Psycho Proctologists and the Flaming Buttholes of Doom

Psycho Proctologists #1

by W.W. Pecker

Forget Fifty Shades of Gray, this book is fifty shades blacker than your a**hole . . . Michael McLaren is Hollywood's proctologist to the stars. In Tinseltown, there's no shortage of famous people who need things discreetly removed from their sphincters--or who want things shoved up there. Either way, business is good. But when he discovers that demons dwell in the darkest crevices of existence, he's unwittingly initiated into a secret society of demon hunters: The Psycho Proctologists. The world may think they're crazy, but they're all that's standing between you and the Armageddon. Because when flaming buttholes threaten to doom humanity as we know it, who ya gonna call? A butt doctor.

Genres: Paranormal, M M Romance, Bizarro Fiction

112 pages, Paperback

First published October 14, 2012

About the author

W.W. Pecker is the top-secret pen name of an award-winning author.

No, really. It wasn’t the Nobel Prize, or even the Pullitzer, but it was an award for writing, dammit. And no, it wasn’t his third grade teacher’s class prize, either. Geez. Cynical, much?

When he’s not writing, he can usually be found watching porn on the internet.

Reviews

[Erica Ravenclaw · Rating 4 out of 5]

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

No spoilers and colorful language abound!



Well… what the actual fuck did I just read? I really have no idea how to review this book, as it is my first Bizzaro read, I'm not sure how it holds up in it's own genre. As a new-comer to this fascinating world of print I have to say, it was great! When this book showed up in my news feed, I of course had to at least look at the synopsis, only to find "50 shades blacker than your asshole" and I bought it without hesitating. You make me cackle in the first line of your blurb, SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY. With a few clicks, it was on my Kindle and I waited with hushed giggles for my husband to get the "ping" of a purchase on his iPad. Surprisingly, he just nodded at my purchase, I suppose he knows me better than I give him credit for.



I'm not going to go into the plot really, this book isn't that long and I don't want to spoil. I invite you to take a look at my updates and if that tickles your fancy, welcome to your new favorite genre! There was not a moment I wasn't in flux between cringing, laughing or pondering why I chose to read this in the first place. The ending absolutely killed me, from 80% on I was cracking up, all talks about buttholes and hand jobs and the Westboro Baptist Church is the enemy, what's not to love? The part I found most surprising is how well written it is, I didn't have much to go off of except the title and that cover art so... my expectations were really low. Color me surprised when not a single sentence jumped out to assault my eyeballs, well done W.W. Pecker.

Here is what I know, this was fucking hilarious, I will be reading the next installment and I have a new genre to explore!

[Athena Shardbearer · Rating 4 out of 5]

This review has very color language and obscene scenes from the book. Read at your own risk.


From the Author:

My Dearest sick fucks,

If you've read this far, then I congratulate you. Your fortitude is legendary.


I'll tell you what is legendary, this fucking book! OMG. I haven't laughed so hard, cringed and gag so often from a book.

I jiggled the speculum a little bit. "How about now?"

"No. No. Maybe...a little deeper?"

"Everything looks just fine, Mr. Cameron," I told Kirk. "I don't see any warning sings at all."

"Nothing doc? Are you sure you couldn't look a little deeper?"

So there is this guy Mikey and he's a Proctologist. And he has a friend, Joseph H. Fitz, Jr., who he calls Fister. Well Fister is a demon hunter and drags Mikey into these exorcism of sorts. Now, these exorcism consist of crucifix dildos, and Archbishop sperm. Don't ask...just read.

Then we meet Victoria and her honey badger beaver son, Henry. They are demon hunters too.


"Identify yourself,"

"Very well." Fister took a deep breath. "In darkest hour, let all pussy-assed motherfuckers of the nether realms fear our might."

"For united we stand.."

"And liberty and justice for all."


Now, I get it. This is not every-ones cup of tea, but I really enjoyed it. This is my second read in the genre of Bizarro and I will read the next two. I want to know what Fister, Mikey, Victoria and Honey Badge Beaver get into next.

I read this with a few of my buddies in a bizarro read group and they loved it too!

[Michael · Rating 4 out of 5]

Any book that features a cameo from Kirk Cameron and The Westboro Baptist Church as the villains is a book I would have to read. I saw the title and yeah my inner ten year old was laughing like crazy.

If you have a twisted sense of humor this is a book you have to read. Tons of demons that fart green fire, and a group of demon hunters that mesh together quite well. Did I mention that the book was funny and does feature a ton of great gross out humor?

W.W. Pecker sent me a free copy of this and I thought that was pretty cool but given the title I wasn't expecting much in the way of storytelling. Anything with a title like this isn't going to be a book you would expect to have a plot right?

The plot here is simple and straightforward. Despite the subject matter it is well written and yes, even juvenile at times, but that's really why I read it. This is a great beginning to a series that I plan on reading.

