This Little Whatever

by Nicole Forcine

Jonathan Mendoza used to live an even crazier life, partying with his tight-knit traveling performance troupe whenever he wasn’t on stage belly dancing. When his sick mother begged him to change his lifestyle, he agreed to try to live sober, but that change is hard. Neither is it easy to stop staring at Dean Winters after he nearly knocks the man over before a performance. A former recluse, prone to panic attacks after surviving a traumatic accident, Dean isn’t Jonathan’s usual type. Still, Jonathan is irresistibly attracted to him, and decides to cure the itch with a one-night stand. But that night, he’s shaken by Dean’s kindness and consideration―something he’s not used to in a lover or a friend. His best friend, Rachel, who co-owns the troupe with Jonathan, sees Dean as a threat to their friendship and to the troupe―the dream they’ve worked together to build. She reveals a cruel and possessive streak that could do much greater damage on both fronts, and Jonathan realizes he will have to choose between the nomadic life he’s lived and the man who is stealing his heart.

Genres: M M Romance, Contemporary, Novels

270 pages, Paperback

First published September 5, 2013

About the author

Nicole Forcine was born a strange child and former Georgia peach. When she was younger, she was never far from a composition book, a pen in hand, and way too many people in her head (she’s even been known to talk back to them). When two or more of them talk loud enough to overshadow the rest, a story is born. After years of writing and storing her tales in those books, she had a revelation: man, there are a lot of dudes kissing in these stories.



Her stories include themes of creating families of choice, how love can come in all forms and supersede all boundaries, and the joys and sorrows of earning a happily-ever-after.



Currently, she resides in Minneapolis with one of the most laid-back men in history and his even more laid-back cat. When she’s not writing (ha!), she’s saving the world/galaxy/humanity as we know it in the world of video games and general geekiness and opening other people’s mail for a living.



Contact Nicole by e-mail, littlewhatever@gmail.com, on her blog, http://nicoleforcine.wordpress.com/, on Twitter, @NikiForcine, or on Goodreads, http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/....

Reviews

[SheReadsALot]

You had me at male belly dancer...

Please be erotic

*crosses fingers*

[Lily]

To be honest, I was not sure what rating to give this book. I do appreciate how some of the issues and characters made me pause and think, yet overall I could not like it in the conventional sense of the word.

That being said, I admired Dean and his quiet but very dependable strength. From a young age, he went through a lot of difficult situations and even trauma; still, he fought hard to find a solution, move on and live life to the best of his abilities. To me, he was the highlight and best feature of the story, which brings me to Jonathan. My thoughts on him are probably spoiler-ish and plot connected, so I'll place everything under the tag.

I had great difficulty in understanding Jonathan and the reasons behind his choices/attitude. From the beginning, he appears to be going through life under a haze, sometimes metaphorical and other times induced by some substance abuse. He makes a physical connection to Dean, who comes across as his complete opposite, yet in fact both are quite troubled individuals. At his ill mother's insistence, Jon tries to change to a more healthy lifestyle, which is extremely difficult since his group/'family' - ruled with an iron hand by best friend Rachel - exerts constant pressure or she simply dictates what he is supposed to do and how to act.

Needless to say, he conforms and almost blindingly obeys her: no questions, no discussion, no consultation (only a couple of rebellious thoughts), which I found nonsensical. I use this word because they were not engaged in any consensual D/s relationship and they were supposed to have an equal voice. Their nomad group was co-founded by Jon and Rachel, but somehow she became the dictator and Jon simply drifted along to her whims and wishes. As the story unfolds, the reader finds out that Jon is aware of his problems and potential addiction, he knows that Rachel's expectations are harmful to him, but he is ultimately unable to break free from her...

Oddly enough, Jon had a nice childhood with a loving and supportive mother, who still cared and tried her best to help him even as an adult. That is why I don't understand why he clings so desperately to Rachel and the group, even though he doesn't particularly want that lifestyle and Rachel obviously cares only about what she wants. It was probably easier to not protest, although his passive attitude contributed to Rachel's sociopath tendencies.

The one truly reprehensible thing about Jon is how he let her take advantage of a 19-year old young gay man (Patch), whom Rachel raped in the end - as if his misfortunes had not been enough. Patch is initially portrayed through Jon's eyes as someone looking for sex and a good time, though I think that was Jon deluding himself and trying to justify what was happening. The reader later finds out - via Jon's POV - that Patch was homeless and desperate to have somewhere to stay. Rachel took him in so that Patch could be Jon's 'human dildo' and have sex with him as often as possible. This was one of the multiple tactics Rachel used to keep Jon compliant to her demands. And Jon was fully aware of why Rachel accepted Patch in their group and again did not say anything, taking full advantage of Patch's 'service'.

All these aspects made me seriously question Jon's integrity as a person and detracted from my enjoyment of the book. As for the romance, Dean was trying hard to build a relationship with Jon, who liked him yet often hurt Dean and eventually left him to follow Rachel's ultimatum. Even after Jon found out all the horrible things she had done, he had no intention to return to Dean. It was Dean who reached out and brought him back, with hardly any apology or regrets from Jon. You could argue that he is again simply drifting along with Dean's wishes, although this time he managed to find someone who actually loves him and will take care of him.

This review turned out much longer than anticipated and, despite my rating, it shows that I engaged with the content to a large extent. As a matter of personal preference/opinion, this story had a lot of potential and intriguing characters. But many of the chosen plot directions and a character's attitude in particular were difficult for me to accept or like.

Edit: After a good night's sleep, I rated this with 3 stars for the following reasons. As a first published novel, the author opted for a creative and more controversial initiative and not a safe formula which had high chances of pleasing a wide majority of audience; I appreciate that bravery. The writing was also quite gripping and vivid, Jon's character consistently portrayed until the end, the dysfunctional situations well conveyed. There is a good foundation here for a sequel in which all the characters grow and heal emotionally. And, hopefully, Dean and Jon's romantic relationship consolidates and becomes more balanced.

