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How to Really Love Your Angry Child
Few things in life are as important as raising our children. But sometimes, even
when you do your best, you find that you need help addressing your child's anger--and,
as a result, your own anger. If this is your situation--there is real cause for
hope! In this breakthrough book, Dr. D. Ross Campbell helps both you and your
child deal with this little understood emotion. You'll learn the stages of a child's
life and how anger manifests itself at each juncture. And you'll learn the practical
steps to take when you face it in your home.
when you do your best, you find that you need help addressing your child's anger--and,
as a result, your own anger. If this is your situation--there is real cause for
hope! In this breakthrough book, Dr. D. Ross Campbell helps both you and your
child deal with this little understood emotion. You'll learn the stages of a child's
life and how anger manifests itself at each juncture. And you'll learn the practical
steps to take when you face it in your home.
- GenresParenting
192 pages, Paperback
Published January 2, 2004
About the author
D. Ross Campbell
15 books69 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.
Dr. Campbell is a former Associate Clinical Professor of Pediatrics and Psychiatry at the University of Tennessee College of Medicine. He has counseled thousands of parents over three decades of practice. Having retired from active counseling, he focuses today on writing and lecturing on parenting topics for an ever-changing cultural world with its challenges for the modern family.
Dr. Campbell's book, How To Really Love Your Teenager won the Gold Medallion Award. Other books include How to Really Love Your Child and Helping Your Twenty-Something Get A Life And Get It Now. Dr. Campbell has also written extensively on dealing with anger in children. In collaboration with Dr. Gary Chapman, he authored the bestselling Five Love Languages of Children.
Dr. Campbell and his wife, Ann, live in Signal Mountain, TN - they have 7 adult children and 15 grandchildren.
Dr. Campbell is a former Associate Clinical Professor of Pediatrics and Psychiatry at the University of Tennessee College of Medicine. He has counseled thousands of parents over three decades of practice. Having retired from active counseling, he focuses today on writing and lecturing on parenting topics for an ever-changing cultural world with its challenges for the modern family.
Dr. Campbell's book, How To Really Love Your Teenager won the Gold Medallion Award. Other books include How to Really Love Your Child and Helping Your Twenty-Something Get A Life And Get It Now. Dr. Campbell has also written extensively on dealing with anger in children. In collaboration with Dr. Gary Chapman, he authored the bestselling Five Love Languages of Children.
Dr. Campbell and his wife, Ann, live in Signal Mountain, TN - they have 7 adult children and 15 grandchildren.
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
July 18, 2024
Dr Campbell’s books have been so helpful to me as a parent. I like that they’re short and easy to read with actual action steps.
Not ideas but THINGS TO DO.
This is my least favorite of his, but it was still really great. How to Really Love Your Children is the best, in my opinion.
This one has a Q&A in the back which i found extremely helpful!
If you have an angry child, this book is a winner. If you can’t find it, then the OG book will still be a big help. It does cover anger in it as well, just not as extensively.
Not ideas but THINGS TO DO.
This is my least favorite of his, but it was still really great. How to Really Love Your Children is the best, in my opinion.
This one has a Q&A in the back which i found extremely helpful!
If you have an angry child, this book is a winner. If you can’t find it, then the OG book will still be a big help. It does cover anger in it as well, just not as extensively.
July 24, 2023
I love the entire “How to really love” series. I walk away feeling like Dr. Campbell is speaking to the parent and not the child (as it should be) and this book is no different. This book focuses on Ephesians 6:4 rather than 6:1-3, which I’m so grateful for: A., I the parent am reading this book, not my child, and B., he gives such good practical advice on how to love the child well.
I especially appreciated his chapter dedicated to children with physical difficulties (ADHD, dyslexia, chronic illness, etc) and how his advice should be tweaked for these scenarios. It’s refreshing when an author doesn’t think his normal advice can be applied exactly to every possible scenario.
I especially appreciated his chapter dedicated to children with physical difficulties (ADHD, dyslexia, chronic illness, etc) and how his advice should be tweaked for these scenarios. It’s refreshing when an author doesn’t think his normal advice can be applied exactly to every possible scenario.
June 30, 2024
A good overview of anger and parenting. Explains what anger is good for ("Anger mobilizes our reserves. It makes our blood pump and fills us with adrenaline" (73), as well as how it goes wrong. Gives lots of good tips and strategies for "dealing with" anger in ourselves and our kids. Fundamental to his approach is "The Anger Ladder"--15 "stages" of dealing with anger arranged from positive to negative. For example:
"Stage 1: Pleasant, seeking resolution, focusing anger on source, holding to primary complaint, thinking logically.
...
Stage 14: unpleasant, loud, cursing, displacing anger to other sources, destroying property, verbal abuse, physical abuse, emotionally destructive behavior."
One way to deal with anger is to identify where on the ladder an incident fell, praise the positives, and then figure out how to do better next time. For example, "you did a good job of focusing on the source of your anger and thinking logically about it--good job! But next time, let's work on not yelling or raising our voice when we talk about it."
Interestingly, Campbell's #15, the worst form of anger, is "passive-aggressive behavior." He sees this as even worse than the behaviors described in stage 14, because it keeps anger locked up inside where it will fester and break out later in life in destructive ways for self and others.
Even if you don't buy into everything Campbell is suggesting, it contains lots of helpful ways of approaching anger and dealing compassionately, patiently, and with understanding with ourselves and our kids.
Good for parents and teachers!
"Stage 1: Pleasant, seeking resolution, focusing anger on source, holding to primary complaint, thinking logically.
...
Stage 14: unpleasant, loud, cursing, displacing anger to other sources, destroying property, verbal abuse, physical abuse, emotionally destructive behavior."
One way to deal with anger is to identify where on the ladder an incident fell, praise the positives, and then figure out how to do better next time. For example, "you did a good job of focusing on the source of your anger and thinking logically about it--good job! But next time, let's work on not yelling or raising our voice when we talk about it."
Interestingly, Campbell's #15, the worst form of anger, is "passive-aggressive behavior." He sees this as even worse than the behaviors described in stage 14, because it keeps anger locked up inside where it will fester and break out later in life in destructive ways for self and others.
Even if you don't buy into everything Campbell is suggesting, it contains lots of helpful ways of approaching anger and dealing compassionately, patiently, and with understanding with ourselves and our kids.
Good for parents and teachers!
June 7, 2022
Finally finished reading the book after a long halt.
It’s a gem to find these days as there’s not a lot of booms out there detailing this topic.
The author shares a lot of great insights and handles on parenting angry kids. His experience from his years as a counsellor added credibility to this book.
I’ve learnt to really let the kids verbalise their anger, and to process it through with them, rather than having to blow my own top at them in return.
Highly recommended read for all parents, regardless on whether you’ve got a kid at home with anger issues.
It’s a gem to find these days as there’s not a lot of booms out there detailing this topic.
The author shares a lot of great insights and handles on parenting angry kids. His experience from his years as a counsellor added credibility to this book.
I’ve learnt to really let the kids verbalise their anger, and to process it through with them, rather than having to blow my own top at them in return.
Highly recommended read for all parents, regardless on whether you’ve got a kid at home with anger issues.
October 29, 2022
This book is phenomenal. Ross Campbell writes books that really make sense to me. They are also not incredibly long and drawn out. It’s quick and to the point which I love. Every single page has important Information. This book will help you better understand not only the emotions in your child but your own, your spouse and the people in the household where you grew up. This book will definitely be revisited often as I found it sooooo freaking helpful in how to be a better parent and you know we could always use a little help.
July 29, 2021
I will be re-reading this book again and again! This is an amazing book and I would recommend every person reads it, parent or not. This book directs you in a methodical way, how to deal with anger in your child (or in a relationship) and how to HELP! This book is a breath of fresh air to a mom of 4 adopted, troubled kids. READ THIS BOOK!
February 18, 2021
Some really good insights!
November 21, 2025
This a relatable, easy read with helpful tips. I think it’s applicable to parents of toddlers through teenagers.
April 2, 2008
This is a book that looks at anger (in your child and you) and how to deal with it.
Overall it was helpful in understanding anger (we all have it) and the different forms it comes in. The book has a step ladder that has the worst form of anger "Passive/aggressive" behavior at the bottom and the best form of dealing with anger "Positive seeking resolution" at the top. The premise is you need to use your child's expressions of anger to teach them how to go up the ladder to deal with their anger appropriatly.
As far as how to deal with the anger, I didn't always agree with the author's metbhods. It seems his discipline was a bit too soft for me. So I would approach that differently.
Overall it's a good book that gives pretty good insight into anger.. I would deffinetly reccommend it.
Overall it was helpful in understanding anger (we all have it) and the different forms it comes in. The book has a step ladder that has the worst form of anger "Passive/aggressive" behavior at the bottom and the best form of dealing with anger "Positive seeking resolution" at the top. The premise is you need to use your child's expressions of anger to teach them how to go up the ladder to deal with their anger appropriatly.
As far as how to deal with the anger, I didn't always agree with the author's metbhods. It seems his discipline was a bit too soft for me. So I would approach that differently.
Overall it's a good book that gives pretty good insight into anger.. I would deffinetly reccommend it.
October 25, 2010
Note: I'm not reading this because I'm worried about my toddler's anger. I read another book by this author and it seems to make sense to read this one as well since all of us have to deal with managing our anger both as parents and as children.
This had some good points but was a bit repetitive. I liked his case studies and the view into his mind when dealing with his own children in anger the best. Though I wish he had given an example of expressing anger "verbally and pleasantly". I'm sure I do that very rarely, if at all.
This had some good points but was a bit repetitive. I liked his case studies and the view into his mind when dealing with his own children in anger the best. Though I wish he had given an example of expressing anger "verbally and pleasantly". I'm sure I do that very rarely, if at all.
July 14, 2018
Wow wow wow wow wow. As my 3 year old would say, this book is “so much good.” There were so many issues in my own life that needed to be changed that I wasn’t even aware of before I started this book. It kills me that it isn’t on Kindle. I want to have my notes and highlights with me wherever I go. Also the cover is so cheesy it’s no wonder it’s not very popular or well known. This book should be revamped because it is DESPERATELY needed in our society.
October 14, 2008
One book I will never give away. I will be re-reading this book often. Caveat: The book would be better served with a more generic title (though I know Ross Campbell was keeping it in line with his bestseller "How To Really Love Your Child"). If there is only one book you have time to read while parenting, this is it.
June 24, 2010
Awesome insight. Every parent must read.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews