Fierce with Age: Chasing God and Squirrels in Brooklyn

by Carol Orsborn

In this important memoir, bestselling author and celebrated thought leader Carol Orsborn captures the conflict and emotions facing the Boomer generation today.In her breakthrough generational memoir, Boomer expert Carol Orsborn relates the ups and downs of a tumultuous year spent facing, busting, and ultimately triumphing over the stereotypes of growing old. Along the way, she nurtures a love-starved friend through a doomed affair with a younger man, wrestles with the meaning of an exploding fish, and regains her passion for life at the side of her squirrel-crazed dog, Lucky.The message is as deep as it is engaging. In Carol’s own words, “Plummet into aging, stare mortality in the eye, surrender everything and what else is there left to fear? The way is perilous, danger on all sides. But we can be part of a generation no longer afraid of age. We are becoming, instead, a generation fierce with age.”Carol Orsborn is the bestselling author of over twenty books and co-author of Boom and Vibrant Nation. An internationally recognized authority on marketing to the Boomer woman, Orsborn serves as Founder and Editor-in-chief of Fierce with Age, the Online Digest of Boomer Wisdom, Inspiration, and Spirituality (FiercewithAge.com). She writes for Huffington Post, PBS’s Next Avenue, and Beliefnet, splitting her time between Los Angeles and Nashville, Tennessee, with her husband, Dan, and her dog, Lucky.“A thought-provoking, brave, and courageous look at aging. Carol Orsborn tackles both the shadow and promise of transitioning beyond midlife, showing us aging as the opportunity to grow whole, rather than just grow old." —Ken and Maddy Dychtwald, bestselling authors, co-founders of Age Wave"I've not read anything as honest and revealing as the tale of Carol Orsborn's personal journey into becoming Fierce with Age. Through searching deeply and having the courage to share the experience, she offers us all insights and validation of who we can become in mid-life and the years beyond." —Connie Goldman, author of Who Am I . . . Now That I'm Not Who I Was"In a youth-centric society, Boomer women have understandably resisted the notion of growing old, but there comes a time in every life when denial of aging cracks. This is a time ripe for a book like Fierce with Age." —Marti Barletta, author of Marketing to Women and PrimeTime Women“In an age where America creates elder ghettos, a brave woman comes out swinging. Her chronicle of a woman’s life after 50 is an inspiration for countless other women (and men) to bust through the stereotypes of aging.“ —Justine Willis Toms, co-founder of New Dimensions Radio and author of Small Finding Grace in a Chaotic World“Through lyrically written pages of her memoir, Fierce with Age, Dr. Carol Orsborn conveys today’s vital challenge for the Baby Boomer to understand and accept aging and all the ramifications. This book is a poignant invitation for Boomers to try on the liberating possibilities of aging, freed from denial and dodging. Through Orsborn’s lucid spiritual lens, coupled with the sophisticated nuances of a Boomer generation marketing expert, readers witness wisdom, wit, and wrath of a well-considered journey. Her memoir shares insightful stories, reflections and advice that can help Boomers discard illusions and illegitimacies of youth obsession, revealing instead the intellectual, emotional, and spiritual paths toward acceptance of the aging process, fiercely.” —Brent Green, author of Marketing to Leading-Edge Baby Boomers and Generation Reinvention “Dr.

244 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 1, 2013

About the author

Carol Orsborn, Ph.D. is Founder of http://www.FierceWithAge.com, the Digest of Boomer Wisdom, Inspiration and Spirituality. Dr. Orsborn is the best-selling author of 25 books including her newest book: The Spirituality of Age: A Seeker's Guide to Growing Older, coauthored with Dr.Robert L. Weber. (Inner Traditions, Oct. 2015.) Website is http://SpiritualityofAge.com.

She is an internationally-known thought leader specializing in issues related to Boomer women, spirituality, adult development and quality of life. She received a doctorate in the History and Critical of Religion and masters of theological study from Vanderbilt University.

