Letters to a Leaving Mormon

by Ashley Mae Hoiland

241 pages, Paperback

Published November 1, 2023

About the author

HI, I'M ASHMAE.

I write, I paint, I teach, I explore, but most of all I try to connect to the people and places around me.

Reviews

[Bridgette Armitstead · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Ashley’s style of writing. It is so poetic and metaphorical and descriptive, it really speaks to me. This book felt like a hug, and it was one I desperately needed. If you are in the early stages of leaving/deconstructing, do yourself a favor and pick this one up.

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Maybe if I had read this a decade ago, when I was still in the process of leaving, it would have made more of an impact. But I found myself not able to relate to it and rolling my eyes a lot at the "advice" tone. (It also could have used some better editing in a few spots, with missed spaces and two whole paragraphs that repeat themselves word for word.)

That said, not enough books about leaving Mormonism exist, so still 4 stars. I like the idea of someone else being helped by a book like this.

[Maryn Tan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Required reading for any leaving Mormon and an important read for anyone who loves a leaving Mormon. Be prepared to bring it to therapy

[Jessica Bailey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful, healing, poetic. I loved this series of short essays on various aspects of life and how they were affected for her by Mormonism and also by leaving it behind. I found so much of it extremely relatable, but even the parts of her story that were different from mine were valuable and healing for me to read. Highly recommend.

📖

[Sara Carruth · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was good for my heart, and in many ways felt like a warm hug from a friend. I’ve been reading it a chapter or two at a time while I drink tea in the mornings because I’ve wanted to take my time with her beautiful, poetic writing style. Leaving religion is a complicated topic, and Hoiland wrote about her experiences with compassion and insight, while also holding space for circumstances different than her own. It was very relatable, and I appreciated that she left a lot of room for me to consider my own experiences and conclusions, by encouraging self reflection and self trust.

[Alyssa · Rating 3 out of 5]

My favorite line, from the essay On Tradition: "Rather than doing wrong by the past, I've done right by the future."

[Alex · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved reading this book with my whole heart. I felt so seen, understood, and validated. Absolutely beautiful writing. This is definitely a new favorite of mine. 10/10 recommend!!

[Roots.Branches.Wellness]

Letters to a Leaving Mormon is an incredibly thoughtful and helpful book, not just for ones leaving religion but for their family members as well. It can be a great conversation catalyst for mixed-faith marriages or parent/child or sibling relationships. The chapters, such as “On Anger” “On Children” “On Reclaiming Emotions’’ etc. offer @birdsofashmae beautifully written personal insights along with advice and permission you might get while sitting down for a chat with a good friend.

“Moving forward in your life after Mormonism can feel so painful because each step you take, no matter how exhilarating, is also a move away from someone and something that you once loved. It is stepping out of an old world and into a new one.”

“Each time you gather the courage to attempt a new tradition, or to not participate in an old one, you are garnering your own power. You are tilling new soil, planting new seeds, growing a garden of your design, not simply tending to the one you believe your ancestors have deeded to you.”

[Chan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very beautiful well written book that describes the experiences of leaving on a very deep and descriptive level. I loved how heart felt the book was. I loved how many emotions I experienced while I read the articulate words. Thank you for such a beautiful book. Thank you for taking the time to make a safe space for people. Thank you for elaborating on so much on each topic. You are an amazing person. ❤️

[Amy Egbert · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really appreciated this perspective. So many insights and while my experience is different from Ashley's, I find her insights to be thought provoking, and her process evokes a kind of slow, still, intuitive thinking and listening.

I especially love the idea woven throughout that you are still who you are, regardless of how your beliefs change. Mormonism isn't the reason you are good.

"Whoever and whatever you were before leaving mormonism is still yours if you want it."

[Maren Childs · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was recommended to me, and every excerpt I saw pop up was so interesting, so I had to read it. Beautifully written, like her other writing I've read. Learning to be gracious with all versions of yourself is a continuing theme throughout the various chapters and experiences that she writes about; I could always use more of that self kindness & compassion in my life.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written, honest and raw, Hoiland has put into words so much of what I have felt and experienced and haven’t been able to articulate. Read this book if you have ever been Mormon, are currently Mormon, or have ever loved anyone who has gone through a faith transition.

[Carrie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written and so relatable

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very useful and thought provoking and just generally necessary.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone's experiences are unique and individual, but the overlap can also be astounding. I felt very seen and understood while reading this.

[Sean McQuay · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel deeply seen and heard.