[Lisa Arbitrary - AttentionIsArbitrary M/M Blog]

~~~

3.5 stars bumped to 4 stars because I want Patch’s story.

In an effort to be very honest and full-disclosure and all of that, Nicole is a friend (we video blog about m/m books together), BUT, BUT, BUT her writing is just delightful. I absolutely enjoy myself, the characters and the story while I’m reading her work.

Within the first few pages I was pretty struck by the in-your-face grit and I could see there wasn’t going to be any holding back. Get ready for a whirlwind ride of sex, drug use and manipulations that feel very true to life. Even if it’s a lifestyle you aren’t familiar with.

Oh, and by the way, I’m putting in my order for Patch’s story right now!

THE CHARACTERS

Yeah, a guy that shakes his ass on stage once a week or more while wearing enough flash to make a cameraman jealous having a low opinion of himself? Who’d’a thunk it? I wasn’t in the mood to talk about it now. It made me feel too raw to drop the bravado.

Jonathan - Rainbow-colored sexual oddball OR manipulated best friend? His dancing grounds him, his family is his tribe and his vices are always knocking at his door.

…this paradox of a man, physically strong, emotionally tender, mentally fragile. I was supposed to be giving him a better memory of the night, not wallowing in my own stupid issues.

Dean - Gorgeous, reclusive, and entirely more layered than I expected. But, how can Dean’s social anxiety match with Jonathan’s flamboyance?

Side characters include Rachel – the bitch worthy of the energy you will expend getting worked up about her. Patch – the sweet, twinky, fireball that just really needs some real, true, love.

THE STORY

On the surface this is a light-hearted, easy going story of a hippie/gypsy dance troupe who floats from town to town avoiding responsibility and making sure nothing brings the tribe down. The deeper you go though, there is a lot going on here. Every character, for good or bad, has issues and traumas to deal with.

The unlikely (and I think this is Ms. Forcine’s forte) developing relationship between Jon and Dean is just quirky and charming enough to melt your heart while the freaky, hot sex is steamy in all the right places. Then there’s this wash of tender, adoring care that works it’s way to the surface and just doesn’t let go. By the end of the book I was absolutely needy for Jon and Dean to work it out.

There were a couple areas that seemed to foreshadow and give away a little too much, but then there were other moments that I was struck dumb for not seeing what was coming. Rachel is an absolute horrible monster, this is no secret, but the depth of her deceptions continue to assault me.

Take note: There is a rape element to this story, but it is dealt with in a way that makes it clear how horrible the action is and goes on to deal with the trauma.

THE WRITING

Read Nicole Forcine for her honest-to-goodness unique characters. It’s not like she’s inventing a new species, but rather exploring with writing about characters that aren’t typically developed. In this book we have Jonathan, a male belly-dancer. In her LHNB story, Smoky Glimpses, she wrote about a male fortune-teller. Her characters are vivid, and lively and tend toward living on the fringes of society. Much more interesting for their mystery.

She also has the most interesting mix of fun and serious styles, all mixed together. She is able to delve into some pretty heavy content without bogging the story down. Her writing is readable and real. It’s emotional with both humor and heartbreak.

~ ~ ~

I would like to thank Dreamspinner Press and Nicole Forcine for providing me with an ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.

~ ~ ~

Take a look at my Male/Male Romance Book Blog:


http://www.attentionisarbitrary.blogspot.com

[Serena Yates]

A story about a male belly dancer has to be fun, right? Especially one who is trying to get his life back in order. But what a life it is! A best friend I wouldn't want as an enemy - yet he keeps trying to be nice to her. She then rapes a friend of his, only to downplay the whole thing - as if it weren't serious. I could go on, but there is little point; there were too many characters and situations that just rubbed me the wrong way.

Overall, unfortunately, this is one of those books I could just not get into, hence my rating of "okay" or 2 stars. You may like this if you're looking for an out-of-control guy who struggles when defining who his friends are and how to become mentally and emotionally independent of a group he has clearly outgrown.

[★ ☆ Booksaholic ★ ☆]

Okay, so this book starts out all right even though Jon is stupid about Rachel you can tell right from the start she is an evil bitch. And this book I don't want to say it condoned rape, but It made it seem like it wasn't a big deal cuz the person being raped(cuz that's what it was!) was a male. I could have dealt with stupid Jon and bitch Rachel but then that happened and this book went from 3 stars to none.

[Sunne]

I’m very conflicted about that book. I don’t know how to rate it. Maybe writing a few thoughts down will help:

Rachel is a bitch, cruel, egoistic, mental, possessive, …okay, I could make this list much longer. I’m not sure I’ve ever loathed a female character this much. Not good for the book.

Dean is a saint, hot, loving, generous, conflicted, sexy, sexy, and did I mention sexy, brave, experienced, shiny and so much more than you expect at first.

Jonathan is….a bit dumb, still dumb, blind, in the beginning spineless, too loyal to Rachel and more naïve than a guy in his situation should be. His luck is that during the book he finally grows up.

Patch is older and wiser than he seems to be. An enigma between innocence and knowledge. Actually, I would have loved Patch and Dean together ;)

Now – kudos to the author for trying to stay off the well-trotten paths of m/m with exchangeable MCs. Also for the courage to start the book with a MC who uses drugs. And a lot of it actually worked for me….I mean, whenever they were away from the tribe. It could have easily been a 4 star book for me, just for Dean and Patch and later Jonathan.

But – sorry – Rachel didn’t only try to destroy any friendship Jonathan wanted to have with Dean but she also destroyed most of my reading fun. It nearly became a DNF. She had too much presence for me, too much maniac possessiveness and controlling. I shudder to think of the poor….ups, I nearly posted a spoiler (yes, another loose thread that left me feeling very, very uncomfortable).

Sure, Rachel being the bitch was necessary because it actually is the main conflict but for me it was too much, too obvious – I still don’t get why Jonathan didn’t see it earlier – and too cruel.

So parts of the book are 4 stars for me but others 1 star. Since the good parts seemed to be more than the bad parts I’ll give 3 stars in the end – for Dean, Patch and the courage of the author.

[SunnyG]

4.25 Rachel is "evil."

[Pete W]

3.5 stars round up. I couldn't relate much to the Jonathan, didn't quite understand his choices and decisions. But here is my review anyway.

The writing was fine, decent enough as a first published book. But I am not fond of the style, the rambling internal dialogues that seems to go on forever, sometimes between dialogues where another person is waiting for response. That didn't quite work for me.

Now the story itself... I couldn't really relate to the why of Jonathan's behavior. I am not familiar with the hippie, street performers, troupe, to understand why the party, the drugs, the alcohol, was necessary. They all live in a cheap hovel so they can be loud, smelly, etc. with impunity. Basically, they blown the majority of their funds on indulgence rather than necessities. It was a wonder the troupe survived for ten years by the time the book start. It seems that they give little thoughts about their future beyond a few months. I supposed it was the norm of the bohemian/hippie life style but I just don't understand it...

The main antagonist, Rachel.... It was difficult to keep reading when she was kept being use as the bad guy for the rather clueless, not to mention spineless Jonathan. She held the time she helped Jonathan out of tight spot over his head like a guillotine. Yet he never invoked the time he helped her getting out of her shell and teach her all the stuffs they were doing now. That she had committed various and multiple horrible acts through out the book. Yet Jonathan never called her out for it. Choosing instead to avoid the issue by escaped to Dean's place and left his troupe to suffer under the dramas he said he strife to avoid.

Next is Jonathan's mom, from the impressions through out the book. They were supposedly close but she was a busy single mom who had raised an self-sufficient independent child. Yet he was also substances abusing, hard partying, intent and perhaps content on basically asking her to bury him instead of vice versa. She seems to never called Jonathan out on this, until she was having health problem of her own, while she was Peru no less. I just don't understand how Jonathan justified his hard partying behaviors and why his mother didn't put her foot down before.

I liked the opening, with mom's voicemail, but the tension was cut instead of being built on when it was suddenly jumped to present time with little to no indication of what had happened in between.

There is also a big loose end by the time the book end. Thinking about it made me worried... Rachael was so ill-fitted to handle that kind of responsibilities. There was no mentioned of how Jonathan, Dean, and Patch would try to deal with that. Since all the pages left were used on Patch's melt down and recovery.

I vaguely recalled that Ms. Forcine mentioned that she was working on the sequel to this book. I hope the loose end would be resolved in a satisfying conclusion.

All in all, it was a somewhat fascinating read into the culture I am not familiar with. I don't understand Jonathan much through out the book. I don't understand his motives, his rationales, or his seemingly off-kilter world view. But I commended the author for giving life to this book. She managed to add volume and weight to the story and made this edutainment instead of made it a simple romance novel.

[Al]

This is a fantastic little story of a man recovering from poor self-esteem. He's in one of those situations where, somehow, you realize one day that wtf? has happened and you're not sure what to do with it. I believe the author did an absolutely wonderful job taking Jon through the realization that his best friend really wasn't what he'd thought. As a reader, I saw the warning signs and I wanted to take the MC and shake some sense into him and it would've been easy for the author to give us a chapter-long inner-dialogue about Jon's revelation, but the author made him walk that path of discovery one agonizing step at a time.

Sure, there's heavy drug use and omfg whatever, but we start off the story with Jon's foray into recovery -- he's already seeing a shrink for his sex/alcohol/self-esteem issues -- he already has a reason for doing so (his mother) -- he already has doubts about his life and the way he's living it -- he already had a first boyfriend -- he's ready for something more.

The novel is about the part of Jon's life where the people around him (his dance troop and best friend) are starting to see the changes Jon is making, from his decision to drink and party less, to his quest for someone to love. Like most normal people, Rachel doesn't take like change. From pretty much the moment she and Jon met, she's been the one calling the shots and, as you might expect, she doesn't like one bit that Jon is no longer following her blindly. Unfortunately for her, over the years her bossiness has turned into obsessive control and by the time the story takes place, she's unable to see Jon's growth as anything but a threat and she'll do whatever it takes to keep him under her thumb.

It's to the author's credit that Jon doesn't just drop everything the moment he meets Dean. The friendship he feels for Rachel is so strong, he doesn't want to believe the evidence and it takes a really jarring conversation with Rachel for him to finally let go and believe that she has changed.

The side-story with Patch is horrible, but in no way are any of the characters okay with it. Not even Rachel, who runs away and most likely continues that downward spiral. I thought that the last conversation between Rachel and Jon was very moving. It made me want to cheer and cry at the same time.

The only critiques I have are the scene with Dean at the party is not very clear -- just what happened to him? -- and that Dean is some kind of reclusive millionaire. I liked that he had his issues and I loved how well they were weaved into the story, but the cinderella story is just so cliche of the m/m genre, it was a little disappointing when compared to the wonderful writing, supporting characters, and overall plot.

As a whole, I absolutely enjoyed it. As someone familiar with the artsy folk life-style, I found the characters and situations believeable. The writing flowed well, there were no jarring moments where the characters suddenly knew something they didn't have reason to know, and the slow realization from Jon that Dean loved him was too beautiful for me to describe.

[J. Vaughn]

4.5*

I enjoyed this story immensely. It engaged me right off and kept me turning pages until the end. Nicole took me into a very realistic world of belly dancing, busking, drugs, and people who live on the edge. I related to both the MCs and was rooting for the success of their romance throughout the story. The main supporting cast was well-developed as well.

I must say I disagree with Booksaholic who thought that the book made male rape (by a female) seem like not a big deal. It was made clear that it was a huge deal, and the young victim was actually more traumatized than I would have expected given everything we had been told about that character. I think the point the author was trying to make is that society doesn't see it as a big deal, but it actually can be.

I would have loved to have had a scene or two from Rachel's point of view. She seems truly evil and I want to understand her motivations a bit better. Jonathan definitely forgave her atrocious behavior way too easily throughout the novel, in my mind.

I appreciated the well-crafted writing and especially the sex scenes, some of which were scorching. I definitely look forward to reading more of Nicole's work.

[Julio Genao]

*eyebrows up*

When the faghag is described in the blurb as cruel and possessive, a measure of wariness is in order.

Still... Theater people! Gotta love 'em!*
















*not really.

[Julie]

3.25

[Becky Condit]

Please leave comments on Pattycake's 4 1/2 sweet pea review at http://mrsconditreadsbooks.com/index....

” I grabbed a washcloth, not caring who it actually belonged to, wet it in the sink, and quickly wiped under the kilt so I wouldn’t have “itching like a son of a bitch post coitus” to add to add to the reasons why I couldn’t fall asleep.”

Jonathan Mendoza has spent the last ten years living a nomadic and wild lifestyle. Traveling with Crimson Dream-the performance troupe he co-owns with his best friend Rachel-when he’s not on stage belly dancing, he’s doing the “party hardy”-pot, booze, pills, and anything else you can think of. After he gets a call from his sick mother begging him to change his crazy lifestyle, he tries to stay sober but it’s harder than he thought it would be. When he falls into the lap of Dean Winters- a man struggling to overcome crippling panic attacks after a traumatic accident-Jonathan finds himself attracted to him, even though Dean is not his usual type. A one-night stand turns into so much more, if it can survive the cruel manipulations of his best friend Rachel, the lure of his old life, and his own self-doubts.

In This Little Whatever, Nicole Forcine has written a character driven story that gives an upclose and personal look into the crazy and chaotic world of a traveling troupe. She does a fantastic job of giving us colorful and vivid characters whose free-wheeling lifestyle consists of booze, drugs, and casual sex. The plot flow is smooth, and the backstory a great job of filling in any gaps in the storyline. The sex is definitely hot, and the the loving is easy. The author’s writing style is crisp, humorous, and highly original. I really like how she weaves such a vivid and very richly detailed tale that pulled me in from the very beginning. The story has a HEA ending for the MCs, but some of the secondary characters have a bittersweet one. I really enjoyed reading this quirky tale, and if you want a story that will take you on a uniquely original journey, then this is the book for you.

[Lisa Lambson]

Although I wouldn't say this was the type of book that I would normally read, the story had me interested enough to stick with it, and I am so glad I did.

Jonathon is completely loyal to his theater troupe and his dancing. They are like his family, but when he discovers that his real mother is seriously ill, at her prompting he tries to cut back on all the drugs and alcohol he consumes daily. Cutting back is not going very well, until he meets Dean Winters and sparks fly.

Rachel, the co-owner of the troupe is not thrilled with Jonathon seeing Dean and she makes it very clear how she feels to both of them and everyone else who will listen between drinks and bong hits. Although she knows Jonathon is gay and does not want a relationship with him, because he is her best friend, she sees him as something she controls. Jonathan's relationship with Dean outside of the troupe house causes Rachel and the rest of the troupe to begin falling apart.

Meanwhile, Jonathon beings to fall in love with Dean, and Rachel makes things more difficult with the rest of the troupe including Jonathon's ex, Patch. Patch is barely more than a kid. When Rachel finally loses it, it is Patch who pays the price. Jonathon continues to try and keep things together with the troupe, save his friendship with Rachel, keep an eye out for Patch, and have a relationship, something he is pretty new at.

This storyline kept me involved through the whole thing. It was nice to see the troupe members and Dean sticking together when Rachel went too far and continuing to help Patch. This was a nice change of pace for me plus some seriously steamy love scenes didn't hurt either. I will be watching to see what new things will be coming from this author.

[Anna]

This book had me hooked pretty fast and then it didn't let go. I wanted to shake Jon, strangle Rachel, hug Patch and give Dean support. As soon as I had finished the book I went onlie to see if maybe, hopefully, there would be a book telling Patch's story but NO not yet at least.

Jon seamed so damn fragile trying to take care of everyone and not let anyone down while believing that he wasn't more than a great one-night stand, that he didn't deserve to be happy, that drugs and drinks and a life on the road were his only options. For me this was a really emotional story and I want to read about Patch.

[Scarlett]

This was a more intense read than I expected, but this is not to it's detriment at all. I empathised so much with Jonathon who felt stuck between a rock and a hard place AKA Rachel. She was 'uber-baddy' in this, but it's cathartic to have an easy-to-hate character now and again - and boy, was she easy to dislike! Dean was awesome and steadfast and showed Jonathon that 'normal' does not have to equal 'boring'. It was also a nice surprise to see something that is traditionally feminine (belly dancing) taken and molded into something just as beautiful, but undeniably masculine. Jonathon owned it!

[Sara]

kindle version.
Found the situations and inner dialogues to be very real, which made the characters more real to me. Initially, I took a look at the book because of the cuteness of the cover. And I have a pal that is a male belly dancer and was interested to read a story that involved one. But the story itself has much more depth than the cute cover would suggest.
Some rough topics covered here: addiction, rough pasts, sexual assault. It's not an easy story, but was a rewarding one for me.

[Paws]

This book has such fantastic characters and a unique story line! I'll be thinking about this one for days to come.

[jules0623]

3.5 stars.

[Heidi Belleau]

utterly charmed by the author at grl, so obviously had to buy her book

[Zane Kage]

3.5 stars