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The Book That THEY Do Not Want You To Read
The life of Jethro Postlethwaite, as his recently-started diary will testify, has suddenly become very, very complicated...and very, very painful. Having been kidnapped, locked in a dark cell and subjected to the unwelcome (and agonising) attentions of a Bodaslod Duelling Gauntlet, he is now a fugitive, on the run from THEM, sharing his head with someone else's memories and not looking forward at all to the prospect of having nanities injected into his eyes.
It seems like giving a lift to an alien was not such a good idea after all.
On the plus side though, he's about to uncover the truth about the lives of every man, woman and child on the planet...at Peterhead...and he will get to do this whilst travelling in a nice camper van.
It seems like giving a lift to an alien was not such a good idea after all.
On the plus side though, he's about to uncover the truth about the lives of every man, woman and child on the planet...at Peterhead...and he will get to do this whilst travelling in a nice camper van.
226 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 11, 2013
5 people want to read
About the author
Andy Ritchie
5 books13 followersAndy Ritchie (who writes under his Sunday name of Andrew) lives a relatively unremarkable life with his long-suffering wife, Wendy, his two inordinately expensive-to-keep daughters, Kayleigh and Emily, and the ghost of their recently deceased three-legged cat, Burt.
They live in a well-appointed detached house on the outskirts of the occasionally exciting former cotton-mill town of Darwen in Lancashire, which remarkably was never actually mentioned in the Domesday Book.
Andy is fifty years old but remains (in his own eyes at least) fairly ‘hip’ and ‘cool’ on the basis that he owns an iPod, can use Facebook, has completed Halo, and knows who George Ezra is.
In addition to becoming a published author, published poet and published photographer, he also has an ambition to experience a mid-life crisis before he is fifty-two, if only because most of his friends appear to have had one and he feels a little left out when they are being discussed at parties.
Andy's first books, The Book That THEY Do Not Want You To Read, Parts 1-3), were published as e-books in 2013 and were positively received, with many reviewers likening his work to that of the late, great Douglas Adams. A subsequent book of short stories, entitled God, Aliens, Death & Teapots, was also published as an e-book and was spectacularly unsuccessful. Unperturbed, Andy has recently published his latest work, Red Plus Zone, both as an e-book and, excitingly, in paperback. It's a long way from his first foray into print, a very small article published in Trail Magazine about how he once climbed to the top of a mountain called Merrick.
As well as writing, Andy enjoys photography, films, hill-walking and reading. When he's not writing or climbing hills, Andy can be found leafing through the novels by some of his favourite authors, including Terry Pratchett and Ben Elton. He is currently working through the Gollancz SF Masterworks series.
Andy has never been accused of taking himself too seriously.
They live in a well-appointed detached house on the outskirts of the occasionally exciting former cotton-mill town of Darwen in Lancashire, which remarkably was never actually mentioned in the Domesday Book.
Andy is fifty years old but remains (in his own eyes at least) fairly ‘hip’ and ‘cool’ on the basis that he owns an iPod, can use Facebook, has completed Halo, and knows who George Ezra is.
In addition to becoming a published author, published poet and published photographer, he also has an ambition to experience a mid-life crisis before he is fifty-two, if only because most of his friends appear to have had one and he feels a little left out when they are being discussed at parties.
Andy's first books, The Book That THEY Do Not Want You To Read, Parts 1-3), were published as e-books in 2013 and were positively received, with many reviewers likening his work to that of the late, great Douglas Adams. A subsequent book of short stories, entitled God, Aliens, Death & Teapots, was also published as an e-book and was spectacularly unsuccessful. Unperturbed, Andy has recently published his latest work, Red Plus Zone, both as an e-book and, excitingly, in paperback. It's a long way from his first foray into print, a very small article published in Trail Magazine about how he once climbed to the top of a mountain called Merrick.
As well as writing, Andy enjoys photography, films, hill-walking and reading. When he's not writing or climbing hills, Andy can be found leafing through the novels by some of his favourite authors, including Terry Pratchett and Ben Elton. He is currently working through the Gollancz SF Masterworks series.
Andy has never been accused of taking himself too seriously.
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
October 1, 2014
Can I give it 6 stars?
This book was non-stop awesome. You definitely must read Part 1 first or you'll be lost.
This go round, Jethro uses a voice recorder and a notebook and the more detailed account lends itself to more thorough storytelling even in the diary format, so I found myself more immersed in the action - which I loved.
There were some genuinely funny parts that made me truly laugh. Some parts made me cringe and nearly cry. Diary entry 42 is rough. I was holding my newborn when I read it... just read the book and you'll know why that was rough. Also, apparently a "fanny" in the UK is not the same as in the US. I was confused for a few seconds until I realized that. Lol.
I think it ends at a good point since the action has died down a smidge but there are still enough unanswered questions to make you rush out and buy book 3, which I will be doing tomorrow.
This plot is amazingly original. I dig alien movies, TV, books, and all but have never seen a plot quite like this one. It's delightfully refreshing. It's not too technical and gives just enough of the science to let the reader connect with the ideas presented. We get a closer look at Tukaal in this part and he's a fascinating specimen.
I read this book in a day. It was that good. Go get your copy now! It really is a great read.
This book was non-stop awesome. You definitely must read Part 1 first or you'll be lost.
This go round, Jethro uses a voice recorder and a notebook and the more detailed account lends itself to more thorough storytelling even in the diary format, so I found myself more immersed in the action - which I loved.
There were some genuinely funny parts that made me truly laugh. Some parts made me cringe and nearly cry. Diary entry 42 is rough. I was holding my newborn when I read it... just read the book and you'll know why that was rough. Also, apparently a "fanny" in the UK is not the same as in the US. I was confused for a few seconds until I realized that. Lol.
I think it ends at a good point since the action has died down a smidge but there are still enough unanswered questions to make you rush out and buy book 3, which I will be doing tomorrow.
This plot is amazingly original. I dig alien movies, TV, books, and all but have never seen a plot quite like this one. It's delightfully refreshing. It's not too technical and gives just enough of the science to let the reader connect with the ideas presented. We get a closer look at Tukaal in this part and he's a fascinating specimen.
I read this book in a day. It was that good. Go get your copy now! It really is a great read.
April 17, 2014
The continuation of the adventure of Jethro Postlewhaite and Tukaal.
As I said in my previous review, the first book was fantastic and gave no indication to how far in the sotry you were, it finished with a lot of unanswered questions. Thos questions were addressed in this book, but in no way answered Andy (the author) has created a 'drip-feed' style of writing only giving you enough to keep you reading.
It is fantastic, I also feel that the style that these books are composed in (Collated Diary) really lends itself to this writing style
As I said in my previous review, the first book was fantastic and gave no indication to how far in the sotry you were, it finished with a lot of unanswered questions. Thos questions were addressed in this book, but in no way answered Andy (the author) has created a 'drip-feed' style of writing only giving you enough to keep you reading.
It is fantastic, I also feel that the style that these books are composed in (Collated Diary) really lends itself to this writing style
July 23, 2021
My Thoughts: I received a free copy of TBTTDNWYTR Part 2 for an honest review. As I said in my review for Part 1, Andrew Ritchie in my Uncle but that doesn’t change how I review is work. Really, I feel like I am more critical when it comes to my family and their work!
I’m writing this review rather early in the morning, well its just before 7am and I wake up around this time every morning. I’m usually fine but this morning I am so very tired. Why, you ask? Because I stayed up till midnight finishing this book, that’s why. I seriously could NOT put it down. It looks like my Uncle has done the near impossible and made a sequel which is just as good as the first.
Part 2 starts of pretty much where Part 1 left off. It continues with the same diary(ish) format written by JP and collated by the author. It continues being a believable sci-fi x thriller x british comedy book. We need to come up with a portmanteau for this mix of genres but I’m not that clever so I’ll leave this up to you readers.
It continued to make me laugh out loud which not many books or comedy shows do for that matter; I’m very much a laugh within kind of girl.