Reviews

[Lynne Spreen · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I saw the blog post, "Why You Should Treat Aging As A Mystical Journey"(http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8682/w...), I thought I might have found a kindred spirit in the author, Carol Orsborn. When I read this book, Fierce with Age: Chasing God and Squirrels in Brooklyn, I knew for sure. Carol Orsborn is on to something that I, at age 59, am really hungry for. I want to know how to feel valuable, powerful and at peace in the second half of my life, while still fully functioning in a society that demeans, caricatures, and negates older people.

Carol, who is a good writer, describes a story arc that begins with everything falling apart. She is unwanted and then fired from her job in a world that worships youth. She tries to fight aging by staying in the ring with the younger people, but it gives her no real sense of security. She keeps coming up with ideas for holding back time, only to fail over and over again. Telling of her disappointments, Carol does a good job of layering the blows, one atop the other until we are reeling with her. When everything has been tried, every avenue exhausted, what the hell do we do next? Lie down and die? But we’re old, not dead! How do we navigate this new country?

Nearly immobilized with discouragement, Carol struggles with the questions I’ve wrangled with: So now what, at this age? Who am I without the accouterments of my earlier life? My job, my youth, my expertise in a particular field? If I’m not running the race, do I even have value?

One night, in the middle of a furious electrical storm, she stands on her balcony, screaming and shaking her fist at God, daring Him to kill her now.

And He tells her to get over herself.

From this point, Carol begins to glimpse another, more powerful reality. A gigantic paradigm shift later, the unfurling of which she describes in the second half of the book, Carol is once again back on top, no longer burdened by but rather fierce with age. And we’re fierce right along with her.

Carol is very skillful in using metaphor to describe her journey. Particularly satisfying is her change of heart regarding the story of Moses, wherein she finally understands that God was saying, “It's okay to get old. I love you just as you are. So should you.”

The only problem I had with the book was the spiritual, God aspect. It’s not like Carol misled me. God is in the title. Since I am not a believer, however, some points left me a bit frustrated until I got a brainstorm and began replacing the term "conscious growth" with God, and it worked fine! Here's an example:

Carol: To stop "doing" my personality and leave space for God requires...

Lynne: To stop "doing" my personality and leave space for conscious growth requires...

At some point on our nation's timeline, I believe people our age will stop trying to be young and start seeking and finding the intrinsic value of age. It takes courage, though, because so much of it is beyond our control. Carol makes the point that we have to develop the ability to be at peace with that, and since with maturity comes strength, that should be within our capabilities.

And if we can, our reward is the freedom to become our true selves, unbound by the constraints of society as currently drawn. As Carol says, "The one thing that is up to you is whether you will make getting old a tragedy, or embark upon it as another of life's great adventures."

[katreese · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am only reviewing this book because I won a free advance copy. I hate to write a bad review, because the author seems to mean well, but I found this book to fall somewhere between less-than-mediocre and extremely annoying.

During the first 80 pages - almost half of the book - the author does nothing but complain. She is struggling with the onset of old age. I get it. But she goes on, and on, and on. In addition, she repeatedly references how she used to be "Carol Orsborn", how she has written SO MANY books, and how she has been on t.v. so many times. This seemed odd because, although I don't exactly live under a rock, I have never heard of her.

Finally, there is some introspection...a little bit. Brief discussions of meaningful books are interspersed with the mundane details of moving and discussions of her finances. Near the end of the book, she describes a couple of events which lead to her final "epiphany" (which did not enlighten me): she has a dream wherein everyone she has ever known gathers to laud her with applause, and she almost gets struck by lightning. I am sure she is telling the truth, but really??

Another feature of the book which I found distracting and annoying was the length of the chapters. This seems like an odd thing to complain about, but it really bugged me. Many of the "chapters" were extremely short - a paragraph or two - no more than a couple of pages. When I first began to find this irritating I told myself that they were supposed to correspond to her diary entries, so of course they were brief. But this turned out to be impossible. Time and again I would reach the end of a "chapter" and feel the mental "whomp" of a completed thought or event - only to begin the next chapter to find that the author had ended the chapter in the middle of a conversation or event.

In short, this book would have benefited from some heavy editing.

[Brent Green · Rating 5 out of 5]

Through lyrically written pages of her memoir, Fierce with Age, Dr. Carol Orsborn conveys today’s vital challenge for the Baby Boomer generation: to understand and accept aging and all the ramifications. This book is a poignant invitation for Boomers to “try on” the liberating possibilities of aging, freed from denial and dodging. Through Orsborn’s lucid spiritual lens, coupled with the sophisticated nuances of a Boomer generation marketing expert, readers witness wisdom, wit and wrath of a well-considered journey. Her memoir shares insightful stories, reflections and advice that can help Boomers discard illusions and illegitimacies of youth obsession, revealing instead the intellectual, emotional and spiritual paths toward acceptance of the aging process, fiercely.

[Kimberly Simpson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Love the “The 11 Spiritual
Truths of Aging”! My favorite is # 6.....“The gift of longevity provides ample opportunity to not only grow old, but to grow whole.”

[Kay · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yes to this …

Soul searching … life affirming … thought-provoking … celebrating, embracing, honoring the freedom of the wild spaces … going forth with courage, hope, faith into the here and now

[Anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

In her latest book, a memoir titled “Fierce with Age: Chasing God and Squirrels in Brooklyn,” Carol Orsborn records the ups and downs of a tumultuous year she spent facing, busting and ultimately triumphing over the stereotypes of aging.

The year begins with a cross-country move: Orsborn’s husband Dan lands a year-long project in New York City that is too good to pass up. So they reluctantly leave the comfort of their Los Angeles Canyon home for a Brooklyn apartment near Central Park.

We all know that the transition itself is bound to be a challenge – experts tell us a cross-country moving is high up there on the list of life’s most stressful experiences.

But Orsborn finds the transition to life in New York even more disconcerting than she’d anticipated.

Once settled in their lovely new apartment, she realizes that worse than losing her former home, she’s lost her identity — and even her ability to pray.

As she attempts to settle into life in New York City, she finds herself in what she calls “the wild space beyond midlife.” And the worst part of the transition is that she’s forced to come to terms with growing old.

As she says, it was if, “One moment, I’d been a smart, spiritual woman at the peak of her game. The next moment…I had forgotten everything I’d learned over the course of my life.

“Shockingly out of control, I could not get things to go back the way they were, complete a grieving process, or martial my internal and external resources to greet a life threatening diagnosis. Rather, I had entered no less than a new, prolonged life stage: one that our entire society either denies, reviles, or sentimentalizes in order to trivialize. In short, I had become old.”

As the year unfolds, she begins writing about her daily experiences, and those diary writings form the basis for this book — a tell-all tale of the state of her soul during this year of upheaval.

Traveling along with Carol and her squirrel-crazed dog, Lucky, the reader sees how the loss of her former life forces her to learn a lot about herself, the aging process and how society treats our older citizens.

But lucky for us, Carol Orsborn is not just any Boomer woman. She is both a Boomer generation marketing expert and a veteran journalist and author of 21 books, who today runs Fierce with Age, an online digest of Boomer wisdom, inspiration and spirituality, and blogs regularly for Huffington Post, NPR’s Next Avenue and others. carol orsborn

Which means that her diary writings aren’t just the ramblings of any troubled and displaced “oldster.” They are eminently readable. In fact, the book a “must read” for all of us who hope to live a long and satisfying life.

After all, as much as we Boomers like to tell ourselves things like “sixty is the new forty,” the fact is, our choices now boil down to this: give up and die, or enter into a fresh life stage – specifically, learn to grow old.

Having now “crossed the divide” into that new life stage, Orsborn alerts readers to the fact that our initiation into old age will bring with it the hallmarks of all the previous life stages combined: the high anticipation, the celebration, and the bold, outright terror.

Thankfully, she also reports that “Whether we are aware of it or not, one of the most important things I have learned is that God is with us through it all. Sometimes God whispers, sometimes God shouts, and sometimes God is silent. The key is to recognize that you are in a transition into a new stage of life, and that the one thing that is up to you is whether you will make getting old a tragedy, or embark upon it as another of life’s great adventures. “

Buckle up, Boomers! We’re in for a bumpy ride as we transition into old age. But Orsborn assures us that we need not be ashamed or depleted by this journey. We should instead be both curious, and excited.

[Miriam Downey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Find my full review here: http://mimi-cyberlibrarian.blogspot.c...

Sometimes a book comes along at just the right time. That's the case with Fierce with Age by Dr. Carol Osborn. I have been having a few hard months. First, I turned 70; then I was working way to hard; then a dear friend died quickly and abruptly. Then I read Orsborn's memoir of a hard year she had after she turned sixty, and I found sustenance and the will to move beyond the restlessness that has been plaguing my days and nights. Orsborn is an expert on the "baby boomer" generation and the author of several self-help books.

Orsborn describes a year in her life through entries much like a diary. She is on the "wild side" of sixty when a job change causes the couple to move from Los Angeles to New York. She left behind her work, which was waning anyway, and found herself at loose ends and feeling very old. At first she rages against the concept of "ageism" and loses her spiritual footing. Then slowly, she finds herself becoming spiritually whole again and ready to move on fiercely. She says that she is "surprisingly re-energized about who I am becoming, and fiercely curious about what lies ahead."

But becoming "fierce with age" doesn't come easily to Orsborn, and apparently it is not coming easily to me. We see Orsborn's progress through the year from a bout of self-pity to the moment when she rages against God and comes to the spiritual understanding that while she is not about to give up, she is at a new stage in her life's journey. And like most women, she feels like she is on this journey on her own with very little guidance.

The Publisher's Weekly reviewer suggests that this is not "naval gazing" but a rich description of what most thoughtful women of a certain age experience. Before her year is over, she has developed 11 spiritual truths of aging, some guiding principles that she wishes to convey to others moving past middle age. I particularly like number five which says, "We can dance with rather than struggle against the essence of who we are."

"But I now understood, not just intellectually nor even just emotionally, but in the very depths of my mortal soul, that it was not only my destiny but also everybody else's to die someday. I would not, could not, make peace with aging until I had come to terms with the finitude of existence, including the possibility of suffering and the guarantee of death, none of which were likely to be on my own terms."

Nearly everything Orsborn struggled with resonated with me. Last night my husband and I were discussing her book and we mentioned how people--like servers or store clerks--now view us as old, when, in fact, we forget that we look that way. It is always a shock to be treated with deference to our age.

A year ago, I had the opportunity to work with a major children's publisher on a large project, which lasted for four months. It was a very exciting gig for me and extremely satisfying. At one point I mentioned to the 30-something woman who was running the project that I hoped I was being useful. "Oh." she said. "It is wonderful to have you in the group! You know the backlist so well." meaning that I knew all the old books. A back-handed compliment if I ever heard one.

I was inspired when Orsborn detailed the moments when her focus changed from fighting against the aging process to being inspired by the process. She vividly describes the moment when she realized that "...life is mysterious, awe-some and awe-ful all at once. Can we be wise enough to embrace it all?" That is what I want to do. Embrace the mystery. Live to the fullest with grace and wisdom.

Carol Orsborn's website, aptly called "Fierce with Age." http://fiercewithage.com/
The Publishers Weekly review: http://www.publishersweekly.com/978-1...

[John Robinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received my copy of Fierce with Age by Carol Osborn yesterday. I began reading it last night and finished this morning. The pages turned quickly, partly because Carol's writing is wonderfully easy to read, fun and funny and filled with all those everyday details that bring a story alive, and partly because it is so much my own story, too. We shared the same ambition (addiction?) for meaning, spirituality, contribution, success, fame and fortune, and then fell off the same cliff of aging - with its emptying and deconstruction of identity, the booming silence of "retirement," and the inevitable confrontation with the reality of death that shocks the soul into awareness. Age defeats the ego so soundly, expertly and relentlessly, but what is left when the project of self is gone is something so amazing. I read this book straight through because I really enjoyed the ride and because I wanted to find out how she came to terms with this new yet universal transition. Finishing her work, I felt like we had become friends and that the difference between masculine and feminine ways aging was not so great after all. I am grateful for both and for sharing this story of death and resurrection in life's amazing final arc. Jung said that aging and death were the goal of life and increasingly I understand his words as I experience the fullness of this return to mystery.

If you're wondering how a highly successful and accomplished woman, spiritual writer and corporate consultant experienced the initiation of age, I highly recommend her story. It may illuminate your own story as well.

[Suzy]

BJ 14; #1207