it would be mostly humorous, and while it certainly was at points, there is a lot more frank discussion of unsavory prison activity than I initially expected (rape, murder, animal cruelty, etc). While I thought these topics would come up in some capacity, Brumm is content to bluntly lay out the facts of each case without spending any time on the immorality of the actions at hand.
The parts of this book that I belive shine the most come in two categories. The first is things that were surprsing or outlandish in a pleasant way, antics that I couldn't imagine taking place in a prison. The second would be the moments of genuine human connection found, when prisoner and athletic director find common ground and it seems like even the worst people aren't too far gone, rehabilitation is possible.
On that topic, whether or not prisons are ultimately for punishment or rehabilitation is a question that comes up in the book several times, but which Brumm ultimately sidesteps for the most part. I got the impression he believes that his program was rehabilitative, but he also refers to it as primarily being a "distraction" from the harsh reality of prison life.
The biggest issue I would say is that some chapters feel like they cover the same ground, with almost the same wording, and there's definately some trimming/re-ordering that I think would help the flow of the book overall. Brumm is not a writer by trade, and it shows in places, but it also lends the book a quality of just being stories told by an old man about his adventures in decades past. I also think that the bluntness about some pretty unpleaseant topics can be a turn off for some people; Brumm seems a bit desensitized to it all, and not adressing his feelings on it is mentioned as being a self preservation strategy from when he worked at Marquette, so it makes sense that it'd carry over.
Overall, I'd say worth looking through, if only for a couple stanout sections.

[J.C. · Rating 3 out of 5]

this would make one freaky movie,