What you read in the blurb is correct. JP does have injections in his eyes and oh my goodness, I will tell you now, the paragraph is relatively short, but I had to have 2 breaks from reading it so I wouldn’t vomit all over my phone. I don’t do well with eyes, and reading in such detail about needles going in to eyes makes me feel all funny inside. Even writing about it is making me feel all funny inside. How an author can do that to you with words alone and no visuals is somewhat of a talent! It’s not just the eye injection scene, there’s some brilliantly descriptive but TMI bits in this book. Lets just say, I wasn’t a fan of sausage and egg sandwiches before but thanks to this book, I’ll now probably not even be able to look at one.
The development of our pal Jethro who I previously described as a very real, very mundane character who a lot of people can probably relate to (no offence) continues to develop in this book and reading his thoughts he pens down on paper really does help the reader see that. I feel really sorry for him but I love his attitude towards Tukaal (the alien) when sometimes he decides he does want answers and he does want Tukaal to know how he is feeling whether it hurts the aliens feelings or not. As for Tukaal, in this book he is particularly hilarious, especially when it comes down to trying out some of the wonderful foods/drinks we have on this earth – chocolate, McDonalds, Whiskey. Though there is development in Tukaal’s character and you learn more about him as an alien and not as a human, I have a feeling in the pit of my stomach that he might not actually be as good as a guy as I think he is. I really do hope I’m wrong because I think I am getting to emotionally involved. Again, I blame the author for this.
The story is once again realistic, hilarious, thrilling and interesting but most importantly, it isn’t over – the final part is waiting for me. The bombshell ending of part two means for my sanity I HAVE to read part three and find out what happens to JP, to Tukaal, to earth. I’ve got an hour before I need to start getting ready for work (I’ll probably be late if I start reading Part 3).
I’m writing this review rather early in the morning, well its just before 7am and I wake up around this time every morning. I’m usually fine but this morning I am so very tired. Why, you ask? Because I stayed up till midnight finishing this book, that’s why. I seriously could NOT put it down. It looks like my Uncle has done the near impossible and made a sequel which is just as good as the first.
Part 2 starts of pretty much where Part 1 left off. It continues with the same diary(ish) format written by JP and collated by the author. It continues being a believable sci-fi x thriller x british comedy book. We need to come up with a portmanteau for this mix of genres but I’m not that clever so I’ll leave this up to you readers.
It continued to make me laugh out loud which not many books or comedy shows do for that matter; I’m very much a laugh within kind of girl.
What you read in the blurb is correct. JP does have injections in his eyes and oh my goodness, I will tell you now, the paragraph is relatively short, but I had to have 2 breaks from reading it so I wouldn’t vomit all over my phone. I don’t do well with eyes, and reading in such detail about needles going in to eyes makes me feel all funny inside. Even writing about it is making me feel all funny inside. How an author can do that to you with words alone and no visuals is somewhat of a talent! It’s not just the eye injection scene, there’s some brilliantly descriptive but TMI bits in this book. Lets just say, I wasn’t a fan of sausage and egg sandwiches before but thanks to this book, I’ll now probably not even be able to look at one.
The development of our pal Jethro who I previously described as a very real, very mundane character who a lot of people can probably relate to (no offence) continues to develop in this book and reading his thoughts he pens down on paper really does help the reader see that. I feel really sorry for him but I love his attitude towards Tukaal (the alien) when sometimes he decides he does want answers and he does want Tukaal to know how he is feeling whether it hurts the aliens feelings or not. As for Tukaal, in this book he is particularly hilarious, especially when it comes down to trying out some of the wonderful foods/drinks we have on this earth – chocolate, McDonalds, Whiskey. Though there is development in Tukaal’s character and you learn more about him as an alien and not as a human, I have a feeling in the pit of my stomach that he might not actually be as good as a guy as I think he is. I really do hope I’m wrong because I think I am getting to emotionally involved. Again, I blame the author for this.
The story is once again realistic, hilarious, thrilling and interesting but most importantly, it isn’t over – the final part is waiting for me. The bombshell ending of part two means for my sanity I HAVE to read part three and find out what happens to JP, to Tukaal, to earth. I’ve got an hour before I need to start getting ready for work (I’ll probably be late if I start reading Part 3).
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews