What do you think?
How Was I Supposed to Know?: The Adventures of a Girl Whose Name Means Lost, a Memoir
Have you ever…
1. felt as if you never really got over your childhood?
2. looked at your life choices and asked, “What was I thinking?”
3. wondered if you would have made the same choices if you then what you know now?
4. had trouble establishing and maintaining healthy relationships, either with yourself or with other people? Probably both?
5. been told that you are “too sensitive,” “the problem,” or “an alcoholic?”
6. been curious about how people who aren’t fictional face their fears?
7. wished you fretted less and laughed more when life throws you a curve ball?
Well, then, this book is for you!
Lorna is like everyone you’ve ever known. She is also like no one you’ll ever meet again. She’s just an ordinary person trying to make the best of the predicament du jour. What makes her different? The answers are revealed in this, her first, book. Here’s a hint: Lorna finds herself in more knotty predicaments than a novice knitter, yet she tells her often grim life story with a grin.
Was Lorna born curious and insecure or did her father’s mysterious disappearance when she was four years old make her that way? Was she really a Good Girl or was she clever enough to be an adept actress? Why did she wait until she was fifty years old to start saying what was really on her mind?
Lorna’s story is one of decisions and their consequences born out of ignorance, or innocence. Information was withheld; secrets were kept. Looking back, she asks, “How was I supposed to know?” And then she laughs, because what else can she do?
This book explores Lorna’s adventure of not knowing what was around the next corner (or why she was even turning a corner) and the sometimes delightful, sometimes shocking, but always enlightening surprises that awaited her.
1. felt as if you never really got over your childhood?
2. looked at your life choices and asked, “What was I thinking?”
3. wondered if you would have made the same choices if you then what you know now?
4. had trouble establishing and maintaining healthy relationships, either with yourself or with other people? Probably both?
5. been told that you are “too sensitive,” “the problem,” or “an alcoholic?”
6. been curious about how people who aren’t fictional face their fears?
7. wished you fretted less and laughed more when life throws you a curve ball?
Well, then, this book is for you!
Lorna is like everyone you’ve ever known. She is also like no one you’ll ever meet again. She’s just an ordinary person trying to make the best of the predicament du jour. What makes her different? The answers are revealed in this, her first, book. Here’s a hint: Lorna finds herself in more knotty predicaments than a novice knitter, yet she tells her often grim life story with a grin.
Was Lorna born curious and insecure or did her father’s mysterious disappearance when she was four years old make her that way? Was she really a Good Girl or was she clever enough to be an adept actress? Why did she wait until she was fifty years old to start saying what was really on her mind?
Lorna’s story is one of decisions and their consequences born out of ignorance, or innocence. Information was withheld; secrets were kept. Looking back, she asks, “How was I supposed to know?” And then she laughs, because what else can she do?
This book explores Lorna’s adventure of not knowing what was around the next corner (or why she was even turning a corner) and the sometimes delightful, sometimes shocking, but always enlightening surprises that awaited her.
414 pages, Paperback
First published January 11, 2013
About the author
Lorna Lee
9 books5 followersI am a mid-fifty-ish dizzy blonde author of a self-published humorous memoir.
In my former life as a sociology professor, I published many academic and research papers. Creative writing is a new path taken since my premature disability retirement due to Chronic Fatigue and Immune Dysfunction Syndrome. This disease affected my brain first (constant dizziness and hypersensitivity to sensory stimuli and stress) and then my body (insomnia, nausea, digestive issues, muscle aches and fatigue). I felt as if I was falling apart, and, just to show me, my life kind of did fall apart.
I started writing funny stories about my life before the dizziness just to laugh and feel normal. It helped. Those stories eventually became my memoir.
In 2010, I was a finalist in the Memoir genre of the Writer’s Digest Annual Writing Contest. This memoir is my first book-length publication. Somewhere in her mom’s closet is a single edition of original poems about a frog, a ghost, and a kitten. The booklet was illustrated by Lisa (her younger sister) and compiled for her mother’s birthday when Lorna was about seven years old. In case anyone is searching for it, the cover was made from green construction paper.
My new novel is a fictionalized account of the true events of my grandmother's life. And what a life it was! She was a single mother raising a half Jewish child (my mother) before and during World War II in Paris. The novel chronicles her challenging journey from Finland to France, then finally to a poop part of America she never knew could exist.
I currently lives with the man of her dreams (not my husband) and the dog of my dreams in the home of my dreams: a cozy, finish, and decidedly unbroken home. I keep myself busy writing, quilting, walking, and blogging.
In my former life as a sociology professor, I published many academic and research papers. Creative writing is a new path taken since my premature disability retirement due to Chronic Fatigue and Immune Dysfunction Syndrome. This disease affected my brain first (constant dizziness and hypersensitivity to sensory stimuli and stress) and then my body (insomnia, nausea, digestive issues, muscle aches and fatigue). I felt as if I was falling apart, and, just to show me, my life kind of did fall apart.
I started writing funny stories about my life before the dizziness just to laugh and feel normal. It helped. Those stories eventually became my memoir.
In 2010, I was a finalist in the Memoir genre of the Writer’s Digest Annual Writing Contest. This memoir is my first book-length publication. Somewhere in her mom’s closet is a single edition of original poems about a frog, a ghost, and a kitten. The booklet was illustrated by Lisa (her younger sister) and compiled for her mother’s birthday when Lorna was about seven years old. In case anyone is searching for it, the cover was made from green construction paper.
My new novel is a fictionalized account of the true events of my grandmother's life. And what a life it was! She was a single mother raising a half Jewish child (my mother) before and during World War II in Paris. The novel chronicles her challenging journey from Finland to France, then finally to a poop part of America she never knew could exist.
I currently lives with the man of her dreams (not my husband) and the dog of my dreams in the home of my dreams: a cozy, finish, and decidedly unbroken home. I keep myself busy writing, quilting, walking, and blogging.
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
November 8, 2015
After reading the title of Lorna Lee's book, How Was I Supposed to Know? The Adventures a Girl Whose Name Means Lost, a Memoir, I wondered whether I would be reading a memoir or a self-help motivational book. On the back cover Lee asks the prospective reader a number of questions. Have you ever "felt as if you've never gotten over your childhood" or "looked at your life choices and asked 'what was I thinking?." Have you ever "wished you knew then what you know now" or "had trouble maintaining a healthy relationship?" Have you ever "been told that you're 'too sensitive,' 'the problem,' or 'an alcoholic'" or "wished you fretted less and laughed more?" If the answer is yes, then Lee assures the reader that this book is for you.
I certainly can answer affirmatively to many of her questions, and as I began reading, I wondered (hoped even) whether Lee was going to help me resolve all of my angst. How Was I Supposed to Know? is indeed a memoir—one that is most enjoyable. With self-effacing humor, she shares her tales of a good-girl youth, alcoholic teen, mismatched marriage, fulfilling career, responsible parenthood, and premature retirement.
Early in her marriage, when she is in her late twenties, Lee first asks herself "Who am I?" She tells us, "in a rare moment of clarity while skunk drunk, I realize just how self-centered, heartless, and deceitful I had become. I no longer displayed the qualities I wanted others to think of when they thought of me..." Lee, "whose whole life was about proving my worthiness to anyone who cared to pay attention to me," sets out to prove herself to her husband. She becomes sober and a good parent, earns a PhD, and pursues a career as a college professor. She spends quite a bit time discussing her deteriorating marriage, noting that she has always suffered from "Confrontation Phobia," and describing how difficult it is for her to finally reach a point where she moves from "where did I go wrong" to "I can't live like this. I deserve better."
A debilitating Chronic Fatigue and Immune Dysfunction Syndrome followed by brain surgery complicates Lee's life. At 48, she is "prematurely retired." No longer able to teach, she begins writing stories about her childhood that she describes as "therapeutic and safe," reminding herself of the lighthearted Lorna whom she "didn't want to lose in light of all her marriage and health problems." What follows are tales of her determination not to define herself by disability and move beyond an "in-valid" Lorna.
She tells a story of attending a Deepak Chopra lecture. She'd won her ticket to this event by submitting the question: "What's the difference between giving up and letting go?" Enlightened by his response, Lee begins to find some peace and stasis. Self-reflection and self-care ensues, leading her in unexpected directions and more tales of her "curve ball" life.
Throughout this book, Lee successfully entertains her reader with a series of anecdotes of one tough life. Her tales are incredibly upbeat and many times just plain funny. This reader never felt sorry for her. Indeed, Lee's energy and drive and overwhelming desire to get things right are motivational. Her culminating reflections on her contentment with "being me" are inspirational.
by Diane Stanton
for Story Circle Book Reviews
reviewing books by, for, and about women
I certainly can answer affirmatively to many of her questions, and as I began reading, I wondered (hoped even) whether Lee was going to help me resolve all of my angst. How Was I Supposed to Know? is indeed a memoir—one that is most enjoyable. With self-effacing humor, she shares her tales of a good-girl youth, alcoholic teen, mismatched marriage, fulfilling career, responsible parenthood, and premature retirement.
Early in her marriage, when she is in her late twenties, Lee first asks herself "Who am I?" She tells us, "in a rare moment of clarity while skunk drunk, I realize just how self-centered, heartless, and deceitful I had become. I no longer displayed the qualities I wanted others to think of when they thought of me..." Lee, "whose whole life was about proving my worthiness to anyone who cared to pay attention to me," sets out to prove herself to her husband. She becomes sober and a good parent, earns a PhD, and pursues a career as a college professor. She spends quite a bit time discussing her deteriorating marriage, noting that she has always suffered from "Confrontation Phobia," and describing how difficult it is for her to finally reach a point where she moves from "where did I go wrong" to "I can't live like this. I deserve better."
A debilitating Chronic Fatigue and Immune Dysfunction Syndrome followed by brain surgery complicates Lee's life. At 48, she is "prematurely retired." No longer able to teach, she begins writing stories about her childhood that she describes as "therapeutic and safe," reminding herself of the lighthearted Lorna whom she "didn't want to lose in light of all her marriage and health problems." What follows are tales of her determination not to define herself by disability and move beyond an "in-valid" Lorna.
She tells a story of attending a Deepak Chopra lecture. She'd won her ticket to this event by submitting the question: "What's the difference between giving up and letting go?" Enlightened by his response, Lee begins to find some peace and stasis. Self-reflection and self-care ensues, leading her in unexpected directions and more tales of her "curve ball" life.
Throughout this book, Lee successfully entertains her reader with a series of anecdotes of one tough life. Her tales are incredibly upbeat and many times just plain funny. This reader never felt sorry for her. Indeed, Lee's energy and drive and overwhelming desire to get things right are motivational. Her culminating reflections on her contentment with "being me" are inspirational.
by Diane Stanton
for Story Circle Book Reviews
reviewing books by, for, and about women
April 17, 2013
Lorna Lee has achieved something unusual in her first non-fiction book. She has taken the material of her life, a life that will be recognisable to many readers, and made of it both a poignant coming-of-age tale and a vigorous thriller.
How Was I Supposed to Know? The Adventures of a Girl Whose Name Means Lost is the story of her childhood growing up in a trailer in rural New York State after the mysterious disappearance of her father; through marriage, motherhood, academic success and illness, and a marvellous second chance.
An accomplished academic writer, Lee’s ease and authority on the printed page transfers readily to the world of non-fiction. Her voice – comic, poignant, interrogative – handles the often-challenging material with a rare assurance. And she pulls no punches.
Lee deals with the alcoholism of her teens and 20s with great courage and candour; so too, the realities of motherhood and a husband who increasingly withdraws to the recliner downstairs during the course of their marriage. There will be many women too, who, like me, will recognise the painful, awkward truth about the bargains we thought we were making in the area of sex that were not bargains at all.
Lee has discovered the secret of all the best memoirists: make it as local as possible and it becomes universal. She recreates the details of her schooling at the “St Morris Catholic School for the Incessantly Damned”, otherwise known as the “St Morris Catholic School for the Eternally Miserable”, with a vividness that transports the reader back to the age of 10 with disconcerting efficiency.
I grew up in a country on the other side of the world from Lee’s, and many of our experiences differ. However, reading this book brought my own history before me in a way that I cannot remember another book doing. It is a testament to Lee’s skill and sensitivity that one feels adequate to the survey.
As the final chapters unfold, the mystery of Lee’s father is revealed after more than 40 years, and the book ends on a deeply satisfying and triumphant note.
I highly recommend Lorna Lee’s memoir, How Was I Supposed to Know? The Adventures of a Girl Whose Name Means Lost. It is the account of the life of a courageous and indefatigable woman that will have you laughing and crying, and looking at the clock in disbelief, “Have I really been reading for hours?”
How Was I Supposed to Know? The Adventures of a Girl Whose Name Means Lost is the story of her childhood growing up in a trailer in rural New York State after the mysterious disappearance of her father; through marriage, motherhood, academic success and illness, and a marvellous second chance.
An accomplished academic writer, Lee’s ease and authority on the printed page transfers readily to the world of non-fiction. Her voice – comic, poignant, interrogative – handles the often-challenging material with a rare assurance. And she pulls no punches.
Lee deals with the alcoholism of her teens and 20s with great courage and candour; so too, the realities of motherhood and a husband who increasingly withdraws to the recliner downstairs during the course of their marriage. There will be many women too, who, like me, will recognise the painful, awkward truth about the bargains we thought we were making in the area of sex that were not bargains at all.
Lee has discovered the secret of all the best memoirists: make it as local as possible and it becomes universal. She recreates the details of her schooling at the “St Morris Catholic School for the Incessantly Damned”, otherwise known as the “St Morris Catholic School for the Eternally Miserable”, with a vividness that transports the reader back to the age of 10 with disconcerting efficiency.
I grew up in a country on the other side of the world from Lee’s, and many of our experiences differ. However, reading this book brought my own history before me in a way that I cannot remember another book doing. It is a testament to Lee’s skill and sensitivity that one feels adequate to the survey.
As the final chapters unfold, the mystery of Lee’s father is revealed after more than 40 years, and the book ends on a deeply satisfying and triumphant note.
I highly recommend Lorna Lee’s memoir, How Was I Supposed to Know? The Adventures of a Girl Whose Name Means Lost. It is the account of the life of a courageous and indefatigable woman that will have you laughing and crying, and looking at the clock in disbelief, “Have I really been reading for hours?”
February 9, 2013
Lorna Lee's How Was I Supposed to Know is a remarkable read. There is so much talent in the writing and way the story of the author's life is woven together that it was hard to put the book down. There were so many wonderful, poignant, heartbreaking, funny, delightful and sexy parts that take the reader into what it is to be human, without pretense; the raw open honest authentic facing of all that one is, is brilliantly expressed.
This is an intelligent read where Lee takes us into relationships with men, her son, family, dogs and a bird that resonate on a cellular level bringing out the readers emotions. We read her story and care; feel she is our sister, our mother, our Professor, our friend, our very own broken heart and soul as well as the phoenix from the ashes.
Around the time when you think you know where everything is going, this woman's story, her life, take twists and turns of one unexpected surprise after another, as good as any mystery read or love story. This is a love story at its core, the finding of and accepting of self and all that one goes through to gain that to a most wonderful unexpected ending and outcome. I fell in love with this story, with her dogs, cats, bird, self-reflection, raw open honest emotional communication that most dare to only think, yet never utter. It is the courage of the outpouring and leaving nothing unsaid that makes this a compelling read. Highly recommend.
This is an intelligent read where Lee takes us into relationships with men, her son, family, dogs and a bird that resonate on a cellular level bringing out the readers emotions. We read her story and care; feel she is our sister, our mother, our Professor, our friend, our very own broken heart and soul as well as the phoenix from the ashes.
Around the time when you think you know where everything is going, this woman's story, her life, take twists and turns of one unexpected surprise after another, as good as any mystery read or love story. This is a love story at its core, the finding of and accepting of self and all that one goes through to gain that to a most wonderful unexpected ending and outcome. I fell in love with this story, with her dogs, cats, bird, self-reflection, raw open honest emotional communication that most dare to only think, yet never utter. It is the courage of the outpouring and leaving nothing unsaid that makes this a compelling read. Highly recommend.
February 28, 2013
"How Was I Supposed to Know?" by Lorna Lee was recommended to me by a friend and as always, she did not disappoint me.
This memoir is in parts sad and melancholic but it is also hugely inspirational and cathartic.
The author grew up to please people and to achieve rather than making problems, which leads her to having problems in her relationships and with alcohol. Hit by actual lightning twice and by proverbial lightning all through her life Lorna Lee has to brave many storms before learning the lessons life has to teach her.
I found the book beautifully written; emotional enough to make me feel her pain but also very witty, analytical and insightful, which makes it distinguishable from the rest. The narrative flows easily and each chapter is introduced with a appropriate picture, often with a great sense of irony.
The honesty and the ability to rationalise and summarise her feelings and those of the people around her make this a very rich and educational read.
While one chapter made me worry that I had ended up with yet another 'Divorce-Survivor' tale I can assure you all that Lorna Lee survived much more than that and most importantly, that she did so in an exceptionally philosophical manner and so truly came out on top.
This memoir is in parts sad and melancholic but it is also hugely inspirational and cathartic.
The author grew up to please people and to achieve rather than making problems, which leads her to having problems in her relationships and with alcohol. Hit by actual lightning twice and by proverbial lightning all through her life Lorna Lee has to brave many storms before learning the lessons life has to teach her.
I found the book beautifully written; emotional enough to make me feel her pain but also very witty, analytical and insightful, which makes it distinguishable from the rest. The narrative flows easily and each chapter is introduced with a appropriate picture, often with a great sense of irony.
The honesty and the ability to rationalise and summarise her feelings and those of the people around her make this a very rich and educational read.
While one chapter made me worry that I had ended up with yet another 'Divorce-Survivor' tale I can assure you all that Lorna Lee survived much more than that and most importantly, that she did so in an exceptionally philosophical manner and so truly came out on top.
April 6, 2013
A first take on this memoir may give the impression that it could be anyone's story...or at least that of those of us who grew up in the 2nd half of the 20th Century. It is indeed an adventure (do you know anyone else who was struck twice by lightning?) and it evaluates the angst of coming-of-age with clarity and humor. Humor it is that makes Lorna Lee's telling such a compelling read.
The author, who has a doctoral degree in sociology, sheds insight that enables readers of diverse backgrounds to identify and learn from the larger themes that she skillfully embeds in her telling of struggling with weight issues, alcoholism in her family of origins which poured into her own life at an early age, of allowing herself to become involved in relationship that kept her in a subservient role, of significant health challenges and eventually in her amazing rebirth as a woman of strength and self-nurture. Oh, and did I mention humor?
I wholeheartedly recommend "How Was I Supposed to Know?" both for its insights and the shear delight of a story well told.
The author, who has a doctoral degree in sociology, sheds insight that enables readers of diverse backgrounds to identify and learn from the larger themes that she skillfully embeds in her telling of struggling with weight issues, alcoholism in her family of origins which poured into her own life at an early age, of allowing herself to become involved in relationship that kept her in a subservient role, of significant health challenges and eventually in her amazing rebirth as a woman of strength and self-nurture. Oh, and did I mention humor?
I wholeheartedly recommend "How Was I Supposed to Know?" both for its insights and the shear delight of a story well told.
March 9, 2013
How Was I Supposed To Know? is a memoir that occasionally elicits a chuckle, often empathetic distress, and always appreciation for the author's struggle to deal with adversity and for her self-insight. It was enjoyable but sometimes the pain of some of the situations despite the author's attempt to present them humorously, was difficult.
December 21, 2014
First of all, this is a very funny book. There are things that happen to Ms. Lee that are not funny at all, and it can get serious, but she handles her challenging life with grace and humor. I was amazed at how open she was about things-we-do-not-talk-about-in-public. (Or anywhere else, either). She just laid it all out there, and that honesty and bravery made me love her. This was a great read.
January 15, 2013
What got me the most was how you were/are able to look at your life and stitch together how one thing affects another and how everything is related. And you are genuinely happy right now!!
October 11, 2015
The book is funny, savvy and smart! Glad I read it. I'm honored to have gotten to meet the author too! I recommend this book as a rainy Saturday read.
February 22, 2013
Genre: Memoir
Blurb: (from Goodreads) (from Goodreads) Lorna is like everyone you’ve ever known. She is also like no one you’ll ever meet again. She’s just an ordinary person trying to make the best of the predicament du jour. What makes her different? The answers are revealed in this, her first, book. Here’s a hint: Lorna finds herself in more knotty predicaments than a novice knitter, yet she tells her often grim life story with a grin.
Was Lorna born curious and insecure or did her father’s mysterious disappearance when she was four years old make her that way? Was she really a Good Girl or was she clever enough to be an adept actress? Why did she wait until she was fifty years old to start saying what was really on her mind?
Lorna’s story is one of decisions and their consequences born out of ignorance, or innocence. Information was withheld; secrets were kept. Looking back, she asks, “How was I supposed to know?” And then she laughs, because what else can she do?
This book explores Lorna’s adventure of not knowing what was around the next corner (or why she was even turning a corner) and the sometimes delightful, sometimes shocking, but always enlightening surprises that awaited her
What I liked: Most everything about this novel. I don't read many memoirs so I don't have a lot to compare this too, but I really enjoyed this story. Lee is very good at telling her story. Despite the many sad events that happen to the author in her life, she tells her story in an entertaining and often funny manner. And it's nice to see how she personally is able to make lemonade out of the many lemons that are thrown her way. The writing is good, and the story moves right along. I like the pictures she includes in each chapter, as well.
What I didn't like: Over use of capitalization of words that don't need to be capitalized, but that is just the writer in me.
Rating: 4/5
Blurb: (from Goodreads) (from Goodreads) Lorna is like everyone you’ve ever known. She is also like no one you’ll ever meet again. She’s just an ordinary person trying to make the best of the predicament du jour. What makes her different? The answers are revealed in this, her first, book. Here’s a hint: Lorna finds herself in more knotty predicaments than a novice knitter, yet she tells her often grim life story with a grin.
Was Lorna born curious and insecure or did her father’s mysterious disappearance when she was four years old make her that way? Was she really a Good Girl or was she clever enough to be an adept actress? Why did she wait until she was fifty years old to start saying what was really on her mind?
Lorna’s story is one of decisions and their consequences born out of ignorance, or innocence. Information was withheld; secrets were kept. Looking back, she asks, “How was I supposed to know?” And then she laughs, because what else can she do?
This book explores Lorna’s adventure of not knowing what was around the next corner (or why she was even turning a corner) and the sometimes delightful, sometimes shocking, but always enlightening surprises that awaited her
What I liked: Most everything about this novel. I don't read many memoirs so I don't have a lot to compare this too, but I really enjoyed this story. Lee is very good at telling her story. Despite the many sad events that happen to the author in her life, she tells her story in an entertaining and often funny manner. And it's nice to see how she personally is able to make lemonade out of the many lemons that are thrown her way. The writing is good, and the story moves right along. I like the pictures she includes in each chapter, as well.
What I didn't like: Over use of capitalization of words that don't need to be capitalized, but that is just the writer in me.
Rating: 4/5
November 19, 2014
Never Turn Back is such a departure from author Lorna Lee’s usual zany sense of humor that several pages into the novel, I had to double-check to make certain I had the right book. This historical is based on her grandmother’s (Meri) life, and deals with sexual discrimination and abuse, the Nazi occupation of Paris, anti-Semitism, and the hardships of life as an immigrant. In some respects, Ms. Lee’s drastic change of genre was a risk, but I think it was a risk worth taking. Her fans will be impressed.
In 1923, Meri, leaves her young brother and Grandmother in Finland to pursue her dream of working as a seamstress in the fashion houses of Paris. She doesn’t speak the language, knows no one, and soon discovers that no Paris fashion house will hire an immigrant from Finland. Determined not to return home and desperate for money, she takes a job as a maid in a hotel with the hope that one day she will still realize her dream. Her journey, from her early days in Paris to her life in post-WWII America, is tumultuous. The circumstances of the time she lives in make life hard, but she’s also extremely naïve and makes decisions without understanding the consequences.
Nine years after her arrival in Paris, pro-Nazi, anti- Semitism is flourishing in France and she is pregnant with the child of her Jewish fiancé. To protect her child, she chooses to disappear from her fiancé’s life and keep her daughter Jeannine’s heritage a secret. That also means that she must live apart from Jeannine while she works as a domestic in order to provide the support that her daughter needs. Once the war is over, she convinces herself that New York City is the best place for her and her daughter and ties herself to a man she doesn’t love to achieve her plans.
Meri is an imperfect character trying to find her way in a world filled with prejudice and discrimination. At times, I wanted to shake her, sometimes I didn’t even like her, but I was always rooting for her. Never Turn Back is an extraordinary novel and I’m glad that Ms. Lee decided that her grandmother’s story was one that needed to be told.