[Teresa · Rating 5 out of 5]

***Disclaimer: this 'review' came from a buddy read a couple of us Goodreads weird-Os decided to team up on. That's why its written all weird. Sorry. Deal with it.***

Whoa! Lots has happened since I started my nightly cleaning duties at work and got super busy with customers! Holy shitballs! Psycho Proctologist is spreading like wildfire! But for serious- this book is crazy, hella good...I bought the 3 pack omnibus thingy, too. I knew I was going to read the next two just by the synopsis of the first one (umm...that would be 'The Flaming Buttholes of Doom,' not to be confused with the second PP book 'Hakuna Matata, Vagina Dentata' or the third- 'The Urethrae of Annihilation'). Man...I just don't even really know what to say about this book. I fucking loved it- that's a fact. Umm...it was definitely what I, personally, would classify as 'Bizarro,' it was funny, it had TONS of wordplay (like Fister, and that's just a super obvious one...there are some pretty clever bits to this book), it was highly enjoyable and easy to read. You know...something you'd curl up with for an hour or so to pass a rainy afternoon. Or when you want to be amused by demon flatulence from hell itself. Let me put it to ya like this: W.W. Pecker has managed to write a book that begins with Kirk Cameron's asshole and ends with [redacted] Westboro Church Members that are secretly [redacted]. That's pure magic right there! I mean, how could it NOT be awesome? It couldn't not be awesome, because its so awesome. So yeah...you should all read all of them (even though I haven't read the second two yet). And yes, this 'post' basically turned into my review at some point. Oh well.

Oh yeah...I guess since it will end up being a review (this post, I mean- stay with me here), I should probs tell ya what I'm gonna rate it: BAM! 5 stars! And that's because it is perfect for what it is- a short, funny, creative, twisted little mindfuck that makes you feel like proctologists could, indeed, be living some QUITE unusual lives. It did for me what I believe the author intended it to do. It amused, yet had a thriller type action plot, and was completely insane. And THAT'S how I love my books! Bravo! Three cheers! Hip hip hooray! And all that other celebratory shit people say- read it if you wanna laugh and not be a shitbag stick in the mud. You won't be disappointed.

[June (Kallandra) Kaye · Rating 4 out of 5]

Is your sense of humor something very few others can understand?

Is grossing out someone, something that makes you laugh non-stop?

Have you been told, your sense of humor is odd?

Well then.. This could be the book for you!!

I love the villains in the book, mainly Kirk Cameron and Westboro Baptist Church, and the weird way "Fister" the sidekick acts. This book made me giggle page after page. What else is there to say? I recommend trying it out, if you love odd quirky books and are an odd quirky person!

[Tandie]

"Forget Fifty Shades of Gray, this book is fifty shades blacker than your a**hole . . . "

Oh dear! That made me laugh. I had to 'collect' this title for my strange shelf. I bet it's kinda funny.

[Carol (StarAngel's Reviews) Allen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Can't wait to see what's next for Fister, Mikey, Henry and his mom!

I have to admit..the story was corny...but I LOVED it!

[Cara · Rating 3 out of 5]

So I got this for free through the goodreads giveaway, and I'm glad I got it, because I would never buy it.

It's irreverent, crass, disgusting, and utterly hilarious. I have a love/hate relationship with it. On one hand, I don't think I have ever laughed out loud as often or, well, loud as I did in this book. Then there are so many parts that were too much for my feminine sensibilities.

I love the idea that some well known and respected author decided he was going to write something so absurd, just because he could. I bet he was laughing like a little kid the whole time he was writing it.

To sum it all up, I thought it was hilarious, and high recommend it to anybody who can't get enough of college boy humor; on the other hand, I would absolutely never recommend it to anybody I know. I think I'll give it away as a white elephant gift.

[Crystal · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ok, so I entered to win this on a whim - and I was selected ! I really wasn't sure what to expect, but having read the intro to the book, well, I just HAD to ! And you know what, I was very pleasantly surprised. While the book is quite rough and pretty gross - if you have a sick sense of humor, you'll love it ! Shades of Christopher Moore and/or Dorsey I'd say. I don't want to give anything away ! It is laugh out loud funny as far as I'm concerned - of course, I'm a little twisted. You'll certainly be surprised just WHERE this story goes ! If you've got the balls for something over the top, I can't recommend it enough.

