Always Smiling Through the Tears

by Brian Kenny

In October, 2010, Kenny put 2 nooses round his neck in the garden shed. Twice. This is his story, a story of a broken home, mixed race children, racism, adversity and heartbreak. Suicide is all too common in our broken society, and here you see it revealed from the inside, to find what actually drives somebody to the point where the pain of death is seen as preferable to the pain in life. Told in his own words, his own language, the raw emotion comes through so you feel his pain beneath the façade of smiling happiness, Kenny would like this to be a manual for people in pain, giving them help and resources to conquer their problems and live a full and happy life.

322 pages, Paperback

First published November 16, 2012

Reviews

[Autumn]

I really was excited to read this book because for the simple fact of the title. When you have a title like this you think okay this person has been through some things but they still seem to come out on top. Now at times I could relate to Kenny and not being listen to or not wanting to put his problems onto others, because who wants to bring others down with bad news or bad feelings. No one. Overall the story was filled with emotion of hope, love, death, heartache, hurt and so much more. It is a wonder that Kenny still had love for anyone with all the people who broke his heart and let him down. I understood why he wanted to take his life but I found it to be a sign that it didn't work out like he hoped. He was meant to tell his story so others can understand that even though things are not going your way, you have thoughts of committing suicide, you are being hurt by others actions you shouldn't take you life because you are worth so much more. Get rid of those around you that are causing you heartache, easier said than done and I agree with that. I found myself upset with Jess being as she was back and forth with Kenny and he is a good man who kept giving her his all only to have his feelings and heart thrown back at him. The way his mother treated him I honestly did not like it, she didn't seem like the loving mother he needed. But you could see she had problems and I know it must have been hard on Kenny to see his mother go through such a rough time and not be able to do anything. Kenny has a past that breaks your heart on so many levels, he seems like a good guy but it seems that the good guy got nothing but hurt from so many people close to him.

Now the reason I gave this book a 3 wine glass rating is because first of all the grammar mistakes that really should have been caught. There were way to many to just bypass and say that is okay. Second, it really kept throwing me off every time he would stop telling his story to say do you need to call your family? Are you thirsty? It was like whoa wait. Then it would go back into the story. Plus there was a lot of sorry's..... being said within the story. Every time Kenny would stop telling his story to ask if you needed something drink or to catch his emotions because he would cry over being treated horrible he would say sorry. I know that is something that most people say but it was like you should have to say sorry so many times within a page.

Other than those things, it was a good but long story. Filled with a lot of emotion. Even though I gave this book a 3 rating I still say give it a read see if you like it.

[Nick Twist]

Well I am not great at writing reviews... But for this book I will try and do my best. It has to be said this is not an easy read, but this is a book that I would recommend anyone to read and please remember it is OK to smile at the lighter moments. I cannot say how much I admire the courage of Kenny to write this book and in such an interesting style that draws you in from the start. Kenny story is so absorbing it makes you want to keep on reading no matter how difficult the subject matter becomes and how you might just want to start crying. (So hard not to on the train in and out of work) I do feel after reading the book that Kenny is someone I have known all my life and feel part of the pain for all the things he has gone through in his life. Maybe this is because I think that all of us will have experienced elements of the difficulties and tragedies that Kenny has experienced in his life. For most of us only this will be only in a small way and certainly not as often.

Myself I was bullied for quite a few years when growing for just the being a young lad from Ireland moving to the UK in the late 70's and to many of my school `friends' I was somehow responsible for all the terrible things that the IRA and others did in Northern Ireland.
I am fortunate that that it is now in the past and really the bullying just reinforced my pride in being Irish, but I know that bullying has party affected my outlook on life and at times my confidence.

In reading this excellent book I feel so happy that Kenny is in a much better place in his life and fortunate that he has allowed us into his life so we could understand what he has experienced. To show us that there is always a path ahead, that we must grasp life and look to the make the most of it. But importantly to always try and let people know how we feel and not to bottle everything up until it becomes too much to bear!

I have bought a few copies of this book to give to my friends as I feel they will get so much from it. It is a truly inspirational read and I wish Kenny all the best in his new career as a councilor and life coach.

Quite simply this book is a `must read' for everyone living in this manic modern world.

[Lubna Chaudhary]

Kenny has truly bared his soul in this book. I did know him by name as we have a mutual friend but had never spoken to him or really knew anything about him. In all it took me just under 2 days to read the book as I simply found it almost impossible to put down. In that time from reading it I feel I have got to know him. I have found that there are a few parts that I related to in the book and I think that a lot of people will be able to and it may well also inspire people too. Only advice I can give is to keep a box of tissues handy. Although there are parts that will bring tears there are many that bring smiles. The fact that Kenny isn't a writer and that they didn't correct grammar etc I think this has kept his true story very real. I really liked that.

In reading Kenny’s book it has made me realise a few things. Never bottle things up inside. When there is something wrong talk. Keeping it in never solves problems. Even if things aren’t resolved instantly just getting it out there helps immensely. Also listen with open ears and an open heart when anyone comes to me to talk. Unless you really listen you will never know the real truth and that can have disastrous consequences.

[Joe]

Kenny pours his heart and soul into this book and gives his version of the events that have had a big impact on his life (both good and bad). I know that in writing this book it actually helped Kenny to realise a few things and he wants nothing more than for this book to help others who are or have been in a similar situation. This book will surprise, make you laugh and cry.

[Carol]

Really found this so hard to read, so many mistakes and errors. I feel for what he went through and appreciate it takes a lot to write this book, but just not for me.