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Joy (Or Something Darker, but Like It): poetry & parenting

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Joy (Or Something Darker, but Like It) , the first book of nonfiction by poet Nathaniel Perry, is a group of essays that considers poetry in the context of parenting—what poems and poets might teach us about parenting, what parenting might teach us about poetry, and also, what either of those things might have to teach us about simply being a relatively successful human being. While other poets have written about parenthood, few books consider how parenthood and poetry themselves intersect. The essays are affable and never technical, but take seriously the idea that thinking about poems might help us all think about our other roles in life, as parents, lovers, citizens, and friends. The book, in the end, imagines that this kind of insight is maybe one of the things most useful about poetry. It isn't, or at least doesn't have to be, always about itself; it can instead, surprisingly and wonderfully, be about us.

Each of the twelve essays considers a different poet—Edward Thomas, Henry W. Longfellow, George Scarbrough, Elizabeth Bishop, Geoffrey Hill, Primus St. John, Robert Hayden, Elizabeth Coatsworth, Gwendolyn Brooks, Robert Frost, E.A. Robinson, and Belle Randall—and, alongside them, different concerns of parenting and living. Organized in chronological order, they track the growth of Nathaniel Perry’s own children who pop up from time to time in a believable way. Essays consider the idea of devotion and belief, the idea of imperfection, the small details we can focus on as parents, and the conceptions of the world we pass along to our children. Together these essays not only represent the author's personal canon of poets who have been important to him in his life and work, but also present a diverse slice of American poetry, in voice, form, identity, origin, and time period.

156 pages, Paperback

Published July 9, 2024

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Nathaniel Perry

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Profile Image for Justin Talley.
2 reviews
January 2, 2025
This collection of essays is beautifully written and conversational, and it is a conversation that is more than worth listening to.

Perry takes us on a lofty journey in understanding two crafts, as he puts it in a later chapter, all while staying firmly planted on the ground. Through him, we approach a realistic understanding of how the craft and appreciation of poetry helps inform the craft of parenting.

Though, you should know that I do not yet have any experiences raising a child of my own. Through my experiences teaching children and closely seeing my in-laws parent my nephew, I believe there is a lot to be gleaned from reading Perry’s thoughts: they may reaffirm some of your beliefs, challenge others, and will almost certainly have you looking at poetry with a fresh, fatherly perspective.
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