[Chris · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book contains demonic flatulence. It’s got the word Buttholes in the title. What more do you need to know? If that does not put you off, then you are in for a very entertaining read. It weighs in at only 110 pages. But you need to strap in for 110 pages of fast paced and raunchy high jinks. A guilty pleasure, sure. I have already recommended it to others.
This is book 1 in a series.
I received this book by entering a giveaway, here on Goodreads. I was selected at random as a winner, and the book was sent to me free of charge. It was not sent to me in exchange for anything including, but limited to, a review.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have entered the Giveaway for this book and W.W. Pecker gave me the opportunity to download it for free.
What to say...
THIS BOOK IS A GOLD MINE!!!
It's hilarious!!!
Thumbs up to the Author.
It's a short story but well written and full of surprises. I can't wait to read the next ones.
from the first few pages i was in love with it. Gross humor that keeps nothing back.
And i'm not going to spoil it for everyone cause it's something you must read for yourselves, it will make you laugh so hard that you will become blue for lack of oxygen XD

[Louie walters · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fast paced and hilarious I don't believe that he wrote this book to be serious so if you go into it with that mind set you will enjoy it. I didn't stop laughing the whole time. Anyone with a sick and twisted sense of humor should read this book. SO FUNNY! Kirk Cameron and Westboro Baptist Church for the win!!!!!!!!

[Margaret Gaudio · Rating 3 out of 5]

**I received this book as a Goodreads First Read**

What to say about this book.. It was shorter than I expected.

To be fair, I didn't know exactly what to expect when I read this book. I mean, I had a pretty good idea.

If you like crude humor, puns, and potty jokes, you will enjoy this book. It certainly was interesting haha

[Stay Fetters · Rating 5 out of 5]

Who thought a book about assholes would be so enjoyable.
Its starts with Kirk Cameron liking it up the butt and you find out to get rid of demons you have to spread archbishop semen on a dildo and shove it up their ass. Genius
Very different and original. Laugh out loud funny and disturbingly great.
Must read more of this. :)

[Valerie Candelaria · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a fun coffee table addition. Its the perfect icebreaker and never fails at provoking the best jokes when company is present. I actually gave this book to my boyfriend as a gift because his humor is as sick as the authors.

[Angelica Dimeo · Rating 5 out of 5]

I got this book from the good reads First reads giveaway
The book was very humorous it reminded me of how I was
when I was a kid. Has a little crude language but you know what your getting into
just by the title its self. Thanks for the Opportunity would read again.

[Jeffery Chatham · Rating 3 out of 5]

I won this book in a giveaway, so I can't blame anyone but myself for reading it. Despite the name it is actually a good book if you don't mind a lot of crude humor. It's a short read and funny enough that I'm considering checking out the sequels. Not for the overly squeamish.

[DoodlePanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

** 3.5 stars rounded up to 4 **

I have no idea how to review this book.

It was weird and hilarious, all at the same time :)

Would recommend to anyone with a silly, and slightly juvenile, humor!

[Alaina Maxam · Rating 4 out of 5]

this was an interesting read. definitely not what I thought it would be. at times it was quiet funny

[Deacon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Irreverant and incredibly hilarious! Loved it...

[Ian J. Peterson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book had me laughing so hard I genuinely thought someone might call the men in white coats on me. I’m not joking — at one point I was laughing so uncontrollably that I was sure a neighbor would kick down the door, strap me into a straitjacket, and drag me to the nearest loony bin. And honestly? After a few chapters, I probably would’ve agreed I belonged there.

Psycho Proctologists and the Flaming Buttholes of Doom is one of my all-time favorite books. It’s outrageous, unhinged, and so brilliantly stupid that it circles all the way back to genius. The story throws you into flaming medical disasters, deranged villains, and situations no sane human should ever survive — yet somehow the characters do, and I couldn’t stop turning the pages.

I still can’t believe a sane person actually wrote this. It’s incredible, unforgettable, and dangerous to read in public. Five stars.

[Kimberly · Rating 2 out of 5]

**I received this book as a Goodreads First Read** (a long time ago)

I've never read any bizarro fiction so I figured I'd give it a try. Not really my cup of tea but I did chuckle at parts. At times I wanted it to be longer with more story. And others I was like nope this is long enough. I'll probably end up passing it on to one of friends who will enjoy it much more than me.

[Rissa (an M/M kinda Girl!!) · Rating 2 out of 5]

WTH did I just read?!

I've read my fair share of crazy stuff but 'menstrual' demons and getting demons out of people by using a dildo up the ass.... SMH. Not my cuppa. There were a handjobs and dildos but nothing for enjoyment.

There are plans for a book 2 but I don't think I'll read it.

[Marie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Weird

Probably won't read the rest of the series, but it was something mindless to read after some heavy books. Parts were distasteful and almost stopped reading it, but wanted to see it through.

[Jennifer-Eve Workman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I won this through Goodreads First Reads Giveaway.

[Casey May · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not quite sure how this one managed to get published. It is pretty much exactly what you'd expect from a book with this name.

[Hey Hey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well that was, different. :P
But what did you expect with that title?

[Jamie Russell · Rating 1 out of 5]

Really bad book. Humorous plot though. But really no story behind it. Could have had potential though.

[John Allgood · Rating 1 out of 5]

I didn't enjoy this at all. I thought it would be an amusing book but I didn't find it amusing. Not worth what I paid for it (free).

[Dan · Rating 4 out of 5]

An adventure with bodily fluids, demons, restrooms, proctologists, and the Westboro Baptist Church. What could go wrong?