Mr. Crabby You Have Died

by Jeremy Kitchen, Michael P. Daley (Introduction)

Mr. Crabby You Have Died is a demented romp that sways between memoir and fiction. The first full-length work by Jeremy Kitchen—a public librarian, former dope fiend, and U.S. Army artillery observer in Desert Storm—this book is an involuntary regurgitation of a life that is as comic as it is horrifying.

Kitchen lays bare his world through a series of interlocking exorcisms that deny linear time and good taste. Lost years in the Sarin-laced Persian Gulf drift backwards into Detroit’s acid trash landscape, only to corkscrew forward again into a seemingly endless Chicago night of heroin, handguns, and idiot pranksterism. He paints us a picaresque sprawl with blunt prose—ever haunted by the ungraspable shadow of combat and populated by the likes of an evangelical sadist, a sex-positive trustafarian, and an enigmatic preppie known only as Crackhead Anthony.

A nausea-inducing affront to sentimentality and the literary arts both, Mr. Crabby You Have Died is a collection of parables about the stupid beauty of youth, the boredom of addiction, and the intensity of dreams. This is a deranged effort of immense power and hilarity that irradiates with an unvarnished heart.

136 pages, Paperback

Published January 1, 2023

Reviews

[Cleo · Rating 3 out of 5]

Would do a line with him

[Maxwell Walker · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book is weird and gross and all over the place and it really worked for me. i thought it was perfect. i would recommend reading the publishers note

[jenny reads a lot]

rec via Rebecca

[Miles Erbe · Rating 5 out of 5]

The most entertaining book I’ve read in awhile. I suggest reading it 1-2 stories at a time to let the comedic depravity situations to really sink in. Truly laughed out loud and was disturbed in the best way possible. Personal favorite entries: “Snow Angels”, “Vomitrosis” and “Sergeant Young Sees a Ghost”.

[Pete · Rating 4 out of 5]

there is a lot of shit and a lot of puke in this tome, both literal and metaphorical. the preface argues that it's a kind of exploration of modern usamerican malaise, and it works well in that way, especially with the connection to iraq, a country whose fortunes of the past 50 years are so awfully intertwined with those of the usa's. the narrator is there as a soldier during the first gulf war; he returns facing the same kinds of struggles philip klay depicts in "redeployment," but with an altogether different pathos and perspective. humor and middle fingers are more prominent here, somehow; lots of humor, pyromaniacal humor. it's a punk rock book, and i highly recommend it, especially to chicagoans.

[Zack · Rating 5 out of 5]

I got this at a Room of One's Own in Madison and it was very good: economic prose that feels like a natural flow and highly entertaining. The narrative of veteran Jerms's life in Detroit and I think Chicago is also referenced before and after his time as a soldier is punctuated in three or four places by him "projectile vomiting" (you know how when you cut out pet words, things stand out?). Maybe this is the fiction blended with memoir, or else these parts are true. Either way, it's an interesting characteristic for a book that has nothing to do with projectile vomiting otherwise, and lends a special something to the proceedings. I kept on reading from the time I started and finished on the train ride back to Denver.

[Rebecca Rash · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25
Picked this up after seeing the cover at a cute little shop in Chicago. Never had heard of it before and it sounded dark and weird so I thought what the hell ill buy it. This book is dark, gritty, and truly wild. Autofic that made me seriously question how this guy is still alive if only 1/5 of this is factual. Sad but funny and just a crazy romp of sex, drugs, and questionable behavior. I just tore through this. Highly recommend.

[Dev · Rating 3 out of 5]

The US war machine and addiction as active cycles, shifting between background and foreground in Kitchen’s life. Funny and really gross. Made me realize how well addiction plays into auto-fiction, given the line between truth and embellishment is already so thin and malleable, it’s hardly even worth distinguishing.

Fave story: Snow Angels

[Jeremy Kitchen · Rating 3 out of 5]

What to say about this book.... do not take on this book unless you have a strong stomach and a willingness to dive into a world of bizarre antics. That being said I partly enjoyed being dragged along the non-linear drug fueled memories. Getting to see how another Jeremy Kitchen lived certainly was eye opening.

[MJ Petro · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was fun. The author took a lot of drugs and somehow lived to tell about it. I lived in the Bucktown neighborhood of Chicago in the early 90’s. So, revisiting the neighborhood was nostalgic. Anyway, Vomitrosis had me laughing out loud. Thank you for your service. Recommended.

[Zac Caprous · Rating 4 out of 5]

funny and sad and crazy

[Sally · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5.. oscillates between riotous and grotesque punk antics to devastating loneliness, adriftness. A lovely blend of heartbreaking and fun.

[Olive · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious, tragic, deliberate, captivating, nauseating, enlightened.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

A bizarre, moving, poignant story about the long shadow of one's past.

[Hank Schwabacher · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars. Great fun

[Molly]

This is just for Mr Crabby. Miss you Mr Crabby. You must never die.