Hoof

by Carrie Lacina

This irreverent, thrilling dark comedy will have you laughing out loud and hoping for mercy, for murder, and probably for a Frisbee! But Sera doesn't know that as she stands in front of The B****'s house thinking of all the ways her best friend manipulated and abused her through the years. So many, many friends did the exact same things to her. What was wrong with her? She'd always been a good friend. A nice friend. In fact, she had been so nice that her friends chewed her up and spit her out. Not anymore. When Sera decides to become a serial killer, she is the first person to question her sanity. Being a serial killer isn't for everyone. She knows that. It's a lot of hard work. You have to select victims, find ways to kill them, wipe up your prints, and worst of all, you have to dispose of the bodies. Still, after being gaslit for years, it's the only way to reclaim her sanity. It's fine. She has a list. She has a Prius, and she has a bit of rope left over from the last time she moved. She's got this. All she has to do is get in some quick practice, abduct a victim or two, and she'll be well on her way to achieving her ultimate goal of killing The B**** and everyone else who wronged her. Even when it's deadly, fulfilling her destiny of becoming a serial killer is bound to be fun-for you, for her it might be a little problematic. That doesn't matter though. Sera has to defeat The B****. She knows this. We all know this because, unfortunately, we all have a B****.

354 pages, Paperback

Published October 28, 2023

Reviews

[Jennifer Muller · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved it and can’t wait to read the next book, even though Carrie Lacina didn’t leave us on a cliffhanger (ty!)

Hoof is a dark comedy where the narrator’s quirky thoughts give you a glimpse into her motivations and processes. Sera (sounds like the name Sarah) is lovable and comfortable with trying new things. With many pop culture references you can tell she’s living in the modern American world. Although her smartphone does have the world at her fingertips, she gets by with thinking up ideas, and then overthinking them…but somehow nearly always is surprised by something she didn’t think of. What a lesson in overthinking not actually solving every little detail!

I feel Sera’s a modern girl and the type to keep a Pinterest board, but because it would be about murder and she’s smart enough to know she can’t leave a digital trail like that.

Fairly short chapters led me to have dopamine hits as I completed chapter after chapter. I enjoyed many ways the author described things, such as:

“…Battalion of bitches…”
“…Merrits of their assholishness…”
“…Felt more like old-Hollywood than poverty…”
“…Residual objectification issues…”
“….Coordinated animal farm ballet…”

Ooh and it was the first time seeing the plural of Prius, Prii, in print! I thought that was pretty cool.

Similar to another favorite read, Lessons in Chemistry, the dog is also named after a number.

Looking forward to reading the next book in the series.

[Victoria · Rating 4 out of 5]

***Warning: Spoilers***

Overall, Hoof was a great read. It follows Sera as she develops into a Serial Killer in order to kill those who have hurt her and wronged her, especially the one she calls "The B***h". I did struggle within the first several chapters where Sera realizes that she needs to practice how she is going to kill. Unfortunately, she did not grow up killing animals/bugs (as most serial killers do) and she has no idea how she is going to kill. She decides to adopt a dog to use as her first kill. Things at this point got a bit too vivid for me and I almost stopped reading this book. ***NO animals were harmed!!!!*** Luckily I didn't stop reading this book at this point as I quickly got hooked. This author, Carrie Lacina, definitely set the ending of this book up for a sequel and I absolutely cannot wait till it is released!

I did also struggle with some of the point of view transitions throughout the book as they did not seem completely clear to me. If it was not for this and the almost 'do not finish moment' described above I would have given it 5/5 stars.

Thank you to the author and publisher for the opportunity to read this book and in return, offer my complete and honest opinion.

[Linda Rorex · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sera turns into a serial killer after those who hurt her and wronged her especially her former best friend who she called bad names and manipulated and abused her. Sera is new to serial killing and needs to practice to accomplish her goal of becoming a serial killer. There is some strong language in this book. I had the pleasure of meeting the author at a book signing event and I really loved reading this hilarious women’s fiction novel. I received a free copy of this book and I am leaving an honest review.

[ChelleBe · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve often thought what I would be like as a serial killer. And that’s the premise of this book. The main character is new at being a serial killer and hilariously flubs her way through it. It’s a light quick read it’s very entertaining and I would highly recommend it to others.the delay in dates is I had the flu for three weeks and I couldn’t keep my eyes open to read it. We definitely read this author again. I received an advanced reader copy, and I’m leaving an honest review.

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

I like how this book was written. It doesn’t bounce around like the other book I read. I also like that the other non-person character is also involved in the book. I would recommend it to my friends. Easy to read and it was an interesting story.

[Kellee Hieb · Rating 5 out of 5]

Seriously one of the best, funniest books I've ever read. You root for Sera the whole time. 42 and Pig are legit the best side characters and I love everything about this whole story. A+++++++++++

[Gina · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Atleast she was right about the sunrise, it was beautiful…..” what a fun, cute, but also dark book. I can’t wait to see how sera aka (SARAH) continues to perfect her craft. ❤️🤪😈

[Hope Hill · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked this up because the premise intrigued me. I wasn't sure how this was going to go especially since Sera's not great at serial killing. The only hard to get through parts were at the very beginning when she plans to kill 42 and later the pigs. She's slightly more successful with Pig since she at least manages to graze him but it's still uncomfortable. Luckily, all the animals survive. I think I'd have DNFed the series if Sera killed 42. The little dog's adorable and even the pigs are fairly charming even if they are far too comfortable eating people and committing homicide. Not sure who else is on the list since no-one else is mentioned in book one and I know there's at least one more book coming. I'm glad it didn't end on a cliff-hanger though.

TL:DR: Woman decides the only way to handle her ex-best-friend is to become a serial killer. Having zero experience decides to start with animals. Ends up rescuing the animals instead. Pigs are scary.

[Andy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wild ride for sure with this one. I adored the main character and all the hijinks she gets herself into on her journey to becoming a killer. She’s unstable, unpredictable, and well… a serial killer. And yet, I’m rooting for her. Will definitely be reading the sequel when I can get my hands on a copy!
5 stars.