Elsbeth and the Pirate's Adventure, Book II of the Cape Cod Witch Series

by J. Bean Palmer, Melanie Therrien (Illustrations)

On a school trip to historic Boston, ElsBeth becomes entangled in the fateful kidnapping and daring sea rescue of a young Arabian prince. Helped by a famous pirate captain ghost, ElsBeth and her friends find that honor, friendship and freedom come from fighting for something bigger than themselves. Full-color illustrations. Illustrated by Melanie Therrien. Originally published in paperback as "The Cape Cod Witch and the Legend of the Pirate."

167 pages, ebook

First published July 23, 2012

About the author

J BEAN PALMER is the author of the popular award winning Little Cape Cod Witch fantasy adventures for middle-grade readers. With a degree in environmental science, her stories reflect a theme of respect for the natural world. She is a member of the Society for Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators, National League of American Pen Women, the Cape Cod Cultural Center, and a former member of the board of the Cape Cod Writers Center.

Reviews

[Y. Correa · Rating 2 out of 5]

ElsBeth is a young witch from Cape Cod, Massachusetts who is learning to practice magic in a responsible way, as well as trying to learn how to be a good girl and a productive member of society. She is in the second grade and is apparently, per her teacher Ms. Finch, the dunce and biggest trouble maker in her class, albeit accidentally as ElsBeth always seems to get caught at the wrong time. She is always getting in big trouble by Mr. Finch. Of course, the class brown-noser, Robert Hillman-Jones, is of no help.

ElsBeth is trying her hardest to do the right thing but has a somewhat explosive temper and sometimes blows up.

The entire 2nd Grade will soon be going on a class trip to the historic city of Boston and ElsBeth's grandmother is skeptical—over protective, more so—about allowing ElsBeth to join the trip.

Finally, the entire class, including ElsBeth make it to Boston and that's when the big adventure begins. At this point, a Pirate Ghost, and Arabian Prince and a group of bandits and a boat named the Jolliest Roger join the mix.

My thoughts on this story, unfortunately, are not the best. Mostly, because I felt like the story line had lots of potential, however the execution was completely off in my humble opinion.

You will find my review broken down into bullets and sub-bullets, along with snippets for examples and references.
My review will address this book from three different perspectives.

* As a parent

* As a teacher

* As a child of the target age

I really do not want to get too excessive with my review, or too drawn out for that matter, so I suppose I shall start with the Pros. They sadly were few.

* I truly enjoyed the illustrations. They were colorful and eye catching.

* I enjoyed the character of Bartholomew (the Frog/Native American Wampanoag Prince)

* The attempt at some scholastic lessons throughout the story.

* The story, while a part of a series, can definitely be read as a stand alone.

Regrettably, that was it. The rest that I'm about to point out is a vast list of Cons that range from plot holes, to syntax.

* Whilst the story has been written for a target audience of ages 8 and above, I feel like this particular work is too complicated and too long for an 8 year old.

1. The length alone is a turn off for any 8 year old. I cannot foresee any 8 year old child delving into this book as it has a length of 120 pages, and due to the fact that there are not enough illustrations in it. Most 8 year olds are in 2nd grade and still trying to read Dr. Seuss. So, let's be honest here, Dr. Seuss is a series of story books full of pictures and colors, and are also very short, yet most 8 years are still having trouble getting through them.

2. The story line is too complicated for any 8 year old child, as it has too much going on, and there are too many characters involved.

* I found that throughout the story there were too many plot holes, things that didn't make sense, other things that need not be in the story, as well as some things that weren't completely explained. Finally there was incomplete context.

Following is an example of an incomplete thought that was left dangling.

"ElsBeth was nervous about the upcoming trip, though. Her grandmother usually totally supported her interests, but this time Hannah was reluctant for the little witch to go.

“Too many ghosts and ghouls around that town. Mean spirited, too, most of them,” the older witch added each time the field trip was mentioned.

But it had become difficult for ElsBeth to have any serious discussion at all with her grandmother lately. She was completely preoccupied with all the odd happenings around town."

Here is the problem with the above. The grandmother's thought was left incomplete, ended with a comma which makes the reader believe that there will be more added to it later, yet the 'more' never comes.

* Here is an example of an inconsistency.

At the very beginning of the story the narrative relates that ElsBeth doesn't particularly like to make friends that are boys. However, in the very next sentence it says that she had several friends that are boys that she'd known for a long time. Among them were Robert Hillman-Jones and Johnny Twofeathers.

* There was also the matter of a 2nd Grader being put on detention. Following is the evidence:

"Ms. Finch turned sharply. “Detention, Ms. Thistle. You’ll stay after school for the rest of the week. You lack discipline, young lady!

“And I’m just the one to fix that,” the teacher sneered."

Here are my problems with the above.

1. 2nd Graders, by law, are not allowed to take detention, as they are no more than 7 or 8 years old.

2. So if firstly, they are not allowed to take detention, then why would the teacher even venture on giving the child detention for an entire week?

3. Detention is a school rule applied to children of middle school/junior high age and above.

* Also, the narrative relates that the 2nd grade had Study Hall. Study Hall is a high school subject, not elementary school.

* The set of the way the book reads and feels like it is more for an audience of middle school/junior high and high school. Mostly because it is related that ElsBeth gets put on detention during math class, which per the context of the story seems more like it's math period/hour.

All right, so there were the above, which were some of plot holes albeit not all of the ones in the story, as I found many, many more. Now, since I do not want to spend this entire review fixated on plot holes and inconsistencies alone, I shall move forward.

* There was also the matter of improper syntax.

1. Too many (and when I say too many, I mean every single page had them) sentences stared with conjunctions. Here are examples of just a few:

Page 12:
"But she made up her mind. She really would have to talk with Sylvanas. And get him to answer. Right after dessert! That morning, Grandmother had said they might have maple custard at supper. And with the thought of this tempting treat, all else, for now, was instantly forgotten."

Now, I must be clear and say that this is just one snippet from a single page that was inundated with sentences that started with "But" and "And."

2. The excessive use of parentheses.
It seemed like every time the author wanted to implement some random, unnecessary information, she'd put it in with parentheses. Here are some examples:

Page 24:
"After dinner ElsBeth completed her homework and her chores. (Even witches have to do chores every day.)"

Page 48:
"Most of the children looked confused. (Except those destined to be lawyers and politicians -- to them this made perfect sense.)"

Page 93:
"It was a Mexican standoff (whatever that is) to end all standoffs. And for a moment no one moved an inch."
"The baby dragon had bumbled its way over to see what all the noise was. (Dragons are terribly curious.)"

Page 96:
"Mac jumped out of the bus and shimmied up a copper drainpipe, a ceremonial sword gripped between his teeth. (He used this for his Irish sword dancing exhibitions and always kept one hidden, but handy, under the driver’s seat of his bus, in case of emergency.)"

Let's just say that every time the author wanted to implement or interject some arbitrary information parentheses was used, more so in the latter end of the book.

* Here we find not only several sentences that start with conjunctions but also a switch between first person narrative and third person.

Page 101:

"And Xavier says he’s my cousin! What could he mean? Grandmother won’t talk much about the family. She says it’s still too painful. And what does she mean by that? And Grandmother is all fuddled now. How will I ever understand? The little witch felt tears well up into her eyes. But then she felt attention on her from the front of the bus, and looked up."

* There was also the excessive use of commas, hyphens—particularly unnecessary ones, and long (also known as EM) dashes.

Here is something that really bothered me. It was that during dialogue one would continually see a conversation started with quotations that ended without, then continued on another line which started with a quotation mark again. This is very confusing because the new line tends to make one's brain believe that it's another character speaking. Here is an example:

“I know,” Violet said. “I’ve been thinking quite a lot about it.

“There’s something fishy about our teacher, Mr. Benedict. When I get back, I’m going to talk with Prince Abu and we’ll do some detective work.

“I have the idea Mr. Benedict was somehow in on the kidnapping. I noticed he didn’t look at all surprised when it happened. Almost like he expected it.

“First, I’m going to call the school and tell them he gave me permission to stay overnight with you. And I bet he won’t dare say anything.

“It’s a boarding school, after all, and the last thing they’ll want is to have to tell my parents they lost me for a whole day.

“I don’t think I’m going to be in any trouble at all,” Violet smiled. “I think we might find someone else is.”

As you can see, that can fool the eye and be very confusing.

* I feel like it took too long for the actual "adventure" part of the story to start. The entire first quarter of the book is all about ElsBeth, her school and daily life. It almost made me think that there was going to be no 'adventure'. I thought to myself "What 8 year old kid is going to wait this long for an adventure to being?" None that I know of.

Here are my final thoughts.

When a book is written for children it's super important that said book have, above all, proper syntax, as every book that a child picks up is a lesson learned in the English language. When a children's book lacks proper syntax, it's almost unforgivable, because the point of a children's book is not only to entertain but to teach.

Also, rationale should be a big element in any book, children's or otherwise. So, when a story lacks rationality it makes for a very bewildering read.

My thoughts are that if this book were properly edited and some of the inconsistencies, plot holes and randomness were cut, the book would be half its size and therefore much more appealing to children. There is much more that I can say about ElsBeth and the Pirate’s Adventure—from my bane for certain characters, ElsBeth included, to the fundamental entertainment of the story that isn't really even there. However, I'll keep it short...

THIS BOOK NEEDS A LOT OF WORK! I don't care how many awards it's received.

[Terry]

Read. Not reviewed.

[Nicola · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautifully illustrated and engaging action adventure for all ages.

I wasn’t sure that I was going to enjoy this book at first because I thought that the first paragraph, the opening in fact, was unnecessary and not well written. I preferred the next paragraph with ElsBeth in school, it was more immediate and put us straight into the story, which is about the youngest witch in Cape Cod, who goes on a school trip to Boston against her grandmother’s wishes, because witches come to no good in that city. However the seemingly ordinary trip, turns out to be quite an adventure with pirates and a kidnapped prince, she must save.

She is joined by a whole host of magical creatures, from bats that can talk to musical chipmunks, and fairies, that aim to keep her safe on this strange and often perilous journey.

I loved the illustrations by Melanie Therrien, they really added to the text, were beautifully executed and young readers will adore them I’m sure. Some of the characters are very engaging; I was particularly taken with Professor Badinoff, ElsBeth’s familiar, who helps her to understand math problems in a very entertaining way (me too, if I’m honest). There are elements of history and cultural reference that are neatly intermingled with the plotline and I thought that was a good way to educate young readers without boring them with lesson-type narrative. Another favourite was Sir Percival Parrot; he had a brave yet vulnerable side that made him easy to identify with when the action became perilous. Sylvanas, the oversized cat, who tries to keep order, was a great character too. And of course, the ‘Dreaded Baby Dragon’, who doesn’t love a baby dragon?

Sometimes the point of view shifted too often, and I would have liked to stay with a character a little longer before going onto the next one. Rapid scene changes from chapter to chapter, was also a little off-putting, as again, I wanted to stay with the action rather than go to another location and yet more new characters. I wasn’t too keen on the odd chapter lengths. There didn’t seem to be that much consistency in the word count. Sometimes the chapters would be shortish, then a bit longer, then very short, and I felt this made the narrative somewhat disjointed on occasions. I also felt that it took too long to get into the real adventure part. Maybe J Bean Palmer, was trying to get all the necessary history detail in and this overshadowed the actual action scenes. The final chapter wasn’t great, and a bit disappointing after the marvelous and exciting earlier scenes. Maybe it could just be a little shorter to give impact. The beginning and the ending are what most readers will remember after they have read a book, so they should be the ones that deliver.

Having said all that, I really enjoyed this book. There were some great descriptions that made you feel as though you were there and living the action. Overall it is well-written and entertaining. I noticed that the book is aimed at 9-12 year olds, but I think the style and simplicity of language and plot line would suit a younger audience. I would recommend this novel to anyone who enjoys a good action-packed and informative read, no matter what the age, there is enough content in here to satisfy all who enjoy a good romp.

[Queen Spades · Rating 3 out of 5]

Note: This book was submitted by the author in exchange for an honest review.

At times, I will make a few comparisons between the first book and the second book, since I did read the first book as well. This is my abbreviated review; the full review can be found on TRB.

Pros

1. Just like in the first book, I am fanatic about the illustrations.
2. Although I didn’t care for ElsBeth previously, she has redeemed herself somewhat in this book. She exhibits more maturity, although her temper was a deterrent a few times.
3. Historical references provided a learning experience for children and adults alike.
4. Few bits of humor here and there which.
5. Everywhere one looked, there was conflict. It is definitely important to keep action at the forefront when marketing to the young.

Here are some of the cons that kept it from getting top stars this round:

1. Improper syntax continued to be a running theme. Examples are the strange use of commas, abundance of hyphenated words that didn't need the punctuation, and a lot of ( ).
2. Where the first book ElsBeth and the Pirate’s Treasure was balanced in length, I think ElsBeth and the Pirate’s Adventure is too lengthy. Although it may not seem like it if an adult is reading this to a youth, if one (within the nine to ten year old range) were to pick it up on his own, then it may prove to be a bit of a challenge to some.
3. I still believe the name brand dropping (Nordstrom, L.L. Bean, etc.) is not needed and provides no extra value to the narrative.
4. There are way too many characters in this particular work for those on the younger spectrum of the target audience to keep pace with.
5. Dialogue doesn't match the age of the characters in most spots.
6. It did take slightly too long to get to the actual "Pirate's Adventure."

With the rich illustrations and story base, ElsBeth does have lots of promise yet more editing to tidy up syntax, overage of characters, mismatch of dialogue and delay in getting to the meat of the action keeps it from getting to treasure like shine.