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Win Without Fighting: Learn from Sun Tzu How to Handle Difficult Persons, Resolve Conflicts & Enjoy Relationships
Many people, especially those who have yet to read Sun Tzu’s Art of War, or only to read it in passing, have mistakenly thought it to be a book that advocates strategies on fighting, and more fighting. Nothing can be further from the truth because the most powerful strategy in this 2,500-year-old book is really the one about "to win without fighting." This was what Sun Tzu had written so long "Fighting to win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the supreme strategy. The supreme strategy is to win without fighting." In this book, the author shows how one can win without fighting. Although he doesn’t promise a quick fix, the practical ideas he advocates will show step-by-step how to develop the right attitude and approach to position oneself in resolving conflict with creativity, empathy, grace, humor and sincerity. Learn to identify the five difficult types of personalities that you will come across in any interaction – the Warrior, the Smart Alec, the Opposition, the Wishy-Washy, and the Bureaucrat – and decide on the appropriate strategies to deal with them. This book will change your outlook on life because as the author puts it, "Indeed, when armed with the know-how, the commitment, the perseverance, we can actually do our part to avoid misunderstandings and reduce the conflicts that could unwittingly and needlessly plague our lives."
174 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2006
34 people want to read
About the author
Khoo Kheng-Hor
30 books6 followersKhoo Kheng-Hor is a Malaysian author and speaker on contemporary application of the 500 BC Chinese military treatise, The Art of War, by military strategist Sun Tzu. In the 1990s, Khoo was the first Sun Tzu student in South-east Asia to link and teach the general's principles in relation to business and management. To date, Khoo has written over 26 business and management books, most of which are based on Sun Tzu's Art of War as he made it his life's mission to "suntzunize" as many people as possible. In 1997, although a Malaysian citizen, he was appointed as honorary Assistant Superintendent of Police by the Singapore Police Force in recognition for his contribution as consultant-trainer to the police force of Singapore. His first novel, Taikor, was nominated by the National Library of Malaysia for the 2006 International Dublin Literary Award. Since 1999, Khoo has gone into retirement and occasionally travels in Malaysia and Singapore.
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
March 19, 2020
I gave this rating because it's not my cup of tea, it is more suited for people in corporate setting or people who need to negotiate.
February 26, 2008
Win without Fighting by Mr Khoo Kheng Hor.
This book is based on Sun Tzu's Art of War principles and how those ideas can be of use not only in war but can also be use in our daily lives, be it work or personal.
If you know both yourself and your enemy, you will come out of one hundred battles with one hundred victories. But to be the best of the best - Therefore One hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the most skillful. Seizing the enemy without fighting is the most skillful.
This is what the author, Mr Khoo Kheng Hor wants to share with readers. In any circumstances, try to avoid confrontation as much as possible. Cause no one will benefit from it. Who ever win without fighting is the best of the best. I think the US president should read this book.
One of the things i learned from reading this book is empathy. Or in other words, think before you say anything. Some times in a fit of anger, it is better to step aside,cool off first before continue to speak. Sometimes in a fit of anger, words that come out from the mouth, could really hurt the person.
Empathy is commonly defined as one's ability to recognize, perceive and directly feel the emotion of another. As the states of mind, beliefs, and desires of others are intertwined with their emotions, one with empathy for another may often be able to more effectively define another's mode of thought and mood. Empathy is often characterized as the ability to "put oneself into another's shoes", or experiencing the outlook or emotions of another being within oneself, a sort of emotional resonance.
In any situation, never berate any one in front of other people. The author gave an example where a husband was always berated by the wife, no matter where they are, the wife will always put him down as some one who is useless. Before the guy was married, he was a happy type kind of person, who can take on the world. When he got married, it was as if he had entered hell on earth. The author suggest that the guy should talk to the wife about not putting him down in front of people, he also needs respect. If this is not solve, in the long run, the marriage will be heading downward.
Who knows what the guy will do? No one will handle this well, be it husband put wife down, wife put husband down, father vs son, employer vs employee. If there is anything to be said, let it be between the two people involve, no need to let the whole world know.
Never jump to conclusion. Listen to people talk first or let the person vent his/her frustration before giving any comment. Always get the whole picture first before making any comments.
This book is good cause, one will learn ways to achieve personal goal without stepping on other people's toes.
This book is based on Sun Tzu's Art of War principles and how those ideas can be of use not only in war but can also be use in our daily lives, be it work or personal.
If you know both yourself and your enemy, you will come out of one hundred battles with one hundred victories. But to be the best of the best - Therefore One hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the most skillful. Seizing the enemy without fighting is the most skillful.
This is what the author, Mr Khoo Kheng Hor wants to share with readers. In any circumstances, try to avoid confrontation as much as possible. Cause no one will benefit from it. Who ever win without fighting is the best of the best. I think the US president should read this book.
One of the things i learned from reading this book is empathy. Or in other words, think before you say anything. Some times in a fit of anger, it is better to step aside,cool off first before continue to speak. Sometimes in a fit of anger, words that come out from the mouth, could really hurt the person.
Empathy is commonly defined as one's ability to recognize, perceive and directly feel the emotion of another. As the states of mind, beliefs, and desires of others are intertwined with their emotions, one with empathy for another may often be able to more effectively define another's mode of thought and mood. Empathy is often characterized as the ability to "put oneself into another's shoes", or experiencing the outlook or emotions of another being within oneself, a sort of emotional resonance.
In any situation, never berate any one in front of other people. The author gave an example where a husband was always berated by the wife, no matter where they are, the wife will always put him down as some one who is useless. Before the guy was married, he was a happy type kind of person, who can take on the world. When he got married, it was as if he had entered hell on earth. The author suggest that the guy should talk to the wife about not putting him down in front of people, he also needs respect. If this is not solve, in the long run, the marriage will be heading downward.
Who knows what the guy will do? No one will handle this well, be it husband put wife down, wife put husband down, father vs son, employer vs employee. If there is anything to be said, let it be between the two people involve, no need to let the whole world know.
Never jump to conclusion. Listen to people talk first or let the person vent his/her frustration before giving any comment. Always get the whole picture first before making any comments.
This book is good cause, one will learn ways to achieve personal goal without stepping on other people's toes.
November 6, 2013
Am still digesting this book. I guess I will need a second, third or even 4th reading to be able to apply it in life. this is certainly one book that will give me a different meaning in each stage of life.
For quite sometime , I thought Sun Tzu Art of War are mostly applicable in business world and for those higher management level only. I am wrong about that.
as explained by the author, Sun Tzu Art of War can be applied to all stages of our life be it in the cooperate world or in family life.
interesting point is how to win the war without fighting. how to know ourselves and our enemy. which approach is the best.
I see now that there are some steps here that I wish I had known earlier when I was in the cooperate world - things on how to handle difficult customers, staffs and bosses. it would have minimise a lot of conflict.
yes sometimes ones won an argument but the looser may not concur with one.
as the author had said, this book is not a quick fix to ones problems but it can help ones to develop the right attitude which would help to resolve conflict .
my hope is that I will have the ability and maturity to learn and apply what's is being taught in this book.
For quite sometime , I thought Sun Tzu Art of War are mostly applicable in business world and for those higher management level only. I am wrong about that.
as explained by the author, Sun Tzu Art of War can be applied to all stages of our life be it in the cooperate world or in family life.
interesting point is how to win the war without fighting. how to know ourselves and our enemy. which approach is the best.
I see now that there are some steps here that I wish I had known earlier when I was in the cooperate world - things on how to handle difficult customers, staffs and bosses. it would have minimise a lot of conflict.
yes sometimes ones won an argument but the looser may not concur with one.
as the author had said, this book is not a quick fix to ones problems but it can help ones to develop the right attitude which would help to resolve conflict .
my hope is that I will have the ability and maturity to learn and apply what's is being taught in this book.
September 30, 2013
It is a good book for those interested to know a practitioner's experience with Sun Tzu methods. One of the applications that is commonly seen in the Malaysian roads is the police tent by the roadside/highway side. Truly ingenious idea :)
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews