Things I WIsh I'd Known: Cancer Caregivers Speak Out

by Deborah J. Cornwall

Family caregivers are the unsung heroes of the life-saving drama that's triggered by a cancer diagnosis. Nearly three quarters of American households will find themselves caring for a cancer patient at one point in their lives. This book is the first to capture their thoughts, feelings, and insights on a large scale. It is based on 95 formal interviews with non-professional caregivers (some of whom are cancer survivors themselves), covering 117 patients in 19 states and two Canadian provinces who ranged in age from 2 to 92 and faced 40 different cancer diagnoses. Practical lessons drawn from caregivers' experiences are intermingled with their own words to forge a compelling narrative intended to help both patients and their family caregivers to understand and cope with the full range of issues they should anticipate as they fight the battle of their lives.

266 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 25, 2012

About the author

Deborah J. Cornwall has been associated with the American Cancer Society and its Cancer Action Network as a volunteer leader since 1994, performing a variety of local, regional, and national roles and serving as a media spokesperson before audiences ranging from 16 to 30,000. Her passion to write this book was ignited by her interaction with cancer patients and caregivers at the Society’s AstraZeneca Hope Lodge Center in Boston. Professionally she consults with boards of directors and CEOs on leadership, CEO succession, governance, and change issues as Managing Director of The Corlund Group LLC.

"I had been a volunteer with the American Cancer Society for years before my own cancer diagnosis. My cancer was minimal and easily treated, unlike that of many others whom I've met along the way. Gradually my involvement with the Society migrated from board policy and fund-raising work to community-based work where contacts are very personal.

In my own community and at the Society’s AstraZeneca Hope Lodge, I came in contact with people whose cancer survival and caregiving stories were much more trying than my own. Generous with their stories, they wanted to share the lessons they had learned (often the hard way). I realized I could use my proven interviewing and writing skills to help them do that. These ingredients hatched a dream that made Things I Wish I'd Known a reality."

Reviews

[Donna Thomas]

I've read a lot of books for caregivers over the years. Thankfully, this one has both fresh perspectives and timeless advice. While the focus is walking alongside someone with cancer, many of the concepts could be adapted to other diagnoses. Cornwall weaves in caregiver narratives with pathways to navigate the many obstacles cancer brings to the patient and especially, the caregiver.

[Ellen]

A quick helpful read for someone like me that benefits from self-help books and has a newly diagnosed husband with leukemia. The emphasis on advocacy was helpful as my husband feels embarrassed when I ask too many questions but most of what I ask has been helpful. This book also put into perspective our situation vs young families who have terminal cancer through full time jobs and childcare. Impossible. Being retired and an empty nester makes the logistics more manageable. Focus on hope is another aspect which I need to embrace. Even when the prognosis isn't great focus on the present and the positive energy for the future. Being ready for the worst is also important. I just reread the healthcare proxy document and feel comfortable.

[M]

Therapy for anyone caring for someone with cancer.

[Kathy O’Neal]

So helpful to get other perspectives as I journey through this next step of cancer.

[Cass]

Helpful if you will be a caregiver or support system for a loved one. Had lots of questions to ask, what to expect, and how to support a loved one and their decisions.