In 1923, Meri, leaves her young brother and Grandmother in Finland to pursue her dream of working as a seamstress in the fashion houses of Paris. She doesn’t speak the language, knows no one, and soon discovers that no Paris fashion house will hire an immigrant from Finland. Determined not to return home and desperate for money, she takes a job as a maid in a hotel with the hope that one day she will still realize her dream. Her journey, from her early days in Paris to her life in post-WWII America, is tumultuous. The circumstances of the time she lives in make life hard, but she’s also extremely naïve and makes decisions without understanding the consequences.
Nine years after her arrival in Paris, pro-Nazi, anti- Semitism is flourishing in France and she is pregnant with the child of her Jewish fiancé. To protect her child, she chooses to disappear from her fiancé’s life and keep her daughter Jeannine’s heritage a secret. That also means that she must live apart from Jeannine while she works as a domestic in order to provide the support that her daughter needs. Once the war is over, she convinces herself that New York City is the best place for her and her daughter and ties herself to a man she doesn’t love to achieve her plans.
Meri is an imperfect character trying to find her way in a world filled with prejudice and discrimination. At times, I wanted to shake her, sometimes I didn’t even like her, but I was always rooting for her. Never Turn Back is an extraordinary novel and I’m glad that Ms. Lee decided that her grandmother’s story was one that needed to be told.
October 13, 2014
“Never Turn Back” by Lorna Lee is the remarkable journey of Meri, a young Finnish woman through the 20th century.
Brought up by a critical mother and a mostly absent but philosophically minded father in the quiet Finnish countryside Meri dreams of bigger things and she leaves for Paris soon after the Civil War and WW1, to pursue a career in Fashion abroad.
Immigrant life in its harsh reality falls short of her expectations, but she proves determined to keep going. Her life is a series of choices, of exploiting and being exploited, friends and foes. An impressive life story, a loving tribute to a strong woman and a masterful illustration of life’s many obstacles on a war torn continent.
Woven into the narrative are great details about the historical setting and the times. The book covers a lot of ground, geographically and historically, and focuses on many different aspects of Meri’s life as she grows as a person and as her life and priorities change: Her ambitions, her ideas, old and new emotional scars. The book is a moving and enlightening journey.
Meri is a fascinating character and her story demonstrates the element of chance and faith excellently. She stayed with me long after I had finished reading this remarkable book.
Brought up by a critical mother and a mostly absent but philosophically minded father in the quiet Finnish countryside Meri dreams of bigger things and she leaves for Paris soon after the Civil War and WW1, to pursue a career in Fashion abroad.
Immigrant life in its harsh reality falls short of her expectations, but she proves determined to keep going. Her life is a series of choices, of exploiting and being exploited, friends and foes. An impressive life story, a loving tribute to a strong woman and a masterful illustration of life’s many obstacles on a war torn continent.
Woven into the narrative are great details about the historical setting and the times. The book covers a lot of ground, geographically and historically, and focuses on many different aspects of Meri’s life as she grows as a person and as her life and priorities change: Her ambitions, her ideas, old and new emotional scars. The book is a moving and enlightening journey.
Meri is a fascinating character and her story demonstrates the element of chance and faith excellently. She stayed with me long after I had finished reading this remarkable book.
March 19, 2013
“How Was I Supposed To Know? The Adventures of a Girl Whose Name Means Lost” is a beautifully-written memoir by author Lorna Lee.
Lorna captures the turbulence of her life in a candid, no-holds-barred story that reads like a novel, except the heroine in this particular story is a real person complete with a myriad of human flaws as well as a multitude of strengths and attributes that make her unique.
Lorna’s voice is witty, self-deprecating, wry and brutally honest, and she uses this wonderful tool to adeptly set the tone for the entire memoir. We march along with her through her less-than-perfect childhood into her life as a woman, wife and mother, and along the way we witness intimate details of her life that had to have been painful to write about, no matter how many years have passed between the actual events and the telling of these events.
Throughout the entire book the author never pretends to be anything other than what she is--a human being with a compelling story to share with the world, and as a reader who hated for the book to end, I can attest to the fact that hers is a story worth reading.
Highly recommend.
Lorna captures the turbulence of her life in a candid, no-holds-barred story that reads like a novel, except the heroine in this particular story is a real person complete with a myriad of human flaws as well as a multitude of strengths and attributes that make her unique.
Lorna’s voice is witty, self-deprecating, wry and brutally honest, and she uses this wonderful tool to adeptly set the tone for the entire memoir. We march along with her through her less-than-perfect childhood into her life as a woman, wife and mother, and along the way we witness intimate details of her life that had to have been painful to write about, no matter how many years have passed between the actual events and the telling of these events.
Throughout the entire book the author never pretends to be anything other than what she is--a human being with a compelling story to share with the world, and as a reader who hated for the book to end, I can attest to the fact that hers is a story worth reading.
Highly recommend.
November 2, 2014
I thoroughly enjoyed this story of Meri Vaasara, the feisty young woman, determined to make something of her life against the odds. It's an easy read, and by that I don't mean it's lightweight - it certainly tackles some weighty issues, both the personal ones that Meri has to face, and the wider societal, political and economic ones - by "easy read" I mean that everything flows well, I had no difficulty keeping up with who's who and what's what, and the story moves along at just the right pace.
The story is based on the life of the author's grandmother, and the book weaves fact and fiction seamlessly together to create an engaging and wholly believable story. It's one of those books where you find yourself quickly immersed in the story and then feel a sense of loss at the end that you will no longer be part of their lives. We might not agree with some of Meri's choices, but we can totally understand why she makes them, and we're rooting for her all the way through. I think this book would be excellent dramatised for TV, I could totally see this as a BBC production, maybe split over 12 episodes; that's the type of feel it has to it.
The story is based on the life of the author's grandmother, and the book weaves fact and fiction seamlessly together to create an engaging and wholly believable story. It's one of those books where you find yourself quickly immersed in the story and then feel a sense of loss at the end that you will no longer be part of their lives. We might not agree with some of Meri's choices, but we can totally understand why she makes them, and we're rooting for her all the way through. I think this book would be excellent dramatised for TV, I could totally see this as a BBC production, maybe split over 12 episodes; that's the type of feel it has to it.
November 1, 2014
A friend told me about this book, said I had to read it, and I hesitated. Historicals are not my thing. And if that was all there was to this book, I don’t think I would have liked it, but I did. It’s the story of an eighteen-year-old girl (it blows my mind to think of how young she was!) who leaves Finland for Paris in the early nineteen hundreds, by herself, not knowing the language, having no family support at either end of the journey, with almost no money, only a burning desire to be a part of the fashion industry.
What made this such a powerful story for me is that Meri was a real person, and she didn’t inhabit the fanciful history of fiction, she really lived in these times. Through her we experience what it was like to be a foreigner in France in the 1900’s - scorned, abused, frightened - and yet also determined and resourceful. And triumphant, in her own way. This book was written by Meri’s granddaughter with affection and admiration, and that’s how I felt at the end, too.
What made this such a powerful story for me is that Meri was a real person, and she didn’t inhabit the fanciful history of fiction, she really lived in these times. Through her we experience what it was like to be a foreigner in France in the 1900’s - scorned, abused, frightened - and yet also determined and resourceful. And triumphant, in her own way. This book was written by Meri’s granddaughter with affection and admiration, and that’s how I felt at the end, too.
October 13, 2014
Dreaming of becoming a famous designer, the protagonist, Meri, burns through on the page in a once vibrant Paris bracing for Hitler’s invasion. Faced with a pregnancy by a Jewish man, Meri is intent on keeping the secret and surviving at all costs in an increasingly hostile environment. Never Turn Back is a captivating narrative, a metaphor for the longing and conviction of youth that surmounts horrors and tragedies. In one heart-wrenching turn after another the brilliant writing of Lorna Earl weaves a compelling tale—based on real people—that glues the reader to the page and keeps the imagery of this story in our minds, and hearts, for days after the last page is shut. Paulette Mahurin
October 17, 2014
Well crafted and interesting story of a girl who moves through her life with her fair share of trauma and suffering but instead of it breaking her, she raises to the occasion to survive and that she does. This is a story of a woman with strength, courage, and a deep heart, who shows us what's possibly when our hearts are wounded but our strength carries us through to that brighter day, the light at the end of the tunnel. Lovely dialogue and scenes move this poignant story along through to the end.
November 3, 2014
I read Lorna's first book - How Was I Supposed to Know - and really loved it, so I thought I'd give this one a go.
November 5, 2014
Disappointing
surprisingly, I could find no one to like in this book. The main. character is shallow and proved to be not very bright and selfish.
surprisingly, I could find no one to like in this book. The main. character is shallow and proved to be not very bright and selfish.
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